Simp Club
+1 (602) 198 1103
9:48
Unknown Number
You are a dick, you know that?
We need to work on this project by next week and I won't have Minnie on my arse for you.
So send me the fucking slides.
Unknown Number
While I appreciate the concern, it'd be nice to know who this is?
Not that I'm denying I'm a dick.
I am.
But I'd like to know who came to that conclusion so quickly.
And what slides?
Unknown Number
Stop being a douchebag, Snape.
I'm just trying to get through this project.
It's not like I chose you. So stop making this hard.
Unknown Number
Well, as much as I appreciate being called a douchebag. I regret to inform you my name is very much *not* Snape.
Thankfully.
That sounds like an awful name to be stuck with.
Not that mine is better by any means.
But still.
Unknown Number
Ok, you aren't Snivellous.
I know for a fact that man has no sense of humour.
Sorry mate, wrong number.
Unknown Number
Wonderful reasoning, stranger.
Given that I *told* you. I would like to say it's not that much of a suprise.
Unknown Number
I know. I'm a very smart man, stranger on my phone.
AHA.
I have a name for you.
Stranger In My Pocket
So very ingenious really.
Truly impressed.
However...
Why the fuck would you give a random person on your phone a nickname?
Unknown Number
Same reason you still answered babes.
Just curious and bored.
Stranger In My Pocket
....
I'm leaving now, goodbye.
Unknown Number
But the stranger on my phone!
I have nothing better to do!
Stranger In My Pocket
Do you not have friends or something?
Not that this isn't *so* delightful, of course.
But some of us have coursework to actually do for our classes.
Unknown Number
Come on!
And I do have friends.
Only that he is currently thirsting over my other friend.
and pining quite terribly.
There are only so many times a man can hear his friend go on
about his other bestfriends amazing qualities before he calls it quits.
I'm also very much ignoring what I think is sarcasm on your last text.
Stranger In My Pocket
I would say it couldn't be me.
But that is very much me.
Only that my friends don't realize it.
So it's pining but with more moping.
Glad you noticed the sarcasm ;)
Unknown Number
OH was that a winky face, stranger?
ALSO please don't be a 50 year old person, cause this is about to be awkward if you are.
Stranger In My Pocket
...
I literally just told you I had coursework to do?
...
You are in uni too, right?
Oblivious Idiot
OH THANK GOD.
Oh wait.
You gave me a nickname!
Stranger In My Pocket
🤦
...
Ok. Goodbye.
Oblivious Idiot
No wait!
...
Stranger?
Hi?
Ok, you left.
Now I'm bored again.
...
hi.
Stranger In My Pocket
Jesus fucking christ, you really don't have friends do you?
Oblivious Idiot
STRANGER
Stranger In My Pocket
I'm going to regret this aren't I.
Oblibious Idiot
Well given that you aren't blocking me.
I would like to think this isn't too bad.
Stranger In My Pocket
I'm tempted to....
stranger?
oh shit you actually left.
I mean deserved.
Anywho, bye, stranger.
Oblivious Idiot
WAIT
I didn't leave!
SOrry, my pining friend just came back.
Is moping again.
Apparently friend #2 didn't realize friend #1 likes them.
I suppose that staring at them dumbly doesn't really say much about feelings.
Stranger In My Pocket
Well, good luck to both friends.
Cause seeing how my friend #1 and #2 are going...
that might take a while.
Oblivious Idiot
We are hoping that our Moony figures that out before friend #1 passes out.
Because he will die otherwise.
Stranger In My Pocket
Moony?
Oblivious Idiot
OH. That's friend #2's nickname.
I would say friend #1's nickname but he made me solemnly swear that I couldn't.
So, you are stuck with just friend #1.
Unless I think of something else.
And seeing how it's going. You can just call him Mangy Mutt.
Stranger In My Pocket
....
This oddly sounds like a gang?
Oblivious Idiot
Yeah. A gang :D of friends :D
Stranger In My Pocket
Oh Lord.
Oblivious Idiot
That's what she said.
Stranger In My Pocket
Yeah no. Blocked for sure.
Oblivious Idiot
But Stranger in my Pocket!
ok yeah, thats getting to long to type out
I will just call you...
SIMP
Stranger In My Pocket
Simp? I literally have not simped for anything rn?
I'm confused.
Oblivious Idiot
And you call me oblivious...
Those are your initials!
Stranger in my phone = simp.
:D
Stranger In My Pocket
I'm concerened as to why I'm answering back.
But whatever.
Oblivious Idiot
But Simp!
Stranger In My Pocket
No.
Oblivious Idiot
Then what do I call you, Stranger in my Phone!
Stranger In My Pocket
How about you don't?
Given that I'm only texting you for today.
Oblivious Idiot
You're leaving me???
I'm proper heartbroken now.
Stranger In My Pocket
God help me.
Fine.
You can call me Leo.
Oblivious Idiot
Is that your name?
Stranger In My Pocket
Yeah of course not? We just met?
Oblivious Idiot
We are proper friends now Leo!
...
Is it an astrology thing?
My friend is obsessed with stuff like that.
Stranger In My Pocket
Sure whatever, friend who I don't know the name of.
And yeah...sort of.
Your pining friend?
Oblivious Idiot
Yeah, my pining friend :(
Who right now is telling me to stop ignorning him
So I might have to go.
Stranger In My Pocket
Tell pining friend to talk to Moony.
Ask him out to a movie or something.
That might help a little bit.
Idk I think that would help my friends if they weren't so oblivious to their own feelings.
Oblivious Idiot
Will do Leo :)
Text you later
Stranger In My Pocket
Text you later, stranger.