Chapter 16
James is nodding along to whatever it is that Peter is saying, until he sees Regulus stand up. Almost as if they were connected, James finds himself standing automatically.
“Bye, Wormy.” he says distractedly.
Peter sighs, “Remember James. No. Snogging.”
James nods, waiting for there to be a bit of distance between him and Regulus. “Could you, um, hide the map? Or make sure Pads doesn’t see it?”
Peter hesitates before groaning, “Fine, but I really don’t want to be a part of this.”
James grins, “Thank you so much, I owe you.”
He doesn’t wait for a response before finally following Regulus. James wants to walk right next to him, but there are surprisingly many people around. It's not necessarily a problem for James, but he isn’t sure how many of those people would tell Sirius. Regulus is taking them through a weirdly empty part of a castle, so finally the corridors are empty enough for James to catch up to Regulus.
“Well, hello there, angel face.” James says as he starts walking next to Regulus’ side.
Regulus sighs, “And here I thought I had finally gotten a break from you.”
James laughs, “Please, I’m irresistible to you.”
“Really?” Regulus questions with a sigh, “How did you possibly gather that?”
James hums, “Because you looked at me and smiled. Then you knew I was following you, yet you still walked to this very empty spot of the castle.”
“I did not smile at you,” Regulus narrows his eyes at James. “And I only looked at you because you were staring at me the entire time I was at breakfast.”
James nods mockingly, “Right. And you led me here because?”
“I could finally get rid of you forever, and nobody would hear you.” Regulus responds in a bored tone, the words somehow very delightful to James’ ears.
James laughs, “I am terrified, Reggie. Absolutely terrified.”
Regulus glares at him again, “Don’t act like I couldn’t.”
“Oh, I believe that you could. Just not to me.”
Regulus scoffs, “I wouldn’t be so confident, Potter. You are extremely annoying.”
James smoothly steps directly in front of Regulus, stopping him from walking any further. “Come on then, darling. Hex me.”
“I'm very tempted.” He pulls out his wand, and James really couldn’t be scared if he tried. It’s not like Regulus isn’t scary sometimes, but James is confident that he wouldn’t do anything, not to James anyways.
Regulus steps closer to James, putting his wand underneath James’ chin. There is barely any distance between the two of them, and James is, once again, finding it hard to breathe with Regulus so close to him.
“You’re gorgeous. Did you know that?” Regulus whispers suddenly, slowly lowering his wand.
James is stunned, and he is miserably trying to come up with some kind of witty response. James has always been showered with compliments, but it just means so much more coming from Regulus.
It feels more genuine, and James can almost believe the words.
James is still at a loss for words, he never would’ve thought that he, of all people, would be rendered speechless because of a simple compliment.
Despite the warmth spreading through James’ chest, he does notice how Regulus is suddenly tense, his posture rigid and eyes avoiding contact with James.
“I’m an idiot,” Regulus shakes his head, “Sorry, just slipped out, I guess. Merlin, how embarrassing.”
“Sorry?” James asks, finally finding his voice, “What are you even sorry for?” Regulus finally looks at James, his face slightly pink and James has the urge to giggle like a child, just because he likes him so much. “Thank you Regulus, I appreciate it more than you could possibly know. And it’s not embarrassing to say nice things, you know.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “It definitely is.”
“No, it’s not.” James refutes
Regulus sighs, “I don’t do that.”
“You don’t do what?”
Regulus glares at him, “Say nice things. You’re insufferable a lot of times, but mainly when I find it difficult to be mean just because your presence is so overwhelmingly positive.”
James grins, “To be fair, I think you’re plenty mean when I’m around. It makes me very happy, actually.”
“Weird,” Regulus says under his breath. “And when I’m nice? Does it make you happy?”
James thinks about it, even though he already knows the answer in the back of his mind. “Well, I think it’s just you actually. Everything that you do makes me happy, like you just simply looked at me this morning, and I swear I thought my day was made. Your presence actually has an overwhelmingly positive effect on my life.”
Regulus breaks into a shy grin, and James feels like his heart grows in his chest. He feels something magnificent every time that Regulus smiles, and whenever James sees it he breaks into the biggest grin, just like he’s doing now.
Maybe he should feel nervous for feeling so deeply for Regulus this soon.
But he hasn’t felt this happy in so long.
There was a point in time when the amount of joy he feels now, felt so unattainable, and he was scared that he would never feel it again.
And he has it now, and he is beginning to feel like himself again. It’s like Regulus was a little piece that James needed to feel alright.
All that he can do is capture Regulus’ lips with his own, even if it’d go against the only advice that he had gotten from Peter. James doesn’t really care if it means that he can feel Regulus’ grin on his lips, and feel the moment it disappears when Regulus kisses him back. Nothing really matters when Regulus’ hands are in his hair, or when he calls James gorgeous, or when he’s nice or mean, or when he’s just simply talking.
So, needless to say, James deepens their kiss, silently deciding that this right here is his favorite place to be. He would thoroughly enjoy staying here with Regulus, just the two of them, all cares and worries completely forgotten when they’re alone.
Regulus pulls away, a dazed look on his face that makes James just want to snog him senseless again.
“Can I show you something?” Regulus asks softly.
“You don’t even need to ask.”
Regulus starts walking and leads him to a small, abandoned classroom. It’s very cozy, with all different kinds of books on the shelves, and a bunch of blankets and pillows on the floor. Regulus walks over to a large circle pillow on the floor and sits on it.
“Did you find this?” James asks, looking around at all the decorations, there’s loads of little trinkets and paintings everywhere.
Regulus shakes his head and picks up a book that was sitting next to him. “This is Pandora’s place she decorated it with her paintings and things that she finds. Everything, besides the books, are hers. She showed the rest of us, and occasionally we all separately come here to be alone.”
James sits next to Regulus, “But you’re not alone today.”
“No,” Regulus sighs, turning the page of his book. “But we are.”
James puts his head in Regulus’ lap, “We. That has a nice ring to it.” Regulus is too engrossed in his book to really acknowledge James, so he just keeps talking.
Like always.
“James and Regulus. Sounds quite pretty together, very…soft. I suppose It just feels very elegant together. Well, your name is elegant, mine is just very normal, very common. You know, I’ve always meant to ask my mum where my name-”
“Potter, I am really trying to not lose my patience here, but I am trying to read.” Regulus huffs out an exasperated sigh.
James groans, “Please, no more calling me ‘Potter’. I think we’ve moved past that nickname.”
Regulus looks down at James with a sharp expression, and lightly taps his face with his book. “Reading requires silence.”
“I don’t do well in silence,” James groans again. “Come on Regulus, we can just talk for a bit, then you can go back to reading.” James puts on the most hopeful, pleading expression that he can muster, “Please?”
“God,” Regulus closes his book harshly and sets it down. “Fine.”
James beams, and even though he wants to talk, he doesn’t have anything to say.
Well, he does.
James has plenty of things that the two of them definitely should talk about. But, James hates talking about important things, just in general. But especially when everything is exceptionally great at the moment.
“Well,” Regulus urges James, “What exactly did you want to talk about?”
James sighs, “Just anything. I want to know everything about you.”
“I’m surprised you don’t,” Regulus mutters under his breath. “I always thought my brother would tell you everything about me, all the bad things.”
“He did sometimes.” James grimaces at memories of Sirius’ poor choice of words. “But, he said lots of good things too. I’d say more good than bad.”
“Well, what did he say?” Regulus asks, biting one side of his cheek in thought.
“He said you were always very organized, that you loved reading, and being-”
“No,” Regulus interrupts. “I want to know the bad things.”
James shakes his head, “I’m not going to tell you that.”
“Why? It’s fine, I don’t care. It’s not like I’ll ever speak to him again.”
James takes his head out of Regulus’ lap, and decides to sit next to him, pulling his knees up. “You can’t say that for sure. It can’t be a for sure thing.” James tells him softly.
Regulus scoffs, “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Yeah,” James nods. “But, now is the time to probably air out some…things? Iron out our little wrinkles?”
Regulus clears his throat, “I don’t think there’s any need to.”
“Regulus. There’s someone who… knows. About me and you.” Regulus nearly snaps his neck to look at James.
“A friend of yours?” he asks quickly, and James hesitantly nods.
“Please,” Regulus continues. “Do not tell me that it’s-”
“It’s Peter.” James grimaces as they say if at the same time. “He wasn’t meant to know, I told him I was with a bloke the night before, and you show up in the Great Hall, with love bites all over your neck. He won’t tell anybody, alright? I trust him.”
“I hope so.” Regulus runs his hand down his face. “I guess I should tell you that one of my friends knows about us.”
“Who?”
“Dorcas.” Regulus responds. “But I trust her as well, and I know that she’d never tell anybody.”
“Dorcas? The same one who talks constantly whenever she’s nervous? Who will tell you her life story whenever she doesn’t know what to say?”
Regulus glares at James, “That happened to you one time in third year. If you ever remind her about it, she’ll murder you.”
James rolls his eyes, “It wasn’t one time in third year, it was the entire time that she sat next to me in Transfiguration.”
“Peter sat next to me in the library, and ranted to me about every trouble in his life. I know more about his fourth year problems, then you probably know about Dorcas.”
James sighs, ”So two horrible secret keepers, are keeping our biggest secrets?”
“Yeah,” Regulus laughs lightly, “I guess so.”
Regulus puts his head in his hands, laughing harder. His laugh makes James laugh, both because it’s a funny laugh, and because James loves to hear it so much.
”Merlin, this is so fucked.” Regulus breathes out in between laughs.
James laughs even harder, “It is, isn’t it!”
The pair laugh for a while, and try their absolute hardest to calm themselves down. Once they finally calm down, they look at each other and it all starts over again.
”We need to talk, that’s what Dorcas told me,” Regulus giggles.
”I know.” James takes a breath, “Peter told me the same.”
Regulus slowly stops laughing, ”But I don’t want to. Not when I feel so…good?”
James grins, “You're happy.”
Regulus starts laughing again, once again putting them through the same situation of uncontrollable laughter. “Yeah. I think I am.”