Chapter 4
Remus had barely settled down on his bed, when he was interrupted. This day would just never end, apparently.
“Moony, I need to talk to you, now.” James was standing in the doorway, looking to be in the middle of an anxiety attack. He was still wearing his Quidditch gear, as he was coming straight out of practice.
“Yup.” Remus jumped up immediately, guessing what this was about.
Sirius got up as well, but Remus pushed him back. James was too frantic to notice the hurt look on Sirius’ face, but Remus shot him an apologetic look.
James led him out of the common room and down from the tower. He was walking so fast Remus almost had to jog to keep up. After they’d wandered the corridors for a few minutes, Remus broke the silence: “So uhh… what happened Prongs?”
“I – Regulus – Hogsmeade – Lily,” James stammered. He was shaking and panting.
“Alright James stop, where are you going?”
“I don’t know, I have to keep walking – I can’t stop – Merlin – Remus what is happening?”
“I sort of know.”
Now James stopped, dead in his tracks. “You what?”
“I know what happened. I’ve been talking with Reg. And Lily. Separately.”
“So you know?”
“I do.”
James started walking again, this time a bit slower and calmer. “What am I going to do? He’s Sirius’ brother, and I don’t want to hurt him,” he said.
“Hold on,” Remus said. “If it weren’t for Sirius, would you want to pursue it?”
James deflated. He sagged down against the wall. “Yes,” he whispered. “They’re both amazing.”
Remus sat down next to him and put his arm over his shoulder. “Then you should talk to Sirius.”
***
They made their way back to the tower. Remus went to the bathroom for a shower and some alone time, and left James to mull things over on his own.
15 minutes later Remus stepped out of the shower, drying his face.
“Moony!”
Remus shrieked and jumped, falling back into the bathtub.
“What the fuck, James?”
“Sorry,” the other boy said, sounding distracted. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” Remus grunted as James helped him up.
“You were right,” James said as he slumped onto the toilet. “I have to talk to Sirius, don’t I?”
Remus nodded and draped the towel around himself. “So, will you give the trouple-thing a chance?”
James sighed. “I would, but Sirius… I don’t think he’ll be okay with it.”
“He’s right outside,” Remus said. “You could just ask him.”
James sighed and closed his eyes.
“You should ask him. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Remus wasn’t so sure, actually. He had no idea how Sirius would react to this. “Come on, Prongs,” he said anyway, pulling him up to his feet. “Just be your normal self. Happy and cheerful.”
“Sirius,” he called, stepping out of the bathroom and pulling James behind him. “Prongs has something he needs to talk to you about.”
Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed and looked up expectantly. “Alright?”
“Yeah,” James said, grinning manically.
“What,” said Sirius, “is happening to your face?”
The grin dropped. “Nothing,” James said, rubbing his neck. “But Pads, I need to tell you something.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t even know where to start… Basically, Regulus sort of asked me out.”
Sirius started at him, wide-eyed.
“And Lily,” James added.
“They both asked you out? Merlin, you’ve been chasing Evans for years, and now two people want you? Nice work!” Sirius laughed.
“No,” James said. “Regulus asked me and Lily out.”
Sirius seemed to freeze. Not a muscle moved, the grin didn’t falter (though it suddenly looked a bit strained), and he kept staring at James.
“I panicked, because I was overwhelmed, and I was so scared of hurting you. But then Moony talked some sense into me and I realized I like both of them, and I think I want to date them.” James was rambled.
Sirius still didn’t say anything. The grin had dropped, and he was looking from James to Remus, too stunned to speak. James looked like he wanted to cry, and Remus felt a little awkward. He smiled reassuringly at James and cleared his throat.
Sirius looked up, with unshed tears in his eyes. James noticed them too. Immediately he strode over and knelt in front of Sirius, talking urgently.
“Pads, I’m so sorry, if you’re uncomfortable I won’t do it, you mean more to me, I shouldn’t have brought it –”
“No,” Sirius interrupted. “I mean, it’s a lot to take in. But Reggie and I chose our own lives years ago. I don’t think I have a lot to say about his dating life. But… try not to hurt him, yeah?”
James still looked unsure, and Sirius grinned. “You’re a great bloke, I get why Reg fell for you. And Evan’s is alright, I suppose. You should go tell them you’ll go. They’ll be really happy.”
James grinned uneasily but still hesitated.
“Go on!” Sirius was still grinning, but there was a certain sharpness in his voice that made James move.
“Thanks Pads!” he called over his shoulder and sprinted out.
Sirius’ shoulders sagged and he stared at the floor. Remus stood awkwardly by the door, not quite sure of what the mood was. Then he heard a sniff. Sirius was crying.
“I don’t know him at all,” he whispered. “It’s like we’re not even brothers anymore”
Remus wasn’t quite sure which one he was referring too, but walked over all the same. He didn’t really know what to do in this situation, still only clad in a towel, but he sat down next to Sirius and put his arm around him. Sirius leaned against him and cried quietly.
“Reg is so far away,” he choked out. “And now James is – is”
“I know,” Remus said. “But maybe they’ll both come a bit closer with this project. By the way, did you and Marlene already –“
“Do you think about anything other than the prank Moony?” Sirius got up. “Thanks for the chat, but I’m off. Marlene said she wanted to see me.”
***
This day was eternal. Remus had almost forgotten that he still had his prefect rounds for the night to do.
He walked down the hallway, but heard a muffled sound from a closet on his left. Remus stopped in his tracks and listened carefully. There was another noise. It sounded like a sob. Remus walked over to the door and knocked. “Hello? I’m coming in.”
Inside the closet he found some sort of lump of robes on the floor. It was shaking gently and making sniffing sounds. “Lumos,” Remus whispered. The lump was a person. “Hey, what’s happening here?”
“Go away, Moony.” Sirius’ voice was choked.
Remus dropped to his knees in front of him. “What’s wrong Pads?”
“Marlene left me,” Sirius sniffed.
“Shit,” Remus said. “Can I come in?”
Sirius nodded quietly and Remus threw his arm over his shoulder.
“What happened?”
“She – she said she likes someone else,” Sirius said. Then he started sobbing.
Remus’ heart ached for many reasons. Sirius was hurting and Sirius cared for someone else. Remus pushed his own hurt aside and hugged Sirius tight. “Did she tell you who?”
“Fucking D-Dorcas,” Sirius sobbed.
“Shit,” Remus said.
Sirius turned over and clung to Remus, clutching at his robes. He buried his face in Remus chest and still kept crying.
“I’m really sorry Pads, I know you really liked her,” Remus said.
“It’s,” Sirius started, “It’s not even that – I just – someone.” He couldn’t talk from the sobbing. He buried his face deeper into Remus’ robes and said: “Someone cared about me – or – at least I thought she did.”
Remus was stunned. He knew Sirius had issues, but he hadn’t realized he still felt unloved. “Sirius – I – we all care about you. We love you so, so much. You’re the most – I mean – you’re one of my best friends.” He cringed internally at this.
“I know,” Sirius said, lifting his face. He’d stopped crying. Still, his eyes were puffy and read, and his cheeks were tear-stained. “It’s just – I didn’t think I could be in a relationship with anyone. I thought nobody would want to deal with my shit. But then Marlene – I really thought she cared for a moment.”
“Sirius – Anyone would be lucky to get to date you. You’re incredible, you’re the most wonderful person. You would not believe how – I mean – you…” Remus’ explanation died out. “I love you so much.” His heart actually broke a little when he said that.
“Thanks Moons, I’ll be okay. Still have you, don’t I?” He chuckled and snuggled closer.
Remus played with his hair and whispered: “Always,” holding back his own tears.