Chapter 12
the common room was practically empty by the time alice and james had finished their late dinner and returned to the tower. the embers of a fire were still glowing slightly when the two of them fell through the portrait hole. the dark outline of a bun was visible over the top of the armchair and alice stopped suddenly, staring at it.
she picked up her pace, heading straight for the staircase up to the dorms silently.
“alice?”
sirius jumped out of the chair, stopping in the middle of the room as alice ignored him. he turned around to face james who was still hovering awkwardly near the portrait hole.
“you hurt her” james mumbled as he past sirius.
“it was an accident!” sirius said loudly, spinning on the spot to now face james’ back. “but stop hiding stuff from me. that hurts, james.”
james paused, conflicted.
“okay, fine. he’s dying, sirius. my dad is fucking dying.” james’ volume began to rise as he relayed the information. “a-and i don’t know what t-.”
“WELL YOU COULD’VE FUCKING TOLD ME” sirius exploded suddenly. “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU DON’T TELL ME STUFF?”
“I DON’T KNOW SIRIUS I DON’T KNOW OKAY. I’M SORRY.”
“no you don’t have to be sorry. i’m sorry for not being a good enough friend that you felt you couldn’t tell me something like that.”
“look,” james began, “it’s not about being a good friend - you’re my best friend - but alice has experience with, you know, this.”
“what’s ‘this’? cancer?” sirius asked, throwing himself down on the sofa when james nodded.
“i’m sorry” sirius said quietly.
“yeah maybe tell alice that.”
sirius got to his feet and passed the quidditch captain with a soft smile as he made his way up the stairs. he knocked harshly on the girls’ door, staring down at his feet. a thin strip of light fell over the tip of his shoes, and sirius lifted his head to see a small slice of lily’s face peering out through the inch wide crack.
“no.”
sirius wedged his foot between the door as lily attempted to shut it.
“lily, please just let me talk to her.”
“no” lily repeated. “just go to bed, sirius.”
sirius sighed but conceded, removing his foot to allow her to close the door. moving across the hall, there was only one light on in his dorm, a faint glow coming from within the curtains that had been drawn around remus’ bed.
sirius separated them slightly, sticking his head in.
“hey.”
remus didn’t look up but merely smiled behind his book.
“see you in the morning then” sirius said.
“mhmm.”
pulling his duvet over his chest, sirius rolled over, closing his eyes to block out the faint light that was still breaking through the curtains around remus’ bed.
the next morning, the dorm was empty when sirius woke up. he made his way slowly to the great hall where frank, remus and peter were already sat, buttering slices of toast.
“where’s james?” sirius asked through a yawn.
peter shrugged, reaching across sirius for the teapot.
on the other side of the castle, james potter was sat on the floor of an empty classroom, tears spilling out of his dark eyes. regulus looked down at him from his curled up position on one of the desks, his bottom lip between his teeth.
“why didn’t you say something before?” regulus asked softly, moving towards his boyfriend. he sat down in front of him, making james look up. “why didn’t you tell me?”
“i don’t know” james whispered. “i’m sorry.”
“you don’t have to apologise” regulus told him gently.
a silence fell over the two of them, james’ occasional sniffles the only sound.
“will you come with me to the hospital on saturday?” james asked quietly, not quite making eye contact.
“i-as in tomorrow? are you sure?”
james nodded.
“please?”
regulus dipped his head to match james’, his dark eyes meeting an identical pair. he ran a hand through his hair, the concept of meeting the potters somewhat daunting.
“please?” james repeated.
“okay” regulus exhaled shakily.
he offered james a half smile as he got to his feet.
“i’m going to meet up with sirius - this is the only free period i have that coincides with his.”
“you’re talking to him? after what he did to alice? he still hasn’t apologised for that” james said defensively, following regulus out into the corridor.
“well apparently she won’t let him” regulus said. “i don’t know - i’m not getting involved.”
“can i come with you to talk to him?” james asked.
“sure.”
sirius was waiting on a bench outside on the grounds, blinking a couple of times in surprise when he saw his brother approaching with james.
“you apologised to alice yet?” james asked, putting his hands in his pockets as regulus let go of his hand to sit down next to sirius.
“she won’t let me. i have tried though” sirius added quickly as james sighed loudly.
“i’ll go talk to her.”
sirius looked up, smiling graciously.
“so” regulus said, turning to face his brother, “how are you going to make it up to her?”
“buy her something?”
“don’t ask me - i haven’t the faintest idea how to impress a girl” regulus said with a grin.
running up four flights of stairs two at a time, james arrived at gryffindor tower only slightly out of breath. he knocked twice on the girls’ door, waiting as he heard footsteps.
lily opened the door and looked up at him expectantly.
“alice in there?”
lily nodded.
“can i talk to her?”
lily opened the door wider and stepped aside as james moved into the dorm. he smirked when he saw how much tidier it was than the one across the hall. alice was sat in the centre of her bed, a textbook open in front of her.
james perched on the edge of her bed when she gestured for him to sit.
“i’m behind in runes because i normally just copy sirius’ notes” she said.
“you talked to sirius yet?”
she sighed, leaning back on her pillows.
“no, but i have an awful feeling that i’m going to have to because i need him to help me pass this stupid subject.”
james smiled sheepishly, a sound of shock escaping when alice threw a cushion at him when she saw him smirking.
“can you ask him to meet me in the library tomorrow afternoon?”
james nodded.
“if it means everyone’s talking to each other again then yeah” james said, standing up. “oh i’m going to go to the hospital tomorrow - just thought i’d let you know.”
alice nodded, her face immediately dropping.
“let me know how it goes.”