Chapter 11
Remus opened the door to his dorm, his other hand holding Sirius’.
“I know you’ve already been in here but allow me to make the formal introductions. Charles, this is Sirius, Sirius this is Charles.” Remus said with a lopsided grin, he twirled his hand towards the record player pretending to be some old-timey chivalrous gentleman.
“Charles?” Sirius directed his question to Remus. “You named your record player Charles.”
“Well, doesn't he look like a Charles?” Remus gestured again to the player situated between the two beds. It was a lovely piece of equipment, with old brown wood, and black shiny buttons. It seemed genuine, not some cheap remake bought just for decoration, this was meant to be used, crafted for a beautiful sound.
“I guess you’re right. A pleasure to meet you, Charles.” Sirius stuck out his hand pretending to shake hands with an inanimate object, feeling slightly stupid. Though when he turned to see Remus’ grin, it squashed any feelings of self-consciousness.
“Oh, I think I’ve fallen in love.” Sirius spotted the record collection inside the small cubby tucked inside the table the player was situated on. He fell onto his knees and held out his arms dramatically.
It wasn’t large by any means, but it felt huge to Sirius. About twenty vinyl records were displayed proudly in the middle of the room. Sirius thought of the few records he found at charity shops and such, hidden under his bed or kept tucked away in his closet.
Sirius flicked through the records as Remus sat beside him. He pulled out Ziggy Stardust, a classic, and placed it on the turntable, cherishing the sound of the crackle when he placed the needle down.
Five Years started playing from the speakers and Sirius settled himself on the floor, his back up against the side of Remus’ bed. Remus sat up and opened the window closest to them, letting a cool breeze blow through the room.
“What’s that for?” Sirius asked, feeling a chill run through him. He hugged his arms around himself.
“So I could do this.” Remus pulled out a carton from his back pocket and slipped a cigarette in between his teeth. He walked over to his desk, taking a sweater that hung off the back. He threw it at Sirius, it hit him softly in the face before falling into his lap.
Sirius pulled the sweater over his head, feeling the soft cotton and getting an overwhelming smell of Remus. Remus sat down next to him while still staying close to the window. Sirius naturally found himself tucked under Remus’ arm, resting his head on his chest. It seemed to be a usual occurrence these days, somehow they always seemed to be entangled in each other. Remus took a long drag of his cigarette before lowering his hand to Sirius's mouth, Sirius trying to move as little as possible, lifted his chin to reach and took a quick puff before falling back into Remus. Once the record stopped, Sirius crawled over to change its side. He made his way back over to Remus, sitting on his lap, resting his arms around his shoulders. They started lazily making out until the record started to skip, and they realized they would be late for dinner.
***
So Sirius was dating Remus Lupin.
Maybe.
At least he thought he might be.
They had been spending a lot of time with each other; not just for school work, but to just be around each other's company. They would go on long walks around the campus, Remus showing Sirius little secret shortcuts and hidden spaces. They would talk about music, books, and their friends, and Sirius learned about Remus's family. He lives with his father and his mother died when he was very young. Remus didn't like to talk about his father, he said he was never around at home much and Sirius decided not to press, he never wanted to talk about his family either. Though Remus would happily talk about his mum, just like Sirius would ramble about Regulus. In the past few weeks, Sirius had gotten to know Hope Lupin quite well. She had loved to cook but was terrible at it, Remus would laugh, recounting times when Hope would inevitably not follow the recipe and something would burn or taste foul. Remus told him about all the sunny days of his childhood, spent out in the garden with Hope, planting spring flowers and pulling weeds. He shared his memories with a sad smile, and Sirius learned it was bittersweet, remembering a lovely person you'd lost.
On the other days, they wouldn't say anything at all. When things became too much or they just got tired, Remus and Sirius would laze in the grass on the front lawn. Depending on the weather, they would either sleep in the sunshine or bring out a blanket and cups of tea, stay huddled together, and watch the sun slowly set behind the hills. They would watch movies, old favourites or something neither of them had seen, squished together in Sirius’ small single bed.
There was even that time Remus snuck him into the kitchens late at night to bake chocolate chip cookies. They spent the night stifling loud laughs and clumsily dancing around the kitchen.
It was all things that he thought boyfriends would do. Though Sirius couldn't be sure. Books and television were one thing, but Sirius had never seen a real-life relationship, assuming his parents were not doing things correctly. Was this just what you did with a fling? They had said they want to be exclusive… did that mean they were dating? They hadn’t explicitly said the word boyfriend though - did declaring to not see anyone else mean the same as being boyfriends? Was he overthinking it? Probably. Sirius was a nervous idiot.
He just really liked Remus. He was scared if he came off too strong it would scare him away.
He fell backward onto his bed with a large sigh. Why did his brain have to go and overcomplicate things?
His phone buzzed and continued to as he pulled it out of his pocket. Seemingly frantic texts from Reg flooded his screen.
hey
um i know you were joking and everything before
and i was a bit of a dick
but i'm on a train
coming to you
which is fucking stupid i know
but uh
things got worse
and i need to
i don't know
just
im sorry
fuck
Sirius quickly read through the messages as they continued to appear, finding Reg’s name icon to call him. He picked up almost immediately.
“Sirius.” He said in a breath, almost pleading. Sirius ached, worried for his brother, sick with dread thinking of what could’ve happened to him, what they could’ve done to him.
“Reg. I’m here. What's going on?” Sirius’ voice was shaky, he tried to keep a calm front, but fear crept into his voice.
“Sorry. It all just got… and I didn't know what to do… I'm getting off at the next stop, ignore my texts, it's fine. I was being stupid.” Reg’s voice was quiet and rushed, his words all stringing together.
“No, it's not fine. Please come here. I need to see you.” Sirius was desperate, something was wrong and Reg needed to be with him. Now.
“But it's like a school day… you’re busy and -”
“Doesn't matter.” Sirius cut off Regulu’s panicked voice. “Please just stay on the train. And keep me on the line.”
“Just - they’re going to be mad,” Reg whispered, he sounded exhausted.
“They won't come all the way out here, you’ll be safe.” Sirius tried to reassure.
“Yeah.” Reg let out a heavy breath. “Fuck. Everything got really messed up”
“Yeah.” Sirius was nervous to hear the whole story. All he knew was that he would hate it and that Reg needed to be away from them. “It’ll be ok. You’ll be here at it’ll be ok.”
“Ok,” Regulus replied, though he didn't sound convinced.
They didn't talk much after that, everything that needed to be explained could not be expressed over the phone, but Sirius still stayed on the line. Reg would make the odd remark about something he saw; a lone cow or funny-looking cloud, but all the unknowns of that day's events was a giant block to any flow of casual conversation. Eventually, his breath evened out, steady and slow, and Sirius knew he had fallen asleep. It brought him some peace, knowing Reg had a moment of pause, some time to rest. Sirius was a bundle of nerves and anger, fearful of what his brother was about to face, and what he had already.