golden
With Remus's profound popularity as well as the demanding workload the 6th year provided Sirius saw less than he would have liked of his friend and one-sided crush and therefore decided to take drastic measures; visiting Remus's study group.
Sirius was not the kind to study. His constant tutoring as a child had given him a head start in most topics as well as a great hatred for it, associating it with living up to expectations that he had spent his whole life attempting to avoid. Besides, Sirius was a naturally curious person who read a lot, though perhaps not as much as Remus. Furthermore, no one could compete with him in terms of research, despite the fact that he primarily exploited that skill for pranks. As a result, his natural inclinations provide him with sufficient knowledge to perform well in exams without the need for many hours spent in the library. Remus, on the other hand, was an intellectual at heart. He'd thrive as a Professor, whether in the muggle or wizarding worlds. It was also his genuine willingness to educate and care for others that made him so approachable to others. In addition, and this may be Sirius' biased view, he looked incredibly sexy while doing it. And, given that Remus's study group had become so large that he had to convene two different ones each week, Sirius's sentiment, much to his dismay, appeared universally shared.
And really, it seemed like a foolproof plan. No matter how much he disliked studying, he surely could get a grip for an hour and just silently observe his best mate, right?
The thing is, Sirius wasn’t really a silent person. He was also much too used to joking around with Moony, bickering and being sarcastic. Tutor Moony, Remus, wasn’t one for all that though, so Sirius learnt. He didn’t know what he had done exactly that made Remus throw him out after 15 minutes (okay, he had a slight idea, but is folding paper planes and letting them fly into Georgina Martinson's hairdo really that distracting? Sirius reasoned that Moony had overreacted). Still, he was banned from joining the study group ever again, leaving him to take even more miserable measures.
For the past three weeks, Sirius would stand outside the room where Moony held his sessions, bouncing on his heels as he waited for his friend's lesson to end so he could drag him away as far as possible from all those other people, who always seemed to linger with questions they easily could have asked before, under some false pretence so he could spend time with him. It was pathetic and see-through, especially since he was slowly running out of excuses. Today he came up with going to the Owlery to see if the new Vynils Andromeda had promised him would arrive when Sirius knew for a fact that she hadn’t even sent them yet.
Sirius was whistling a song when the door opened and the first few people came out, leaving him smiling brightly. After a while, he thought enough people had left but he could still hear voices inside so he rolled his eyes in annoyance and poked his head inside the room. Remus was standing with this back to him, his arms raised as he charmed the tables that had been pushed to the side to go back into their previous order. Next to him was a girl, turned so Sirius could see her side profile and make out her flushed cheeks.
‘’Thank you so much again for showing me how to hold my wand correctly, I could never get it right before!’ she chirped. Sirius got a mental image in his head, of her blushing furiously while Remus's long, gentle fingers that Sirius loved so much, could watch for hours as they turned the pages of a book or held a quill so delicately while writing down the steps for their next prank, wrapped around her skinny wrist to correct her posture, maybe lingering for a few seconds before leaving the skin he touched warmer than before. He wanted to hex her.
Mine.
‘’Glad to help,’’ Remus said absentmindedly as he moved his wand again to collect all the books playing around.
‘’So, um, Remus, you know next weekend is a Hogsmead weekend, right?’’ the girl asked shyly and Sirius huffed, moving to lean against the door frame, hoping she would notice him.
Remus just shrugged though Sirius's expert eye in all things Moony could see his shoulders tense a bit.
‘’Could you…or rather would you maybe…I mean, if it would be no trouble-’’ the girl began stuttering, making Sirius roll his eyes once more.
‘’Oh,’’ Remus just said, his voice sounding strangely flat as he paused the motion of his wand for a second before resuming. The werewolf sighed before beginning to speak again, not even bothering to turn to face her.
‘’Look, I’m sorry, but Sirius really doesn’t appreciate it if I ask him out for someone else,’’ he said matter of factly. Sirius's eyebrows shot up in surprise - Remus had never asked him out for anyone.
The girl’s eyes widened as well and she began stumbling over her words even more, waving her hands frantically.
‘’No, I mean..t-that wasn’t!.. I wasn’t trying to!’’
Remus turned his head to head with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘’It’s okay, happens all the time,’’ he said with a shrug, causing Sirius to be even more surprised. The werewolf's eyes furrowed for a second and he turned around to see Sirius standing at the door, probably having picked up his figure in his peripheral vision.
‘‘Oh, hi,’’ he said, quickly glancing back at the girl as if waiting for her to go ask Sirius out herself. The raven-haired Gryffindor looked back at her as well and found her looking crestfallen and he couldn’t help but feel bad for her for being shot down like that. In a way he had had a thousand of the same interactions with Moony, that thick-headed, beautiful bastard, so he decided to save her at least some face.
‘’Hiya Moons, study session finally over? Just saw all your little minions run out the room,’’ he chirped as he stepped in, hoping it seemed like he had just walked by and hadn’t overheard the conversation.
‘’I’m leaving then,’’ the girl mumbled, head turned to the ground before she quickly stepped out. Sirius really did feel bad for her but that feeling was replaced as soon as she was out of the door. Giddily, he turned to his friend, a bright smile on his face.
‘’Why are you grinning like an idiot?’’ Remus asked though there was no edge to his voice and a small smile had returned to his face as well.
Sirius couldn’t tell why he was suddenly so happy. Maybe it was the delusion that was building in his head that, if apparently a lot of people approached Remus to ask Sirius out on their behalf yet he had never gotten a single request from the werewolf, perhaps it was because Remus didn’t want him to date anyone else in the way Sirius didn’t want anyone other than him to have his Moony. And though he felt bad for the girl he was still glad that Remus had been too dense to see her invitation for what it was.
‘’Ah, nothing, just a beautiful day, isn’t it?’’ Sirius said with a shrug. After a beat he couldn't help himself and put his arms around Remus, propping his chin on the other’s shoulder.
‘’What’s this?’’ Remus asked, sounding slightly alarmed, body frozen in Sirius’s arms.
‘’Ah, I just love you,’’ Sirius sighed.
If only you knew how much.
‘’Oh god, what did you do?’’ Remus asked, now properly alarmed. Sirius chuckled and pulled himself away from Moony, letting his hands rest on his shoulders.
‘’Nothing, nothing, I swear. Hey, fancy a walk to the owlery?’’
That particular incident had repeated itself two more times, each with different people trying to ask Remus out which Sirius had interrupted until the Gryffindor had had enough and just asked Remus out for the weekend himself. Of course, Remus had seen it as simply a friendly invitation and therefore, when Peter and Mary had complained about having no one to go with over breakfast the morning of the trip, Remus had graciously asked them if they wanted to come along. Which was fine, really. Splendid. Just peachy.
Okay so maybe Sirius was a bit pissed off. Especially since James wouldn’t stop rubbing his successful relationship in his face along with advice such as ‘’You just have to keep going!’’. He was glad James finally got the girl of his dreams and could take her to Hogsmead on dates, but his advice on pursuing your crush lacked a bit of credibility seeing how it took him years to get Lily. God, what if Sirius had to wait years? What if it would never happen?
Such ideas aggravated his gloom, and by the time they arrived at Hogsmead, Sirius had his hands balled up in his pocket and a frown on his face. Remus observed his change in attitude, but when he asked Sirius about it, he only shrugged, still feeling a little disheartened by him and hence unwilling to converse.
His mood didn’t lift when they went shopping, especially when he has left alone while Remus searched for new quills and Peter and Mary were lost in their own world, talking excitedly about Divination as they were the only ones in their group who took that course.
After an eternity Remus had finally decided on the right set (he really was a pain in the ass about such things though Sirius couldn’t help but find it endearing) and rejoined them.
‘’Broomsticks? I’m freezing my tits off,’’ Mary proclaimed as they walked out of the store.
‘’Charming, Mcdonald,’’ Sirius scoffed. He didn’t really fancy sitting next to Mary and Peter and their endless talking while Remus asked him what was wrong every five seconds.
‘’I’d love a butterbeer now!’’ Peter, who seemed as unaware of Sirius's sour mood as Mary, proclaimed.
‘’Great!’’ Mary chirped, hocking her arm around Peters.
‘’Actually,’’ Remus began when the two of them had startled to walk towards the establishment, Sirius begrudgingly following. They turned back to look at him and Sirius found the werewolf looking at him intently as if trying to get a message across.
‘’I think I changed my mind about that quill set,’’ he said, causing all of them to groan.
‘’You can go ahead with Peter though if you want! But I think it might take a while, sorry. Sirius, if you could come to help me decide though, I’m just so unsure if I want the rounded tip or the sharp one,’’ he said, enunciating his words meaningfully. Sirius immediately perked up at the prospect of leaving the other two alone and played along, moving to stand by Remus's side.
‘’Of course, Moony, you know I care a great deal about, uh, quill maintenance,’’ he said. He could hear Remus trying to stop himself from laughing by fake coughing. If Mary and Peter found their interaction strange they did not show it, in fact, they seemed just as delighted to be rid of them.
‘’Alright, see you back at Hogwarts then, we know how you and your quills get, Moony!’’ Peter chirped as he turned on his heel and walked to the Three-Broom-Stick with Mary.
Once they were out of sight Sirius turned to look at Remus with a sheepish grin, raising his eyebrows.
‘’Now, tell me why I just had to use the words ‘quill maintenance’ in a sentence, my love?’’ he chuckled.
Remus couldn’t keep himself from laughing any longer and Sirius felt a comfortable warmth spread inside of him as he watched those freckles reflect in the sunlight that shone on the other boys' face at that moment. Sirius thought he was golden. No matter how much the moon attempted to claw at him, he was pure sunlight. Sirius was willing to battle the moon so that Remus may shine as brightly as he did now for the rest of his life.
‘’I’m sorry, okay? Peter has just been talking my ear off about Mary recently so when she said she didn’t have a date for today I thought I’d try to play matchmaker a little,’’
Sirius laughed at that. The thought of Remus Lupin, who was completely unaware of any affections towards him, playing matchmaker, was hilarious.
‘’I know, I know. But hey, it seemed to work!’’
‘’Worked alright, now he’s going to be just as smug about bagging a date as Prongs,’’
‘’Ugh, tell me about it. And here I thought his rants about Lily’s hair would stop once he finally gets to tell it to her face,’’
They began walking, Sirius didn’t really know which direction but he also didn’t care, too wrapped up and soaking up every bit of time he got alone with him.
‘’Now do you want to tell me what’s got your knob in a twist earlier?’’ Remus asked suddenly as they reached the entrance of the small village, leaning against a wall and pulling out a cigarette. Sirius blinked awkwardly and used lightning the cigarette Moony handed him as an excuse to come up with something yet his mind was blank.
‘’Oh, well, you know…’’ he said measly, feeling his palms begin to sweat. Suddenly their solitude made him feel caged in and he wondered if this was his opportunity to come clean about his feelings and stop beating around the bush.
‘’I think I do, yeah,’’ Remus said before taking a hit and then blowing out the smoke up into the air, presenting his long, elegant neck to Sirius as well as his sharp jawline which made the other boy’s mouth run dry.
‘’You do?’’ he asked nervously, trying his best to remain calm yet finding it difficult to hold the cigarette steady between his hands.
‘’Yeah, you wanted to get something secret for a prank, right?’’ Remus asked, that same glint in his eyes when he knew the answer in class faster than everyone else.
Sirius could have started laughing, weeping, or screaming but instead, he just smiled fondly.
‘’My, nothing gets past those keen werewolf senses of yours, does it, Lupin,’’ he said and the sarcasm drifted entirely past Remus who just smiled brightly, his eyes shining like the stars.
‘’What is it, tell me?’’
And so he and Remus spend the rest of the afternoon coming up with a prank so grand and flawed it would get them detention the second they pulled it off. In a strange way, Sirius was happy about it. More alone time with his Moony was really all he could ask for.