Chapter 4
I woke up sweating and crying. I jolted up right, not wanting to lay down in case I go back to sleep. It was morning anyway so I didn't need to go back to sleep. I decided to go take a shower so I got up and got my clothes. I went to the bathroom, turned on the shower and waited for it to get hot. As I wait, I look in the mirror and see the hickeys Malfoy so happily left. They were very bright and dark at the same time. I traced my finger along them and imagined them disappearing. Thankfully they did because I wasn't in the mood to get pestered about it.
Anyways, as soon as the shower got hot enough for my liking, I got undressed and stepped in. The hot water hit my back and it felt really nice. I could feel the stress washing away. I wash my hair and my body then shut the water off. I grab my towel and dry off, then get changed into my school outfit. I make sure to look into the mirror, making sure there aren't any hickey's left to cover. Thankfully, there wasn't so I walked out of the bathroom, grabbed my wand and headed to the great hall.
I didn't want to go to the great hall of course. One, Malfoy was going to be there, which he would most likely cause a scene. Two, George knew what was on my neck and I don't know if he has told Fred or not. And last but not least, I need to learn to avoid Fred. I don't want his death to be something used against me and I just don't want to get attached. Fred doesn't need me anyway. Yes, I'm aware how selfish this sounds but like George was saying last night Fred would be better without me. Not without George of course. I need to learn how to think right.
I walk into the great hall, absentmindedly. I spotted Malfoy easily. He is smirking at me from across the room. Well I know I'm sitting with the Gryffindors today. I look towards the Gryffindor table and see George walking towards me.
"He's pissed at Malfoy." George says as he stops in front of me. I know exactly who he's talking about. Great. I don't want Fred to be involved in this.
"I was hoping that you didn't tell him yet."
"When it comes to you and my brother, I'm going to tell him things. Besides, what Malfoy did to you wasn't right." He says, shaking his head.
"Please don't let him do anything. It was my fault anyway and I don't want Fred to get into trouble." Worry creeps through. I don't want Fred getting into trouble.
"It wasn't your fault." Fred's voice came from behind me. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders. I sigh and lay my head on his arm. Grabbing a hold of his arms gently, I say, "It really is though. I shouldn't have provoked him. And I shouldn't have gotten you involved, Fred."
"What do you mean? How is Fred involved?" George asks, confused. He doesn't know that Fred and I kissed.
"Does he not know?" Parker's voice came from the side of me. I sigh thinking how many people actually know about this. Parker, Malfoy, Ethan, Fred, and George kind of know. Also no doubt all of the Slytherins know about last night.
"Nope. To be fair you don't know the whole story either." Parker scoffs and walks over to stand by George. Once she is next to him George puts his arm on her shoulder and I see a blush creeping up her cheeks. Interesting. Hopefully those two get together because they look cute together. I have a thought of marrying Fred but I push that away quickly. Marrying Fred isn't an option.
"Why don't you tell us the whole story then?" Fred whispered in my ear, making me snap out of my thoughts. His breath against my neck made me shiver. I shook my head to get my story straight. I started explaining to them what happened, making up things as I go along because some parts I didn't want to tell him. Them. The only thing that I really lied about was me cuddling with Draco on the couch. When the part about Fred kissing came along George's eyes went really wide. And a mischievous grin crossed his face.
"You know guys I think we are being stared at." I say quietly.
"Let's go sit down." They all nodded. Fred let go of me and we all walked to the Gryffindor table. We all sat down with me sitting next to Fred and Parker sitting next to George. I didn't grab anything to eat. To be honest I was fixing to leave because I felt eyes on me.
"Are you going to eat?" Fred asked, concerned.
"I'm not hungry. I'll see you guys later." I got up and left before anyone could protest. I ran out of the Great Hall so no one could follow me. I stopped running when I got to the entrance hall. I'm not good with running so I was out of breath. I need to remind myself more that I need to stay away from Fred. I'm not going to let any feelings I have towards him get me hurt. I've been hurt a lot anyway and I don't want to get hurt again. Besides it's not like he would like me anyway. He is supposed to like Angelina Johnson.
I start walking to my first class, which today is Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Lupin. Before I could turn the hall Professor Mcgonagall stopped me.
"Miss Wilhite, may I have a word with you?"
"Uh, yes ma'am. Did I do something wrong?" I say, worry creeping up my throat.
"Oh no dear. I just wanted to inform you that your mother has set up a special class for you to attend. It's to practice transforming into your animagus form. It starts tonight." I nod my head, the worry slipping away as fast as it came.
"Ok. What time tonight?"
"8 o'clock. In my office."
"Ok. Thank you Professor." She nods, then walks away leaving me there alone. As soon as I get rid of my shock, I finish the, for once, short walk to my class. I walked into the classroom and the only person there was Professor Lupin. I knew no one was going to be in the classroom because they were all at breakfast. Besides, I wanted to ask Professor Lupin something.
"Miss Wilhite, I believe it is a little too early for you to be in class."
"I'm sorry, Professor. There are just some things I would like to ask you if you don't mind." The words come out without meaning to. He eyes me before responding.
"Of course not. Ask away."
"Um well. The first thing is, I'm curious about if you and my mom were close at all. Or perhaps Sirius was. I don't know much about my mom because she doesn't like to tell me anything."
"I did know your mother. I was not very fond of her though. Despite her being in Gryffindor, she was a very nasty person. No offense to you at all but she was someone you would expect to be in Slytherin. But I believe it was because of her last name that they put her in Gryffindor."
"I kind of expected that. She still isn't the best person in the world. Second, is it true that James Potter and Sirius Black were animagi?" This question I already knew was true. I just wanted to know some more about being an animagus.
"Yes they were and are. Sirius was a dog and James was a stag. They used to get into so much trouble with Mcgonagall with that power." He looked down sadly and I know now that I shouldn't have said anything.
"I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean to-"
"Don't worry. I do miss James a lot. I miss Sirius too, of course but..." He cut me off before I could finish.
"But you think he helped murder James and Lily Potter?" He nods his head. I can see an internal battle inside him. He wants to not believe it but he can't help but believe it. People started walking into the classroom so I sat my stuff down and stood near the far wall. The kids piled in and I started to get uncomfortable. Draco and his little posse decided to stand by me. Meaning I was next to Malfoy. Sadly.
Class starts and Professor Lupin starts talking about boggarts. Hermione appears in the class and gives a better explanation. A boggart basically doesn't have an original form. All it does is turn into the thing you fear the most. Lupin tells us to say the spell, riddikulus, without taking out our wands.
"I already know that spell." I mumbled as everyone else said the spell. Lupin told us to repeat the spell. While the other students were saying the spell, Draco decided to say, "This class is ridiculous." Scoffing and rolling his eyes.
"Do you want me to break your arm?" I mumbled loud enough where Draco could hear me. Before he could answer, Lupin told us to line up and I headed straight to the back. I knew I wasn't going to be able to see my boggart thanks to Harry so I didn't even try to get in line. I lay my head against the wall and closed my eyes.
"I'm surprised you covered them up." Malfoy says beside me.
"I'm not in the mood to talk to you." I kept my eyes closed, not bothering to look at him.
"You never are."
"I talk to you a lot but all that has done is caused me panic attacks."
"Mhm sure."
"I hate you." I breathed out. As soon as I heard class dismissed I opened my eyes and grabbed my stuff. I walked out of the classroom as fast as I could. I felt Draco's presence beside me.
"God. It's always Pottah. Can't even learn anything with him dismissing the class." Draco mumbled beside me.
"You're one to talk. You know that."
"Haha, very funny."
"Ya know I think you and Harry are about even when it comes to classes getting canceled."
"Sure."
"You know I'm right." I laugh then start to walk faster. I have Astronomy next. Without Draco. Which I am extremely grateful for. I seriously want to break his arm. Or both arms. That would be more fun. God I sound evil. I'm not that mean I swear.
As I'm walking I hear two sets of footsteps behind me. I know it's the twins.
"You know guys I'm going to fail my classes this year if I keep skipping." I say jokingly.
"Aw come on. I've skipped almost all of my classes for the past two years and look where I am now." Fred says, trying to convince me to come with him.
"Yeah a detention almost every week and on Filch's hit list." George replies to his brother jokingly.
"Exactly." As much as I would love to hang out with them, I have to keep my plan in place. I cannot get attached to Fred Weasley.
"C'mon Feliz. Please." Fred begged. I have a feeling that if I looked up at Fred right now I wouldn't be able to say no, so I kept my head down.
"I can't Fred. I'm sorry but I can't get into trouble." I start walking faster leaving them, so I don't end up saying yes. I can't let myself get hurt. Not again.
I get to Astronomy about a couple minutes later. I sit near the back where hopefully I won't be called on. The teacher starts talking and I'm only half listening. I don't really care what she's saying anyway. I feel guilty about leaving Fred and George like that but they don't need me there. Also I've always been good with astronomy so I'm not worried. Suddenly, Hermione pops up beside me.
"Hi."
"Hi." Hermione replies.
"Which class did you just come from?" I ask as I see her tuck the time-turner in her robes.
"What do you mean? You just saw me in defense against the dark arts." I rolled my eyes at her comment.
"Mione. I know about the time turner. I'm not an idiot."
"How did you know?" Worry swarms at her features.
"You're not always good at hiding it." I shrug but I mentally smack myself. I shouldn't have said that because I know it's important to her that she makes Mcgonagall proud.
"Are you going to tell anyone?"
"No." She nods her head and starts paying attention to the Professor. I take out paper and start doodling a picture of Hermione. By the end of class my picture was pretty much done. I had given it to Hermione and she said she liked it. I was happy with it, which is a first for me. I don't normally like my drawings. Hermione's face was funny though when she saw the picture. She hadn't realized that I was drawing her. She also scolded me for not paying attention in class but otherwise she said it looked realistic, which again surprised me.
I stalked off to my next class which I'm pretty sure is Transfiguration. I hate that these classes are all over the place. It sucks. I just noticed I've complained about that one too many times. On the way to Transfiguration I got stopped by Filch. He told me that Fred and I had detention with him tonight for the prank we pulled yesterday. Apparently, an anonymous person tipped him off about who pulled the prank. My guess is Draco Malfoy told him about the prank, so next time I see him I'm going to kill him.
I get to class without anyone else stopping me. I sit in the back and take out a piece of paper and a muggle pencil. I start drawing the shape of two people. At this point I'm just probably going to draw Fred and George. Class started and I learned that we are just learning the correct wand movements for the "Duro" spell and what it does. I already knew the spell so I continued my drawing.
At the end of class, Mcgonagall asks me to stay behind, so I wait till everyone leaves. Once everyone leaves I walk up to Mcgonagall's desk.
"You wanted to see me, Professor?" I ask as the last student leaves.
"Yes. I was made aware that you had detention tonight, so we are practicing your power right now." I nodded my head, then set my stuff down on a desk.
"Today I just want to see how well and how long you can hold your animagus form. You may start." I nod my head, then imagine myself transforming into a giant white wolf. Soon I transformed into a wolf and to be honest it kinda freaked me out. It felt weird being a wolf. I was about 7 feet, which is bigger than a normal wolf.
I held my form till I got tired, which was about 30 minutes, then turned back to normal. I was panting a little bit. All I got was a smile from Mcgonagall.
"You did better than I thought you would. You are dismissed for lunch. Tomorrow we will work on you getting stronger."
"Thank you, Professor." She nods her head as I grab my stuff and walk out. Despite my stomach's protests, I head to my dorm for some rest. After that lesson I might just skip potions and Arithmancy today. I don't even want to do Arithmancy anyway. It's going to hurt my brain and frankly I don't care about that subject.
I get to my dorm a few minutes later and plop down on my bed. I grab my pillow and bury my face in it. I was close to falling asleep when I heard a slight knock on the door frame. I look up and see Draco at the door holding a letter in his hand.
"What, Draco?" I say, irritated.
"Did you just call me by my name?" I shut my eyes, realizing my mistake. I haven't called him Draco since the night we cuddled together on the couch.
"No." I say quickly.
"Yes you did. But anyway, one of your letters was dropped off in my room." He smirks at me as I get up and walk up to him.
"Can I have it?" I mutter.
"Not until you admit that you said my name." A smirk played across his face. God I wish I could smack him. Just wiping that smirk off his face would give me pleasure.
"Fine. I said your name. Happy." He hands me the letter without another word and walks away, but the expression on his face seemed disappointed. Like he wanted me to argue with him. I shake off the feeling and take a look at the letter in my hand. I open it and it reads:
Dear Felicity,
I know it is kind of early but I am writing this to inform you that you are going to be spending Christmas break with the Malfoy's. Me and the Malfoy's have something to discuss with you and their son Draco Malfoy. With you being a Slytherin, I hope you know him by now. I do hope you and him are friends. If not, you need to become friends with him before coming to the Malfoy's.
Love, Mother.
I sighed and put the letter in my pocket. I walk over to Draco's dorm and knock on the dorm. The door opens to reveal Draco without his shirt on.
"Can you please put a shirt on? I need to talk to you." I say, forcing myself not to blush. I can't help but look. He is very lean and pale. Like he hasn't seen the sun. But despite being so lean, he has some muscle to him. He is attractive in that sense.
"Nah. I see your face getting red and I want to keep it that way." He smirks, making me push away any thoughts of him being attractive.
"I hate you. You know that." His smirk grows wider.
"You've said it a couple of times. Anyway, come in." He opens the door and allows me to walk in. He had his own room which was surprisingly clean. His room was filled with anything and everything that had to do with Slytherin. Draco plopped on his bed and stared at me, waiting for me to talk.
"So um... about the letter. I think you should read it." I take the letter out of my pocket and hand it to him. He read it rather quickly and when he looked up at me his face was more pale than usual.
"Your mother must be crazy if she thinks I would ever be friends with you." He says, no hints of joking at all.
"I was thinking the same thing. Do you have any idea why she would want us to be friends?"
"Sadly only one thing comes to mind." His expression shows visible disgust. Like he's revolted at his own idea.
"What?"
"An arranged marriage." I gulp. There is no way we would ever get married.
"I seriously doubt that. There is no doubt that your parents know that I am a half-blood. They would never agree to that." I try to push the thought away but the more I think about it the more I can think of the reasons my mother would want me to marry him.
"Yeah you're right. I just hope I'm wrong. I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a slut like you."
"Just when I thought I could see the civilized side of you." I turn around and walk out of the room leaving him behind. I walk to my room and shut the door. I walk over to my bed and lay down. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I wake up and look up at the clock. It's about dinner time so I get up and get changed then head to the great hall. I sit with Parker at the Gryffindor table. She was sitting next to George, laughing at every joke he would make. They are really cute together. I sigh and look down at my empty plate. Despite what I felt earlier, I have no appetite anymore.
"Where were you all day?" Fred's voice appeared from beside me.
"I wasn't feeling good, so I decided to stay in my dorm. I'm really sorry that I didn't come with you and George earlier. I wasn't feeling up to it." I lie.
"It's fine. I wish you could've seen the look on some of those kids' faces. It was hilarious."
"I forgot to tell you. Me and you have detention tonight. Somehow George was never caught so it's just me and you." He nods his head. George smirks, making me take back my earlier thoughts. He probably tipped off Filch. Great.
"Good thing I like hanging out with you." A blush creeps up to my cheeks.
"Why aren't you eating?" Fred asked, concerned.
"I'm not hungry." I shrug.
"You haven't eaten all day."
"I'm just not I guess." I shrug again, trying to hint to him to drop it.
"I have an idea. Come on." He grabs my hand and pulls me up. He waves bye to the group and leads me out of the great hall, to the entrance hall and down the way to the dungeons. We stop in front of a painting of a fruit bowl.
"Tickle the pear." Fred says unexpectedly. I look at him confused.
"What?"
"Tickle the pear, that's how the painting opens." He smiles at me. I do as he said hesitantly, thinking he's just trying to humiliate me or something. Suddenly the painting opens and a tunnel is revealed. Fred takes my hand and leads me through the tunnel into a large room, which I assume is the kitchen. A little house elf that looks like Dobby comes up to Fred and I.
"Mr. Weasley, what can I get for you today?" The house elf says.
"Dobby. I said you could call me Fred. And just some biscuits for me and my friend here. Thank you." The little elf nodded his head and walked away. My eyes went wide when he called the house elf Dobby. I had always wanted to meet Dobby. He always seemed so sweet. In the corner of the room I could hear crying. I look over and see a tiny elf sitting on a stool crying. While Fred started talking to another house elf I walked over to the elf and sat in front of her.
"Hi." I whisper, trying not to startle the elf.
"Hello miss." Her voice was full of sorrow and sadness. It hurts seeing someone or something else like this.
"What's your name?"
"Winky, miss." I have read about Winky before. She was never featured in the movies. Probably due to her drinking problems so I don't know much about her. I do know why she fell into depression though.
"Can I show you something?"
"Yes miss." I pulled up my sleeves to where my scars showed and let her examine my arm.
"What happened, miss?" She asks, concerned.
"Well, I'm kinda like you. In a way. Instead of drinking I cope by cutting. Or hurting myself. It's not any better. I'm not here to tell you to switch to hurting yourself. I just want to let you know that there are people and other house elves who would help you."
"Like who, miss?"
"Well. Like me. I'm always open to talk. There's a ghost in one of the girls restrooms who's a really good listener. Her name is Myrtle Elizabeth. And I know Dobby would help you."
"You are a kind person, despite being in Slytherin. Most Slytherins are mean to Winky." I nod my head. I know that quite well.
"Most of the Slytherins are mean in general. Can I give you a hug? You seem like you need one." She nods and I pull her into a short hug. I pull away and I see she has tears in her eyes again.
"Thank you for your kindness miss, but I am hopeless."
"Nobody's hopeless. I know it just doesn't go away, but it will get better." She nods and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I stand up and wave bye to Winky because I know Fred is ready for me to go. I walk away and say nothing to Fred as we sit down at a table. I grab a cookie out of the cookie box and start slowly eating it.
"How was your talk with Winky?"
"She seems sweet. She just needs some help." I pulled down my sleeve, remembering I still had them pulled up.
"I'm guessing you showed her your scars?" He looks down at my arms, avoiding my eyes.
"Yeah. Can I ask you something?"
"You just did." He jokes.
"OK, can I ask you two questions?"
"Sure. That was one." He jokes again, making me roll my eyes.
"Why are you protective of me? I mean I don't know if that's how you normally are but I'm just curious if that's how you are or not. I mean if it isn't you really have no reason to be." I say quickly, suddenly feeling embarrassed of myself.
"Would you think I was joking if I said I fancy you?" My jaw completely dropped. This wasn't supposed to happen. Oh lord.
"What?" My throat feels like it's gone tight. He can't like me.
"I fancy you. But you probably don't like me back so forget I said anything."
"I like you too. It's just... I have to go. I'm sorry." I get up and walk out of the kitchen, leaving him there. I shouldn't have left like that but I didn't know how to continue. And this is what I'm good at. Running from my problems. I walk the rest of the way to my dorm. Thankfully, Parker was there.
"I need to talk to you. Is Parkinson around?" I say quickly, trying to push down the worry in my throat.
"One, why. Two, no. She's planning on going on a snogging date with someone." She rolled her eyes and I kind of laughed. I sat on her bed and took a deep breath.
"Fred said he fancies me."
"What! Felicity! That's great! But wait...Ohhh." She says as realization hits her. Fred dies. I can't let him be in love with me.
"Yeah. I mean I like him too. In a way but there's something else."
"What?"
"I got a letter today from my DR mom and I have a feeling she wants to set me up in an arranged marriage with Malfoy."
"His parents wouldn't allow that. And I won't allow it after what he did to you." She said, trying to convince me it won't happen. Though it sounded like she was more trying to convince herself.
"Park. You used to research arranged marriages for your books. You know if there is one they are very hard to get out of."
"Yeah but not impossible. Also what did I tell you about that nickname?"
"What else am I supposed to call you? Ker?"
"Never mind, I prefer Park." I laughed and shook my head. I walked over to my bed and started playing around with some spells that I knew. There was a knock on the door so I get up and answer it. I open the door to find Malfoy.
"What?" I say irritated.
"I just wanted to let you know, since you are a new slytherin, that we have parties every Saturday. Just to let you know. It's gonna be a nice place for you to be a slut for the night, Wilhite." Parker pushes me out of the way and punches Malfoy right in the jaw.
"Call her a slut again. I dare you." She had her wand pointed at him, ready to attack if he said it again. "Also tell your slut of a girlfriend that if she fucked someone she isn't allowed in our dorm. We don't want our dorm to stink of slut in the morning." My jaw dropped. I have never heard her get this mean. Malfoy nodded and walked away holding his jaw. Parker turned to me with a smile on her face.
"Welp. That's one down. One to go." She shrugs.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side." We both laughed. Parker walked to her bed, while I shut the door and locked it. I walked to my bed and plopped down, laughing.
"Why are you laughing?"
"The...look on...his f-face." I said in between laughs. Parker started cracking up laughing too. We both calmed down about the same time and I muttered a thanks for having my back.
"You're welcome. I know you'd do the same for me."
"Always. Can I ask you something?"
"Hm?"
"Do you like George?"
"Yeah but please don't judge."
"I like the other one, come on. I'm not going to judge."
"You know if we both married them we would be sisters."
"We would. Wouldn't we." I smiled. That was the thought I had earlier. Anyway, I got up, grabbed my pj's and walked over to the bathroom. I changed quickly, then put up my clothes and got into bed. Falling asleep rather quickly.
Fred and I were walking hand in hand smiling to each other. I look down and there is a little girl with green eyes and red hair, holding my hand. She looks a lot like Fred. I picked her up and she started giggling. I looked over at Fred and he was making funny faces at her. All of a sudden a dark shadow swooped over Fred. I tried to reach out to him and grab him but nothing was there. Fred and the darkness were replaced by Draco. He was standing by me. I was confused as to why he was there but also a little happy.
I felt something grab my leg, so I turned around and saw a little boy who looked like Draco. Draco picks him up and then he pulls me into a hug. He whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry that he had to die." I pull away and look to the side. There Fred was standing with a little girl who had blonde and a bit of brown hair kind of like Parker's but the other way around. They were both smiling at me.
"I'm sorry that they both did. It's my fault I should have protected them and you." Draco whispered in my ear. I turned to look at him. He looked like he was about to cry, which was unusual for me to see. And like when I saw half-blood prince it broke my heart. I pulled him into a hug and started crying. Then I woke up.
I looked at the clock and it said ten PM. I remembered I had detention so I quickly changed into some real clothes and rushed out the door. I was cursing to myself the whole way there. I am late and I know I'm going to get another detention.
I get to Filch's office a couple minutes later. He was waiting for me so he could leave. And I was right, I have another detention tomorrow for being late. He made me sit next to Fred and start cleaning trophies.
"I thought I scared you off. Glad to know we are on good terms." Fred joked.
"We weren't ever on bad terms." I say quietly, no hint of joking in it.
"Man. I kinda wish we were. I had this whole gesture planned out if we weren't." I rolled my eyes and laughed a little.
"You know you keep rolling your eyes and you're gonna get them stuck back there forever."
"I like rolling my eyes. It shows when I'm annoyed, which is quite often. And they haven't got stuck yet."
"Ok. Ok. Point proven." He says, lifting his hands in mock surrender.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I just don't know how to feel right now and I don't want to get hurt again."
"It's fine really." Filch came in before I could protest telling us we could leave. We walked away from the trophy case and stopped near the grand staircase.
"It's really not fine. I shouldn't have ran out on you like that."
"Look it's fine I promise."
"Ok." I look up at him. I hesitate for a second then jump up and give him a quick kiss on the lips.
"There's my apology. Goodnight Fred." Before I could leave he pulls me towards him and kisses me a little longer than I had kissed him. He pulls away, then says goodnight. I walk to my dorm smiling like crazy. I end up going to sleep and having no nightmares the rest of the night.