Begin again

Leah sat on the bench, arms crossed tightly over her chest, her Arsenal coat zipped up to her chin to fight off the biting cold. It was the first match back since her injury, a massive game against Chelsea, and she was meant to be focusing on tactics, on formations -on anything other than the fact that she couldn’t be out there. But her eyes kept finding Alessia.

She looked good. Not just in the way she played, though she was brilliant -holding up play, linking passes, making smart runs- but in general. Her hair was damp from the pre-match shower, a few strands clinging to her forehead. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and her expression was set, focused, determined. She was beautiful.

Leah exhaled slowly, her breath misting in the air.

They were something, right? They kissed, went on dates, had sex. Did couple things. But neither of them had asked the question. The girlfriend question. Leah wanted to. She could do it, right now if she wanted to. But a part of her held back, waiting. She wanted Alessia to ask her, because that would mean Alessia was ready. That she wasn’t hesitant, or ashamed, or second-guessing.

She didn’t realise how deep in thought she was until the shrill sound of the referee’s whistle cut through the air, and then her heart stopped. Alessia was on the ground. Clutching her face. Leah was on her feet instantly, instincts taking over, ready to run to her. But before she could get more than a step forward, a firm hand grabbed her arm.

“Leah, you can’t.”

Lotte.

Leah barely heard her. “Let go.”

“You can’t,” Lotte said again, her grip tightening. “You’re not allowed on the pitch.”

Leah knew that. Rational Leah knew that. But she wasn’t thinking rationally right now. Not when Alessia was curled up on the pitch, surrounded by teammates and medics.

“I need to-“

Then Alessia moved. Leah froze as she watched her push herself up, revealing her face. That’s when she saw the blood. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough. A trickle from her nose, smeared on her cheek from where she’d wiped at it.

Leah’s stomach lurched.

She barely registered the rest of the team crowding around Alessia, barely heard the ref speaking to the Chelsea player responsible. She was locked on her. The way Alessia winced as she touched her nose. The way she shook her head, insisting she was fine, even though Leah could tell from here that she wasn’t.

“She’s okay,” Lotte murmured beside her, though her voice was softer now, understanding.

Leah swallowed hard, jaw clenched.

Alessia was being helped to her feet now, a medic pressing a tissue to her nose, checking for more damage. She nodded along to whatever was being said, before finally, finally, looking toward the bench.

Their eyes met.

Leah exhaled sharply, the tension in her chest loosening just a fraction. Alessia gave her the smallest, reassuring nod. Leah didn’t nod back -she just held her gaze, silently telling her that if alessia wasn’t in her arms within the next ten seconds, she may lose it.

As soon as the medics led Alessia toward the bench, Leah was there. She didn’t hesitate, immediately wrapping her arms around Alessia’s waist as she sits, pulling her in close. She nuzzles her nose in her cheek, the cold skin a stark contrast to the warmth radiating from Alessia’s body, and pressed a soft, discreet kiss there.

“Jesus, Less,” she muttered, voice barely above a whisper. “You scared the life out of me.”

Alessia exhaled a small laugh, though it ended in a wince as the medics jostled her nose. Leah’s grip tightened instinctively, her eyes flickering between Alessia’s face and the medics’ hands, full of questions she wasn’t sure how to ask yet.

“I’m okay,” Alessia reassured her, reaching down to rest her hand on Leah’s arm, which was still wrapped firmly around her waist. She gave a soft squeeze, a silent I’m here. I’m fine.

Leah still wasn’t convinced.

“You sure?” she pressed, watching as the medics dabbed at Alessia’s nose with gauze. “You’re still bleeding-“

“It’s stopped mostly,” Alessia said. “Just a bit sore.”

Leah’s gaze darkened as one of the medics pressed a little too hard, making Alessia flinch.

“Oi,” Leah snapped. “Be careful, will you?”

The medic shot her a look, but Leah didn’t care. She glared right back, her hand flexing against Alessia’s hip as if to shield her from any further pain.

Alessia just smiled, amused by Leah’s protectiveness. “They’re just doing their job.”

“Yeah, well, they can do it gently,” Leah muttered.

Eventually, after a few more pokes and prods, it was determined that Alessia’s nose wasn’t broken -just sore and a little swollen.

“You’re good to go back on,” the medic told her, pulling off his gloves.

Leah’s head snapped up. “What? No.”

Alessia sighed, already expecting this reaction. “Leah-“

“No way, Less,” Leah argued, pulling her even closer. “What if you get smacked again? What if it does break? You just came off bleeding.”

“I’ll be fine,” Alessia soothed, and Leah could tell she was trying not to smile at her fussing.

“No, you won’t-“

“Darling.”

The nickname shut Leah up immediately. Alessia’s voice was soft, reassuring, and when Leah looked up at her, she saw nothing but warmth in her eyes.

Leah exhaled heavily, rubbing a hand down her face. “I hate this.”

“I know,” Alessia murmured, squeezing Leah’s thigh in comfort. “But I promise I’ll be careful.”

Leah still wasn’t happy about it, but she could see the determination in Alessia’s eyes. There was no changing her mind. And so, with a reluctant sigh, she released her grip just enough to let Alessia stand. “Fine. But if you get hurt again, I’m dragging you off myself.”

Alessia grinned. “Noted.”

She squeezed Leah’s thigh one last time before jogging back onto the pitch. The cheers from the crowd made Leah smile, but what made her really smile was the way Alessia glanced back at her just before taking her position, a small wink sent her way.

And when Alessia scored just after halftime, sprinting toward the corner flag, arms wide in celebration, Leah’s heart swelled with pride. She jumped to her feet, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s my girl,” she murmured under her breath, unable to stop herself.

And maybe she wasn’t officially her girl yet.

But soon.

Leah didn’t even wait for the final whistle to finish echoing through the stadium before she was moving.

She could technically go on the pitch now that the game was over, and she wasn’t about to waste any time. She weaved through a few staff members, barely registering their congratulations, her eyes locked on one person.

Alessia was buzzing, practically vibrating with adrenaline as she turned and spotted Leah making a beeline for her. She barely had time to react before Leah’s arms were around her, squeezing her tight.

“You were brilliant,” Leah murmured against her shoulder, holding on as if she never wanted to let go.

Alessia laughed, still breathless from the match. “Did you see that goal?”

Leah pulled back just enough to squeeze Alessia’s cheeks between her palms, grinning fondly as leaned up on her toes to press a kiss to her slightly sweaty forehead. “Yeah, yeah, you scored a screamer -what’s new?”

Alessia flushed under her touch, but her grin was wide and bright, her hands sliding down Leah’s arms until she found her wrists. She squeezed them softly, her thumb brushing against the skin there. Leah felt her heart skip a beat, but before she could say anything, Alessia was turning away, heading towards Kyra.

Leah watched her go, shaking her head with a smile before feeling a hand press against her back. She turned to find Beth grinning at her.

“Come here, you,” Beth said, wrapping her up in a hug.

Leah laughed, hugging her back just as tightly. And just like she had with Alessia, when she pulled away, she cupped Beth’s cheeks and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

Beth groaned, swatting at her hands. “Ugh, you’re getting soft in your old age.”

“Piss off,” Leah shot back, but she was still smiling. After going around the pitch, taking photos, and signing shirts for the fans, the team finally headed back inside.

The moment Alessia stepped into the changing room, she immediately made her way toward Leah, wrapping her arms around her once more. Leah exhaled, smiling into the embrace as she nestled her face into Alessia’s neck. Her hands slipped beneath the hem of Alessia’s jersey, pressing against the bare skin at the small of her back as she traced soft, lazy circles there. It was grounding, comforting.

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, until-

“Oi!” Kyra’s loud voice echoed through the changing room. “Are you two gonna shag right here, or-?”

Leah groaned, already bracing herself as she felt multiple sets of eyes suddenly on them, and Alessia, who had been perfectly content in her arms, stiffened slightly. She didn’t miss the way Alessia’s shoulders tensed, or how her fingers curled just a little against Leah’s back.

Her stomach sank for a brief moment, a tiny, irrational voice in the back of her mind whispering that Alessia was about to step away, about to laugh it off, about to say something like Oh, we’re just friends!

But then-

Alessia turned her head towards Kyra, raising an eyebrow.

“You’ve got a big mouth, Cooney-Cross,” she remarked, before launching herself at her.

Kyra barely had time to react before Alessia tackled her to the floor, the entire room erupting into laughter.:Leah let out a relieved breath, the tension in her chest disappearing just as quickly as it had come. She leaned against the wall, watching as Alessia and Kyra wrestled on the floor, grinning to herself.

Yeah.

She’d wait as long as Alessia needed.