Chapter 13
Sirius sat on the floor of the library, in one of the back corners behind a tall shelf, tucked underneath the crook of Remus’ arm. They had finished their tutoring session and Sirius got caught up on all his assignments. After all their school books were put away Remus immediately took his hand and led him behind the books, it was like watching switch flip, Teacher-Remus to Boyfriend-Remus (though he was still unsure whether or not he was allowed to call him that). After a few quick kisses, Remus pulled him down to the floor and they fell into their natural position. Remus’ hand was wrapped around his shoulder and he had started to flick the dangly sword earring Sirius was wearing on that ear, he seemed to find it amusing.
“How many piercings do you have?” Remus asked.
“Hm,” Sirius raised his hand to count. “My two lobes were done by some guy from my old art class in his basement, and then I got my helix and conch at a professional establishment with Reg, so - four.”
“They’re nice,” Remus observed.
“Nice?” Sirius teased, tilting his head up so Remus could see his quirked eyebrow.
“Good, pretty - hot. I like the way they look on you alright?’ Remus fumbled, exasperated. Sirius propped himself up and kissed his jaw.
“Once I found they were pretty easy to hide from parents I loved getting them and finding new jewelry,” Sirius said as he settled back down into Remus's chest.
“Hmm, I always wanted my nose pierced.” Remus reminisced.
Sirius’ eyes lit up.
“You should definitely do that. I think it would look - nice.” Sirius smiled.
“Well, maybe I will,” Remus smirked and Sirius felt as though he might actually combust.
“You have to take me when you do.”
“Really, do I?” Remus teased.
“Yes, because if you just show up one day like that I might die, and as you're -” Sirius stopped himself before he uttered the word he was so afraid to use. Hoping that he could just naturally pull off a sudden abrupt end to his rambling
“Boyfriend?” Remus questioned and Sirius shrunk into himself, suddenly very nervous.
‘Maybe? If uh, if that's what we are?’ Sirius finally asked the question that had been plaguing his mind for weeks, though he was desperately dreading the answer.
“Well of course we're boyfriends, Sirius.’ Remus tightened his grip around Sirius with an assuring squeeze, the heavy weight that had been settling in his stomach immediately lifted as Remus’ laugh filled their empty nook of the library. It was the most beautiful sound, the perfect kind of laugh that didn't make him feel like he was being mocked, but Remus just being Remus. Not making this conversation a big deal, and just adoring all of Sirius.
“Ok well, I just need to make sure,” Sirius said matter of factly, pouting dramatically.
Remus kissed the top of his head. “We’re dating Sirius, you're my boyfriend - if you’d like to be.”
“I’d very much like to be”. Sirius smiled.
“Glad that's settled then,” Remus concluded and reached the shelf next to them. Trailing his fingers along the spines before pulling out an old leather-bound book. It was some title Sirius didn't recognize, but he flipped to the first page and started reading out loud, in a quiet were-in-a-shared-space whisper. Sirius closed his eyes and got lost in the story, all worries leaving his thoughts.
***
Sirius walked back to his room after dinner with a tupperware of dinner shoved in his book bag. He loved having Reg with him. He loved seeing him every day. He loved being able to go to his dorm and talk to him in between his classes. He loved that he was safe and that he could see how he was doing. He loved how he was getting along with all his friends, especially James. He loved the weird, sarcastic, bookish friendship he formed with Remus.
As much as he loved it, he knew it couldn't last. Regulus was missing loads of school, and even though his parents hadn't done anything yet, it was just a matter of time before it all came crashing down, it was not a long-term solution and Sirius needed to think of one. Remus had helped some, helped him brainstorm some possibilities. Though it was only to a certain extent, Remus understood some, but not all, of what the Black brothers were going through, and Sirius could only understand some of what Regulus was going through. At the end of the day, the final course of action was for Regulus to decide, all Sirius could do is suggest ideas and help formulate plans.
“Dinner is served.” Sirius smiled, pulling out the still-warm container and cutlery rolled up in a serviette.
“Thanks.” Regulus took off his headphones and adjusted his position on his bed.
Regulus unplugged his headphones from Sirius’ laptop and continued playing what he was watching for the both of them. The witty banter of Lorelai and Rory Gilmore filled the room.
“Gilmore Girls. Really?” Sirius said, mock judging. It was the ultimate comfort show and he had no place to actually judge, though it was fun to tease.
“Shut up,” Regulus mumbled, mouth full of mashed potatoes.
After the container was empty and abandoned, Regulus broached the topic they’d both been nervous about.
“I found Andromeda,” Regulus said and Sirius let out a breath of relief. When they started looking into other options besides Reg going back to the house, their cousin Andromeda came up. They always loved their cousin growing up, she was fun and free and dyed her hair purple once. One day she stopped coming to family gatherings and no one ever properly answered their questions about what had happened. They assume she ran away from the family and now they wanted to know how she did it, how she severed her ties so cleanly and completely, and maybe even find a solution to their problem. James’ parents had some friends working in the government and Reg was able to get a phone number.
“Really, how is she? Alive? Happy?” Sirius deeply admired Andromeda and hoped that the elaborate fantasy of her escape that they imagined for her held some truth to it.
“Good, alive, happy. Married. That's why she left. The family cut her out, for ‘marrying the wrong sort’.”
'Oooh, marrying for love, very against the marrying for status and money ways of the Black family.’
“Exactly. She was a little bit older than us, in her twenties, so they got engaged and managed to stay with his parents for a while before moving out. So there was no magic secret to escaping the Black family, they forced her out.”
“Damn, do you know anybody who can be a good husband?” Sirius joked but Reg barely chuckled, the tension too high, the stress too much.
“She did, uh, offer for me to stay with her. She’s close enough to my school and just had a baby so would appreciate extra help around her house.”
Sirius let you a crazy laugh, like a screaming cry of relief and amazement.
“Ha! That's perfect.”
“Yeah?” Regulus asked, still looking unsure.
“Yeah! You get a place to stay and can go back to your school. You’ll catch up in no time and everything will be back to normal.’
“Yeah it’ll be good, but not forever, I don't want to overstay or annoy them.”
“Hey,” Sirius said softly, reaching out and gently squeezing Regulus’ shoulder. “They asked you to live with them fully aware of your situation. Once I'm out of here, we’ll get a flat together, then that way I’ll never have to go back to the damned house either. I saved all that money from Uncle Alfred for that exact plan.”
“Right, right..” Regulus nodded his head though his voice was distant and airy, as if he was still not fully convicted.
“It’ll all work out.” Sirius smiled, the brick of dread at the idea of Regulus having to go back finally disappeared. He’ll be safe. He’ll be ok. He’ll be far away from them. Though waiting for their reaction to all of this was like waiting for the other shoe to drop, they were being too quiet, something was coming.
***
James found Regulus sitting on the front lawn, under the giant old willow tree. The sun was shining through all the lush long leaves. He was reading a book, and he couldn't see the title because he had it resting on his legs. As he walked over to greet him he got overwhelmingly happy at the fact that he could do this. Reg was right in front of him, a real human person, whose face got red in the sun, whose dark curls tangled together in the breeze. He had to remind himself of the situation, Reg was not here for pleasure. He shouldn't be this happy to see him. He didn't know why really, but that didn't matter. James was a flurry of contradicting emotions. Happy to see Reg. Overwhelmed and excited at seeing him in person for the very first time. Distressed and sad that it was so sudden, that things became so bad that he had to run away all the way to Scotland. He tried to squash all of his excitement, focusing all his energy on making sure Regulus was ok.
It had been a few days since he first arrived, and things have definitely gotten better. They had got into a sort of routine. Sirius brings food in the mornings when James had practice, James visits later in the day when Sirius had his studying with Remus. Reg would stay in the dorm most of the time, partly scared to leave and get caught, partly because he was exhausted. All he did for the first couple of days was sleep and watch movies. Eventually, he slowly settled, leaving the rooms at peak times when the hallways were the most crowded, reading more books and engaging more in conversation. It's been almost a week now, and Reg seemed to enjoy being outside, under the willow tree.
James finished his rugby and his morning classes and immediately made his way over. It's become another new routine, James spends every free hour with him. He was uncertain with pretty much everything surrounding Regulus. The only thing he really knew was that he likes spending time with him. They enjoyed each other's company, and for the moment, that was all they needed to know.
“Mind if I join you?” James asked as he approached as if he hadn't done this exact same thing for the past two days. Regulus rolled his eyes and oh god, it was just so much better than seeing a little emoji over text.
He folded his page and closed his book, and pulled his sweater over his hands. He was so… just so. James just couldn't get enough, he could just stare at him all day and never get tired of it. Reg would probably hate it, so he wouldn't, but he definitely could.
“How was practice?” Regulus asked and James started explaining everything, the new plays he wanted to try and the drills he used for training. He caught himself rambling and stopped talking but Regulus didn’t groan or complain; he just stared at him with an unreadable smile and a soft look in his eyes. James didn’t want to mention anything about it because he didn’t want it to go away, afraid to be too affectionate or admiring, worried he might scare Reg away.
Instead of saying how beautiful he was, tucking the stay curl that had fallen in his eyes behind his ear, and softly kissing his cheek, James sat down next to Reg and rested his back against the trunk of the tree. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth from the sun soak into his skin.
“I found my cousin,” Regulus announced after a few quiet minutes of relaxation. “The one I was telling you about, turns out she married someone my family didn’t approve of and they completely cut her out.”
“So she didn’t just disappear. Well, that’s good, was she open to seeing you?” James asked as he opened his eyes and turned his head to face Regulus.
“Yeah, she offered to let me stay with them. They have a newborn baby and said they could use my help.” Reg spoke with an unreliable expression, he seemed so neutral. Though James could tell it was just a front, he was keeping things calm but he was sure there were a million emotions swirling around inside him right now.
“That’s awesome” James exclaimed, he had been worried about Regulus and his housing situation and was about to offer his own home to him.
“I will need to get over my general distaste for infants but I think I’ll manage.” Regulus gave a small close-lipped smile.
“I think so too.” James smiled back.
“Say thank you again to your parents, I wouldn’t have been able to find her without their connection.”
“Of course, they’re always happy to help,” James replied sincerely. His parents were some of the best people he’s ever met, kind and caring, he had the best childhood filled with love and adventure.
Regulus sighed. “I just can’t even imagine it.”
“Imagine what?”
“Not living with them. Finally being properly out of the house.” Regulus said, his voice small and weary.
“You’re doing it now aren’t you?” James encouraged.
“I guess, but the first couple days I felt like they were going to bust down the doors and drag me back, and when they didn’t… I didn’t think I had anywhere to go.”
“Well, now you do.” James beamed. “And now that we know it works, you can come back and visit.”
“Yeah, yeah I will,” Regulus said in a lazy way that happens when you stay out in the sun. He moved and rested his head on James’ shoulder and closed his eyes. The tree’s rippled bark was digging into three separate spots in his back, and an ant had started to crawl on his ankles, but James had never been more comfortable.