PETER
Peter dug deeper into the crisps packet, stretching his grubby fingers before bringing out the last crumbs.
“ Fucks sake ” he muttered, crumpling up the packet and snuggling deeper into his cavern of blankets.
Peter was in heaven, with his dad and Pam at work he had the whole house to himself, as he had had for the last few days. All he did was watch bad rom coms, play on his ps5 and eat junk food. What else could a 16 year old want in life?
He unpaused 10 things i hate about you and leaned back comfortably, he was happy and alone and unbothered and-
“WORMTAIL” the muffled voice of James came from the window of the living room (which was at the front of the house, and meant he could spot when his parents came home and pretend to be sleeping on the sofa or something), but unfortunately also meant that he couldn't ignore James.
James continued knocking on the window until Peter paused the tv, pulled himself up, blankets and all, and went to open the front door.
“What do you want James”
“God your so emo Peter, cocooned in there all day”
“James im fucking sick i’ve got the flu or something”
“Too sad too bad”
James walked past Peter and wandered into the living room leaving Peter standing, shivering, in the doorway.
“JAMES COME BACK” he shouted after him, slamming the door and rushing after the other.
He found James sprawled out on the sofa, school bag discarded on the floor.
“Go. Away.”
“I fucking love this movie. Isn't it that guy, what's his name? Don't you recon he’s like Sirius? I'm not wrong, you can't tell me im wrong”
Peter gave up trying to kick him out and slumped down next to James, remote in hand.
“Who are you then Prongs? That Cameron guy? Pining over your precious Lily Evans- ”
For that he got a pillow in the face, “For your information i have decided we would be better as friends”
Peter sat up at this, astonished, “Are you taking the piss?”
“Not particularly”
Peter did not avert his eyes, trying to work out how James had gone from practically getting a boner at the mention of Lily's name to only wanting to be friends with her?? Something definitely wasn’t adding up.
“I actually can't believe this”
“Shut up Peter”
“If your going to be rude about it then piss off to Moony or Pads or someone”
“....Don't you know?”
“Know what?”
“Did you not read the group chat?”
“What was on the groupchat?”
“Nothing! That's the point! They’ve had some sort of mysterious argument and aren't talking anymore! Remus has some new friends called Edgar-”
“-Oh Edgars nice-”
“-not the point Pete, the point is that somethings wrong .”
Peter just sighed, "Is that why you're here? Because theres no where else to go?"
"No"
"I really want to watch my movie James."
“What is this? Fucking mastermind? Jesus, yes watch your movie” James said roughly, banging the back of his head on the sofa as if that would create a solution to his problems.
Peter unpaused the movie, and for the first few seconds the film played once again uninterrupted, before James decided to disrupt Peter's peace. Again.
“When are you coming back to school?”
Peter paused the movie again and shrugged, “I don't know, i think i'm happier at home. Maybe i should be homeschooled.”
“I think you would die of boredom if you were.”
“Probably”
Peter tried to imagine what life would be like if he was homeschooled. He wouldn't ever feel left out or stressed again, maybe he would feel a little lonely, but he always did, and it wouldn't make a big difference. He could get up when he wanted, take as many holidays as he wanted. He could be happy.
He knew full well his parents, though very flexible, wouldn’t ever let him be homeschooled, it was just a fantasy he kept in mind.
“The only person i have to hang out with now is Lily because Sirius is always so mopey and Remus has a new friend who he hangs out with every lunch now.”
“Is this your plea to get me back to school?”
James didn't speak for a second, before eventually admitting “Kind of”
“Can you go hang out with Alice and Frank or something?”
“They’re in year 12 now though, all the way in the sixth form block, i'm not allowed in the sixth form block.”
“Ok fine, if you shut up and let me watch my movie i'll come into school tomorrow… Deal?”
James smiled smugly “Deal” And as promised shut his mouth for the rest of the movie.
Secretly Peter had wished he would speak. He really didn't want to go in tomorrow, but he felt bad for James, and it felt nice knowing he even wanted him there, so he relented, promising himself that if it was too bad he would strap himself to a chair in the medbay until Ms Pomfrey let him go home.
The next day Peter saw what James had meant. The whole of Geography Sirius sat brooding, chewing on one end of his pen, and during break Peter watched as Remus greeted a blonde boy and walked into the cafeteria with him .
“Its punishment” Grumbled Sirius “He fucking hates me even though i said sorry”
“Sorry for what ?” James stressed, clearly having asked this question one too many times.
“Im going to find Marlene” Was all Padfoot responded with, loping off to find his friend. Peter raised his eyebrows as Sirius stumbled off, “Jesus, what the fuck happened to the two of them? I thought you were just over reacting”
“I never overreact!” Said James, aghast, as they sat down at their table, now feeling a lot emptier minus two people. Luckily those two spots were quickly filled by Mary and Lily, concerned looks on their faces.
“Sirius cussed us out so we thought we would join you two, that alright?” Mary asked pleasantly.
“Yeah” Sniffled Peter (who was still sick), “How are you two?”
“Better than you clearly” Lily chuckled, handing him a piece of gum, “for your pains” she winked, which caused Peter to smile slightly.
“Lucky you Wormy” James said giving him a little smirk.
"Sure you aren't jealous Prongs?"
"Not at all" though Peter noticed his cheeks had gone a bit pink.
“I've been wondering” Lily asked, breaking the tension, “How did those nicknames you call each other came about, i mean, on the first day of year 10 you guys just came in and started calling each other them, i've been wondering for ages about it.”
James grinned, “I love this story” causing Peter to groan,
“It's so embarrassing actually dont”
James' smile only widened, “Let's set the scene…” He began mysteriously, flexing his hands around, “It's the end of year 9, the night before school starts and Peter's birthday… Do you two know where Peter lives?- You know what nevermind, he lives like far out in the suburbs, like a 20 minute drive from here, in between here and town- Anyways that's where all the fields are, and it's really strange there's just a bunch of fields in the middle of London but who cares…. Anyways we all sneak out to the field with a bunch of beer we snagged from Petes, and get absolutely pissed . And Lily, do you remember that geography project about animals we had to do end of year 9?”
Lily's face lit up “Oh my god yeah! Where we all had to choose an animal to use! And i did the doe so you being the dick you are did the stag!”
Mary gaped “Did he actually?”
Lily grinned too “Yeah it was really embarrassing because everyone thought i was the one who copied off him ”
James cleared his throat uncomfortably “Moving on. So Peter is like drunk drunk, like im tipsy drunk enough for my Mum to murder me when i get home.. Which is actually why I don't drink anymore… But Peters out of his head, and couldn't remember any of our names, so he just starts calling us by those animal names, except he can't remember those either so-” James started laughing “ and so he just starts calling us made up characteristics …. You know because I'm a stag and I'm a prong?? Like antlers… Oh God you should have seen him he started hugging Remus and calling him MOONYYYYY ” he grabbed Peter, reenacting it, while Lily and Mary laughed which made Peter's face heat up. He had always hated people laughing at him, he felt a sharp stabbing pain in his stomach and felt his breathing quicken.
“Anyways” James continued, “Ever since then we have been the mighty Marauders, or so they call us”
“No one calls us that James” Peter managed, trying to make sure his voice didn't shake.
“Everyone calls us that”
“I don't think they do”
“Well they should”
“No… No they shouldn't”
“Stop being emo”
“I'm not an emo your an emo”
“Im not an emo, you know whos actually an emo? Sirius”
“... you know what yeah true”
“You called him that on that night i think, you called him emo padfoot”
“No i didn't”
“Yes you did, you just don't remember, you don't remember any of it because you were so pissed”
Peter did remember that night, or most of it anyway. It had been a warm September evening, the sun setting as they creeped into the field behind his house. They had sat on the grass, sipping foul tasting beer and talking, Peter had been at the centre of attention, and everything was right in the world, it was the end of year 9, the beginning of year 10, he was just 15, feeling contenter than ever. He liked to replay that memory, it was one of the good ones, stored away in a pocket of his mind for him to keep forever, just how he liked it. He was so rarely important, rarely in the middle, rarely laughed with rather than at. He liked rare moments like that, he wished they were written into a book for him to highlight, tab, cut out and keep safely in his pocket forever, away so no one could ever make them bad, or embarrassing or painful.
The next day he forced himself to come to school.
Mornings were hardest for Peter, they were the worst part of the day. He dragged himself up and brushed his teeth wearily, staring at his tousled face in the mirror before staggering into his uniform and downstairs to make breakfast. Toast was burnt, phone was on 30%, earphones tangled beyond repair and bag was slightly damp from a leaky water bottle the day before.
Lovely.
He arrived tardily to school, apologised profusely to Ms McGonnagal for being late to her oh so prestigious second to bottom set english class, got a 20 minute debt for talking back and being late. Mary wasn't in so he had to do English alone and finally, exhausted, trailed off to a very eventful PE lesson.
One more thing you should know about Peter, he hated PE. He didn't know why James, Sirius and Marlene had picked it for GCSE, but he thought they were idiots for it. Alas he was still stuck doing it once a fortnight. But it was one of the only classes all the Marauders had together, so in his eyes it had some worth.
Out on the playing field he struggled to keep up with James, wheezing as he jogged beside Remus, who, due to his god awful nicotine addiction, was also wheezing.
They waved to Dorcas as they passed, who was sitting at a table near the girls pe lesson. At the end of year 10 Dorcas had made an uproar to the senior members of staff about the fact that pe lessons weren’t non-binary inclusive, and that they should be combined to create ultimate equality.
It didn't happen.
Instead they (with a fuss) Let Dorcas not do pe lessons, but to sit out instead.
Lucky dick.
“So….” Peter said, trying to work out how to say what he wanted to casually. “Whats up with you and Pads..?”
Remus sucked in his teeth, annoyed. “Nothing”
“Then go talk to him, if nothings wrong”
Remus glared at Peter, then at Sirius, then at Peter.
“No”
“Then whats wrong?”
“I cant tell you”
“But you can tell Dorcas?”
Remus stopped, panic flashing in his eyes. “What?”
Peter stopped as well, “Im not an idiot Remus, you tell them everything, as if im not right here to talk to you whenever you need me to. Because i am.”
Remus still wasnt moving, then eventually he turned away from Peter and walked off to Miss Hooch.
“Miss i feel sick i think i need to go to Med.”
Miss Hooch sized him up, she was the best Peter had ever faced at seeing if you were really sick or not, but taking in Remus’ pale face and nervous eyes she sent him off with a reluctant nod and a motion for Peter to go with him, in case of a journey emergency.
Instead of going to Medbay they went and sat in the deserted boys changing rooms.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Peter asked, now quite nervous, the only person who ever talked to him about their issues was his step-sister, and she was away at boarding school, and her problems were never like the type he new Remus kept locked away. If there was one thing Peter was good at, it was seeking out the secrets people like to hide away deep within them, and Remus had a lot.
“Yes, but…” Remus' voice faltered, and he looked down at his feet, “But you cant tell James. Under no circumstances can you tell James. Or anyone for that matter, swear on it Pete, on pact of being kicked out the group.. Go on swear”
“....I swear” Peter said slowly, taking a seat across from Remus.
It took Remus a few moments to say it, to let it travel from his cold, high interior wall into his mouth and out in the open, to really say the words.
“Sirius kissed me” Remus whispered, so quietly it was barely concernable.
“I thought he was straight?”
“Thats the thing” Remus spat “ he is ”
“Oh…” Peter began, “Remus im really sorry”
“Why are you sorry? Its not like you kissed me then asked me to forget about it”
“I know youve liked him for ages.”
“... you do?”
“I thought it was obvious!” Peter said, surprised. He thought about all the caressing glances and slight smile carelessly sent Sirius’ was for months now.
“Oh God” Muttered Remus “Now i really do feel sick”
“Sorry, i probably passed the bug to you, im still sick”
“Go home then”
Peter shook his head “I dont want to miss out anymore than i have already, anyways you need me huh?” he said, flicking Remus’ knee lightly with a smile.
Remus smiled too “Yeah you're right… Theres another thing too… I-”
But before he could finish James burst through the door, looking windswept and disgruntled. “You fuckers!” He grinned, “Whatcha doing in here?”
“Remus didnt want to go to med in case they called his Mum away from work so we came here instead” Peter lied quickly, earning him a thankful smile from Moony.
James stood there a moment more, glancing in between the two boys, before shrugging. “Ok” He said, “Wait here”
He reappeared moments later with a confused Sirius, making Remus tense up.
“ James ” Peter warned, but Sirius was already awkwardly forced besides Remus, and James sat proudly next to Peter, not really knowing the full depth of what he was doing.
“Right!” James announced. “An official Marauders meeting! We need things working out, me and Pete are high council, state your cases”
“What?” Sirius asked dryly, looking as if wanted nothing more than to die. Right there.
“If i remember, long term arguments that havent been made up in a week goes against one of our group rules-”
“We dont have group rules” Remus interjected “You made those up yourself. Me and Sirius arent fighting ok? Mind your own fucking business James for fucks sake not everythings about you.”
“What…” James face dropped, he blinked a couple times, “I was just trying to stop the arguments, if you talk-”
“We have talked for fucks sake! Piss off and let us deal with our own business!” Remus spat, he shook his head at James indisbelief before he marched out the changing room, fists clenched, school bag and pe bag in hand.
Peter stood up, shaking his head, “I know your trying to help James” he added softly, “But maybe nows not the times” And he walked out after Remus.
He found him in the bathroom, already changed (though not well, his tie badly knotted and blazer sitting on the sinks) and sat on the floor.
Peter, for the second time in less than an hour, sat down next to him.
“Sorry about snapping” Muttered Remus, rubbing the scar on his neck.
“Its ok, we all do sometimes”
Tears had began to leak out of Remus’ eyes, and he angrily wiped them away, leaving his face red and raw
“Im so stupid ” he said, sniffing “Im such an idiot , such a fucking idiot to think Sirius would ever actually like me, that he was gay like me. Why would he like me anyways? I’m gross and stupid and ugly, and he likes pretty girls and hes not fucking gay . He would never be, would he? Perfect sirius black isnt a queer.”
“...You’re not gross Remus” Whispered Peter.
He had never heard Remus talk about himself like that, Remus kept things in. He smiled and chatted and never complained that much. He knew a hard life, and he faced up to it with a brave face, because thats who Remus Lupin was. Remus Lupin didnt flinch when people mentioned Fathers day and Remus Lupin sacrificed so much for his Mum, and she for him. He never cried, not even when he was in pain.
And now, and now to see Remus Lupin crying over some boy , that wasnt the Remus Peter thought he knew.
Remus sniffled again.
“Thankyou” he mumbled thickly.
“ ‘course” Peter said, trying to sound light, “Anything for our Moony”
Remus cracked a smile, “And anything for our Wormy aye? diolch i Dduw amdanoch chi” Remus' welsh spilt out of him calmly, as if it had been sitting there for years. He had never heard him speak it to anyone but his Mum, and Peter liked it.
“Im just going to nod and pretend i understood what you just said ok?” Peter said, slowly nodding, making Remus laugh.
Not a big laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.
Peter smiled proudly, and laughed aswell, because he was sure the sight of them sitting here would look comical to anyone.
Eventually he would get up and get into his uniform, Remus would go with him to put his pe bag in his locker and then take him and introduce him to Edgar and Amelia. He and Amelia would get on surprisingly well, both such opposites, yet very well platonically compatible.
But right now he was sitting here with Remus, and they were both laughing about how stupid they looked and were, and that was ok.