Chapter 9
Sirius POV
He still couldn't fall asleep. He tossed and turned till James and Peter came back. He watched them get ready for bed, looking away when they changed, he's not a pervert. Long after they went to bed he was still awake, listening to Peter and James snoring.
He shut his eyes begging his body to sleep. His mind couldn't stop going back to what Lily said. What had Remus been through? Does it have to do with the scars? The only way he's going to get answers is from Remus and he's not going to force Remus to tell him. He knows if someone did that to him he would be pissed. James and his parents let him tell them on his own time, something he appreciates every day.
He will just make sure Remus knows he is here if he wants to talk. That's all he can do.
"Stop." Sirius' eyes shot open and darted towards Remus' bed next to him.
"Please, stop," Remus begged.
Without thinking twice he shot up and shoved Remus' bed curtains open. He scanned the area for anything but saw nothing except an asleep Remus. His eyes were clenched closed and sweat was dripping down his forehead.
Suddenly his body jerked, startling Sirius and making him jump back in surprise.
"Please," Remus begged once again. He was clearly having a nightmare and unsure of what exactly to do, he reached down and gently shook Remus's arm.
"Remus." No response, so he shook harder. "Remus."
Remus suddenly shot up in his bed, panting loudly. Sirius stepped back a bit giving him room but kept his hand on his arm. "Are you okay? You were having a nightmare." He whispered.
Now that Remus was sitting up the moonlight coming from the window perfectly hit his face. It shines on the sweat on his forehead and the tear streaks on his cheeks he hadn't noticed before.
Remus' breathing calmed a bit before he responded, "Sorry." He gasped. He sat up and turned, pulling his legs over the side of his bed, "I didn't mean to wake you. You can go back to bed."
Hesitantly he sat down next to Remus making sure to leave distance between them, "You don't need to apologize and I wasn't asleep, I haven't been able to sleep." Remus nodded looking down at the ground. "I get them too." He offered.
Remus' eyes shot up to his. The moonlight brought out the gold flecks you wouldn't normally notice unless you were looking for it. "I get them too." He repeatedly looked into Remus' golden eyes.
Neither looks away for a minute, Sirius uses this time to admire Remus with his freckles and sharp cheekbones.
Remus looks away first, back down at his feet.
Sirius takes in a deep breath and continues, "I was disowned the summer before 6th year. Part of me was relieved but the other wished to have different parents. My parents are very rich and have awful views. Their racist, homophobic, and every other phobic u can think of. I never agreed with them, I was always a troubled child. I wore leather, got piercings, and band posters in my room, not only because I liked it but because I knew it pissed them off." He let out a humorless laugh.
"Their punishments always varied. Sometimes it was a slap, others it was a beating or being locked up in my room for days with no food. It always depended on their mood. The night I left, at dinner, my brother told them he was dating a girl, and when they heard who it was they started yelling at him. He was always the perfect one, he followed their rules and did nothing wrong. So when he told them this they were not happy. I could tell it wasn't going to end well, so before they could do anything more than yell, I announced I was gay."
"I shouted it from my seat hoping to take the heat off of my brother. It worked. The next thing I knew, my father's cane was smacked against my face. Let's just say, in the end, I hobbled up to my room, grabbed only by necessity then went to leave. Before I left, I begged my brother to come with me, but he refused." He stopped to take a deep breath, "I tried and tried but he still wouldn't come, so I left. I knew I couldn't stay there another day. When I left I tried to make it to James as fast as I could before I passed out. In the end, I made it and the Potters took me in."
"I would be nothing without them." Sirius looked up from his own hands, towards Remus and this time Remus was looking back, "I still have nightmares about being home with them and leaving my brother. I feel guilty even though I know I tried."
Remus started for a moment, "I'm sorry you went through that." He whispered. Slowly Remus's hand came up to his cheek and he felt him slide his thumb across it whipping tears he didn't know had fallen. He rested his hand there for a second before lowering it.
Sirius smiled sheepishly, "It's not your fault and I'm glad I left."
"Does your brother go here?" Remus asked.
"No," he lied, "my parents put him in another school." He wasn't sure why he lied, he just did.
Remus nodded, "I know it's not my fault but, I'm still sorry that sucks…family sucks." Remus laughed humorlessly.
Sirius nodded, "You don't have to but if you ever want to talk I'm here, okay?" Remus had a small smile on his face and nodded.
"Thank you."
"Now, Remu, do you want to go to bed or talk for a little while?" Talking always helped him calm down and go back to sleep, maybe it would do the same for him.
Remus laughed, "What did you just call me?"
That was the exact effect he was hoping for, "Remu. See Remus is plural so a single one is Remu. You are a single Remu."
Remus laughed again, throwing his head back, showing his long neck. His Adams able bobbed down the smooth skin.
God, he wanted to kiss it.
When he stopped laughing he scooched back so he was sitting against his bed frame. He tapped the spot next to him inviting Sirius to join him. He moved quickly, probably too quickly, to sit next to him. The bed wasn't that big so they sat shoulder to shoulder.
"I've been meaning to ask, where did you guys get your nicknames from?"
"Oh!" Sirius smiled, happy to tell these memories, "Well whenever I went to James' I hated sleeping alone. I would always go into my bed but every night around 12 I would end up sneaking into James' room and crawling into his bed next to him. The next morning he would always be confused as to when I came in and how he didn't wake up. I was very quiet when walking, I think it came from years of sneaking across the hall to my brother's room." He sighed.
"Anyways, he came up with the nickname Padfoot. And it also works cause sometimes I act like a dog. I really like when people run their fingers through my hair and attention. So it fits." He laughed.
Remus smiles and laughed, "You do act like a dog sometimes."
Sirius's mouth dropped open in fake outrage, "You're supposed to say, 'Oh, Sirius, you never act like a dog. You’re too amazing, cool, and punk rock to be anything like an animal.'"
Remus giggled. Fucking giggled. It was the cutest thing he's ever heard.
"Well, then I would just be lying." He smirked.
Sirius hit his arm the best he could, "Back to the stories. James' became prongs because we were playing by the forest during the first year."
"Of course you were," Remus grumbled playfully, rolling his eyes.
He ignored it and continued, but let his smile grow on his face, "He fell out of a tree and when he stood back up, he had these 2 sticks in his hair, which was already a mess, that look like antlers, or prongs."
"Oh, I can picture that, little you laughing your ass off, rolling in the ground," Remus replied.
"I may or may not have done that. You have no proof."
Remus snickered.
"Then also in the first year, James and I pulled a prank on the Slytherins, putting salt instead of sugar in their sugar dishes. It was quite hilarious. Peter over there, ratted on us and soon became known as Wormtail. Then we all became friends and we've forgiven him." He turned to look at Wormtail's bed before glaring at it, "but we will never forget."
"Oh stop your dramatics," Remus said between laughs. He pushed Sirius's shoulder with more strength than he meant to and sent Sirius off the edge.
Before he could fall Remus wrapped an arm around his torso and pulled him back up. When he had calmed down from the almost fall. He looked up to say thanks, he turned and realized how close their faces were.
They stared at each other, breathing each other's air. He took a quick glance at Remus' lips before looking back at his eyes. He leaned in, but Remus pulled away.
Remus unwound his arm and cleared his throat. Sirius turned away and made more space between them, unsure of what to do now.
"I guess you need one now too," Sirius said, breaking the tension.
Remus face scrunched in confusion, "need what?"
"A nickname! You're one of us now." And just like that, the tension was gone.
"Well, what should it be then?" Remus asked offering a kind smile.
"Ummm, how about noodle?" He suggested.
Remus looked at him scandalized, "Noodle? What the fuck does that mean. I'm not a fucking noodle?"
Sirius laughed so hard there were tears running down his face, "Ha, I'm sorry. The face you made was hilarious. Noodle because your hair is curly and you have really long limbs."
"No! I'm not letting you guys call me noodle!" Remus was laughing now as well.
"Fine! Well, think of something else."
Sirius looked around the room for inspiration when the full moon in the window caught his eye. Perfect.
“Moony.” He whispered.
“What?”
“Moony, that's your nickname.”
“Why?’
Sirius shrugged, “I don't know, but it fits.”
He's not sure how long he stayed there but the next thing he remembers is falling asleep.