Chapter 2
Cinder let out a pitiful groan as her consciousness deemed it fit enough to finally return. It was rare that the pain got bad enough to make her faint, but it did happen every once in a while. That said, dropping like a sack before Weiss Schnee of all people was something she would have avoided if she could.
The thought forced her wide awake, her eye glancing left and right in a well-furnished room. Clearly wherever she was was no hospital, her guess was a room in a high-class resort or something similar given the splendour.
What she found odd was the IV attached to a coat hanger of all things. Since when did a hotel have something like that in a first aid kit?
“Oh, you’re up, thank the gods! You gave us quite a fright!”
Cinder would likely feel the recoil the next day of how fast her head snapped in the direction of the voice, to find Little Red standing in the doorway.
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, well, so do we, but that can wait a bit. Oh, right, my name is Ruby, Ruby Rose. Nice to meet you!” The girl barreled on, her expression a mixture of relief and sheepishness that almost made Cinder snort.
“Minischnee definitely told you who I am, Little Red. Just tell me where I am exactly, and how she managed to get this into a hotel room.” The former singer growled, lifting her hand to show the IV.
“Oh, no, this is not a hotel. It’s the apartment where Weiss or the others usually stay if they have something to do in Mantle. As for that, it’s Klein’s work. He’s out now to pick up a few things, but he has a few choice words saved up for you, I think…”
Cinder couldn’t help a shudder and hid her face in her hand. She could never admit out loud, but she was fond of the head butler of the Schnees. He was always decent with her… but not even the gods would be able to save her from the coming admonition.
“Just great.” She snarked, pushing herself up in an attempt to sit and crawl to the edge of the bed.
Ruby was there next to her instantly to help, but Cinder shrugged her off and eventually succeeded by herself after some struggle. Her scars itched from the unfamiliar material of her shirt. Cinder’s eye widened.
“These are definitely not my clothes! Where is my stuff, my crutch, my shopping bag?!” There was real anger in her voice now, apparently menacing enough to make the girl gulp and take half a step back.
“Those rags of yours are drying after a wash they sorely needed. And if I were you, I’d keep the vitriol from Ruby after all the help she gave you.” It was Weiss who answered. The younger Schnee sister made a beeline to Little Red’s side and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, while glaring daggers at Cinder.
“Bahh, it’s not like I asked for any of that! But if she is so into it, bringing my bottle of whiskey here from wherever you’ve stashed it would be most welcome.” Cinder scoffed in turn, her lips twisting into a vicious smile as Ruby was almost hiding behind Weiss now.
“Tch, that thing is not even worthy of that name, it is more akin to poison than alcohol. The Cinder Fall I knew had better taste than that.” The younger Schnee replied, but regretted her words instantly.
“The woman you thought you knew is GONE! She died in the crash alongside the fool who caused it! And excuse me for not giving a shit about your tastes when picking the one thing within my means to help in enduring the godsdamned pain I have to deal with every second of my cursed existence!” Cinder snarled, tearing the IV out with a yank of her arm as she pushed herself to her unsteady feet, her tone pure venom and pain.
“Don’t even try to pretend you care! You’ve made your opinion clear time and time again just outside of my hospital door, Shcnee! Did you really think it would prevent me from hearing your shouting matches?!”
The look of pure shock and horror on the red-and-white duo’s face only added fuel to the fire of her rage.
“Or what, do you want to gloat that you were right?! That Cinder Fall is a pathetic drunkard, a waste of everyone’s time, a cripple who will never amount to anything again?! That I’m a leech who only eats up money without giving anything in turn, and not worthy to be even in the same room with your sister?!” The former singer ignored the way Weiss staggered as if stabbed in the chest.
She was also too caught up in hurling every inch of hurt, insult and all the self hate she had kept close to her heart for so long to notice that a fourth person entered the room with hurried steps.
“Yes, you were right! Are you happy now?!“ Cinder roared with a heaving chest, her hand clutched over her erratically beating heart.
“Cinder, that’s not true at all!”
The scarred woman froze at the sound. That voice… it was the same as the one haunting her dreams even after all this time during her brief hours of sleep. Slowly turning her head, she sucked in a strangled breath, eye wide.
With the sight dousing the fires fueling completely, the ability to keep standing by herself was gone as well. Cinder only had time to grunt as her bad leg gave out again, her body landing on the bed with a thud.
“No… No, this is not possible! There’s no way she is here…! This must be a hallucination, or a dream! That has to be it, my head messing with me by showing something that will never happen again…” Cinder muttered, followed by a small yelp as she flinched away from the outstretched hands of the apparition of Winter Schnee, unable to maintain eye contact - and missing the heartbroken look of the eldest Schnee sibling.
“Cinder, you are bleeding! I just want to help! Please, at least let me bandage your hand… please, Ashes !”
To hear that nickname was one of Cinder’s deepest wishes, so even if this was a damned dream conjured by her pathetic mind, her body obeyed without question. She was still as a statue as the calloused fingers of her ex fussed over the spot where she tore the IV out, gently wrapping her hand in fresh bandages.
It took her a few seconds to realize that the treatment was complete, yet her hand was still in the firm yet careful grasp of Winter’s own. For someone conjured up by her mind, the touch felt very real.
“Ashes, do you… do you really believe what you have said about me, and about yourself?”
Cinder’s head snapped up at the question, her gaze meeting Winters’, her heart filling with regret. She just couldn’t bear to see that hurt look on her ex-girlfriend’s face, even if she wasn’t real.
“Of course I do… If my guess is right, considering Minischnee’ hate for me, I’m probably still out cold on that street corner. For the rest, I didn’t need to hear the arguments on the other side of my hospital door back then to know that she’s right… and I’d only be a burden. Tch, as if anyone would want to put up with a useless cripple with a criminal record…” Cinder coughed a little and shook her head.
“As for the real Winter, she’s probably happy somewhere with a new partner, someone worthy of her.” The former singer had to pause and hiss at a relatively mild wave of pain surging through her body before continuing. She ignored the hands hovering close to her shoulders and the worried expression of the apparition.
“Me, I’d have just dragged her down, would’ve ruined everything. She deserved better than that, than being at each other's throats with her sister constantly. The thought of her ruining her chance at a proper family again just for a waste of space like m-wah?!” The former singer yelped as she was suddenly yanked forward by her shirt.
“You could not be more mistaken, you utter fool of a woman!” Winter shouted, her expression a mixture of myriad emotions, tears falling freely from her eyes as she held onto Cinder’s clothes with a white-knuckled grip.
“Do you seriously think I could be happy without you?! My “proper family”, as you put it, does not exist if the only person who truly matters to me is missing! Did you even think about how I would feel after finding that note?! I was so scared when I almost lost you in the crash… And when I finally dared to hope we could start the long road of recovery, together, you were gone!”
The anger slowly drained out of the elder Schnee sister’s tone while she was talking, replaced by raw sadness and suffering, causing Cinder’s heart to clench painfully in her chest. By now it was obvious that despite whatever delusion her mind tried to protect itself with, the shaken woman standing before her was very real. Winter was right there, close to falling apart, and it was her fault.
“At first I harbored some minuscule hope that you just needed time to process and would come back or at least contact me soon, but as days turned into weeks then months with no news… It felt like a part of me shriveled up and died each day without you!”
The Schnee’s shoulders began to shake, but Cinder didn’t dare to move, to reach out to make contact. She wanted to offer whatever meagre comfort she could, but was paralyzed with the possibility of Winter rejecting it.
“Still, I refused to give up looking for you, even when things got… bad. Thankfully we got that tip when we did, and everyone volunteered to come. Only mother is not here -she wanted to as well-, as someone had to remain and keep things running. Then I finally got the call that Weiss and Miss Rose found you, only to see your prone form brought in…” Winter paused to take a deep breath, to keep her voice from crumbling, if barely.
“For a moment I thought you were dead! And now, listening to all that self-loathing nonsense, as if your very survival was a mistake… Please, don’t ever talk like that again! The mere thought of you gone forever… I-I can’t bear it!”
Cinder’s eye widened in panic as Winter collapsed to her knees with a choked sob, desperately clutching the scarred woman’s shirt with shaking hands and broke down completely.
“I… I’m sorry, Snowflake.”
If anything, the nickname just made Winter cry even harder, releasing the cloth from her grip but wrapped her arms around Cinder’s waist instead like someone holding on for their life.
The former singer frantically tried to come up with something -anything- that could help in calming Winter down, desperate to keep silent even if the tight hold was adding to her pain. She had no right to complain after what she put the Schnee through, but couldn’t keep a small hiss from escaping her lips.
Winter released her instantly, jerking her hands away as if she had no idea where it would be okay to touch.
“S-Shit! Sorry Ashes, I-I didn’t mean to aggravate your condition. I-” The Schnee sniffed, her eyes red and puffy, her stance exuding bone-deep exhaustion. Despite all that, her sole concern was about the well-being of the person sitting in front of her.
“Snowflake, it’s fine. You did nothing wrong, today’s just… not a good day, that’s all.” Cinder huffed, allowing the barest hint of a lopsided smile to grace her features. She really didn’t deserve this woman.
“Now that I think about it, when did Little Red and Minischee disappear?” She asked after a brief glance around the room and found it empty of people save for the two of them.
“I believe Miss Rose dragged Weiss out shortly after I joined the discussion. She is surprisingly perceptive that way.”
Cinder sighed in relief -though she was unsure how thick the walls were, but that was a problem for her future self-, but furrowed her brows as she got a better look at Winter. The elder Schnee sister looked dead on her feet.
“I… I know we still need a proper talk, but… Honestly, you look like shit and I could really use another nap. What do you say, Snowflake?” She gestured at her bed with a tilt of her head after a moment of hesitation, extending her only hand slowly to give Winter plenty of time and opportunity to refuse it.
The silence stretched and was almost unbearable when the Schnee finally snapped out of her shock, but it allowed plenty of time for the former singer’s mind to go haywire.
‘Fuck, was that too soon? Why did I even offer-’ Cinder’s spiraling thoughts were vanquished when Winter took the offered limb with surprising gentleness as she rose from the floor.
“Are… Are you sure, Ashes? I don’t want to cause further pain by accidentally jostling you.”
“Wouldn’t have offered otherwise, Snowflake.” Cinder allowed a spark of her old snark into her tone, and was rewarded by the roll of Winter’s eyes and a small sigh.
Winter surprised her by simply discarding her surely expensive blazer where she stood, her heels joining the pile as she kicked them off without pause.
When the Schnee climbed under the covers, Cinder started to reconsider whether this was really a good idea, but her body made the decision before her mind could by gravitating towards the other woman.
“Would… Would it be okay to hold you, Ashes?” Winter appeared to be hesitating as well, her arms already extended partway but it was clear she wouldn’t finish the movement without her say-so.
Cinder snorted and nodded, allowing Winter to pull her close, resting her own hand on the Schnee’s before closing her eye.
Even after all this time, they still fit together like matching pieces of a puzzle. The former singer wanted to chuckle at the sudden feeling of safety and contentment she felt, but really, she should have known. After all, Winter was the only one whose presence could grant her such a blessing as peace of mind.
Sure, they were far from fine and the coming discussion was definitely not going to be enjoyable or easy, but she could finally rest properly for a night and she would be a fool not to take advantage of that.
“Sweet dreams, Ashes.” Winter’s whisper made her smile in spite -or maybe because- of everything.
“Sleep well, Snowflake.” Cinder murmured in return.
As sleep was about to claim her, Cinder thought she felt something at the top of her head, like a hesitant kiss being dropped into her hair. But she may have just imagined it.