Strawberry & Cigarettes

Hope Lupin was a beautiful woman when she lived. 

With flaming locks of auburn and honey hair, she had a kind soul and warm eyes. Born in New York, America. She had a rough start, but with powerful perseverance she made herself be known in this world ruled by man. Being the first woman in her family to graduate high school and get a decent job, she was proud of her hard work. She had no time for love, she needed to build an empire for herself and her family. She needed to be someone, she longed to be someone. But that night everything changed.

The New York streets were crowded with people, cars, sounds, and protests. The economy was rough those days, it was truly lucky for her to be a single woman of 22 years and had a decent job, most of her friends secured the bag and married wealthy men, she didn't need a man to prove herself. She wanted to reach the stars herself. After a long day working from 9 to 5, she avoided the crowded streets this time, maybe a change of scenery would soothe her mind. That very same morning she had an awful discussion with her mother, who once again, pushed her to leave her job and get a husband, Hope knew she only did it to know her daughter had a safe future, but it wasn't the future she wanted. All the men that courted her were completely snobs in her opinion. They only wanted her for one thing only, as a trophy, as a pretty wife, and she was more than an object!

Unaware of her surroundings, her steps walked through a green area of her neighborhood. The figure of a large, vicious man approached her, it was terrifying. Clutching her hands on her purse, she yelled. Unable to move, she froze in her place, shaking. Much to her surprise and relief, in front of her very own honey eyes, the large man transformed into a field of mushrooms, she swallowed another scream. Was she seeing things? Was she going insane? 

"Are you okay?" A man ran his way toward her and she pressed her purse against her chest. Scared. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." His smile seemed to be enough for her to trust him.

Oh, he had a precious smile. 

"Yes." She replied after a moment, still completely amused by what just happened. Taking a look at him, he was tall and slim, he had dark brown hair and his facial hair gave him a more mature look. He was wearing a navy suit and in his hand was what she supposed was a wooden stick. Odd. 

But he was really, really handsome as well.

"What happened?" She asks, looking at him through her long eyelashes. 

"You might not believe me." He gave her a gentle smile and for a moment, the whole world seemed to stop. It was only the two of them, looking at the eyes of each other and wondering if the other felt the same. The feeling lasted a few seconds before he cleared his throat. "Please, allow me to walk you the rest of your track, in case anything else happens." 

From there, everything changed. 

She learned his name was Lyall Lupin, he was 29 years old and he was on a business trip. She also learned he had the sweetest smile, he was quite shy but clever. But deep inside him, there was a fierce temper, and was not afraid to challenge the possibilities to protect what he believed in.

"So, how's life in London?" Hope asked, sitting next to him at the bar. It has been four months since the day they met, and she found herself never wanting to leave his side.

He was different. Different from the other men that she coexists with, he was caring, he saw her for what she was, he cherished her thoughts, he heard her opinions and didn't see her as a weak woman. He called her rather often, inviting her for a drink, for ice cream, picking up her from work, and leaving her at home before curfew. 

"It's very different from here, I can tell you that." He smiled. Oh, that gorgeous smile, she didn't care he had a crooked smile, it only added more charm to his whole self. He leaned down to place a chat kiss on her pretty pink lips. "Come live with me." He offered.

"Are you serious?" Hope asked, her eyes wide as they could be. It would be a lie to say she hadn't thought about it before but wasn't it too rushed? "But, my work, my family..."

"You can work there if you want, we can come to visit your family every once in a while." His smile got even wider at her blushing cheeks, he kissed those cheeks lovingly. "I just want to be with you, I adore being with you."

In the end, she accepted. He placed a pretty ring on her finger a couple of weeks later and mom was as happy as she could be. This was a new chapter, a new life. And holding her fiance's hand while looking from the ship's window with her belongings in a suitcase in her other hand. The city that watch her grew up shrank into nothing and soon the dark blue sea surrounded her. The state of euphoria was too much. She was happy, she was in love. She watched him, resting his arms on the railing, eyes lost in the midnight sky and a cigarette between his lips. Lyall Lupin was the love of her life, was his hero, was all she wanted. The trip to London was wonderful, he showered her with kisses, and hugs, he brought her breakfast and they danced in the moonlight, they made sweet love under the soft cotton sheets and she felt her heart swelling from all the happiness she experienced in the last months. 

London was a whole new world. 

And she stumbles upon another whole new world when Lyall explained everything. Who he was, his work, his school, his life. She was engaged to a wizard.

With her experience, charisma, and sweet personality, she managed to get a decent job at an insurance office. She had everything she could dream of. A loving man, nice work, a pretty house, a happy life. Their wedding was just like she imagined it, she met his friends, his coworkers, she was now part of his life and he was part of hers. It was a dream come true. She laughed the moment he explained to her that, the night they met, the thing that approached her was actually a boggart, a boggart that had been on the loose and he traveled to America just to help the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures in America. On their wedding cake, it was featured a boggart-shape topper. It was a wonderful day, a wonderful life. And when she found out she was pregnant, she thought her life couldn't get better. The very first moment she held her son in her hands, she cried, she cried of pure joy and love. He was perfect, her perfect little man. She remembers the way Lyall grabbed her hand, how he cried as well, they were happy, they were in love. They were a happy family.

Everything was perfect.

Of course, until the accident happened. 

All he could gather from his childhood was the sweet smell of the pastries his mom used to bake, and pain. The pain was always there. Sometimes he even felt like the pain was his only friend. At school he wasn't the social type, the moment he learned to read he knew this was his way of escaping the horrors of his own body. Remus read every day, on his bed, on the couch, he loved it when his mother read to him before bedtime. The reality he built for himself inside his books was the only glimpse of hope he had to live a normal life. Overall, he could say he was a happy kid. But once a month his body was in a cage, his sanity was thrown away and the pain became unbearable by the age of 8. He started paying more attention to his slim body. To the scars. The scars were everywhere. In his shoulders, his arms, his hands, his torso. Soon they reached his face. The gentle way his mother used to wipe his tears and clean his wounds was a memory that followed him in a melancholic way. A broken child, who covered his face under his pillows to not hear his parents fighting downstairs after every full moon. To not hear his mother crying and his father blaming himself. A lonely child whose only friends were books and the stars, who grew up to be a doomed man who was now craving something he would never be able to pursue. Calloused fingers slid across the scar over his nose, an old buddy.

Looking at his scarred body in the mirror, Remus just brushed his teeth and dressed up. It was Hogsmeade weekend and as much as he wanted to spend his Sunday alone in his office reading and grading, he needed to assist Professor McGonagall with the third years. To be mid-October, the weather was rather cold and the newspapers predicted a snowstorm for Halloween. Wrapping a scarf around his neck, he walked out of the castle to meet Minerva. The students were eager for their first trip to Hogsmeade, and he remembered how excited he was as well. His eyes lingered around the patio for a while, spotting you around your friends and laughing. You were wearing a cute knitted hat with the colors of your house, which combined with your sweater. Looking lovely. 

"Don't look, but Professor Lupin is looking at you," Ariadna whispered in your ear. This was the latest topic in your friend group. 

Since the fiasco in Snape's class about werewolves, you thought you were done with helping in DADA, but the next week Professor McGonagall approached you and offered to be Professor Lupin's assistant, your only work being grading. You weren't forced to be in his classroom while doing it, so you accepted and she gifted you 10 house points. You spent your nights grading essays about banshees, dementors, trolls, vampires... You enjoyed reading other points of view and getting distracted was nice. Turns out you and he wasn't a bad team, he thanked you for your help and you just shrugged. From time to time you two exchanged opinions about certain topics, both of you purposely avoiding werewolves, him because he didn't like to talk about it, and you because it reminded you of Snape's harsh words that day. You were in a complicated situation, the appropriate moment for the discussion never seem to take place, and being honest, you weren't sure what to say. The more you spent time with him and listened to his lessons, the more you felt interested in him. You learned that he loved chocolate, his favorite book genre was postmodern literature and he owned an old record player. But it was a dangerous game. You could get expelled and he could lose his job. You noticed the small glances he gave you in class, at breakfast and dinner, when you returned the essays. You let yourself in, brushing your fingers against his hand handing him the parchments, giving him small smiles when your eyes met. A part of you adored the attention. 

Even if it was a very dangerous game.

Sitting with your friends at the Three Broomsticks, you spent your day at ease. Walking around the small town, you stopped by the local flower shop while your friends waited outside. Walking through the aisles, you froze when a familiar set of amber eyes met yours. Holding a bouquet of white lilies, Professor Lupin smiled at you.

"Hello." He greeted you.

"Hi." You replied feeling your throat go dry. Why was he buying flowers? Were those for someone? Was he buying flowers for a woman? 

"Are you okay?" He asked taking a step closer to you. "You look a little pale." He frowned in concern. 

"I'm fine." You replied shaking your head. The small pot in your shaky hands caught his attention but he didn't say anything else. Excusing yourself you walked to the old lady who ran the shop to pay for a plant you were clueless about, just wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. 

While you walked out of the store you heard the old lady questioning Professor Lupin, harmless and playfully jokes. 

"Professor, nice to see you." She had a gentle voice, she always smelled like roses. "Who's the lucky lady?" To which Remus chuckled.

"Unfortunately, these are not for a lady." Your tracks stopped at the door frame, holding your breath. Your mind yelled at you to get out, this was none of your business. "My mother's favorite flowers are lilies." He explained briefly and the old lady melted in her spot.

"Oh what a gentleman you are!" She wrapped the bouquet and placed a pink bow around the stems. "My son doesn't even know my favorite flower." You tried to smile at the irony. 

The confession relaxed you and made you release a breath you didn't know you were holding. Walking out of the flower shop, the cold air hitting your warm face made you shiver. 

"What took you so long?" Jennifer asked, looking at the little pot in your hands. "Ow! Those are so cute."

Making a brief stop at Honeyducks, you bought some sweets as well while arguing with your thoughts. He bought flowers, for his mother. Not for another woman, why were you annoyed by the idea? That disgusting sting of jealousy got you in a bad mood. Following your friend group back to the castle while looking at your feet, the dilemma inside your head was exhausting. Inside the castle grounds, you excused yourself for a moment, handing Ariadna the small pot. Heading up to the library feeling rather impulsive. Saying a quick hello to Madame Pince, you hurried to the herbology section. Picking up an old encyclopedia, you filled out the form required to take the book with you. 

On your way to your dorm, you spotted Harry walking in the opposite direction, appearing to look furious? upset?. Tilting your head, it was weird for you to see him like that. Of course, everyone had their bad days, but still, you knew him to be a sweet, happy boy. 

"Hey, Harry." You slowed down smiling at him. "What's wrong?"

"Hey." He replied not maintaining eye contact. "It's nothing. I just feel a bit upset I guess." He didn't mean to be rude, he admired you and looked up to you, always willing to help and kind. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." 

"What would you do if you found out that someone... someone who was supposed to protect you, betrayed you?" His question was offputting. You weren't sure what he meant, but you tried your best to reply.

"Well, I would be mad, of course." You paused. "Disappointed and all, but at some point, I guess I would like to know their reasons. Something might had happen that I wasn't aware of." 

"What do you mean by that?" He narrowed his green eyes, adopting a defensive tone.

"If someone has to protect you, and suddenly decides to break that vow, then something might had happen. I don't think people betray others for no reason."  

"You say that because you haven't been in that situation." He spat at you, his sudden change of attitude surprising you. "My parents are dead because some selfish idiot decided to betray their trust."

Oh, he was talking about Sirius Black.

You heard the story before, it all happened when you were only 5 years old. The mild memory of hearing it on the radio, and reading it in every newspaper. He was the main spy of you-know-who, the cause of the awful death of Harry's parents, one of their closest friends, and 12 muggles. Harry's words made you sigh. Understanding he had every right to be mad.

"I can only imagine how you feel." You knew he didn't want your pity, if you were in his place you would feel the same. "But it's not my place to opine, Harry."

"Of course it's not." His eyes were filled to the brim with angry tears. "You have the privilege of having a family." His last words tensed you up, frowning. The look you gave him was no longer friendly and sympathetic. 

"For your information, Harry." Your voice was no longer the one he liked to hear, the big sister voice. It was dry, emotionless. "My father died protecting your parent's cause. I'm sorry he wasn't a hero. But you need to watch your words from time to time." His expression melted into one of horror and shame. His cheeks blushed and he bit his lip.

"I'm sorry..." He started.

"Don't be." Shaking your head you walked past him. "See you later."

It wasn't a topic you liked to remember, less talk about it. 

Their marriage wasn't exactly a happy one. It was more of a deal. Mom wanted a wealthy husband and Dad wanted a trophy wife. The opportunity was presented and it happened. Mom was always a beautiful woman, constantly saying your natural beauty was from her side, knowing exactly how to wrap men around her fingers. Mom always explained how men were an accessory, not a must. While growing up, you never learned a concrete concept of love, Mom had more boyfriends than pair of heels. Regardless of her love life, she was always a protective and caring mother. Everything you wanted was placed in your soft hands, a puppy? yes, a doll? yes, anything for her sweet baby. Being Mom's pride and joy was a two-edged sword. Feeling the constant pressure of being a perfect daughter, making your way through life, and building a successful life and career of your own. The moment she said her goodbyes, wiping her tears with a lace handkerchief, she kissed your forehead and her words were printed with fire in your mind and heart.

"You have all the talent to succeed." Her expensive mascara threatened to ruin her flawless eye makeup. "Make yourself known in this rich man's world, my dear. Make sure everyone remembers your name."

Charlotte. A widow, a mother, a woman who knew the power she held in her looks and mouth. Since she was born she knew who she was, and what she wanted. Charlotte had dreams, big dreams. Being the oldest daughter of a middle-class marriage, she worked from a young age, providing what she could to her family. Working all night, all day, working every summer after school was over. Forced to help pill the bills of her household. Exhausted and bitter, there never seemed to be a single penny left for her. Sorted into Ravenclaw, she knew she was smarter than the average. She could see things others couldn't. She was a sight for sore eyes, with long dark hair, people stared at the makeup on her face. Pearly white smile, and dangerous eyes, she was an angel. Charlotte knew she had the power to succeed, maybe not as a professional, but as a woman, she had every door opened for her to walk gracefully like a gazelle. After her graduation, many men offered her a job, a proposal, a date. But she declined them all. No one seemed to be enough for her, no one seemed to be the perfect man she pictured in her dreams. That was until she met him. It wasn't love at first sight, she had one goal in mind while waddling her way to him, every step seducing him, charming him, owning him. 

She was the unspoken ruler of the rich man's world. 

The wedding was ostentatious, just as she dreamed of, just like she wanted. The luxury she knew she deserved was finally at her reach, at her name. The honeymoon was luxurious, she played her role for years, and Charlotte was a great actress. Father loved it, he loved to wrap his arm around his drop-dead gorgeous wife, and he loved to pamper her with gifts, trips, dresses, and jewelry. He knew she didn't love him, she loved his money and he was fine with that. It was all a play, a wonderful and picture-perfect play. Father had everything he wanted, and the moment you were born, he knew marrying Charlotte was the right decision. You were his precious little girl, the baby shower was huge, flashy, and every distinctive and important family of the wizarding world was there, they all showered the perfect daughter of a perfect marriage with gifts. 

Behind the scenes, not everything was perfect. All the yelling, the fights, all the times you covered your face under the soft big pillows of your princess bedroom to not hear them screaming at each other. It didn't matter who cheated on who, it didn't matter who started the fight, it didn't matter who threw things at each other first. Once the curtains of the theater were up again, Mom and Dad hold hands and kissed each other lovingly. The fights started at any minor inconvenience and always ended with gifts, expensive dinners, and a bouquet of fifty roses. 

When Father died, Mom played her part once again, dressed in all black, sobbing and crying almost as if she really meant it. Shedding diamond tears, she looked beautiful, a true femme fatale. 

"Where were you?" Jennifer asked, your little pot placed by the window. "We are almost late for dinner." She noticed your dull expression. "If you don't feel like it we can stay with you."

"It's fine." You said placing the book you borrowed from the library to the pile of books next to your bed. 

Dinner was delicious, as usual. Avoiding locking eyes with the professor's table, you did noticed Harry's eyes fixated on you, in his face there was a permanent gesture of embarrassment and forgiveness. When he saw you looking back at him, he gave you a shaky smile to which you smiled back, you would deal with that later. The Great hall began to empty and while you crossed the tall doors, you felt a harsh tug in your sweater.

"Hey, doll." Fred's voice made you smile.

"Hi." You hugged both, this past weeks you didn't saw them much. "What'cha two up to?" 

"Come with us." George's smile was contagious. 

Following them, they lead you through the crowded halls of the castle, students getting ready to go to bed, have a peaceful night, instead, the three of you, ready to cause trouble. The way they knew every hall, every turn and corner never stopped to amaze you. They never shared their secret, not even with you. One time they led you to a secret passage that connected with Honeydukes basement, one time you got lost trying to follow them from behind, and you ended up in a room you had never seen before, somehow they found you. It was a mystery. 

"Ready for the Halloween party?" George asked, the empty hallway illuminated by the dim candles on the brick walls. 

"I mean, I wanna go but I don't have a date." You confessed, a few students invited you in the past weeks, you politely declined every offer, nothing really picked your interest.

"Is it true that you rejected Oliver Wood?" Fred asked as if it was the most scandalous thing he had ever heard.

"Yeah." You blushed, the memory making you a bit uncomfortable. "He's cute and all, but I don't like quidditch players, all they do is talk about it you know."

"I thought you loved quidditch!" Fred joked, always ready annoy you. "We get it, a smart girl like you wouldn't date a meat head like him."

"We saw your name at the top of the first period tests, doll." George elbowed you. "Trying to impress someone?" 

"As if." Rolling your eyes, the hallways started narrowing and the candles in the walls got less bright. "Were are we going?" 

"Patience, darling." The twins said at the same time, you hated when they did that. 

Reaching a dead end, you looked at them confused. The twins had big, knowingly grins in their faces, they loved to mess with you. On the other side, you hated being their target.

"Are you gonna show me what's supposed to happen or I will have to beat both of your ginger arses?" They laughed at your snarky question. 

"Sterculinum" Their combined voices echoed against the empty hall and in front of you, the brick wall started moving. This was a castle and all, a school of magic, yeah, but it was still weird as hell. A set of spiral stairs was presented and they encouraged you to move to the secret passage. Wondering which tower was, reaching the end, it looked like another common room, but abandoned. Couches, doors that probably led to bedrooms, windows, and a very old fireplace. The old hangings were forgotten in the tall walls and dusty.

"What is this place?" On the center of the big room, a small blanket was on the floor surrounded by pillows, accompanied with some pillows and a small coffee table, on top of which, was a variety of cookies and pastries. 

"This was the old tower for the Gryffindor's head boy and girl." Fred explained. "Nobody comes around here anymore, as you can see. No one really remembers it."

"How do you know about all this places?" You questioned Fred while George led you to the small table. 

"A magician never reveals their secrets." George winked at you.

"We noticed you were really stressed lately." Fred sat next to his twin. "We know you are smart and capable of anything, but you've been pushing yourself too much lately."

"We know how important are your grades, with your mom stuff and all." George lit some candles with the tip of his wand. "But you need to relax, doll. At least for a night."

A grateful feeling invaded your body, you were so happy to share this moments with them, the twins appreciated you with all their heart, you helped them so much before, with homework, cheering them up, standing up for them, you were their third musketeer in a way. So, for them this was the least thing they could do for you. Hugging them tightly. you felt all the stress melting away, all the clogged feelings and bad emotions, everything felt so far when you were with them. Spending most of your night laughing at their jokes, discussing several topics, gossiping, eating cookies. 

"So, how are things going with him?" George asked, biting a cinnamon roll. 

"Ugh, don't even mention him." You sighed. "I've been trying everything to avoid him, but I'm stuck helping him, thanks to Mcgonagall and her ability to convince people." 

"Although, you don't know when and how to say no." Fred pointed out.

"I do!" You scoffed, offended. 

"Then why are you helping him?" Fred insisted. 

"I don't know." The confession made them giggle. "Today... I saw him at Dogweed, and he was buying a bouquet of lilies. White lilies. I overheard him saying they were for his Mother..." You blushed at the end, remembering how the jealousy invaded you at the thought of him gifting flowers. As expected, it didn't went unnoticed by the twins.

"Were you jealous?" Fred raised an eyebrow. "Don't be jealous of your mother in law." 

"Yeah, that's kinda sick, doll." George supported Fred's sentence.

"I wasn't jealous!" Your sharp squeak earned you two pairs of eyes rolling back.

"Of course you are!" They said at the same time. 

"I mean... I don't want to be near him, I feel nervous when he's around." Locking eyes with your hands, feeling safe to express your feelings with the Weasley twins. "But when I don't see him around, or those days when he's abstent at class and I have to hear fucking grease-hair speaking, I... " Oh, the struggle. "I guess I miss him? I don't know. I don't know. It feels so complicated!, he looks so exhausted when he's back, and I worry. I want to hear him, to know what's weighing him." A shaky sigh made its way past your lips. "A part of me hates him, I think. I feel angry when he's looking at me, well, maybe not angry, upset? Although the little smiles he gives me, makes me feel excited, noticed. I don't know. I'm unsure about it, I want him to stay as close as it's legally possible, but at the same time I just wish I could erase every memory with him."

Fred and George looked at you, at each other, and then back at you. They could only imagine the internal battle you were having, they never had seen you this way, not even for a man, a boy, whatever. The twins saw you as a sister, as a friend, as an accomplice, and seeing you struggling with your own feelings made them feel bad. 

"If you could start over, erase everything that happened." Fred's voice was soft. "Would you like to know him?"

"Yes." Your reply was unhesitant. And a simple affirmation like that, spoke more than a thousand words combined. 

"Well, there's your answer, babe." George had a sly grin. "When's the wedding?" And with that, you and Fred burst into laughter. 

In any moment you felt judged, you felt at home, secured, comfortable. They were your little home. Despite the jokes, the teasing, the occasional distance, Fred and George were always for you, and you were always for them as well. After the sweets were gone and you yawned at least four times, the twins escorted you back to your dorm, jogging around their secret passages and corners, feeling happier than ever. You fell asleep with a smile in your pretty lips, it was a good day, a good night, with good company and a full stomach. 

Rolling in his bed, Remus was unable to fall asleep. He had a terrible headache and the cold room made his bones ache. The fireplace was lit hours ago and he still was unable to warm up. Remus spend up all night, the headache only getting worse. The sun peeked through his windows and he groaned in discontent. It was a Monday, a cold Monday. Another sleepless night. Lately he had been unable to rest properly, the only thing in his mind being you. Haunting him, the memory of your figure, and it didn't helped at all that he was stuck with you as his assistant due to his impulsive mouth. Getting a quick shower, the warm water relaxed his muscles and he knew that was the only relief he would be able to get that day. Dressing up, his eyes lingered across his scarred body, again and again, it was a permanent curse, just like his lycanthropy. A nightmare that never ended. He reached the Great Hall just in time and sat next to Hagrid who distracted him with a conversation about gnomes, explaining him that his hut was now infested with those little pests. Remus tried to keep a friendly mask, keeping his bad mood for himself. The dark coffee did nothing to wake him up, but the warmth was greatly appreciated. 

Then, classes started. He loved to teach, it gave him an odd wave of confidence, he liked when students were enthusiastic like he once was about Defense Against the Dark Arts. Students often catalogued him as the best professor they ever had, and it made him feel honored. He spent the morning talking about ghosts, hags, hinkypunks, he clapped and encouraged every student to maneuver spells, a smokescreen spell, a vermillious duo, preparing small duels with the impediment jinx. Remus enjoyed this, a little too much. He loved to see their smiles, and the background music allowed him to feel relaxed, to create his little bubble. 

A bubble that popped the moment he saw you again. Maybe it was because he was tired, or unconsciously eager to see you, but you looked particularly pretty that day. Maybe pretty was an understatement. Having you so close, made him remember how far you were. 

«She's gorgeous, she's young, she's smart.» Once again, his bitter and destructive thoughts got the best of him. «I can't offer her anything more than a broken body and an unhappy life.»

Today's lesson was about Manticores. Hiding his discomfort once more, he imparted the class just like he had done the whole morning, with a steady voice and a gentle smile. He played the role of the good professor, the one everyone loved, the kind and likeable DADA professor. While the whole class was taking notes, he leaned at the edge of his darkwood desk, taking advantage of the way every student's face was glued to their partchments, to look at you. The little frowned you made when you were concentrated, the small pout when you ran out of ink, and the tiny smile you gave him the moment you discovered his gaze on you.

"A manticore, has the head of a human, the body of a lion and the tail of a scorpion, that has the capacity of killing anyone instantly with its sting." To his surprise, your eyes kept contact with his, he continued his speech. "Classified as an XXXXX creature, Manticore's skin repells all known charms, so it's extremely difficult to subdue a Manticore with magic..." 

Much to your dismay, class was over faster than you thought. This was the day, this was the moment, the moment when you were going to tell him exactly what you felt, even applying a bit of makeup. Waiting for the class to be empty, you gave your friends the excuse of handing Professor Lupin the essays you graded in the weekend and they bought the excuse (which wasn't exactly an excuse). Professor Lupin took a seat at his desk, deciding to ignore your presence. He felt it coming, he knew what he had to do and it pained him intensely. 

"Professor." You cleared your throat and he gave you a small hmm, letting you know you had his attention. "Here are the essays." Placing the writing in his desk, you took a deep breath. Giving you a small pat in the back, you were ready.

«You can do it.» The words of encouragement echoed inside your head.

"Don't you have another class to go to?" Professor Lupin asked you, giving all his attention to the essays. His voice was stern, giving you a sudden wave of nervousness.

"I do. I just want to talk about something."

"You already handed me the essays I needed, I don't think we need to discuss anything else besides that." Remus was incapable to look at you, afraid he might break. 

Your heart stopped for a second.

"Professor, It's something important, something I want you to know." Your voice no longer had the confidence it owned seconds before. "I'ts about u-"

Standing up, he called your last name, in a way that stole your bravery, your spirit and courage. His amber eyes met yours, the friendly and kind look replaced with a cold, intimidating set of eyes. 

"We don't have nothing to talk about." Remus hands were pressed hardly against his desk, towering in front of you. "Whatever you think we have to discuss, lacks importance to me. You're just confused."

Confused.

"Anything that happened between you and me was a mistake."

Mistake.

"You are a student and I'm your professor. The things you are suggesting are highly unprofessional."

Unprofessional. 

"I will ask you to leave my classroom or I will be forced to summon Professor McGonagall."

Leave.

Keeping your head up, you gave him a hateful look, one that broke his heart. Slamming the door behind you, Remus ran towards the door, locking it and letting escape a shaky sigh. Pressing his back against the door, unware of how you were mimicking his actions. On the other side of the thick wooden door, with closed eyes, biting your lip fighting the urge to cry. The standing figure in front of you completely ignored.

"What's wrong?" A male voice caught your attention and Lupin's ear was pressed against the door in an instant. Opening your eyes you recognized him. 

"Nothing, don't worry about it." You lied, giving Cedric Diggory a weak smile. "Are you looking for Professor Lupin? He's inside."

"Actually, I was looking for you." Cedric confessed with a slight blush. 

"Well, I'm here." You tried to joke but the shakiness of your voice betrayed you. 

"We can talk later if you want, don't worry." Cedric gave you a sweet smile. You shrugged.

"It's fine, tell me." Assuming he needed help with something, you were grateful for the sudden distraction. That's probably why his question caught you by surprise. 

"Would you like to go to the Halloween party with me?" He asks, shyly. 

Remus's eyes widened, clenching his fists, he felt the same sting of jealousy you felt before. He knew Diggory, he was a fifth-year, probably 16, almost 17. Girls appeared to like him, a lot He was sweet, caring, he had a warm smile, bright gray eyes and ivory curls, always available to help, Cedric was the embodiment of the qualities of Hufflepuff house. A prefect, captain and also seeker of his quidditch team, he was the boy every girl dreamed of. Remus knew this were the consequences of his words, he had to push you away, for your own good. He was nothing compared to Cedric, not even when he was his age. Even if the envy was consuming him and burning his sanity.

"Don't you think I'm a bit old for you? Diggory." The teasing tone of your voice only fueled the rage in Remus's chest. Cedric blushed wildy. "I would love to." Remus cursed himself at your words. 

Was this all his fault? Perhaps. Did he had the urge to open the door, pull you in and kiss you? Affirmative. Was this the best for you? Definetly. 

So, while you walked to your next class side by side with Cedric, Remus Lupin once again denied himself the chance of being happy, while the hopelessness tears ran down his cheeks.