Sirius
Personally, Sirius thought the first day was rather pleasant.
He hadn’t lied to Harry— he really was scared of Remus’ wrath— so he spent most of the day with Harry and Ron and left the older kids with Remus.
It was wonderful. He suspected that things might get a bit more complicated when Neville was added to the mix, but for now, it was almost peaceful.
Harry and Ron didn’t require much— an occasional bite of food, a bit of entertainment, some banter between lads (Sirius marvelled at how much easier it was to talk to babies than to his coworker). Sirius put them down for naps during the worst of the afternoon heat and ended up falling asleep, too, until a frenzied knock on the door shocked him awake.
He sat up, groggy and disoriented, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.
Harry startled at Sirius’ quick movement and his chin began to wobble.
“No, no, no,” Sirius whispered. “You’ve been so good for me all day, Harold. Please don’t start now.”
Harry let out a howl, face glowing red.
Sirius scooped him up and threw the door open, “Thanks a lot, Remus—”
The sight of Remus stopped him in his tracks. Even Harry stopped crying, eyes moving from Sirius to Remus in anticipation.
While at Hogwarts, James liked to say that Sirius saw Remus through rose colored glasses. Remus was a terrible conversationalist? Sirius didn’t notice. Remus wore the same clothes for two weeks straight? Sirius didn’t care. Remus had the temperament of the giant squid that lived underneath the Black Lake? Sirius proudly and graciously ignored it.
He couldn’t do that now.
Remus looked awful. His hair was damp with sweat, droplets beading on his forehead, and his cheeks were flushed with anger.
The four older kids stood silently behind him in guilty punishment.
“Lily and Molly will be here in ten minutes,” Remus said in a dangerously calm voice, “and I need five seconds to myself."
“What?” A laugh bubbled up from Sirius’ throat.
Remus’ eyes blazed. “Do your job.”
He took off down the hallway, and Sirius stared at the kids in front of him.
Missy wrinkled her nose, giving Sirius a once over. “I don’t like you,” she said primly. “You have pictures on your skin, like a book.”
Sirius found himself at a loss for words. He lifted his elbow so they could see the tattoos etched onto his forearm. “You might be right, Missy. I am kind of like a book.”
George jumped to grab Sirius’ forearm, dangling like a trapeze artist over the hardwood floor. “Why’s this tattoo lighter than the others?”
Sirius quickly lifted his arm, and George shrieked as he fell through the air. Sirius caught him upside down at the last moment. “It’s a stick and poke. Sounds like you and your brother, doesn't it? I'd say you're Stick.” Sirius kicked at Fred, who was trying to hide behind Percy. “And you’re Poke.”
Percy put a protective hand on Fred’s shoulder. “Are you really going to send us away on your motorbike?”
Sirius’ mouth parted in amusement. Merlin, Moony.
He bent to Percy’s height and whispered, “Are you going to behave?”
Percy nodded his head quickly.
Sirius straightened. “Then no, I won’t. For now.” He readjusted George again, Harry still in the other arm, and cocked his head at Missy and Percy. “Well, come on! Your mothers will be here soon!”
With George still lolling around upside down, Fred burning with envy, Harry on the verge of tears, and Missy and Percy shooting each other worried looks, Sirius led his little parade down the stairs.
Lily waited in the kitchen, face splitting into a smile when she saw them. She immediately reached for Harry. “Oh, love, you feel very hot. Did you bring them outside at all, Sirius? The river might be good for the heat.”
“Tomorrow,” Sirius assured her. He whipped his head around. “Fred! George! Percy! Your mum’s here!”
Sirius set George down on the floor, and he took off like a rocket to grab onto his mother's robes. "Mum! Mum! The tattoo man carried me upside down—"
"That's very good, George. Let's go get Ron." Molly took George's hand, blatantly ignoring Percy's urgent attempt to keep her attention.
Sirius caught Percy's glance, and he pressed a finger to his lips. He mimed revving a motorbike engine and Percy went white.
“Hey,” Lily touched Sirius’ shoulder. “How was it?”
Sirius shrugged. “Great. No problems.”
Lily switched Harry to her other hip. “How was Remus? Where is Remus?”
“Well…” Sirius clicked his teeth. “In all honesty, I think he’s vomiting right now.”
Lily made a sorry sound in her throat. “Oh no. I hope Harry wasn’t the problem?”
“Not a chance,” Sirius and Harry shared a grin. “I think it was the older ones.”
As if she’d been summoned, Missy appeared at Sirius’ elbow. “Just to let you know,” she said, voice shaking, “kids are not allowed on motorbikes. Especially without helmets. You would get in big trouble. Arrested, even.”
Lily gave a small laugh, turning to Sirius. “You’re letting them on your motorbike?”
“No, Remus told them I’d send them away on it—helmetless, I guess— if they kept misbehaving. And don’t test me, Missy. I. Will!” Sirius jabbed a finger at Missy’s forehead.
Missy’s mouth dropped in horror, and she scuttled around Sirius to her mother, who had just opened the front door.
“Don’t tell your mum I said that!” Sirius shouted after her, and Emmeline rolled her eyes.
“Well, I’m off,” Lily said, still smiling. “You’re welcome to stay over tonight after you debrief with Remus.”
“Lily, wait, no!” Sirius nipped at her heels as she made her way to the door. “Can’t I just come with you now? Please?”
Lily gently pushed him away. “No. Talk it out with him, find out why he’s vomiting in Effie’s bathroom.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Sirius. Talk to him.”
Sirius sighed. “You know, you sound a lot like your husband.”
“Thank you,” Lily grinned. “There he is now. Sirius, talk.”