Chapter 18
Regulus reaches up to grab the back of James’ neck, pulling him down for one more kiss. James is so extremely special to Regulus, a part of himself that he’s a bit hesitant to share with other people. But a large part of himself wants to introduce James to all his friends, he wants nothing more than to show him off to the ones he can trust the most.
So he decided that he will.
But first, James has to run to his own dorm to get his–rather incredible–map and cloak, just so they’re able to sneak him in with nobody noticing.
Most Slytherins actually mind their own business, but apparently Regulus is the only one that they seem to actually give a shit about. As long as Regulus keeps a low profile, then the least he will get from nosy Slytherins are just a few weird stares, which he’s used to at this point. If he’s being honest, he’s apprehensive about James actually just being in their dorms, being anywhere near harm’s way. There’s so much that could go wrong, and if James is seen with Regulus, then it’s basically a death sentence for the both of them.
“Bye, love.” One more kiss on Regulus’ lips. “I’ll be quick.” Regulus feels his insides go warm at James calling him love, and he feels himself grinning uncontrollably. He tries to stop, but everytime he looks at James a smirk always finds a way of slithering onto his lips. The stupid nicknames James comes up with to be annoying, those are special to Regulus. But the names that just naturally find their way out of James’ mouth, those are so unbelievably important to him.
“Bye,” Regulus whispers back, relishing in the way James’ hands seem to fit perfectly on the sides of his face, as if they were just perfectly molded to fit the entirety of Regulus.
James hums and kisses his forehead. “Beautiful,” he mumbles before slipping out the door, leaving Regulus alone in the silence of the classroom and basking in the warmth from the compliment, making him feel invincible. He waits for a few silent minutes before finally deciding to walk down to the dungeons, not entirely ready for the influx of questions and laughter from Barty, or even the relentless teasing from all their other friends.
Barty is the worst of all, and is already grinning smugly as Regulus slowly approaches him at the entrance to their common room. “Piss off,” Regulus immediately tells him, before Barty has even gotten the chance to say anything at all.
“Reggie,” Barty says incredulously, still somehow in major disbelief, “You and James fucking Potter?”
Regulus widens his eyes, obsessively looking around them just to make sure there’s nobody around to overhear, “Keep your voice down, will you?”
Barty rolls his eyes, but does change how he’s speaking, “Shagging is amazing and all–believe me I know all about that–but you had to choose that person? Out of all the people in this huge bloody building, they’re who you chose?”
“We were absolutely not shagging,” Regulus grits out, reminding Barty for what feels like the thousandth time.
Barty gives him a shit-eating grin, “Yeah, but I just bet you wish you two were.”
Regulus desperately tries not to think about James, tries so hard not to think about his hands and what he can do with them, or where they would go. Regulus tries not to picture James’ strong body that Regulus hasn’t yet had the privilege of feeling under his own. He shakes his head forcefully, willing all dirty thoughts to leave, and nervously swallows. “That’s completely besides the point.”
“Oh I am definitely telling everyone that,” Barty guffaws. “including your little boyfriend.”
Boyfriend. Is that what they are? Regulus has never thought of himself as the type to actually like having a boyfriend, or liking anything that has to do with relationships. He just doesn’t like being a spectacle, having unwarranted attention from his friends. But James makes everything different, and already Regulus is enjoying what they have, and what they could have in the future. He’s terrified of what might happen to what they have, but he enjoys every bit of it nonetheless.
Regulus glares at him, “Fuck you, you are absolutely not telling anyone, anything.”
“I’m scarred after having to witness you all over and on top of Potter. I’d say that it would even everything out,” he says dramatically.
“Tell him and then I’ll tell Evan,” Regulus jokes, Barty glaring right back at him at the mention of Evan. Regulus isn’t completely oblivious, he sees the way that the two of them act around each other. However, he can also tell that it’s something that Barty and Evan don’t want to talk about, more willing to jump around each other and mask their feelings as this big joke, instead of sitting down to communicate.
“Tell Evan what?” Speaking of the devil, Evan himself emerges from the dungeons, looking between the two of them skeptically. Regulus doesn’t miss the way Barty brightens immediately at the sight of him, his whole demeanor changing, hopelessly trying to appear more cool and laid back.
Barty winks at Evan, “Nothing, darling, It’s a surprise.”
“Keeping secrets now, are you?” Evan rolls his eyes, yet there’s no real heat behind it. Very rarely anything he says towards Barty is serious, never is there any meaning behind his insults or mean words. “You know, I’ve been making many assumptions about the two of you.”
Regulus huffs in frustration, “Which I have told you, many, many times, that every one of those assumptions are false.”
“What assumptions?” Barty asks, but the two don’t pay him any mind, too busy glaring at each other. Plus it’s always fun to mess with Barty.
“Well,” Evan continues, “to be fair, you’ve only disproved it maybe two times. And the way you guys act…”
Barty scoffs, “Again. What assumptions?”
“Evan, you’re a genius, but right now you’re being an absolute idiot.”
“Aw, he really has turned you soft,” Barty teases.
Regulus scoffs at him, “Fuck off, Barty, I am not soft. ”
“Oh, so you can hear me.”
“Not by choice,” Regulus replies back, Bary looking mildly offended by him.
“God, you two are obviously dating,” Evan hisses at them, keeping his voice relatively quiet, “Or, shagging or doing something at the very least.”
Barty stares at him dumbly, trying to put the pieces together in his mind. “Yes, Evan. Regulus is my lover and we have marvelous sex every night while you sleep in the bed right next to ours. About time you finally caught on.” Regulus senses someone behind him, and when he turns around just to see nobody there, he rolls his eyes and slides his hand down his face. No doubt James heard Barty say all that, and even if his tone was obviously sarcastic, it’s probably enough to fuel his rather large dislike for Barty.
“It makes sense in my mind,” Evan defends himself, stubborn and unwilling to let this idea go. Of course, Regulus knows why he’s so hung up on this, but he just hopes that Barty knows why as well.
Barty looks at Evan with sympathy, “It genuinely doesn’t, babe, I can tell you that right now.”
“Christ,” Regulus groans, “can you two just go inside already? Please, just go away?”
Barty slightly tilts his head to the entrance, while staring directly at Evan. “I’ll just be a second.”
“Oh,” Evan scoffs, a smug grin on his face. “Giving him one more kiss before you two have to be apart?” Barty says the entry password while rolling his eyes, slowly trying to push Evan inside. “Tongue or no? Hey, just make sure that you two use protection-” Barty is finally able to push him inside the entrance, cutting his sentence off as the wall closes behind him. Regulus is trying his hardest not to break out into a fit of laughter.
“Christ, he is so bloody annoying,” Barty mutters before turning around to face Regulus. “Is he coming?”
“Yes.”
“You sound awfully certain about that.”
Regulus heaves an impatient sigh, “Because I am.”
“If he doesn’t, then I guess I’ll have you all to myself.” Barty winks at him before walking into their empty common room, the wall closing behind him.
“I don’t like him,” James whispers suddenly, from somewhere behind Regulus, still hidden under his invisibility cloak.
Regulus smiles, leaning his head forward so it’s not visible to him. “Give him a chance.”
James scoffs, sounding a bit closer than before, his voice a bit louder when he says, “After he just said that he has marvelous sex with you each night? Absolutely not.”
Regulus smirks, “Jealous?”
“Yes,” James replies simply, not beating around it. It’s not like Regulus couldn’t come to the conclusion that James was jealous of Barty, but it still makes something inside of him light up whenever he hears him confirm it, and suddenly he’s back to thinking about James and everything that he wants to do with him. Oh, he’s messed up, isn’t he?
Regulus rolls his eyes fondly, trying to ignore the way his insides are ripping apart by James’ words. “Let’s just actually make it inside.” Even though he can’t see James, he can practically picture his wild smile, the one so bright it almost makes his eyes hurt.
“Lead the way, snookums.” James winks at him, and Regulus glares in his general direction sharply.
“I would hex you right now if I could see you.”
The two of them are standing outside the door to Regulus’ dorm, James folding up his cloak to hide it in his pockets, and Regulus nervously watching as he does so. “You’re not allowed to not like them,” Regulus blurts out suddenly, and James lifts his head to look at him curiously. “My friends,” he clarifies. “You don’t really like Barty, that’s fine, it’s Barty, I get it. But you also can’t just be cruel to him. And you can’t not like the rest." Regulus evaluates his words, hating how they're coming off as. "I sound controlling, okay you know what, form your own opinions about them. But just not a lot of negative ones.”
“Reg, I’m sure that I’ll love them,” James replies, not sounding or looking worried at all. But he doesn’t quite understand the amount of love that Regulus holds for his friends, how much he loves that they’ve chosen to be stuck by him through everything. He likes James quite a lot, and he can’t deal with the possibility of James hating his friends, somehow making Regulus choose between him or them.
Regulus hesitantly nods and James grins at him, swooping down to give him another kiss. Regulus likes the way James can make all his worries disappear with just his lips on his own, it doesn’t make sense, but somehow they do fade away into nothingness.
Temporarily. They seem to be getting interrupted a lot lately.
His dorm room door swings open, wide enough for everyone on the other side to witness their kiss. They’re all staring at the pair in shock, nobody yet saying anything. Except for Barty, the one to wildly open the door and who is also very horribly attempting to stifle his laughter.
“Oh, hello,” Pandora greets kindly from where she's sitting on the floor, the first to break the ongoing silence.
James smiles at all of them, seemingly not embarrassed in the slightest, “Hello!”
Silence.
“Merlin, Reg looks fucking mortified,” Evan chokes out, right before he suddenly bursts out laughing, Barty right along with him. Regulus scowls and moves further into the room sitting on an open green sofa, making room for James to sit down next to him. He knows that his face is burning red, and he can already feel the way the heat blankets his whole entire face, slowly moving down to his neck. But he refuses to cower away, not in front of his friends and not when it comes to James. Evan and Barty continue to laugh wildly, practically falling all over each other while doing so.
“Oh this is wonderful,” Barty wheezes, “I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to witness this.”
“So. You two are…?” Dorcas trails off, looking back and forth between James and Regulus.
“Together,” James finishes brightly, gladly accepting a drink that Pandora offers him with a polite ‘thank you’.
Dorcas shakes her head, scoffing. “Ah, the big heartbreaker. Pleasure to finally get to meet you” she tells him sarcastically.
James looks into his drink, his mood shifting to something akin to shame and sadness, “Listen-”
Barty doesn’t give James the chance to say anything more, he turns up the music and glares at Dorcas. “This is supposed to be lighthearted and fun, sort it out some other time.”
There’s another short, awkward silence, Regulus wishing that the couch could swallow him up entirely. Perhaps his friends seeing him fully snogging James was the easiest way to announce their relationship, it definitely seems better than having to stand in front of them and actually announce that they are dating.
“I know!” Pandora suggests suddenly, a bit too loud given that the room is pretty much silent, other than the music that’s playing. “Let’s do shots.”
Everyone rolls their eyes or shakes their head, and Pandora immediately throws a fit.
Needless to say, they all end up doing many rounds of shots. The group spend a long time interrogating and making fun of James, and they absolutely lose their shit whenever James says something snarky. Whenever the drinks kick in and everyone's comfortable, Barty is badly serenading Evan, everyone's a bit too pissed to notice that he's not even saying the right words. Pandora is reminiscing with Dorcas and James, the three of them bordering tears while talking about all of their years they’ve spent and enjoyed at Hogwarts. Regulus hasn’t had as much to drink as everyone else has, but just enough so that he feels immediately lighter, that perfect state of mind where he has no cares for anything else in the world, besides James who’s peacefully laying his head in his lap.
Pandora and Dorcas start talking about other things, and James opts out of their conversation. “I really like you,” Regulus tells him softly before he can think twice about it, his hand running through James’ hair. He wishes that things came easy for him. He wishes that he was open to talking to James with no shame in saying everything that he feels for him.
Well not everything. But just enough.
“I really like you too,” James replies earnestly, gazing up at Regulus.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Regulus whispers, grinning despite himself. God, the effects James Potter has on Regulus are near sickening. Well, that might be the shots, but still.
James looks into his eyes, “I’m glad I came here too.”
“No.” Regulus shakes his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “Like that you’re just here. You know?” James looks confused, so Regulus attempts to elaborate. “Living and breathing and… just here. In general. You, my darling, are just so great and I’m so glad that you’re old.”
James giggles, “I am not old.”
Regulus groans, he is desperately trying to say something, but the words flowing out of his mouth don’t seem to make much sense, especially to him in his state. “You aren’t old, but I’m glad that you’re…aging? Yeah, I’m glad that you’re aging. And that you haven’t stopped.”
James laughs a bit more, but there’s something so loving residing in his eyes, something so soft and delicate that Regulus loves so fucking much. Loves? Regulus blinks quickly at the sudden thought. No, likes. Something he just likes a lot.
Meanwhile, Barty’s obnoxious cackling captures both of their attention towards him. “No, no, and then-” Barty is slapping Evan’s arm, trying to calm his laughter so he can actually get his words out. “I- I walk in and there they are! Regulus was crawling all over James, the two of them making out. And to answer your previous question, Evs, there was tongue. Lots. Disgusting, isn’t it?” The two of them laugh harder, hitting each other and objects the more that they laugh, and subsequently even getting Dorcas and Pandora to laugh right along with them.
“Why were you staring at our tongues?” James asks, eyes squinted in what looks like genuine confusion.
Evan laughs and points out how Barty’s face turns slightly pink, although Barty claims it’s the alcohol. “Mate, I thought Reggie was fucking attacking you. He hates you, and I had to make sure he wasn’t killing you with his mouth.”
James looks back up at Regulus, already giggling before he even speaks, “Wouldn’t be a bad way to go out, if I’m being honest.”
“Shut up,” Regulus tells him fondly, shaking his head laughing.
"Well he's not wrong," Evan points out, all of his friends nodding in agreement. Then they laugh and point out how his whole face is like a tomato.
Time passes quickly, with laughter and stories being exchanged by everyone. Some embarrassing singing and dancing that Regulus doesn’t partake in, some kissing that Regulus does partake in with James, and a bit more drinking that everyone indulges in.
Towards the end of the night, things are beginning to settle down a little bit. The music has been turned down and hardly anyone is talking, keeping the room in a very comfortable silence, just some soft singing along to the songs playing. Pretty much all of them are tired, close to falling asleep, but nobody wants to be the first to go and miss out on the fun. There’s a mess on the floor that nobody is going to pick up until the next morning, but nobody minds it.
Regulus loves the soft glow of the lamp in the corner, one of the only lights on in the room making everything feel much nicer and warm. He loves hearing James hum, and how every now and then he’ll sing a line that he feels resonates with Regulus or himself or the both of them.
They’re in the aftermath, the comedown, in the transition hours between nightfall and morning, the time they’re all content with everything and everyone being quieter.
It’s a perfect moment. One that doesn’t get spoiled or tainted with cynical thoughts that pop up, and Regulus soaks it all up while he still can.
He looks down to see James’ eyes fluttering shut before he forces them open again, very obviously fighting sleep.
“Tired?” Regulus whispers to James, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb.
“I’m okay,” James replies softly, but as he speaks a yawn escapes.
Regulus hums, “Well. I think I’m a bit tired, actually.” Maybe it’s Cas' strong drink that she made that he's been nursing, or maybe he’s too tired to think any more than he has to. Either way he tilts his head towards the bed and suggests, “Lay with me?”
James immediately perks up, eyebrows shooting up towards his forehead. “Lay? Me? In bed. With you? I dunno, um, I just- are you sure?”
It’s so unbelievably comical that Regulus can feel the laughter bubbling in his chest, and he feels good enough to actually let it pour out for once. He feels wonderful. “Relax, Potter, you’re just sleeping with me, not sleeping with me.”
James sits up, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “Right. Knew that,” he mutters.
“Not yet, anyway,” Regulus adds under his breath, just loud enough for only James to hear. He whips his head around, his brown eyes wide and obviously very flustered. Regulus leads him to his bed, using more effort than usual to ignore the tangle of nerves forming in his stomach. They are only sleeping, Regulus is not as much as nervous, but instead excited. Having James Potter in his bed, his boyfriend spending the night with him. Younger him would never have believed that this was happening.
“Where do you two think you’re going?” Barty asks suggestively, his voice nothing louder than a soft murmur, just because he seems to be more mindful now that Evan is dozing off in his lap. Pandora and Dorcas both glance up at them, Pandora watches them with an overly interested expression, while Dorcas is looking at them with disapproval.
Regulus flips all of them off, “Piss off.”
They sit across from each other on Regulus’ bed, both dazed yet happier than ever. Regulus locks and silences the curtain, just wanting to talk alone for a bit, away from prying eyes and nosy ears. “What did you think?”
James picks up one of Regulus’ hands, playing with his slender fingers. “About your friends?”
Regulus nods. “I love them, they’re all great.” Regulus didn’t even realize he had been holding his breath until he sighs in relief. “I knew they’d be amazing.” Regulus nods and leans down to kiss James, pulling his hands away from James’ grasp and using them to map out all of James’ body, wanting to memorize every inch of him. He feels James’ hands roaming all over himself, warm and yet making him shiver whenever they slide up under his shirt, or when they grab hold of his waist.
They just fit together. That’s the closest Regulus can get to describing the strange connection that they share. The way their bodies always seem to fit together perfectly, how their hands link together perfectly, or their mouths always seem to go perfectly with each other. Regulus somehow knows that he has a place with James, because with James he has a place that he belongs. No matter what. They have their problems and none of them are just going to go away overnight.
But Regulus is finally going to try, he's not ever giving up James.