Strawberry & Cigarettes

"Can I have a word with you?" He asked, his hands on his pockets but unable to look at you in the eyes.

"Y-Yeah." You stuttered and you looked at Fred and George with your best eyes of 'please-don't-tell-anyone-I-had-sex-with-my-teacher', they nodded and looked at Professor Lupin one last time before excusing themselves and leaving so fast their trail left flames as red as their hair.

You were fucked, you were so fucked. You had sex with your teacher.

For the record, you didn't know he was your teacher, but still, what were the fucking odds? You met a random guy in a bar, yeah, hit it off? yeah, and two days later you discover he's a new teacher in your school? a wizarding school. It sounded completely absurd. This whole situation was unbelievable.

You walked behind him shaking like a leaf at the wind, looking at your feet, the sharp pain in your ankle was the last one of your problems at the moment, in front of you, Professor Lupin was walking as tense as you were if not even more. Asking himself the same question.

What were, the damnfucking odds?

Opening the door of his classroom, the same classroom you ran away from just a few minutes ago. You saw a desk on the floor, noticing it was your desk, you were so hurried to escape away from this situation that you didn't even notice! Professor Lupin used his wand to place the desk where it belonged and you felt the slightest sting of guilt. He didn't say anything to you but instead continued walking to his office upstairs. Following him, your ankle seemed to give up and your whole foot twisted painfully, yelping in pain and surprise, you slipped from the stairs and closed your eyes trying to cover your face from the impact. An impact that never arrived. A strong grip was placed around your waist and you screamed silently. Professor Lupin's hands were firmly placed around you and your eyes met with each other's. You wanted to push him, kick him, and tell him to stay ten meters away from you, but you also wanted to kiss him. Still, you didn't move in the slightest. Clearing his throat he pulled you out of your trance and helped you walk your way to your office, again without a word.

Inside his office, you spotted the same boxes you saw at his apartment, and the nauseous feeling in your stomach made you cover your mouth. You really wanted to vomit. Professor Lupin appeared to notice you weren't feeling exactly ideal, closing the door behind him he looked at you but he wasn't able to talk, opening his mouth a couple of times he remained silent. The air was so tense, so thick, you felt your face heating up.

"Um." You broke the silence, suppressing the urge to vomit. "Do you have a trash can?" He nodded and from below his desk, he gave you one. You gave him a quick glance and he understood the message.

Turning around he gave you all the privacy he could which in reality wasn't much. His shoulders were so tense and rock hard it hurt. His breath hitched when he heard you gagging and vomiting behind him. You coughed behind him feeling dead-ass embarrassed. Wiping your mouth with your hand you tried your best not to cry. At least not in front of him. Placing the trash can on the floor you sighed and lay on the chair. Professor Lupin turned around and looked at you, your face was really pale and your eyes looked enormously tired. Walking behind his desk he sat on his chair, rubbing his face in his hands. You both knew what was going to happen but neither of you dared to give the first step. Lupin was extremely shocked and embarrassed and you were... on the verge of passing out, you haven't eaten a proper meal since you arrived and it was already affecting you, plus your ankle, a pain you notice until that moment and pain that was beyond unbearable. Letting your headrest in the back of the chair you sighed bitterly, biting your lips. You looked at him and how he opened one of his drawers, handing you a bar of chocolate. What? A bar of chocolate?

"It will help with nausea." Professor Lupin explained and you just took it in your hands and stuffed it inside your pockets.

"I know this question might be odd." You managed to speak, although, this whole situation was a bit odd. "Can I take off my shoe?" Professor Lupin blinked a few times but nodded.

With slow movements, you removed your school shoe and long knee socks, carefully unwrapping your ankle and noticing that it was an angry red, even more swollen than the first time.

"Fuck." You murmured. Professor Lupin's eyes darted to your ankle and scrunched his nose lightly. It looked excruciating.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice now filled with worry.

"I sprained my ankle." Your voice was low, almost looking as if you were replying by pure commitment. "I fell the other day, but I think now it's much worse." No shit.

"I'll take you with Madame Pomfrey." Standing up he was now kneeling next to you. "Can I see?" He asked politely. You raised your leg and his hands gently wrapped themselves around your bare calf. 

Maybe, just maybe, if the whole situation was different, you would've been flattered to have him so close to you. Though it wasn't, you wanted to die right here and right now. 

"It does look terribly swollen." Professor Lupin continued, his fingertips ghosting the muscle, you whimpered lightly and he looked at you grieved. "I'm sorry." 

"Please." You tried to speak, gaining all the courage you could (which being honest, wasn't much). "Let's just get this over with, let's discuss whatever we have to and I'll go to the infirmary. Then, we both will continue with our lives and pretend nothing happened." Hoping your words had a confident tone, you were disappointed to hear yourself so hurried and shaken. 

The professor down next to you was draught back for a moment, your blunt attitude surprised him for a moment, but he knew it wasn't that easy. Nothing in his life had been easy so why would this be?

"I'm sorry, but we will have to postpone our discussion until you get better." He sighed, you tried to sympathize with him, it must be difficult as well for him but the sharp sting in your ankle made you clench your fists and your teeth. "I'll take you to the infirmary." Again, towering next to you he helped you to stand up. Before you could start jumping on one foot on your way to the infirmary, strong but gentle arms picked you up 'bridal-style'. You gasped and unconsciously wrapped your arms around his neck for support. "I won't allow you to limp yourself all the way." He called your last name and you felt again embarrassed. Your face was a deep red color as intense as your ankle. Walking down the office stairs he opened the door with a flick of his hand.

Seeing a Professor carrying a student across the Hogwarts halls it's not something you see every day. 

A couple of curious glances made their way towards you two, a group of girls winked at you and you just looked away mortified, Fred and George were to be seen in the distance but they didn't dare to walk closer. The walk to the infirmary was torturously long, you suddenly remembered you had tutorship classes that day when you spotted Harry Potter and Ron Weasley heading up your way. Harry smiled at you and Professor Lupin and decided to walk his way next to him followed by Ron who was eating a chocolate frog. 

"I'm sorry Harry but I won't be able to make it to potions today." You said from Lupin's arms trying to hide the shame in your voice. "Can you please tell Professor Snape that I will be in the infirmary?" He must be really mad because of your absence.

"Of course!" Harry replied with a smile. "What happened? Are you okay?" He tilted his head and then looked at your ankle. "Oh, I'm sorry, it must be really painful." 

"Don't worry." You assured him with a smile that seemed to calm him. "Go to class, I don't want you to be late, if you need any help with homework you'll know where to find me. Goodbye Ron, good luck."

The two boys smiled at you and thanked you while they hurried back to their classes. After what felt like hours Professor Lupin and You arrived at the infirmary where Madame Pomfrey welcomed both of you with a smile.

"Remus!" She exclaimed. "I'm so glad to see you again." She had a sweet smile and then looked at you. "What's the matter, my dear?" You lifted your leg a bit showing her your swollen ankle. "Oh my, I told you to be careful." She scolded you, which was just a joke but you still felt guilty. She gestured to Professor Lupin to lay you down in one of the empty beds and you gasped in pain. "Let's take a look..." She said while examining your ankle, much to your surprise and despair, Professor Lupin remained in his place with hands-on his pockets looking at you. "What happened?" She asked. 

"Um." You started, struggling to find your words, feeling quite uncomfortable, having quick flashbacks about your sudden fall, how Lupin's hands were wrapped around your waist, how he kneeled in front of you, and the sensation of his fingertips ghosting over your skin. 

"I asked her to stay after class." Professor Lupin came to the rescue. "I was unaware of the state of her ankle and I asked her to help me move some boxes, unfortunately, she tripped with one of them and I carried her over. I'm deeply sorry." Why was he lying? Why he was staying there with you anyway? 

"I understand." Madame Pomfrey appeared to believe him and looked back at you. "Dear, you need to be more careful." You looked at your lap feeling remorseful. While she examined your ankle once more you felt lightheaded, your empty stomach, the rush of emotions, the pain in your lower leg, everything was building up to purposely knock you off. It took all the remaining strength you had to not faint. "I'm sorry my dear, but you broke your ankle." She said with a sad voice.

"What!?" You exclaimed in a rush of energy sitting back up in bed. 

"I'm surprised by your pain tolerance, I've seen other students with a fracture and you are one of the few ones that seemed to bear the pain." Madame Pomfrey handed you a potion and you assumed it was for the pain. "If you want we can use more traditional ways and I can cast your ankle, but it will prevent you from physical activities and you will struggle a bit to move." You chugged the potion which was different from the first one, this one tasted like cod and cherries. "I can instantly seal the bone again but this can cause side effects, your ankle will be sensible and prone to accidents, in a few days or even a week you will be as good as new, but you will have to be even more careful from now on."

If the circumstances were different, you would probably choose the first option, but right now you weren't thinking right, whipping your mouth after drinking the potion, you nodded. You will opt for the second option, you declined to be a burden to your friends and you were sure that a cast would be extremely uncomfortable. 

"I just want to get this over with." You said but you weren't sure if it was directed to Madam Pomfrey or to Professor Lupin. "I promise I will be more careful, but I really have things to do and a broken ankle is not going to mess up with my plans." No idea which plans you were referring to. "The second option it's the one I will be going with."

Madame Pomfrey nodded and walked away preparing her equipment leaving Lupin and you alone in the cubicle. He looked at you fixedly and you avoided his gaze.

"Is that mine?" He asked, you instantly understood what he was referring to.

"Yeah." You confessed just in time for Madame Pomfrey to return and get to work with your broken bone.

The process was faster than you thought and the only thing you felt was a strong but painless crack in your bones, it left a ticklish feeling and you shivered at the foreign sensation. She then instructed you with some aftercare procedures and tips but you weren't actually paying attention, the heartbeat that muffled her voice was pumping wildly in your ears. You thanked her endlessly but she didn't stop there. She asked you if you ate a proper breakfast and you avoided her question, she called your name and you shrank in the white bed. The growl in your stomach betrayed you. You shily confessed how you skipped dinner and breakfast and you were rewarded with a ten-minute scold. Professor Lupin had the tinniest smile on his face, you looked adorable with your cheeks rosy, embarrassed, and flustered. He stopped his own thoughts before they could escalate and cleared his throat.

"I'll escort her to the Great Hall. I'll make sure she eats a proper meal." He said after clearing his throat and smiling at the healer. 

"Of course, of course." Madame Pomfrey nodded. "Thank you for bringing her Remus." He shook his head and promised her it wasn't a big deal. She wrapped your ankle again and gave you a potion. "You need to drink this before every meal, a single sip will be enough. If you need more I will inform Professor Snape that you will be requesting this specific potion from him. Take the day off my dear, I will be sending a letter to your professors to let them know."

With another round of endless 'thank you' and promising her that you would be careful, you walked out of the infirmary feeling like a brand new person, your steps being followed by Professor Lupin. 

"I know the way to the Great Hall." You said quite dryly, more than intended. 

"I know you do. But as your Professor, I still need to look over you." His voice was calm, which you found infuriating. 

What game was he playing? Was he trying to be annoying? Was he trying to piss you off? Because he was getting just that. 'Yourprofessor' he said. You didn't know what to say, you felt so out of place at that moment. You wanted to turn around and slap him, to curse him and scream at him to leave you alone. A part of you still believed this was a huge joke but after a broken ankle and an empty stomach, reality slapped you in the face. Reaching the Great Hall, all eyes were on you two. You walked almost infuriated, hands clenched on each side and digging your heels on the floor so hard you were sure you were leaving holes, behind you, Professor Lupin walked nonchalantly, hands still in his pockets smiling at a few students who gave him flirtatious looks and giggles. Taking a seat at your house table, you rubbed your face annoying, Ariadna and Jennifer who were sitting in front of you looked at each other before looking at you.

"Are you going to tell us what happened?" Ariadna asked poking her mashed potatoes. Once you realized all the food that was presented on the large table, you realized how hungry you were. Your two friends looked at you eating like a starved woman. "We were so worried, you ran away from class and the Weasley twins told us Professor Lupin called you back to his classroom, when we arrived there, it was empty."

"I broke my ankle." You briefly replied before drinking what felt like ten liters of apple juice. 

"Are you kidding?" Jennifer exclaimed, you shook your head. "I thought you said it was only a sprain."

"It was, at the beginning." Cupping your cheek with your hand, your elbow resting on the table. "When he called me back to his office, I tripped and fell, he had to carry me to the infirmary. I also threw up in his office." That last thing slipped out from your lips and you noticed it when it was already too late.

"Bloody hell." Ariadna frowned. "You threw up from the pain?" You nodded, it was a fair excuse. "But we saw you walking?"

"You were literally stomping the ground." Jennifer joked trying to make raise your mood. 

"Madame Pomfrey healed it almost instantly, it was that or to wear a cast." You explained. "I didn't want to be a burden for you two so I chose the 'magical solution'. She also told me to take the day off, so I can skip the rest of the classes today." They seemed satisfied with your answer and didn't question you in the slightest which you were thankful for. Unable to hold yourself, you glanced at Professor Lupin who was talking with Professor McGonagall but his eyes were fixated on you, his expression being unreadable. After a well-deserved and needed meal, you excused yourself and walked to your dorm. Sitting on the edge of your bed, weighing your options, you could stay there, read a book, and rest. You could take a walk and smoke a bit which helped you relieve stress, or you could run away and live as a little witch shepherdess who owned a pack of sheep and lived in a small and cozy cottage far, far away from school and especially away from Remus Lupin.

The third option was the most tempting one, but the last time you checked you didn't own a pack of sheep or a small and cozy cottage. So you just grabbed a book and your cigarettes. 

Walking outside the castle gave you the serenity you desperately needed. Passing the greenhouses, the sun was setting and painting the world around you a soft hue of oranges, pinks, and yellows. It looked like a dream. Your walk avoided the Whomping willow on purpose, you were terrified of that thing, one time you watched how a group of third-year olds dared each other to touch the trunk and you were the one who had to take them to the infirmary with severe wounds, you never quite recover from the image of seeing two kids being punch into the air. Making your way near to the lake, you sat on a rock, lighting up your cigarette with your wand. A few puffs and you felt better, you knew it was a bad habit but you weren't able to help it. The book in your hands wasn't that interesting but any distraction was well received. After some peaceful seconds, it was just you, the wind, and the gentle sound of the lake waters. You could hear some voices in the distance, but nothing truly bothered you inside the little bubble of privacy you were building around you. 

The cigarette was resting in between your lips when you heard something approaching you, turning your head you didn't see anything, just the tall pine trees, you frowned in confusion and you heard the steps again, narrowing your eyes you saw a big, black dog emerging from behind a tree. Letting out a relieved sigh, you smiled.

"You scared me, big boy." You said while the dog approached you with cautious steps, sniffing you. "I'm not gonna hurt you, boy." You smiled again raising your hands. The dog seemed to trust you and jog its way next to you moving his tail. "Hey." you greeted him, it was bigger than it looked next to you. "Oh, you really are a big boy, are you lost?" You asked. You knew the dog wasn't able to fully understand you, but it didn't matter. 

He kept sniffing you, more specifically, the cardigan you were wearing. You rubbed behind his ears and he barked at you happily.

"Ow, you are so cute." You giggled. "I don't have any food, sorry... Just." You searched in your pockets and found the bar of chocolate Professor Lupin gave you earlier that day. "I just have chocolate, and you can't eat that." The black dog whimpered and sat next to you. "I'm sorry but you can't!"

You wondered from where it came from, you assumed it was from Hogsmeade, but again, it looked really big to be a house dog, maybe it was a hunting dog. 

"So what's your name?" You asked and the dog barked at you, you nodded. "Mmm, a very nice name, indeed. Unfortunately, I don't speak dog language, so I will have to name you..." Placing a hand under your chin, you removed the cigarette from your lips and he sniffed it. "Hey, no. You can't take this, this is dangerous for you." The dog barked at you again. "Fine, fine, I know it's bad for me too, I just had a very bad day, I need to relax somehow." Making sure the cigarette was properly cold you placed it inside the Marlboros box. "There, happy?" The dog barked louder and moved his tail and rolled, showing you his belly. "Aw, baby!" 

After another round of pats and pets, you sighed and looked at the sky. The sun was almost gone and the moon was making its way to the dark atmosphere above you with a few starts to frame its pale beauty. You looked at the black dog next to you who was laying down licking his paws. You wished you could be that carefree, two days before you were so excited for your last year in Hogwarts and now all you wanted was to disappear from the face of the earth. The dog seemed to notice your mood dropping, he licked your hand and you giggled. Your giggle turn into a choked sob and the next thing you knew was that you were crying. The dog whimpered and looked at you, you smiled sadly at him and for a split second, you could see a hint of sorrow in his eyes. Look at you, finding pity in an innocent dog. 

"I'm fine, doggy." You said petting his head while brushing down the tears with your uniform. "It was just a bad day, it's quite surprising how everything can turn upside down in a matter of seconds." Sniffing you choked another sob. Why were you crying for? No idea, it just felt right. It felt so liberating. "This was supposed to be a good year and now everything it's head over heels because I had sex with someone I didn't know it was my teacher." The words coming from your mouth still didn't feel real but it was your exact situation. "It sounds so stupid, I mean, neither of us knew, so why am I so bothered by it? I don't know. It's so embarrassing to know the same man who is grading my essays and exams, saw me naked in his bed a few nights ago." You chuckled and wiped another tear. "I mean, he is handsome, don't get me wrong, doggy. Maybe if the circumstances were different I would be more than happy to see him again you know, but not like this."

The dog looked at you but didn't bark back, he just rubbed his head on your knee. You scratched behind his ear once more and smiled.

"I can bet 10 galleons I look so fucking delusional venting to a dog." You joked and proceeded to laugh, the dog seemed to like your joke because he barked at you.

Someone shouted your name, standing up you saw the twins running their way to you, the black dog growled and ran away before you could stop him, you were taken back by his reaction, but when you felt Fred's arms around you, you forgot about him. George imitated his actions and hugged you as well. 

"How did you guys find me?" You asked smiling at them while Fred's thumbs rubbed circles in your cheeks. 

"That doesn't matter, how are you feeling?" They looked worried and you felt guilty for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"I'm fine, just a bit overwhelmed I guess." You were, it was a lot to process, at least for you. "When I said I wanted more drama in my life I didn't mean this to happen."

"Well, at least you earned a valuable lesson," George spoke softly kissing the top of your head.

"Which is...?" You asked, half annoyed half curious.

"Don't have sex with strangers you just met in a bar," George replied containing his giggles. You smiled and laughed at his joke, you knew he was only trying to make you feel better. 

"How is your ankle?" Fred asked while the three of you walked back to the castle.

"How do you know?" You asked back but you already knew the answer.

"Jennifer," George said while carrying your book. You rolled your eyes. 

"It's fine." You promised them. "I puked in his office." You said suddenly. The twins burst out in laughter, you couldn't help but giggle as well. 

All you wanted was to take a shower, finish your potions homework and sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, a fresh new start as your Mom liked to say every morning when you poured her coffee. If she only knew all the trouble you got into in just 3 days... Little did you know, the nightmare just started.