Sorrowful Eyes
Third year.
With 13, they had a special lesson in charms with headmaster Agasa. Shinichi had awaited this class for years, since it was about a special kind of magic, only taught in Yatagarasu Nesuto and it was an elective subject.
Ai and him signed up for it instantly the first chance they got, while others of his friends like Hattori, Kazuha, Ran and Sonoko weren't as interested and wanted to take it next year. He looked around headmaster Agasa's charms classroom, which filled every minute with more students from all years.
To his surprise, he spotted three other familiar faces of his year in the class... Kaito Kuroba and two of his friends, Saguru Hakuba and Akako Koizumi were also sitting one row behind them on futon pillows.
Kuroba and he shared a short look of recognition and the other boy winked and smirked at him. However, it seemed hollow and Kuroba looked away again, focusing on the headmaster and the lesson instead, as it started. Shinichi frowned, trying to concentrate too, but something bugged him about Kuroba's behaviour lately... It seemed, for weeks now, as if something was weighing heavily on him.
Shinichi normally didn't pry too closely into another person's private affairs, especially not his rival's, but with Kuroba, it was oddly distracting. Maybe it was just because he wasn't used to the complete change of demeanour and serious behaviour from him and nothing more. Ai noticed him staring contemplative at Kuroba and elbowed him into his side.
"What is up with you?", she whispered and Shinichi grimaced, concentrating at the headmaster in front of them again.
"Nexus magic is the oldest form of magic there is. I've asked you to put away your wands before, because the first and most important difference there is between Nexus magic, European wands and spells is, there are no wands used. In this form of magic, you are the wand. Your body, your blood, your... chi. Your life energy. In addition, it resonates with something that is almost forgotten these days, the nexus. Nexus magic comes from metaphysically power lines in the earth. You can picture them almost like veins in a body, so to speak." He walked around the room.
"They are especially powerful under special places like this temple for example, where old magic comes together bundled like a knot. Later, I will show you a map of all known Nexus lines all over the world. You can use Nexus magic everywhere in the world... This kind of magic can strengthen your own, permeate your soul and will be canalized through your hands. I'll show you today, how to tap your body into the Nexus underneath this temple, to perform this old magic. We will use other spells than the European form. In addition, we will see, how different it is, to work magic through your hands. A word of warning before we start... It's strenuous. So much even, you will feel very tired afterward. With time, you will learn to overcome this tiredness..." The headmaster smiled at them.
"However, that will take years of training. There is another reason why witches and wizards stopped using this form of magic... At least one hand needs to touch the ground constantly while working the spell. It's not practical, so over time, European spells and the use of wands became much more popular. But you'll see what I mean... Let me show you... Hakkiri."
The headmaster crouched down in front of the class. One of his hands was touching the floor, but his eyes were directed on his overly cluttered desk near him, where suddenly every object started to move itself around, until the desk was perfectly in order again.
Shinichi smiled and felt excitement bubble up inside of him. That was what he loved about magic... There was always something new to learn and understand. It still fascinated him. The headmaster stood up again and smiled.
"See? It's a simple clean up spell... It means, 'Clearly', so that's what it does. It clears up. In every way of the meaning. That's were it gets tricky. If you don't concentrate enough on the outcome, the energy comes out wild and just... pops out. Because you need to be the canal for it. You are the wand, don't forget that. Magic in it's purest form is wild and it will always act that way. It can be dangerous. We are the ones who want to tame it... we want to bend it in our will." The headmaster wandered through the room again, his hands clasped behind his back.
"You can use this spell in a wide range of situations. You can clean up a table, but also a room, a house... But don't use it on other people or yourself. Don't use it 'to clear your head' for example, unless you can control the outcome. It could have severe consequences... Understood? Good. Now let's try. As you probably already noticed, in front of every sitting pillow, there is a pile of wood blocks. Now you know what this is about... Do exactly what I did before. Touch the ground with one hand. Feel the wild energy within. And then... tap into it. When you are confident enough to let it flow out say 'Hakkiri' and think at the same time, what you want the magic to do. Try to staple the wood blocks orderly. Picture them in front of you." They all tried and to Shinichi's own frustration, it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Then something happened...
"Watch out!", Ai yelled. It happened so fast, Shinichi could barely blink. Someone else in the front row had tried the spell but instead of rearranging the wood blocks, the magic lashed out through the whole room.
Shinichi could even feel it, as his hand still touched the ground. The spell wanted to clean up the cluttered room, so furniture and objects moved around like crazy. A tiny table came flying so fast, Shinichi hadn't even registered it. It would have hit him straight on...
Instead, there was an invisible barrier between him and the table in seconds and it broke the table in two halves, right in front of him with a loud cracking sound. The table hit the barrier so hard, it seemed like it almost exploded.
He was so perplexed and sure, it would hit him that he stumbled back on the ground. Splinters went flying like confetti. He could feel the movement and wind of it on his face.
More tables, books, wood blocks and other objects moved quickly through the room and students had gotten up from the floor, trying to dodge out of their way, but some still got hit by them. Someone screamed as they were hit by something... it was chaos.
"Finite Incantatem", the headmaster yelled and the whole ordeal was over in seconds. Shinichi's heart was still racing. At first, he thought headmaster Agasa had put up the barrier, but the sensei had to concentrate on helping more than one student and wasn't even looking in his direction.
Shinichi looked around and saw Kuroba kneeling down, lifting his hand up from the ground behind them, and looking straight at him. His eyes widened in realization. He saved me? Shinichi stared at him, completely in shock. Ai came up to him and looked between them both.
"Did Kuroba just... use Nexus magic to save you?", she asked intrigued.
"I think so, yeah", Shinichi admitted slowly. Then he suddenly remembered last year and it dawned on him. The night when Kuroba had helped him through his pain and his secret about him already knowing how to perform Nexus magic... That's right. He actually seems to be very well versed in this subject. Another thought crossed Shinichi's mind. Why would Kuroba attend a beginner‘s class in a subject he already seems to know very well?
Hakuba seemed to wonder about the exact same thing, as he clearly too, had seen Kuroba perform a high skilled nexus spell just now and didn't seem to know about this secret of his.
After Kuroba stood up, Hakuba whispered something to him Shinichi couldn't hear, but Kuroba shook his head, looking irritated. He seemingly didn't want to talk about whatever Hakuba had asked him.
"You see Hiroshi-kun? That's what happens if you don't concentrate enough... Now, is anyone hurt?" Agasa looked around. He frowned as he saw Shinichi sitting on the ground, still clearly shaken, then he looked at the broken table.
"Shinichi-kun, are you alright?", Agasa asked concerned. Before he could answer, Ai did.
"Kuroba-san made a barrier with Nexus magic and saved him", she stated in her usual flat way of hers and everybody looked at Kuroba in surprise.
Shinichi stood up and his eyes flicked to Kuroba again too, who quickly averted his eyes and turned away from him, as if he was embarrassed. Headmaster Agasa beamed though.
"Excellent work Kuroba-kun. But I already knew you would be an extraordinary student in this subject. After all, your father was a very talented young man and an even better teacher. It's clear to see, he showed you quite a few things before he... well." The headmaster stopped himself, looking suddenly sad and guilty.
A shadow passed over Kuroba's face and his face became so closed up, he looked extremely passive. There it is again, Shinichi thought. It was strange and almost unsettling to see this complete other side of him.
Kuroba who normally couldn't stand still, who always had a wicked smile or a smirk plastered on his face looked suddenly gloomy and serious now. His hands were in his pockets and he sighed resigned.
"It's alright headmaster. You can tell them." The headmaster nodded and smiled sadly.
"Everyone, here is a little extra history lesson. Kuroba-kuns father, Toichi Kuroba, was the teacher here at this school for Defence Against the Dark Arts before Mōri-sensei came to us. It's tragic though... he is no longer with us. I'm really sorry about what happened. But I want you to know Kuroba-kun, he will always be remembered as a great wizard. He truly was... a master of his art." That brought a touched little smile to Kuroba's lips.
"Thank you... That... means a lot."
"What happened to him?", a student asked and something strange flicked over Kuroba's face at that question. Something Shinichi never had seen before on his face... it was cold anger.
The room went even quieter. Shinichi felt a flicker of anger for the older student who had dared to ask so untactful, even though he had wondered about that question himself just now.
"He vanished one day and never came back. Later, we found out he was killed", Kuroba answered, tone completely cold. Shinichi‘s eyes widened. His father was murdered?
Akako stepped beside Kuroba and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry..."
A hollow smile plastered over Kuroba's face at that and he nodded thankfully. The tension in the class dispersed somewhat.
"It's alright. It was a very long time ago."
Shinichi didn't believe one word. It was clear as day to see for him, Kuroba was hurting over this.
But it was understandable, wasn't it? It was natural. Wouldn't every son miss his dead father? Still... there was something lying underneath this story. Why was there so much cold anger in his eyes? Shinichi wanted to find out. He hated not knowing about a mystery... but it would have been untactful to pry into this matter.
The class went on after that without another incident. Later after the class was over, Shinichi decided to stay behind. Ai wanted to wait up for him at first, but as she noticed how slowly Shinichi packed his belongings together, she smirked knowingly at him.
"I'll wait outside", she said and Shinichi nodded at her with a lopsided smile. In moments like this, he was very thankful to have such an empathetic best friend. The class had quickly cleared of all the other students and to his luck, they were alone. He stepped up to Kuroba and cleared his throat.
"Thank you... for saving me." Why was he suddenly so nervous? It was just Kuroba, right? Right. The brunet shrugged nonchalantly and tried to smirk, but it seemed still strained.
"No problem, Kudō. Don‘t worry about it." They stood there, looking at each other, at a loss for words. Shinichi wanted to say much more...
He wanted to ask if they ever found the murderer of his father. He wanted to... he didn't know what exactly. Help him? Comfort him? How would he even do that? It wasn't his place to do that. Kuroba probably didn't even want to talk to him right now.
"I'm really sorry... about your father", was all he could say. But he tried to convey he really meant it. This time Kuroba didn't say his false words, he didn't even smile, he just looked at the floor, his fists balled. It was the most honest display of emotions Shinichi had ever seen from him. He just looked... sad and angry and he himself felt somewhat helpless.
"I...", Shinichi began, but the words wouldn't come. Were there even words? Was there ever something one could say, to make it all better? Maybe it was enough that he was there... to show him, he wasn't alone with his pain. That's the least he could do, right? Kuroba looked up. It looked like he wanted to say something.
"Shinichiii~ are you there? Why aren't you coming out?", Ran yelled in the hallway outside. The moment was broken. Something fluttered in Shinichi‘s stomach. It was mostly embarrassment. Ran and him had kissed for the first time two weeks ago and were now in a relationship.
She always waited for him now, after every class they didn't attend together. But this now, was probably the worst timing Ran had ever had... Kuroba looked away again, fake smile already in place. He turned away, rummaging around in his bag.
"You should go. Your girlfriend is waiting for you", he said dismissively. Shinichi grimaced and sighed. He nodded.
"Right. See you...", he mumbled weakly.
"Yeah. See you." Kuroba didn‘t look at him, just waved over his shoulder.
He couldn't pinpoint for the life of him, why he felt so damn guilty at that moment, as he left the room.