“Alright. Tonight is just a trial run.” Frank said as he walked to the front. Amanda nodded as she tied an apron around her waist.
“You won’t regret hiring me!” Amanda said, trying to fake the confidence she had in herself. Frank gave a grunt and handed her a wet towel and a tray.
“You can start by clearing off the tables. Wednesdays are normally not too busy, so if you hear people walk in, greet them and let them know they can take a seat anywhere.” Frank said before stepping behind the bar. Amanda nodded and wandered over to the first table she noticed was dirty. She placed all the cups on the tray before washing down the table. Taking the tray in the back, she put all the cups in the sink. A towel from the sink flew up as it started washing the cups before the cup moved to the sanitation water.
“This isn’t so bad,” Amanda said and walked out. As she cleared off the second table, she heard the door open. People’s laughter filled the room, talking about the Quidditch match.
“Just take a seat anywhere,” Amanda called over her shoulder. She found that someone had stuck gum on the side of the table. She attempted pulling it off with a napkin, but there were still gum chunks, not wanting to come off. After a bit more scrubbing, she could finally get it off. Satisfied with her work, she grabbed the tray of dishes.
“Hey, miss!” Amanda heard someone yell. Turning towards the voice, she saw a guy wave her over. Amanda skimmed for her boss, but she walked over to the guy with no luck.
“This isn’t what I order.” He said, giving a smile. He pointed to his drink on the table. It looked like he had already consumed half of it, but she wasn’t going to argue.
“I’m sorry. What did you want?” Amanda asked and grabbed the glass from the table. Amanda felt a hand grab her butt, causing her to jump. Trying to back away from the guy’s touch, she stumbled over her feet and went down. The shattered glass forced the entire room to turn their attention to the girl. A laugh slipped from the guy’s lips, causing Amanda’s cheeks to burn. Shifting her attention away from the broken dishes, she glanced around the room. The only thought that plagued her mind was how she had already broken the dishes on her first night. She dreaded that she might have to find a new job after tonight.
Catching the sight of gray eyes, all thoughts about her job halted. Draco Malfoy.
“What are you doing, girl?” Amanda heard Frank say, pulling her attention away from the blond hair boy from Hogwarts.
“Sorry,” Amanda said and quickly turned her attention to the broken glass. She scrambled to start picking it up and placing it on the tray. Amanda felt a sharp pain in her finger as crimson red began to emerge. Out of instinct, she put her finger in her mouth, tasting the beer from the shards of glass.
“Hey, it happens,” Frank said and pulled out his wand.
“Go get that taken care of. I will finish cleaning this up.” He said. Amanda nodded and stood up. She rushed over to the bathrooms as thoughts about the blond-haired man consumed her mind.
Draco peeked behind him before opening the door in front of him. He didn’t understand why he was returning to this place, but the girl he met last time made him laugh. Something that he hadn’t been able to do in a long time.
He didn’t see her in the immediate area of the bathroom, only the ghost who haunted the bathroom. His face fell slightly when he realized it might have been a one-time meeting.
“She’s over there,” said the ghost that inhabited the bathroom.
“Thanks,” Draco mumbled. He took a few steps toward the stalls and looked down. His face drained of all color before he dashed to the girl. He pulled out his wands and said a spell that would untie the knots of the rope. He caught the brown hair girl as the ropes loosed from her neck.
“No, please, no,” he cried as he laid her on the ground. Draco’s fingers wandered to her wrist, trying to find any sign of a pulse but dropped it as shortly as he felt the marks across her wrists. He blinked a few times, trying to collect his thoughts.
“Merlin’s beard,” Draco said before checking the neck for the pulse. He felt a faint beating push against his fingers. The breath that he was holding was finally released as the tears began falling from his eyes.
“Why?” He heard her voice crack, “Why did-did you save me?”
Draco wiped his tears away and examined the girl. Her other hand was on her throat as her face wrinkled in pain.
“Fuck.” Draco said as he crumbled. Draco couldn’t help but think that it should be him if anyone wanted a death wish. Yet the Hufflepuff he met last time, all smiles and laughter, desired to end her life. How or why was her life so bad that she should wish to take her own life.
“What are you looking at, Mate?” Blaise asked.
“Here are your drinks,” the bartender said, passing everyone their drinks. Blaise flashed the bartender a smile, accepting his drink. Astoria took Draco’s drink as he was too busy watching the girl before taking her own.
“I know her from somewhere,” Draco said as he watched the brown-haired girl pick up the shattered glass. Astoria glanced over at the girl her boyfriend was staring at, and the jealously vanished when she discovered who the girl was.
“That’s Amanda Longshore. She was a Hufflepuff in my year.” Astoria said. Blaise snapped his fingers like a light went off in the middle of his drink. Draco finally tore his eyes away from the girl. His eyes landed on his friend as he tried to think of why they should know her.
“Oh, she is the one that left halfway through her fifth year!” Blaise said.
“Yeah, there was a whole scandal around why she left,” Astoria replied. The light clicked in his head on where he remembered her from. Amanda was the girl in the bathroom. The Hufflepuff he met a handful of times during his 6th year at Hogwarts. She was the one who made him question in everything he was doing was right or if he was on the wrong side of the war. How could he have forgotten about her?
“What happened?” Draco asked, noticing his beer had arrived. He took a drink of it. Astoria leaned in closer at the table, compelling everyone else to lean in.
“She was knocked up.” Astoria said, before gesturing for a round belly, “One of her roommates noticed and reported it. They got her parents involved and everything.”
Draco’s eyes widened as he stood up. Everyone at the table turned their eyes to him. He scanned the room for the brown hair girl, but she had already vanished.
“Baby, everything okay?” Astoria asked. Draco glanced down at his girlfriend. He saw how her eyes displayed concern from his sudden outburst. He mustered the best smile he could and kissed her on the cheek.
“Yeah, I just have to use the loo.” He said before walking away. Out of sight of his friends, his back hit the wall. He tried making sense of it in his head, but the more he thought about it, Draco grew concerned.
“Can I see it?” Amanda asked. This was the fourth time they had met up. School had been going on for 6 weeks now.
“See what?” Draco asked as he took a swing of his drink. He wasn’t sure how she could sneak in boos without getting caught, but he wasn’t complaining. For the first time, dulling his feelings was simple.
“You know.” She said and pushed herself, so she was facing him.
“No, I don’t know what you are talking about,” He said and looked away. Amanda pouted her lips out and debated if the rumors were even genuine. Amanda seized his left arm and pulled it towards her, not getting anywhere with him. Draco snapped his eyes to the girl and attempted to yank his arm away, but Amanda maintained a good grip on it. His heart pounded against his chest as she pushed the sleeve of his robe up. As Amanda touched the shirt’s fabric, fear grew in his eyes. As she undid the button on his sleeve, he shut his eyes and shifted away.
Amanda’s stomach twisted in her stomach as the last button fell away. Her breath halted as she saw a black tattoo peeking up from his arm. Amanda slowly pushed the sleeve back, fully exposing the dark mark she’s heard all about.
Draco’s eyes shot to the brown-haired girl as he felt a pair of lips touch his arm. He believed she was mad as she continued to place soft kisses on his arm. Her eyes glanced up as she placed the last kiss. He was half expecting a revolted look on her face or fear, but instead, her lips created a faint smile. Even he couldn’t stand the look of the dark mark yet; here, this Hufflepuff smiled at it.
Draco took the arm she was holding and snaked it around her, pulling her in. Her hands moved to his chest to catch her balance. His other hand found the nape of her neck, and Draco closed the space between their lips. His eyes closed as he tried to figure out what was remarkable about her lips. Her lips that made the mark he couldn’t stand to see somewhat bearable.
Amanda took a moment before closing her eyes and fell into the embrace. She was surprised at how gentle he was as his lips brushed against hers. She considered kissing Draco twice, but she pictured it as rough and greedy. Amanda deepened the kiss, provoking Draco to tighten his arms around this girl and draw her in his lap. Her fist clenched around his t-shirt before she pushed him back, pulling their lips apart. Draco’s eyes snapped open from the sudden reaction. Smiling, she placed her lips along his jaw before making her way down his neck.
Draco’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned against the wall, taking in every bit of the girl’s lips. His hand found the exposed skin on her thigh and squeezed it as he felt his pants tighten around his waist. He hadn’t felt this kind of pleasure in a long time. As his hand trailed up her leg, a moan left her throat. Hoping to capture that beautiful sound, Draco drew her lips away from his neck and forced them to his lips.
Amanda’s hand found its way to Draco’s shirt and started undoing the buttons of his shirt. She let out a gasp as his figure gazed over the top of her underwear. Draco took this moment to kiss down her jaw to her ear.
“We should stop,” He whispered.
Grabbing hold of his hand that gripped her thigh, Amanda shoved his hand against the part of her body, begging for his engagement.
“Don’t stop,” She moaned as her hips wanted to buckle. Without a second thought, Draco captured her lips as his hand found its way under the last piece of fabric.
Walking out of the bathroom, Amanda saw Draco leaning against the wall. Her breath snagged in her throat as she tried to determine what to do. She knew she couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever.
Clearing her throat, she hoped to grab his attention. Draco opened his eyes and peered over at the noise.
“Draco Malfoy, correct?” Amanda said. Maybe he won’t remember her.
“Yeah. You were a year below me.” He said, choosing his words carefully. Maybe she just recognizes his name.
“Yeah. I was a Hufflepuff.” Amanda said nervously before raising her fist a little, “Go, Badger. Woohoo.”
Draco chuckled as he recalled why he talked to this girl back in school.
“Well, I should get back to work,” Amanda said before allowing Draco time to respond.
“Right. My mates are probably wondering where I went.” He said, pointing behind him. With a smile, Amanda nodded and stepped past him.
“Hey,” Draco said and caught her arm.
“I get done at 1,” Amanda said, still looking forward. Draco let go of her arm, allowing her to walk away.
Amanda watched as Draco pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on. Her shift just ended, and to her pleasant surprise, Frank said she could keep the job. She was expected to come back tomorrow to fill out the paperwork.
“Hey,” She said, giving him a smile. She nodded her head for Draco to follow her out of the alley.
“Hey,” He said as he fell into step with her. “I waited for that day, you know.”
“You waited? Why?” Amanda asked, glancing over at the blonde guy. After their last meeting, Amanda said she couldn’t be back until the holidays. So they agreed to meet on 24 December. She just hoped her situation would be taken care of by then. Two weeks before the holidays started, she was called up to the headmaster’s office. Her parent took her out of school right then and there, breaking her promise. A promise that had haunted her for the next few years.
He gave a shrug. Amanda let out a sigh.
“Do you know why I left?” She asked.
“I heard the rumors,” Draco said, “Are they true? Were you pregnant?”
“Yes,” Amanda didn’t see the use in lying.
“Is it-” Draco started to speak, but he didn’t finish. Amanda stopped walking and scanned Draco’s face as a single tear slipped down her cheek.
“Yes,” She said as her throat tightened. Draco closed his eyes and turned to the wall closest to him, and his fist hit it hard as his knuckles turned white.
“Fuck,” He whispered. Amanda’s heartbeat was hard against her chest. She quickly wiped away the second tear that escaped before darting at the sky. Her stomachs were in knots as the biggest secret she held was now in the open, and this wasn’t how she wanted Draco to find out.
“Do you want to see her?” Amanda asked. Draco turned and stared at Amanda.
“Her?” Draco whispered. Amanda gave him a nod and held out her hand for Draco to take. Draco didn’t move right away. He had a girlfriend. One that he was going to propose to in a month, and now he’s with someone who had his child. A child she kept secret for four years. The best thing for his family would be to walk away from this girl. Especially since she was muggle-born, but like those nights at Hogwarts, he couldn’t.
Stepping forward, Draco took her hand in his. Her hand was cold and rougher than he recalled. He never knew precisely how hard her life was, but he saw how tired she was looking at her now. The bags under her eyes showed all the sleepless nights. Her hair tugged into a lazy bun, but it didn’t hide that she hadn’t washed in a few days. Taking a step forward, he placed a hand on her cheek and wiped the tear that escaped. He felt Amanda lean into his touch as her eyes closed. That’s when the world around them changed as Amanda thought of the place where her child was at.
Tearing his eyes away from Amanda, his face fell as he was in the last place he expected.
A cemetery.
Amanda stepped away from Draco and walked down the sidewalk, still holding his hand. Draco allowed his feet to drag him as his mind raced. Maybe this was a shortcut to her place, which was the closest she could apparate to. In his gut, he knew that wasn’t the case.
When he felt Amanda release his hand, he halted and watched her walk on the grass. His heart dropped as she stopped three headstones down. With his eyes fixed on the headstone, he wandered over to Amanda.
Everlee Longshore
10 July 1997 - 23 June 2000
Sleep, my little one, sleep.
“What happened?” Draco whispered.
“I left her at my parents' house. It was just for two hours.” Amanda’s voice broke. Her arms wrapped around her small frame. That was a little over a year, but it still felt like yesterday for Amanda. “She had wandered outside.” Amanda paused, “You know she loved swimming. It was always so hard to get her out of the bathtub.”
Amanda covered her mouth as a laugh slipped from her lips. Draco watched as more tears streamed down her face. Taking a few steps towards Amanda, he placed a hand on her causing her to look over. Her legs became weak as she moved closer to Draco, and he wrapped his arms around her as she cried.
“They just had to watch her for two hours. That’s all I asked for, and they couldn’t even do that.” Amanda cried. Draco’s arms wrapped tighter around the woman. He felt his heart swell. How could he feel the pain for someone he never even knew? Someone he had never met before.
Walking out of the stall, Amanda placed her hand on her stomach. She whipped her mouth, trying to get the taste out of her mouth.
“You’re here,” Draco said, causing her to jump.
“When did you get here?” She said, attempting to collect herself. Her hands dropped to her side as she strolled over to the wall and sat down.
“I just arrived. You weren’t at supper.” He said, “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, why?” Amanda asked. Did he hear her?
“No reason.” He said. Amanda nodded and looked away. This was the first time they talked since that night five weeks ago.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Draco finally asked.
Yes, “No,” Amanda said, still unable to make eye contact. Amanda’s heart banged against her chest that she would be surprised if he couldn’t hear it.
“I knew we should have stopped,” Draco said, hitting his hand on the stall. When he said those words that night, he knew there was a possibility that he might not be able to stop either.
“Draco, do you think you would make the same choices as your parents?” Amanda asked. The stability in her voice made him even more surprised than the question. He leaned against the stall that he had hit and slid down. Draco ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to think of an answer.
“I don’t know," he said, "I think my parents didn’t have a choice.”
“Why do you think they didn’t choose this?” Amanda asked; this time, her gaze landed on Draco. Draco’s shoulders were dropped as his hair hung on his face. This was a state that only she got to witness during these nights.
“Because if they did, I don’t know why they would put me through this.” He whispered.
“What are your parents like?” Amanda asked.
“Can’t you read?” Draco said and straightened his back. His gaze went to the girl who questioned about his family. His family’s affairs were everywhere in the papers. Everyone had an opinion on who and what they were like, so why did she ask a ridiculous question.
“Yes, but I want to know what you think. Not what the newspaper prints.” Amanda said. In the muggle world, her parents are influential people, and she was used to everyone having an opinion on their “picture-perfect family.” In the muggle world, everyone knew her, and in the wizarding world, no one cared about it. She didn’t know what felt worst. Being alone while being surrounded by a bunch of people, or being alone and having no one.
“My mom is amazing.” Draco started with a smile on his lips. But the smile faded quickly as he thought more about his parents. He told this girl he had just met for the fifth time everything about his family. He didn’t even know her name.
Amanda walked into her living room with two mugs in her hand. Draco looked up from the photo album.
“She looked happy,” He said before taking a mug Amanda offered.
“She was,” Amanda said and took a seat next to Draco. Her eyes scanned the pages of the photo album she avoided. After the death of her baby girl, Amanda had locked up any memories of having a child. She couldn’t bear the pain, the reminder that her baby was gone. She stopped talking to her parents entirely and moved into the wizarding world her parents desperately hated. As far as Amanda was concerned, her parents died that day.
“I’m sorry you never got to meet her,” Amanda said. Draco set the mug on the end table before leaning back. He was exhausted, but he didn’t want to sleep, but he didn’t want to do anything but turn back time.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He asked.
“The last day we met, I was going to tell you, but then you talked about your parents. I was scared of what they might do to me if they found out. What they would do to the child.” Amanda said, leaving out that she was going to have an abortion.
“Plus,” Amanda continued, “What would you have done? Voldemort was at your house, and there was a war going on. Would you really think I would still be alive if I told you?”
“You’re right. I would have done nothing.” Draco whispered as his fist balled up. He hated that no matter how much he could rationalize it now, he wouldn’t have lifted a finger to save either of their lives then. They all would be dead if he tried anything.
“Hey,” Amanda said, touching his arm. “It’s okay. You didn’t have a choice then. You did everything to save your family.”
“But I still couldn’t save her,” Draco said, looking over at Amanda. Amanda gave a weak smile, but he saw the pain she endured alone in her eyes.
“Blame me,” Amanda said. “If you want to blame anyone, blame me.”
As much as he wanted to blame Amanda, he couldn’t. He tried to blame her for leaving her with her parents. She knew that her parents wouldn’t watch her child, but he also saw how much she blamed herself. He felt the pain Amanda was bearing as she clung to him, sobbing.
“Hey,” Draco said and took her hand in his, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. From these photos, she was happy. And I can tell how much you loved her. I could have never been able to provide her with that kind of happiness. Not with the war happening. Not with the family I had either. You did an amazing job.”
“Thanks,” Amanda’s voice cracked. This was the first time someone said she was doing an amazing job. Her parents always remind her that she was a whore who got knocked up. Though Amanda always played it off that she didn’t know who the dad was. She knew her family would go after Draco’s family, and she knew that she would ruin his name. It was easier to act like she didn’t know.
“I told her stories about you,” Amanda said, pulling her hand away from his warm hand. She desperately desired to keep their hands interlocked, but she knew she should get attached. He had a girlfriend, and she didn’t want to be a homewrecker.
“You did.” He said as he watched Amanda grab her mug and take a sip.
“Yeah. I told her how brave and strong you were.” Amanda said, causing Draco to laugh.
“Are you sure you told her about me?” He said.
“Yes. Give yourself a little credit.” Amanda said, “I am still alive because of you. So you weren’t all that bad.”
“You’re such a Hufflepuff. Looking at the bright side,” Draco rolled his eyes and looked down at the photos again. He wondered if she was an optimist like her mom.
“I see you didn’t marry the guy your parents set you up with,” Draco said, focusing on Amanda. Even though Amanda didn't open up too much about herself, she confessed to the arranged marriage and the expectations that her parents held.
“I was going to. I figured I could learn to love him. I mean, he was good to Everlee. He would have provided a good home. He never raised his voice. Never put me down. But after she died, I had no reason to stay. I broke things off and moved here.” Amanda said. “What about you and Astoria? How serious is that?”
“I am proposing to her next month. She comes from a respectable family, and my parents like her.” Draco replied. Amanda thought of the situation and began comparing it to herself.
“Coming from someone who was in an arranged marriage, if you don’t love her, then don’t.” Amanda put down her mug.
“I do love her. And I really think she loves me, but-” Draco said.
“But-” There was silence. Amanda’s eyes wandered to the window in her apartment and saw the sun's rise peeking over the buildings.
“But do I deserve to be happy?” Draco whispered, and it hit Amanda hard. She questioned that every day. Before Everlee was born, Amanda didn’t believe in happy endings. She didn’t even believe in love. Then Everlee was born, and Amanda learned what love was like. Just as quickly as that love was placed in her life, it seemed to be taken away. She was ready to give up on love again. Then tonight happened. Meeting Draco again. Telling him all about their daughter. It brought back all the beautiful memories.
“Yes, you do,” Amanda said, looking at Draco. Draco glanced over at Amanda. It was then he realized that the yes was not just for himself, but for herself. He saw a tiny spark in her eyes for the first time tonight. Even though they came from two worlds, one muggle and the other wizarding, they didn’t grow up too differently. They both suffocated by the expectations of everyone around them. They both grew up too fast and made decisions to save the people they loved.
“I should get going. Can I keep a photo?” Draco asked and stood up.
“Yeah, of course, take as many as you like,” Amanda said.
Thanks,” Draco said, but he only took one from the photo album. It was his favorite one. Everlee was in a field of flowers. She would twill before falling over and laughing, and she would then get up and do it all over again. The smile on the little girl’s face could brighten up a whole room of people, and the photo captured it.
Amanda stood up and followed as Draco made his way to the front door. Draco opened the door and turned to Amanda.
“I guess this is goodbye,” Amanda said.
“I guess so,” Draco said. Neither of them really wanted to say it. They knew that they would both have to go back to being strangers after this meeting. Go back to before they ran into each other. They were like night and day. Pureblood and Muggleborn. Nothing was keeping them together.
“Goodbye then,” Draco said.
“Goodbye.”
Extra
“Hey, mister,” A blonde-haired little girl tugged the guy’s pant leg. He turned to face her. He was going to tell her to get away but stopped as he saw the smile on her face. She was holding up a yellow dandelion.
“Oh Draco, isn’t she cute?” Astoria said, crouching down to the same height as the girl. The little girl’s smile faded as she blinked at the woman before looking back up at the guy. She reached her hand out farther, trying to give him the flower. When he finally took it, her smile returned.
“Thank you,” Draco said, unsure what to do.
“Everlee, leave the poor man alone.” A guy walked up and picked up the little girl.
“It’s fine. She didn’t cause any problems,” Draco said, turning his attention to the man.
“Your daughter is adorable,” Astoria said, standing up. She looped her arm through Draco’s.
“Oh no, this is not my child. This is my fiance’s child.” The man said.
“How old is she?” Astoria asked.
“I’m gonna be three!” Everlee announced.
“One more month. Then she will be a big girl!” the man said.
“Big girl!” Everlee shouted.
“Should we go find mommy?” the man said and tickled the little girl. She laughed as she wiggled in the guy’s arms.
“Thank you again for the flower,” Draco said. The little girl’s smile grew as she looked up at the man with white-blonde hair. Everlee thought his hair was like a dandelion and had to share it with him.
“Say bye to the nice man,” The guy said to Everlee.
“Bye!” Everlee said and waved before the guy walked away with Everlee in his arms.
“Draco, her hair is just like yours. Do you think our children will turn out like that,” Astoria said, watching them walk away.
“I’m sure they will be. Now let go. Blaise is probably wondering where we are at.” Draco said.