Fuck, Marry, Kill and Friendzone

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
Fuck, Marry, Kill and Friendzone
All Chapters Forward

The start

Hogwarts was a hard school to get into. You either get into the school by being, Rich, smart or need to correct your behavior. Luckily you fit into the Smart category. You were the only one that got the highest mark in the entrance exam. You were so excited. New friends, new experience.

One year later and you have progressed well. Except there Is one small issue. 

You were popular and loved. And you hated it. You aren't outgoing and friendly. But you've achieved so much and made so many people trust and respect you, that you're suddenly the most popular girl in the Ravenclaw group.

You find it weird that the school is divided into four groups based on teacher recommendations, extracurricular choices, and student preferences. You, having high marks, were accepted in Ravenclaw fairly easily. Part of being in a group was having to wear their colors. So you were often spotted wearing sweaters, jackets, hoodies, and cardigans that were blue.

Another thing, you were as popular as the four other guys that ruled the school.

Tom Riddle was bold, kind, and cocky. He had a personality and charmed the whole school. He can do anything he wanted to, as long as he has the drive and determination. He is well-liked around the Slytherins. Often called the king of Slytherins or Riddle Master. 

Draco Malfoy was callous but clever. Mean but gentle sometimes. He was the school bully but wasn't so mean about it. He'd make snarky jokes about some people and they laughed. He is also well-liked among the Slytherins. He is nicknamed the prince of Slytherins.

Harry Potter is kind, brave, and heroic. Often breaking up fights and clashing with Draco Malfoy. Both of them didn't like each other so much. But after realizing that they could spark a rivalry between the two groups, they learned how to get along. He has been nicknamed the boy who lived after surviving from a car crash in his 3rd year. Sadly, his parents didn't make it.

And finally, Cedric Diggory. He is caring, kind, and protective. Fiercely loyal to his friends, he helps out the whole school and can put any crying student at ease. He loves taking care of people.  His nickname is Honeybadger.

 

All four of them considered you to be a good friend. But you had no idea why. Sure, you showed up to their meetings to discuss how to make the school safer and better, but other than that, you didn't talk to a lot of people. There was the exception of Laurelie and Tori, but they've known you since childhood. They were lucky enough to get into the school with you. So you'd usually talk to them. But almost all of the time, you were silent, spoke when you were talking, and only attended to social events when necessary. 

That all changed when you were asked a simple question.

---

I, Laurelie, and Tori were sitting at the small circular table in the corner. Laurelie then asked me a question. 
"Fuck, Marry, Kill, Friendzone. Cedric, Harry, Tom, and Draco." I thought for a second. This question interested me. I quickly formed an answer in my head. I knew just enough to make a quick decision. I also based my preferences and what I wanted out of a relationship. Those factors influenced my answer.

Fuck Tom, Marry Cedric, Kill Draco, and Friendzone Harry." Tori nodded in agreement. I mean, she wouldn't fuck her brother but understood what I meant.

"Why?" She was curious about my thought process, which I love about her. Always indulging in my ramblings. I started talking. 

"I'd fuck Tom since he'd be a really good kisser and would probably find out what I'd like. He did charm the whole school. I'd marry Cedric because he's the type of person that would be perfect to spend the rest of your life with. He can cook and give good advice. I'd kill Draco because I can't trust him. I can't trust if he'd be nice all the time. Then I'd friendzone Harry because he's a good friend. He's loyal and kind. But I don't think he'd be ready for a relationship just yet." Tori and Laurelie just looked shocked.

"T-turn around," Tori told me. Her mouth was gaping like someone striking the fear in her eyes. Confused, I looked back. Oh god no.

Tom, Cedric, Draco, and Harry were looking at me. Mixed expressions danced on their face. Tom was smirking, hiding his hands behind him. Cedric gave me a warm smile, his hands on his hips. Draco looked pissed. For some reason he shot me a cold glare, crossing his arms. And Harry looked disappointed, looking away from me and burning his hands in his pockets. Tom spoke first.

"I'm glad you think of me this way. I'd love to try this scenario out sometime." He winked as I finched. What is happening? He gives me a toothy grin. He was pretty satisfied with my answer. 

"Just so you know, I am ready for a relationship. Especially a relationship with you." He grumbled, my face flushed. He was pretty annoyed with my response. He probably thought we were stable enough for a relationship, but I highly disagree.  I was scared. Scared of the social consequences that this can bring me.  This was the first time that I spoke casually to my student government coworkers. Draco scoffed.

"How dare you kill me?! I'm husband material and a good fucker. I have every right to change your mind. This is ridiculous!" He exclaimed. looking embarrassed. He hates it when his ego is threatened. This is why I usually try to stroke it when we meet up for student government. This is not going so well. What is going to happen to me next?

Cedric only chuckled, saying, "I'm truly happy that you see me like this. All I've wanted was to make you open up to me, and for you to fancy me. Because I fancy you." My eyes widened. What did he say? He barely knows me. He's not my friend, nor do I want to be friends with him. What does he see in me? To my horror,the other four agreed. Nodding their heads and tripping over themselves to explain their love for me. "Love" is A heavy word for four people who barely even talk to me outside of meetings. Each giving me their confession. Tom seemed genuine, Draco was overly honest and Harry was humble. Then, Tom had this horrible idea. I don't know how he came up with it, but I know it wasn't good. 

"Hm. Let's all open a contest. Whoever can charm Y/N and win her heart gets her to themselves, and gets to be the acting president of the Student government. My eyes widened. Now hang on a bit, I want to be school president. Being the school president was highly beneficial to get the groups to stop feuding. I practically jumped at the opportunity. 

"How about, if I don't decide by the end of the year, I'll become school president." I crossed my arms. I was determined to guard my heart and keep out of trouble. But by that time, everyone was looking at us. Which meant that this is now a school-wide problem.  Tom flashed a toothy grin. He held his hand out.


"Deal."

---

Harry

 Rambling to Hermoine and Ron, I started pouring my feelings out. "I don't understand, why does she think that I'm not ready for a relationship." Hermoine shook her head. She shot me this pitying look. I hated that look. 


"She right. You're too unrestrained and get hurt easily. I think the person who would date you would worry about you too much." Ron nodded in agreement. Him too? Why are they ganging up on me?


"Mate, you're impulsive and do not know the first thing about taking care of a girl." I looked away. Both of them made good points, but I can't give up now.

"Well, I'll try to better myself. For Y/N because she's worth it."  I was determined to get her to fancy me. She is so diplomatic and caring, I need her in my life. And I want to love her. Hermoine gave me a knowing smile and Ron patted me on the back. Looking sorry for me. He knew the great lengths I have to go through to get her to be mine.

"Good luck mate."

---

Draco

Obviously, I was in a sour mood. I had a grimace on my face for the rest of the day. I only grumbled and had a short temper when I was talking to people. I was eating dinner at the dining hall. Pansy sighed, getting annoyed at my attitude. She was fed up with how I was acting. I didn't care. My heart just got shattered, I have every right to burn this whole school down. 

"She has a point. You know that, right?" I snapped my head to her, glaring daggers at her. How could she say that? Blaise cleared his throat, preparing to give me a sound explanation. 

"You do have a big ego. Not to mention that you're not exactly a saint at this school. She's so guarded with her heart, simply. She doesn't trust you." My face reddened. I hated hearing that. I trust her with everything I have. It's frankly insulting that she doesn't do the same. We've known each other since 1st year and she has the audacity to paint me as a manipulative monster.

"She doesn't trust me?! We're groupmates, I have never failed her when she wanted me to complete a task." I was getting frustrated, what do they mean by this? I've never failed her. Never broken my promises. I was always there. I can't fathom why she wouldn't trust me. I'm hurt. She singled me out from all of those blithering idiots and made me feel unloveable. How could she even say that so casually?

"She knows that you're responsible and academically inclined, but come on. You're not good at expressing feelings, you're jealous and possessive, egotistical, used to getting what you want, and usually play with people's hearts when it benefits you. What makes her think that you wouldn't do the same-" I cut her off, dismissing that stupid notion.

"I would never. Ever. Hurt her. You of all people should know that, Pansy. you both know how long I've fancied her. How long I've pined after her. I won't give up. I'll earn her trust. And that starts with one thing." Pansy and Blaise leaned in closer to hear my plan. Suddenly interested in my latest scheme. I smirked, showing my cards.

"Getting her parents to like me." 

---

Tom

"Ok, listen up. Since you're my darling brother, I'll answer your questions about Y/n. Go." I had a laundry list of questions, each ranging from casual to personal. We were sitting on the courtyard bench. My journal was open, to a clean page. 

"So, what's her favorite color?" I start off small. To get Tori comfortable with answering questions. I didn't want to jump in so suddenly. 
"Blue." Typical, but pretty cute in my opinion. I notice her blue attire every single day. God, she's so cute. No wonder the other three fancies her. I mean, she's so pretty. 

"Favorite food?" I start writing down the answers, formulating an intricate plan in my head. I took this very seriously. Its Y/n. She deserves the utmost best. And those three guys are nowhere near the best. Harry's impulsive, Draco's an arsehole and Cedric is too soft. I'm obviously the perfect guy for her. I'm well-adjusted and responsible. I can be anything she wants. Anything.

"She likes fruits, so apples and berries." I nodded, maybe I can give her a gift basket. Is that too basic? Probably. Maybe I can gift her apple seeds. Or a whole garden bed near her dorm. 

"Ok, what's her type." I eased into the personal questions. Tori took a second to think of a precise answer. I understood, Y/n never had her heart on her sleeves, she isn't so open to others. But Tori and Laurelie know the most about her. It's such a perk having a sister that is best friends with my crush.

"She likes dependable people. People that can take care of her, that she can trust. Which is why she chose to kill Draco. She wants people who are in tune with their emotions, and requires them to be honest with her. Probably smart and well-adjusted gentlemen." I nodded. Being a gentleman is going to be extremely difficult when it comes to my playboy attitude. But if I have to act tame to get her to fall for me, then that's that.  Draco is the exact opposite of what she needs. So I know he will be the one that will struggle in this competition. 

"Last question, who was her crush." Tori's eyes widened. She sighed. "You better not spread this around." I nodded, eager to get her answer. She sighed, trying to put this to me lightly.

"She liked Harry Potter." My eyes narrowed. Now that I think of it, he almost matched her type description. He's dependable. "She was going to ask him out, 2nd year. But when he lost his parents around 3rd year, she picked up the fact that he wouldn't be ready for a relationship until he dealt with his emotional grief. She wanted to help but ultimately, didn't know how to. But, I still think she still has a thing for him." I sighed, instantly stressed out. This is going to be even harder. Harry has an advantage, and if he knew this information, he will double down on it and start making moves. I ran my fingers through my hair. What do I do now?

I got it. I'll show her that I am emotionally stable and available. I'll show her my vulnerable side. Get her to trust me. This is perfect. I can pull this off as long as I keep the Harry card under my sleeves. I smirked. 

"Thanks, Tori." 

---

Cedric

"You just need to talk to her more. You have the ultimate advantage! You're definitely husband material. Just ask her out to the new diner next to our school. I saw her staring inside the store." I nodded. I was still pretty nervous. She barely talks to anyone. But I intend to change that. I bet the others are planning something intricate but I don't want to treat this like a competition, I just want to keep it casual. I notice that y/n tends to shy away from serious social interactions. I just want her to be comfortable with me.

"I can ask her today, the diner is open until 11 pm." Cho nodded. "Her schedule is pretty open." I hummed in agreement. If I take the first step, then I can get an advantage in all of this. She deserves better. Not a stupid competition that will play with her heart.

I just want to make her happy. If I lose, I don't care. As long as I can at least be close friends with her.

It will all be worth it. 

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