Chapter 6
Lily Evans was exceptionally bright.
She was top of her class, but rightfully so. She worked hard. She did the extra credit, studied hard, and took the best notes. People could say she was a bit of a know-it-all, teacher’s pet, or whatever. But in reality, Lily had goals. She wanted out of this fucking school and she wanted to see the world. When she first got accepted to Hogwarts, she thought it would be great; independence, and opportunity. But going to school with a bunch of rich pricks isn’t all that it's cracked up to be. She wanted to leave and in order to do that, she needed to graduate with good grades. She had a plan, and she had every intention of executing it.
So, she was objectively smart.
Except when she was being fucking stupid.
Mary MacDonald had been her crush for over a year now. It was almost a year of endless pinning and big rants to Remus and never enacting anything. Ever since Marlene, Mary's friend, started dating Dorcas, Lily’s friend and roommate, their groups melded together and Lily was introduced to the beautiful sparkling energy that is Mary. Getting to know Mary was one of the best things to come out of that year. She was funny and had a self-assured confidence that didn't come off as braggy or obsessed, she just did what she wanted and didn't give a fuck what other people thought.
After getting to know each other, Mary ran into Lily reading outside at her favorite spot under the big willow tree. They discovered they had a similar taste in books, and the next day Mary lent her a book over breakfast. She would give Lily books she thought she would like, and Lily read everyone one of them. Lily would do the same, sharing all her favorites with Mary. The best part of that was when they would finish a book, they would have tea by the lake and discuss it in depth. Mostly it was just sharing their favorite parts (because Lily really liked most of the books she recommended) but sometimes they would disagree on a point or a character and have these wonderful little debates.
So when Mary asked Lily if she wanted to do their English assignment together, she immediately said yes. They studied together all the time, it wasn't an unusual ask. Except that Lily had already completed her assignment. She also didn't think to just tell the truth, offer her help and just hang out with Mary. Instead, she erased all her answers from the form and spent two hours doing an assignment she had already done.
Fucking stupid.
“I’m thinking the exam is going to have some multiple choice but mostly questions like these, kind of interpretive, you know?” Mary said, she was laying on her stomach, head resting in her hand. Their books and papers were spread across the floor of Mary and Marlene’s dorm. Lily was seated cross-legged beside her. Mary smelled like coconut oil and her citrus perfume. Orange blossoms and vanilla.
“Yeah, that's what Profesor Bins seemed to be hinting at,” Lily said looking down at her sheet of paper, now completed fully for the second time. She started doodling little flowers on the corners.
Lily had been trying to get over her crush on Mary for over a year. Because she's beautiful and smart and has cool taste in music and amazing fashion, she’s a great friend. She’s supportive and loyal and Lily always enjoyed being around her, which is too much to lose. Confessing her feelings and getting shot down was not an option. Not to mention, she wasn’t even sure if Mary was queer.
“So have you finished One Last Stop yet?” Lily said as she looked up from her page, falling head first into the wonderful warm dark brown of Mary’s eyes.
“Yes! I loved Red, White, and Royal Blue but something about Casey McQuiston writing sapphics just hits different."
So Mary was most likely queer.
But that doesn’t negate Lily’s previous points. It was just too risky.
“I know right, the way they write is so fun. It felt like such an easy read.”
“Exactly. The story flowed so nicely.” Mary said, twirling her pencil between her fingers. Lily always used a mechanical pencil but Mary preferred the original HB, sometimes when she’d write a lot the silvery lead would smudge on her fingers. Lily found it oddly adorable. “Oh, I actually have your copy here.”
Mary jumped up and started rummaging around the drawer on the table beside her bed. She and Marlene shared a dorm, but they were childhood friends before even coming to the school. They decorated the walls with posters of movies, bands, and cute art. There were pictures of them and all their friends, and random things collected over the years. Mary’s bed sheets were white with little pink flowers and they had fairy lights light strung on the ceiling. It was so cozy and wonderful.
“Here you go, managed to do some annotating too.” Mary smiled and sat back down, handing Lily her book. Lily was not one to be fussed about the quality of her books. She’d bend the covers, write directly in them, fold pages and lend them to anyone. Since Mary and her exchange books all the time and it had become a thing to annotate them for each other. Rereading her favorite book and finding Mary's thoughts scribbled in between paragraphs might just be one of Lily’s favorite things ever.
“Thanks.” Lily smiled, flipping through the pages and seeing Mary's loopy cursive and pastel sticky notes.
She looked up to see Mary was already staring at her, the butterflies in her stomach started to scream.
“What?” Lily asked self-consciously, trying to remember the last time she ate, wondering if she could’ve got something stuck in her teeth.
“You’re just nice to look at.” Mary shrugged and Lily’s heart was about to combust. She laughed nervously and stared back down at her papers. Mary's eyes traveled down to Lily’s nails, the pastel green polish she put on for the first day of school was practically gone, and only a few colored specs remained.
“Oh, your poor nails,” Mary said, biting on her lip. “Can I do them?”
“Please, save me from my misery.” Lily stuck out her hands and dramatically turned her head to avoid looking at her nails.
Mary smiled and jumped up. She went to her bedside table and grabbed a cute little purple box, overflowing with bottles of polish and other tools Lily did not recognize.
“So what color are we thinking?” Mary said as she sat back down in front of her.
“Mmhm probably green again,” Lily said, looking through the bottles of polish.
“Of course a Lily classic,” Mary said grinning. She was wearing a red lip gloss that made her lips shiny. Lily’s stomach did somersaults.
“I don’t always choose green…” Lily said a bit self-conscious. Was she that predictable?
“Not always, but mostly. And for the right reason! It always looks fucking amazing.”
Lily tried to ignore the blush creeping into her cheeks. Being pale and heavily freckled, any slight embarrassment or feeling and she was visibly beet red.
“Alright, give me your hand.” Mary sat down cross-legged right in front of Lily, so close that their knees were almost touching. Mary reached out and held Lily's hand in her own, resting it gently on her leg. Lily tried not to think about how sweaty her hands must be. Mary looked down in concentration, evenly applying a lovely sage green.
“Green’s just so your vibe. And there are so many different shades so you’ll never get bored. I love it” Mary smiled as she moved on to Lily's other hand. “Unless you feel compelled to do something else too, I will fully support any of your color decisions.”
Lily smiled as she started to blow on her finished polish. She loved the way painted nails looked but actually waiting for them to dry was the most painful part.
Mary bit on her bottom lip as she applied a second coat. Lily couldn’t help but stare. She was so beautiful, her long eyelashes and dark curls.
Mary sometimes felt untouchable. She was popular but kind. She was talkative and fun and seemed to be friends with literally everyone. Walking next to her in the halls, people wave and actually acknowledge her. Whereas Lily puts her headphones on and keeps her head down, the hallways just being a way to get to each class.
Lily didn’t have many friends, but the ones she had, mattered more than anything. It took her a while to get there, she wasn’t the most outgoing personality and sometimes people perceived her as rude and unsociable. Which she wasn’t. For the most part. Mary was the same way but just different. She had lots of people she was friendly with, but only a few that really mattered, that she shared deep connections with. Lily was one of the lucky few.
She and Mary have been attached at the hip for years. Endless nights spent crying over family drama, stressing about coursework, or laughing over stupid movies. It was a friendship built on endless memories and it was too important for Lily to just throw away. Which is what she’d be doing if she admitted her feelings for Mary were more than platonic. She would obviously be shut down. There’s no way Mary would like her back. She decided it would be better just to suppress her feelings until they eventually go away. It was the safest plan.
Lily was just friends with Mary. And if her eyes lingered on her lips, all pink and glossy… It was just in a friendly way.
“Alright, my masterpiece has been completed,” Mary said, clasping her hands together proudly.
“Thank you, Monet,” Lily said, admiring her shiny new nails. Mary pulled out a fancy dryer machine that looked a bit like an alien spaceship, and Lily's nails were dried in minutes.
***
Lily got back to her room to find Dorcas, headphones on, painting on her bed. Her palette, covered in old acrylic and a large canvas pad lay on her perfectly clean duvet.
“You know you have a desk for these sorts of things?” Lily questioned as she closed the door.
Dorcas looked up and rolled her eyes.
“The vibes are better on the bed. Can’t explain it.” She shrugged and went back to painting. Lily knew better than to question her.
Rooming with Dorcas was not what Lily had imagined for herself, in all honestly Lily had really dreaded the idea of sharing a room with someone, but it was absolutely wonderful. She was calm, a bit odd, and had a wonderful warmth about her. When they were first introduced, Dorcas was unpacking her huge cassette collection and they bonded over music. The little cassette deck played practically non-stop in their room. They talk, joke about their friends or obsess over frustratingly queer-coded characters in tv, but they’re also good to do just nothing at all. They each know when it's okay to just shut up and enjoy their own space. Dorcas and Lily both being introverted, their room was a safe haven, a place to escape and recharge, so they understand each other well.
“Unplug, let me hear,” Lily said as she dropped her bag on the floor and flopped backward onto her bed. Her body sank into the mattress, all the aches leaking out of her bones. Dorcas nodded and unplugged her headphones from her phone, no cassette today, and Leah by Seeing Double started playing.
“Oh, this is the best part.” Lily started bobbing her head along to the electric guitar solo. Dorcas had no specific taste in music, her playlist was just random collections of things that she liked, ranging in genre and sound. Lily had no clue how she discovered all this music, but most of her favorite songs came as a recommendation from Dorcas.
hey
i know you were like just here
but
do want to come back and watch a movie
i miss youuuu
Lily looked down as her phone started to vibrate, messages from Mary lighting up the screen. She got a warm fluttering feeling in her stomach but tried to ignore it.
yeah :)))
let me get cozy then i’ll come over
Any movie you have in mind?
well we can do whatever
but i also already have pride and prejudice open on my laptop
the keira knightley verison?
is that even a question?
no
i wouldn’t expect anything else from you
you know me so well
;)
Lily smiled down at her phone. Maybe burying her feelings and remaining friends with Mary wouldn’t be so bad, it was Mary after all.