Chapter 7
Almost a month into his first year at Hogwarts and Sirius had actually started to enjoy school. The teachers were genuinely helpful and most seemed to care about their students. Remus had helped a lot too. Teaching him little tricks and tips to help him stay focused in class and stay on top of his coursework. Most of his subjects were bearable, he was no scientist or maths genius but one thing he truly enjoyed was art. Mrs. Trelawney was a chaotic, frazzled teacher who taught his art course. The classroom was covered in paint splatters, sharpie doodles on the desks, and layers of students' old artwork covered the walls. It seemed as though she never took any of them down, but kept adding more. He was in the class with Marlene, and once they were introduced to each other at the rugby match, they made a pint of sitting next to Sirius. It was much appreciated on his part, he didn't think he’d be bold enough to just get up and switch seats, but he was glad Marlene enjoyed his company enough to do that. He enjoyed theirs. After their first class, they discovered that they get along great. Marlene was super talented at drawing, her fingers seemed to be perpetually covered in charcoal. She could do this crazy hyper-realism but also these super trippy abstract pieces that Sirius would get lost in if he stared at them for too long. It was discovered that they both dreamt of owning a motorcycle, listened to Black Sabbath, and had an embarrassing Tumblr blog in their early teen years.
“Shit shit fucking shit,” Marlene said, storming into the classroom. They threw off their bag and flung themselves down next to Sirius. “I forgot about the assignment.” She put her elbows on the desk and buried her face in her hands.
“Like - you didn't do it at all?” Sirius said leaning his head on his hand and looking questioningly at Marlene.
She ran her hands threw her blonde hair, it was obviously bleached and dark at the roots and her bangs were growing out so they almost covered her eyes. Yet somehow it looked completely intentional, like a cool messy rocker.
“I was so focused on that project for Slughorn that I haven't done literally anything else.”
“We had weeks to do that though.”
“Yeah well, I left that one to the last minute. Literally stayed up all night, I blacked out around four am and woke up the next day with a finished project.”
“Well, shit,” Sirius said, he lifted up his bag and started rummaging through it. The assignment was a pretty simple one; do anything you want with watercolors. It was an introduction to the medium and Sirius really enjoyed using it. He was new to watercolors but found they were pretty forgiving. Blobs of color you couldn't control but could easily layer over. He had found a spot on the lawn and had spent the day listening to music and painting a part of the school and the landscape behind it. He did a few versions before creating something he liked.
“Here, you still have time.” Sirius handed Marlene his pad of paper and she quickly ran to get paints and water. In one fast blur, Marlene revealed a blue blob on the page. It was a navy, indigo color, dark in some spots and lighter, almost white in others.
“Yeah, alright.” Sirius shrugged.
“Hey, we were given creative liberties.”
“Yeah, maybe a little too much” Sirius laughed.
“No such thing. I’m the next Jackson Pollock.” Marlene smirked and began to tidy up their table. Just as she sat back down, Mrs. Trelawney entered the room, necklaces jangling together like bells and a long skirt swishing behind her.
“Alright, hello my lovely creatives.” Trelawney clasped her hands together and swayed to the front of the class. The students mumbled a noncoherent greeting, most kids didn't even look up from their phones. “We’re going to jump in head first today and do a bit of a gallery walk for all of your projects. We’ll wander around the room as a collective group and each artist will have a chance to introduce their piece.”
Sirius’ stomach dropped. He thought he was just going to hand it in. Introduce it? What the fuck was he supposed to say? The thought of the whole class staring at him while he had to talk about his art made him want to run out of the room and never come back. But then Marlene smiled and nudged him, making a quick remark on some students' project that was clearly plagiarism from a famous artist, and his nerves settled, slightly. He’s always been a naturally anxious person, in front of people, and large crowds. Growing up with all of England watching your parents' every move instilled a sense of ever-present judgment and fear of criticism. He tried to play it off though, in his appearance and really forced attitude of aloof coolness.
Chairs started to speak on the hardwood floor and paper rustled as students started to display their work. Some lay their papers out on the desks, while others went so far as to tack them up to the wall. They started at the far end of the classroom and then went around in a circle. Sirius briefly explained his work, getting a nod of approval from Trelawney. When they got to Marlene, the teacher’s eyebrows raised in confusion. Marlene just stood next to her blob proudly, radiating assuredness and confidence.
“I’ve titled this piece Life Source, and meant it to be a visual depiction of water. It’s a bit abstract since water is so many things. It’s the lake, and oceans, in our glasses, pouring out of taps and falling from the sky. It’s all around us and I wanted to show that fluidity in my work.” Marlene smiled proudly as Trelawney clapped.
“And I really get that, Marlene. Wonderful work, I'm truly moved.”
Marlene said their thanks and smugly nudged Sirius as they walked to the next student.
“Told you. Jackson Pollock.” Marlene smiled.
“Truly, I'm impressed. Exceptional bullshitting skills.”
“Why thank you very much.” Marlene jokingly bowed in appreciation before they turned their attention to another student's art.
***
After classes, Sirius went back to his room. Alone. Again.
Even though he felt like he was making progress; getting to know Marlene, James, and all of Remus's friends. They were still Remus's friends first, and whatever weird tension was going on between them was not helping. When they meet in the library, Remus stayed professional. He put on his teaching voice, calm and reasonable. They stick to the topic of school and barely make eye contact. It hurt Sirius, knowing how badly he screwed everything up. He should’ve just stayed still, he got all the signals messed up and now he couldn’t fix it. He would’ve been perfectly happy just staying friends with Remus. He was funny, not funny like cracking jokes but witty and sarcastic. He had great taste in music and Sirius desperately wanted to see his record collection. He would’ve been totally fine doing all of that platonically if that was what Remus wanted. He didn’t think it was, but it must’ve been. Why else would he be acting like this?
Sirius turned up the volume so that music was blaring loud in his headphones. He didn’t want to think anymore.
He tried calling Reg but he didn’t pick up.
He sat on his bed and started to braid his hair. It was long enough now that French braids were doable. His hair was naturally a bit wavy, dark, and very thick. It took him ages to figure out how to do it himself, but sleeping in braids was much more enjoyable.
He just tied off the second end when there was a silent pause in his music, the purgatory in between songs. It was then he realized there was a knocking on his door. He got up and found James smiling outside his room.
“Uh, hi?” Sirius said, pushing one headphone behind his ear so that he could hear James.
“Hey!” James said, eyes darting around him. He was fidgeting with his hands. He was holding a bag, the plastic crinkling under his fingers.
“Can I help you?” Sirius raised his eyebrow in question.
“Can I, uh, come in?” James smiled, eyebrows furrowed together nervously.
“Now?” Sirius looked down at himself, he was wearing a t-shirt so big that it went down to his knees, the kind with the realistic airbrushed animals. The one he had was navy blue with a wolf. He bought it as a joke with Reg ages ago, but it was very comfortable.
James nodded. “I have ice cream.” He lifted up the bag as if to show proof.
“What flavor?” Sirius already knew he would let James in. He was incredibly lonely and hungry.
“Chocolate peanut butter.”
“Alright.” Sirius turned and waved James in.
“I know it’s getting kind of late. Sorry. I’m just feeling kind of restless. Remus went to bed early and... oh shit, you probably want to sleep. I can go. You can keep the ice cream though -“
“James. Relax. I wasn’t planning on falling asleep anytime soon.”
“Oh. Ok. Didn’t think how selfish my intentions were until I realized it’s almost midnight.” James anxiously played with the handles of the plastic bag holding the ice cream. Sirius had never seen him like this before. James - rugby star, outgoing, water fight winner. It made Sirius like him even more. He felt more reachable now, more relatable.
“Not selfish. Want to watch a film?” James nodded and they set up a makeshift fort on the floor, with soft blankets, and lots of pillows. James didn’t have any bowls, they just ate the ice cream from the carton, passing it back and forth. They played NottingHill on Sirius’ laptop, which they both agreed was one of the best romantic comedies of all time. Sirius wasn’t going to ask why James chose to come to him or why he couldn’t sleep, he knew better than anyone that sometimes you just need a distraction. And Sirius appreciated the company.
Halfway through the film, Hugh Grant was wearing scuba goggles to the cinema and Sirius' phone started to ring. Regulus' contact photo, him all sunny and smiling in sunglasses by the beach, appeared on his screen.
“Oh, it’s my brother,” Sirius said and James paused the movie.
“Go on, answer it.” James encouraged, and Sirius did just that.
“Hello?” Regulus' voice came from the phone. “You tried to call?”
“Oh yeah, I was just checking in. I’m with James now.” Sirius turned his phone so that James was in the frame, waving and smiling brightly.
“Hi, Regulus.”
“Hello, James,” Regulus said and a small smile pulled on his lips.
“We're just watching a film. Would you like to join?” James asked.
“Depends, what film?” Regulus raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Notting Hill,” Sirius replied, already knowing even Reg’s stuck-up film taste would approve of the classic.
“Ah, Hugh Grant.” Reg sighed blissfully. “Alright then, tell me the time stamp and I’ll play it over here.”
James told him where they’d left off and the camera shook as Regulus’ settled.
“I recommend ice cream or some sort of sweet to really enhance the watching experience,” James remarked, waving his spoon around. He was staring at Regulus with such visible affection, it made Sirius's heart hurt a little bit. He loved that only after a few conversations that James saw the wonderful Reg that Sirius knew.
“Hmmm, I have crisps. Would that suffice?” Reg asked in a playful, mocking tone.
“It’ll have to do,” James smirked. They counted down and pressed play at the same time so that they were all watching the movie together.
When Julia Roberts spoke her iconic monologue in front of all the press, Sirius noticed James tearing up.
When the movie ended, James sniffled and rubbed his eyes.
“Bloody beautiful that was.”
“Are you crying, James?” Regulus asked, his voice laced with a confusing mix of concern and mocking.
Sirius was expecting a quick remark, or James blatantly disagreeing. Instead, he looked right at Regulus.
“Yeah, I am. All Julia Roberts wanted was to be with Hugh Grant and that scene on the bench? That’s pure fucking love. Emotional stuff.”
“Alright,” Regulus laughed, arms up in surrender. “I’m not arguing with you.”
“You shouldn’t, I will defend this movie until the day I die,” James said. “Even after that.”
“You’d defend Notting Hill as a good movie from beyond the grave?” Regulus prompted.
“Absolutely I would,” James said, beaming.
By that point, it was almost 2 am, and they all had school the next day, though none of them were willing to be the ones to call it a night. They put on another movie, settling deeper into the blankets, and by the time the credits rolled they were all asleep. James and Sirius were still on the floor, Regulus was still on the phone.
***
Sirius woke to James' alarm.
“What the fuck? It’s not even 6 yet.” He rubbed his eyes, as he looked at his phone, Regulus still on the screen, undisturbed.
“Sorry, early practice,” James said, already putting on his shoes. He whispered goodbye before quickly leaving, slowly pulling the door shut behind him.
Sirius groaned, still from sleeping on the floor. He moved back to his bed, bringing Reg with him, it felt wrong to hang up on him now.
Sirius woke up to his own alarm many hours later. Reg was still asleep next to him. Sirius smiled before ending the call and getting ready for another day of classes. The day before had felt like some weird fever dream, but he’d liked hanging out with James and would like to think they’d be considered friends. James and Regulus seemed to be getting along as well. Sirius noticed how Reg had smiled at James when he wasn’t looking. He would have to inquire about it later.
***
hey sirius
it’s james :)
sorry for waking you up this morning!
hey james
no worries
so i was wondering
if maybe,
i could get regulus’ number?
oh?
sure i’ll send you his contact
strictly platonic of course
just want to get to know him too
as friends
yeah yeah, *platonic*
i mean…
i just don’t know where he’s at
don’t want to assume anything
has he said something to you?
would you even be cool with that?
i know we haven’t known each other for that long
my brother is his own person
you’ll just have to message him and find out ;)