Chapter 13
//cw: vomit//
regulus’ fingers were gripping james’ so tightly that they left nail indentations as they climbed the stairs towards the cancer ward.
“you okay?” james asked, beginning to run his thumb along the back of regulus’ hand.
“i never liked hospitals” regulus mumbled.
“it’s okay” james said, holding the door open for regulus to pass through. “i’m right here.”
pausing momentarily at the nurses’ station to ask for directions, james tentatively a pulled back the curtains around the bed at the far end of the ward. fleamont was propped up against a mountain of pillows, a morphine drip connected to the vein in his left hand.
“appa?” james said quietly, perching on the arm of euphemia’s chair.
fleamont’s eyes opened slowly and he blinked as his dark eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight.
“i- this is regulus” james said, offering his hand to the boy who was hovering at the foot of the bed. “he’s my boyfriend a-and i just wanted you to meet him.”
regulus stepped forward, interlocking his fingers with james’.
“black?” euphemia questioned, looking between james’ connected fingers and his eyes.
“yes, ma’am” regulus said somewhat awkwardly, not quite maintaining eye contact to the end of his sentence.
“it’s so lovely to meet the other one” she said, standing up and opening her arms. “although you’re a lot quieter than sirius, isn’t he fleamont?”
regulus smiled sheepishly between james’ parents before sitting down on the edge of the spare chair.
“so how are you feeling pa?”
fleamont shrugged, his eyelashes fluttering as he inhaled sharply.
“james?” euphemia said in a voice barely above a whisper. “he’s tired; do you want to say goodbye?”
“a-as in goodbye goodbye or just goodbye?”
“i- james, if you have something to say, i would, um, say it.”
scooching further up the mattress, james took his father’s hand in his own, and leant down slowly, sharing the pillows. fleamont squeezed his eyes as wave after wave of silent “i love yous” and “thank you for everythings, from riding my first broom to the last quidditch game we went to” hit him.
blinking back tears, james potter stood up, extracting himself from his father’s weak grip.
“i want to leave” he whispered as euphemia and regulus also stood up.
“i’ll see you soon, kannu” euphemia said gently as she held him close. “i’ll write to you.”
james nodded, aggressively wiping away his tears with his sleeve. he didn’t look back at euphemia resumed her seat next to her husband’s bedside. regulus led the way back down the stairs to the ground floor.
just outside the front of st mungo’s was a ministry employee, waiting for the two of them. regulus looked at him and quickly crossed the road, dragging james behind him.
“you ready?” the ministry worker asked as the portkey began to glow.
regulus looked at james whose head was hanging, holding his hand so tightly as regulus reached for the glowing pencil. landing in gryffindor common room ten seconds later, james’ knees buckled and he collapsed heavily as vomit hit the floor.
“hey” regulus said softly, placing his hands under james’ armpits. “come on.”
james nodded, allowing himself to be led to his bed. regulus pulled the duvet up, and held out his hand, which james took gratefully. he slowly adjusted himself, his head on regulus’ stomach. he wrapped his arms around regulus’ waist, his eyes closing comfortably.
“thank you for coming with me today” james mumbled. “i really appreciate it.”
regulus stopped running his hand through james’ hair and bent down to press a kiss onto the top of james’ head. as he bent down he stopped, confused.
“why are you laughing?”
james sat up between regulus’ legs, adjusting his wonky glasses.
“i can hear your stomach rumbling” james said through a suppressed giggle.
regulus shook his head, dark curls falling out from behind his ear. james reached forward and wrapped one around his fingers, pulling regulus towards him. he smiled softly as their lips met but broke away with a blush when he heard sirius’ voice.
“EWW I NEED TO BLEACH MY EYES!”
reaching behind him, regulus threw the james’ pillow across the room in sirius’ direction. sirius ducked, holding out his middle finger when he stood back up. regulus rolled his eyes as remus entered the dorm and threw himself down on sirius’ bed.
“how was hogsmeade?” james asked.
“not important; how’s your dad?”
“they’ve got him on morphine.”
“oh.”
james sniffed, running the back of his hand under his nose.
“i’m going to get dinner; see you later.” he made his way to the door, pausing to hold his hand out for regulus who took it without hesitation. “oh and by the way, alice wants to see you in the library - something about ancient runes.”
“okay - i bought her some chocolates at honeyduke’s using remus’ expert knowledge so hopefully this means she’s forgiven me” sirius said, reaching into the bag he’d been holding and waving around the assorted box of chocolates.
the door closed behind james and regulus quietly, the only sound the crinkling of a chocolate bar wrapper as remus nibbled the top corner.
“hey, you’re spilling!” sirius shouted, frantically wiping the crumbs from his duvet.
remus smiled apologetically and sirius shook his head as he rummaged under his bed for his ancient runes textbook. he stood up emphatically, waving it up his head triumphantly.
“i found it! right, i’d better not keep her waiting.”
remus nodded, not properly listening. he leapt up off the bed though, when he saw that the box of chocolates clearly labelled “alice” were still lying on the bed. he grabbed them, running down the stone steps to the common room two at a time. he came to a sudden stop when he noticed that sirius was only halfway down the tower.
“slow down moons. where are you going so fast?”
“you forgot these” remus said, in between heavy breaths.
“oh god, thank you. what would i do without you?” sirius asked, climbing back up a couple of steps to be level with his boyfriend.
“you wouldn’t make it two weeks without me” remus said with an amused smirk.
“two days, more like” sirius corrected. “i need you.”
“who are you kidding, two hours and you panic.”
“very true” sirius said with a grin, standing up on his tiptoes to meet remus’ lips. “i’ll see you in less than two hours so i don’t start suffering from withdrawal symptoms.”
remus rolled his eyes as he watched sirius and walk away and enter the common room. alice was already waiting in the library when sirius arrived.
“can i copy your notes?” she asked as soon as he’d thumped his books down on the table.
“of course.”
alice stared the nearest roll of parchment and began pretty much replicating sirius’ slender cursive.
“hey alice?” sirius began, somewhat hesitantly. “these are for you” he said, finishing more firmly as he pushed the box of chocolates across the desk.
“is this your apology?” alice asked with an eyebrow raised.
“i can take them back if you don’t want them” sirius said with a grin. “i happen to know a werewolf who loves chocolate.”
alice made a quick grab for the box and opened it, offering one to the beater next to her. she paused, letting the chocolate melt on her tongue.
“have you spoken to james recently?” she asked. “i think he was going to see his dad today.”
“yeah err yeah he did. apparently his dad’s been put on a morphine drip.”
“oh.”
“yeah that was my reaction too. alice, he can’t die; it would shatter james.”
alice turned back to her book, running her finger down the contents page. she flicked through the pages, mulling over sirius’ words.
“i know” she said eventually. “but what can we do? we just have to be supportive, okay - look after him.”
“i don’t really know much about grief and emotions” sirius muttered.
“says the sappiest person i’ve ever met sat in his boyfriend’s jumper. you care, sirius” alice told him. “you have an incredible ability to care.”
“hey! this jumper smells nice” sirius said defensively. “and you can’t comment - frank’s had your scrunchie round his wrist all week.”
alice blushed, a small smile tugging at her lips. sirius shook his head at her sheepish reaction, a grin at his own lips.
“are you almost done? filch desires my presence.”
“no matter how you word it, it’s still detention” alice told him.
sirius only offered her his middle finger in reply.
“i really am sorry, alice” he said, suddenly leaning down to hug her.
alice’s eyebrows met as she awkwardly sat there in shock.
“you never hug anyone” alice said in an amused tone.
“don’t tell anyone; i have a reputation as a coldhearted cool person to uphold” sirius warned her as he picked up his books.
alice tried her best to hold in her laugh.
“keep telling yourself that, sirius.”