Decision
The next day , Alessia did exactly as she promised. She was normal. When Leah offered to drive her to training, she said yes. When Leah asked to partner with her for drills, she agreed without hesitation. And when Leah asked about a movie night, she didn’t even pretend to think about it before nodding.
It was fine. Easy, even. Because if she just acted normal, if she just forced herself to behave like she always had, then surely, eventually, this whole thing would go away.
And it worked.
Mostly.
Training went by without a hitch. She and Leah were back to how they always were, teasing and competitive, their movements almost second nature when paired together. The tension she’d felt before was still there, buried deep under the surface, but it wasn’t overwhelming. It was manageable. She could do this.
And then they got home, ate dinner, and settled in for their movie night.
Like always, Leah picked the films. Like always, she talked all the way through them.
And, like always, she stretched out on the couch, throwing her legs over Alessia’s lap.
And it was fine. Better than fine. Because Alessia was fine. She was normal.
And then…
Then Leah fell asleep.
And not just asleep, but asleep on her.
Her head was on one of the decorative cushions, upper body stretched out along the couch, but her legs, from thighs to calves, were draped across Alessia like shea blanket.
The movie had ended, and she didn’t have her phone. She had nothing to do but stare. She told herself to move; to shift her legs, wake Leah up, get out while she still could. But she didn’t. Instead, she just sat there, heart hammering, breathing slow and shallow. And she looked.
Took her in. Her features were soft in sleep, relaxed, peaceful. Her lips, slightly parted, breath steady. Her arm, tucked beneath her head, fingers curled slightly against the cushion. She looked…different like this. Softer. More vulnerable.
Alessia’s gaze flickered down to where her hands rested on Leah’s legs. To the warmth beneath her fingertips. To the weight of her, heavy and grounding and entirely too much all at once. She swallowed hard. She needed to move. She had to. But she didn’t. She just sat there. Heart racing. Head spinning.
And realised, with absolute certainty-
She was not okay.
She managed to make herself move eventually. Hands trembling, heart racing, she eased herself out from beneath Leah, freezing midway through when Leah stirred. Thankfully, she didn’t wake up. She simply curled up on her side, tucking one of her hands beneath her cheek before stilling again. Alessia forced herself to ignore how cute she looked; how much she wanted to reach out and tuck the hair that was falling in her face back behind her ear as she finally makes it to her feet.
A part of her knows she could probably wake Leah up. Tell her that the movie was done at that they should both probably head to bed. The old her would have probably carried her to bed. She was strong enough, and Leah was smaller than she was, so it would be easy. But there were way too many reasons to name that stopped her from doing that. Instead, she sends the sleeping blonde one last look before booking it as fast as she could towards her room. The door closes behind her a little harder than she meant it to, and she leaned back against it, eyes closed as she tried to stop her heart from beating out of her chest.
It was fine. She was fine.
Except, it wasn’t fine. This whole entire thing is getting out of hand and she had to do something about it. A week ago, telling Leah about her…feelings was something she never thought would be possible. It absolutely terrified her, admitting out loud that she liked a girl. Liked Leah. But now, it felt like the only option. She needed to tell Leah. Needed Leah to tell her she didn’t feel the same, to reject her before she absolutely lost her mind. And then, once that happened, she’d move out. Find her own place, and she could finally focus on why she game to London. Football. Arsenal, and nothing else.