Chapter 3
Regulus and Remus had spent the afternoon down at the lake and were making their way back up to the castle. They’d been arguing about which one of the sisters from Sense and Sensibility was better.
“… honestly Reggie, how can you even say that? She was being impulsive and immature throughout the book,” Remus said as they walked into the Entrance Hall.
“Sure, but she was listening to her emotions! Elinor was just shutting herself down and being a martyr, it was really annoying to read,” Regulus said. Then he spotted Sirius, James and Lily upstairs and grabbed Remus’ sleeve.
“What – oh! Well go on!” Remus pulled him along and walked up to them.
“Hey guys!”
“Hey, James, Lily! Could I have a word?” Regulus asked.
Remus grabbed Sirius’ arm and kept on walking. Sirius turned back in confusion, like he was going to say or ask something, but Remus dragged him along. “Come on Pads.”
“What does Reg want with Prongs and the Doe?”
“I don’t know, but it seems important. Let’s give them some space, yeah?”
Sirius still looked like he wanted to go butt in, but Remus said: “Actually Pads, now we’re finally alone for a change, I really need to talk to you as well.”
Regulus stared at the older students nervously and nodded towards the empty transfiguration’s classroom. Then he turned and walked ahead, hoping they’d follow him.
After he opened the door, James went ahead and hopped onto the teacher’s desk. Lily leant against the wall. Reg turned around and stared determinately at his feet. “What’s up Reg?” He shook himself and looked up.
He said: “Well, I was wondering – if you’re up for it – we wouldn’t have to go there – maybe just get some candy?”
This was not what Regulus had planned on saying. He’d thought he would say something like: I was wondering whether you’d like to Hogsmeade with me? We wouldn’t have to go to the Three Broomsticks or anything, maybe we could just grab something from Honeyduke’s? That would have been good. Casual. Smooth.
Obviously, James had missed this, because he was looking at Regulus with a politely bewildered expression. Lily said: “Sorry, I don’t think I’m following.”
Fuck. Regulus’ face heat up and he tried again. “I wanted to ask whether you’d like to go to Hogsmeade with me?” His voice died out towards the end of the sentence, and the others still didn’t understand what he was saying.
“Sorry, I –“
“I’m trying to fucking ask you out!”
Bloody hell. Regulus wanted to be swallowed by the ground. James was opening and closing his mouth like a fish on dry land, stammering something incoherent. Lily’s eyes were wide, and she seemed too stunned to speak.
Finally, James got a hold of himself and asked: “Which one of us are you talking to?”
“Both of you," Regulus said. He couldn't look up at the others. "You don’t have to answer now. Let me know later?” Then he sprinted away without waiting for an answer, leaving a very confused James and Lily behind.
***
Remus met up with Lily later that night. Dorcas and Regulus were planning the movements of the Grand Staircase, Sirius and Marlene were searching the Forbidden Forest for Thestrals, and Remus and Lily were stealing ingredients for the Polyjuice potion. Lily had asked Slughorn to be allowed to stay behind to finish some extra work, and Remus had met up with her there as soon as the teacher left.
Now Lily was searching for the ingredients from Slughorn’s private storages and Remus was acting as their lookout.
“Hey Lily,” Remus started, “Have you noticed anything weird about Marlene and Dorcas?”
Lily hmm:d in a non-committing way, but Remus pushed on. “I mean, aren’t they like best friends? They’ve seemed a bit tense lately.”
Lily didn’t quite look at him and kept rummaging through the shelves. There was definitely something she wasn’t saying. What would happen to the project?
“I’m just worried about the prank, Lily. If they don’t get along, the whole thing could be in danger.”
“Do you care about anything else?” Lily laughed. “I can’t really tell you everything – or anything. But basically, Dorcas is a little hurt by something Marlene did – or felt. Or – didn’t.” She paused for a moment. “But I’m working on it, I’m sure they’ll be just fine.”
“Has it something to do with Sirius?” The farther this tension would spread, the greater the threat to the prank.
Lily sighed. “Well… sort of. Not really. It’s a bit complicated, okay?”
“Alright, alright.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Remus remembered. “Oh! What did Regulus want from you guys earlier?”
Even in the dark, Remus could tell Lily was blushing.
“He sort of – I don’t think I should tell you, he’s your friend too.”
“That means I already know, so let’s talk about it,” Remus whined.
“You’re spending way too much time with Sirius, you know,” Lily huffed. “Anyways, Reg asked us out.”
Remus was impressed. He hadn’t been sure whether Reg would actually do it. “So, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know,” Lily groaned. “I mean, I like them both. James is finally bearable and yes, I do have a slight crush on Regulus. But I always assumed James was straight.”
“Fair point,” Remus said.
“Also,” Lily went on, “It would be so intense. I’ve known James for years and he’s your best friend and Regulus is Sirius’ brother. Just imagine the mess if it fell apart! Besides, I don’t know how a throuple would work. What if someone gets jealous? Or if someone changes their mind?”
Remus pondered for a moment. “To be honest, I imagine it’d be similar to a couple. It all comes down to communication. I think, if you were to set clear boundaries at the beginning and keep communicating, it could be really great.”
Lily sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Maybe I’ll give it a go. They’re both great blokes.”
Remus guffawed, and glanced at the clock. Shit. “Hurry up! Slughorn could wander in any moment,” he hissed.
“I thought you had your map with you?”
“No, Dorcas and Regulus need it.”
“And who has the cloak?”
“I think Sirius and Marlene took it”
“Remus, what the fuck? If someone comes in here, we are so screwed”
“The faster you gather the ingredients, the smaller the fucking risk, so hurry up!”
Lily grumbled but kept searching. “I can’t find the Lacewing flies, these labels make no sense!”
Remus shushed her as he heard something down the hall. Lily froze and looked around, nervous. Remus perked his ears. There it was again! Someone was coming down the stairs into the dungeons.
“Slughorn!” he hissed. He grabbed the stuff Lily had already found and strode to the door. He peeked out, but whoever was coming hadn’t reached this hallway yet. He could hear the steps coming closer though.
“I don’t hear anything,” Lily whispered.
“Well, I do, someone’s definitely coming. Where the fuck are we gonna hide?”
“Follow me,” Lily said and rushed out. Bewildered, Remus followed after her. How did Lily know where to go?
She rushed down the hallway and turned left, pushing aside a tapestry. Behind it was a small alcove.
Lily went in and Remus squeezed after her. It was a tight fit.
Lily went to take some of the bottles and jars from Remus, who tried to silently tell her not to. He could hear the footsteps closer now. Whoever it was, was already in the hallway. They would definitely hear their shuffling.
“Lily don’t –“ Remus tried to warn her, but she didn’t realize. She kept trying to grab the bottles, shaking the tapestry.
The steps got even closer and louder. Finally, Lily heard them too. She gasped and jerked Remus’ arm, dropping two bottles. Remus cringed as they hit the ground with loud cracks, and he lost his balance. He almost fell into Lily and slammed his hand into the wall next to her head, dropping a few more jars.
They both stood frozen, faces inches from each other, trying to listen. The footsteps stopped right outside the tapestry. Remus held his breath, praying for it to be merely a house elf or Regulus or even Andromeda.
“You.” The disgust in Snape’s voice was evident, and Remus wasn’t sure whether it was directed at himself or Lily.
They scrambled apart and Remus tried to come up with an excuse or, if it came down to it, a threat.
“I can’t believe you’d let that – that thing,” Snape spat, “touch you.”
Remus felt his blood boil. He could not believe Snape would be so outright cruel. He thought Snape had really cared for Lily, in some twisted way.
“Do not talk about her like that,” he growled.
“I was talking about you,” Snape leered.
Now Remus’ blood turned cold. Snape knew. “You – you wouldn’t. You promised Dumbledore,” he tried.
“What’s going on?” Lily asked.
Snape grinned.
“You haven’t told her? Shouldn’t she know what she’s letting touch herself?”
“Don’t, Severus, please,” Remus said. “It’s not what you think.” If he lost Lily, he’d – he didn’t know what he’d to. But Snape was too sour to care.
“Your new shag is a monster”, he told Lily.
“What the fuck are you on about Sev?” she asked.
“Tell me, does he miss his prefects rounds at all? Does Black step in for him around… once a month? During full moons perhaps?”
Lily gasped.
Remus’ breath started to quicken. His vision was tunnelling. He distantly heard Snape and Lily continue to argue, but he couldn’t focus on anything.
“Remus?” Lily’s face appeared in front of him. He tried to tell her he couldn’t breathe, but she knew. She’d helped him through previous attacks. But now she knew what he was, and she’d never talk to him again. The panic swelled in his chest and the alcove seemed to be shrinking. “Remus, focus on me.”
***
“Is it true?”
It had taken a little longer than usual for Remus to calm down. Now they were sat opposite from each other, legs tangled, catching their breath. Remus couldn’t read the expression on Lily’s face. He nodded and looked away.
She took a shuddering breath.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you, I just…” “Why didn’t you?” Lily sounded – something. Hurt? Sad? Sorry?
“It’s not exactly something I want to advertise in this world,” he chuckled weakly. “James and Sirius are the only others who know. Severus only knows because – well, there was an incident. But Dumbledore made him swear he wouldn’t tell.”
“How long – I mean when…?”
“I was bit when I was five.”
Lily gasped. “I promise, all the safety measures are in place. I go to the Shrieking Shack every month, and Dumbledore and Pomfrey both know, and –“
“Remus, I don’t give a shit about that!” Lily interrupted him. “I care about you. How – I mean - are you okay?”
Remus laughed. “It’s not ideal, but I’ve made my peace with it.” For the most part, he added quietly.
Lily clambered over without saying a word, and put her arm around him. They sat like that for a while, Remus leaning on Lily’s shoulder. “I really did want to tell you. I just –“ “I understand.”
“What did Snape say after I – you know.”
“Oh, the usual, told me I should come to my senses and return to him instead of shagging – other people.”
That was not the phrase Snape had used, Remus knew it. But it didn’t have to be said. He felt like there was a new, silent understanding between them. The lycanthrope and the muggleborn. '
“Is that why you could hear him before me?”
“Probably, yeah.”
They both chuckled and looked at each other. Lily’s eyes were red. Remus felt a lump in his throat, and he leaned his head back on her shoulder as they both cried some more.
Remus wasn’t sure for how long they sat there, leaning on each other, his tears staining her shoulder. Suddenly the tapestry was swung aside.
“What the fuck.” Regulus’ face appeared in front of them. “What is – are you two crying? All you had to do was get the ingredients for the potion, what the fuck could have gone this wrong?”
“Mate,” Remus said, “you have no idea.”
They climbed out of the alcove, and Remus pretended not to notice Lily kissing Regulus’ hand when he helped her up. He did tease her for blushing all the way up to the Gryffindor tower. Even he had his limits.