Shitty Prank Planning
Welcome to New York, it's been waitin' for you
Welcome to New York, welcome to New York
Welcome to New York, it's been waitin' for you
Welcome to New York, welcome to New York
Ursa shows up to watch them practice with Dorcas, Pandora, Cardaroc, Benji, Mary and Lily. James protests that they’re here to gather intel but Ursa makes it clear they’re only there to ogle and the Prewett that isn’t currently red as his hair bouches for them “Where’s Moony?” Sirius pouts “Evans! Why isn’t Moony with you to ogle me?”
“He said he’d rather choke on a very shallow puddle than see your ugly mutt”
“That’s not what he said!” Sirius drops his bat ready to beat his sister up “Moony loves my gorgeous face!”
“Ursa, if you can’t shut up, I’m calling McGonagall” James threatens and Ursa smirks a devilish grin “Pads, ignore her, she’s just messing with you”
“So this crush of hers is real?” Mary asks Ursa and frowns at Dorcas watching attentively Marlene’s every move.
“Yes. And I can hear you, you know?” she spares them a quick glance just to glare at them
“Be nice to them, they’re her best friends” Ursa tuts hiding a smile in anticipation and Dorcas delivers. She gasps loudly and hops down a row of seats to meet them
“Yes! She’s right! You can give me pointers, what does she like?” she leans into Mary and Lily eagerly. They share a look between them, a silent conversation debating whether to talk or not.
“Why don’t you tell us what you like and we’ll tell you if she likes it too?” Mary compromises, always looking after her friend. Ursa wants to roll her eyes but doesn’t. Instead, she waves over to a hufflepuff girl who lights up as soon as she spots her.
Ursa spends all of their quidditch practice learning sign language. Peter’s pretty sure that’s what’s happening there with the young Hufflepuff. He’s still hovering on his broom over the ground and staring with a frown when Ursa catches his eye. She gestures for him to fly over with that coy grin she’s mastered. He does, because there’s people watching and it’d be weird if he didn’t. It’s not because he wants to. No. Of course not. Definitely not. Never. The fact that she’ll probably kiss him doesn’t have him flying faster.
She gives him a little peck and fine, he’ll admit, he wishes it was longer, he has hormones, sue him, he likes kissing a pretty girl, okay?!
“You looked good out there” she tells him and he knows he turns red even though he knows she wasn’t watching. Not that he was paying her attention. He was a bit weary she’d mess with them, or Sirius, so maybe he glanced over once or twice but that’s it. Nothing more. Not because she’s nice to look at or because she looks pretty when she’s trying to learn something new. Of course not, it was just precaution.
“I thought we said no flirting”
“I meant good as in happy, but now that you mention it, you know I wasn’t lying about those pants, they really are something” before he can think of anything else to say one of the Prewetts lands near them and the Benji gives him a standing ovation with slow, appreciative claps
“You sexy motherfucker!” he whoops and the others chuckle “Why don’t we walk you to the showers? I feel like you need us to walk you to the showers'' he loops an arm around his waist and kisses his sweat soaked temple.
“I can give you a ride on my broom if you want” he says as he tosses his other broom to his twin. Cardaroc takes Fabian’s other side and Peter’s eyes widen a bit, he does a double take as Fabian squeezes one boy’s bum in each hand
“Wait, I thought Benji and Fabian were dating” Peter frowns as Benji’s hand disappears under Cardaroc’s clothes
“They are” Ursa tells him
“But Cardaroc—” that’s as far as he gets, he doesn’t make it to the end of the question because he doesn’t know how that question ends
“Him too”
“Huh?”
“You’ve heard about polyamory before, have you not?”
“Huh. Does that mean if I want to date someone else I can?”
“Do you want to see someone else beside me, Pet?”
“Of course not” he does have some survival instinct after all
“Mhm, go get the stink off of you, come meet me later” she pecks him in parting, careful not to kiss a sweaty inch of his body. Peter waves to the rest, who aren’t paying him any attention in the slightest, and Ursa holds a fist to her forehead as she turns back to the Hufflepuff girl. Idiot. The younger one giggles and they go back to signing.
Everybody here was someone else before
And you can want who you want
Boys and boys and girls and girls
“Why did you tell me to meet you?” Peter asks once he’s nice and clean smelling, Ursa waves goodbye to Alice before she turns to face him
“This” Ursa grabs a fistful of his shirt and tugs him towards her. She kisses him as she walks him to the Quidditch Pitch, their lips never parting “Accio broom” she mumbles against his lips and it comes soaring through to them but Peter gets distracted by his left hand sneaking down her back lower and lower while the other slips down the hem of her shirt, up and up. He steps closer to her and opens his mouth wider but she pulls away “Catch me if you can, Pet” She runs into riding the broom in one swift movement, so graceful it’s hard to tell when exactly she stopped running and started flying instead.
Peter summons his broom, with his wand, and takes off after her, the wind blowing against his face and laughing when she dodges him. She has an odd technique, one he’s never seen before, probably because it’s fucking dangerous and not allowed in Quidditch. She flattens herself entirely along her broom like she’s part of it and seems to maneuver the thing with her feet instead of her hands. She moves on to teasing him with giggles and his vengeance is made with laughter.
In a particular close call to catching her, he loses sight of her. He looks around but she’s nowhere to be found. That only leaves one way: up.
He looks up and finds a smirk hovering above him, close enough to grab. "Got ya"
"Just because you have me doesn't mean you get to keep me" she winks at him and he can’t wait to wipe that cocky smug off her face. Preferably with a kiss. Not that he wants to kiss her. He just happens to enjoy kissing and right now he has the appetite to do just that and well she’s right there, she’ll have to do.
He reaches for her leg but she twirls and swirls dodging his hand with ease. She dangles off the broom hanging just by her knees and smirks.
He rolls his eyes at her blatant flex, she's been showing off for long enough, but his scowl is met with soft, gentle lips. He parts his lips and he's never kissed someone upside down before. It's weird but somehow also fun and— he hears it before he sees it, some nasty Slytherins whining about the field. Ursa startles, even though he’s never ever seen her startle before. She squeals and then she's falling, right onto his chest. For a second her not dying means more than all the other horrible things about her. She might be psycho, he might be weary around her, but he now knows for a fact he doesn’t want her to die. Progress? What does the fact that he wasn’t certain about it before say about him? Probably more about him than about her
She knocks the breath out of him but he manages to catch her, even if he'll probably have bruises to show for it later. Ursa seems unbothered by almost plummeting down to her death and just giggles into his chest. It's the adrenaline and ridiculousness of the whole situation, even just that they were kissing with her legs up in the air, that makes him fall into her laughing. His body’s pumping with life and adrenaline over the fall and collision. When she peers up at him he doesn’t think about it twice and just kisses her. It’s dirty and unrefined, open mouth of teeth and swapping spit, but it’s thrilling and it makes him smile.
Then the Slytherins remind them of their presence once more. He keeps an arm behind her back as he flies them down to make sure she doesn't fall off and she nestles into the crook of his neck "you're actually pretty comfy"
"I thought you hated human touch"
"Oh, I still do, but as far as human touch goes, you're not that bad"
"Not that bad, huh? You really know how to compliment a guy"
"I thought you didn’t like compliments"
"Not gonna lie,” his delirious mind comes back to earth when he hits the ground as the adrenaline gives its last valiant kick and reality seeps back in. As much as he pretends or ignores it, this is still Ursa and everything is plastic “I prefer it when you don’t talk” she turns to him with a devious smirk
“Who’s flirting now?”
“That’s not what I— Actually, that’s true too” he hums at the realization and shuts her up before she can say something snarky.
They make it to the Gryffindor tower between kisses and touches and that’s where he realizes the solution has been right here in front of him this whole time. Any time she tries to talk or manipulate him, he ignores her words and just snogs her instead. He kisses her until his lips throb and Lily drags Ursa away to study or something, Peter wasn’t paying attention.
It's a new soundtrack, I could dance to this beat, beat forevermore
The lights are so bright, but they never blind me, me
Welcome to New York, it's been waitin' for you
Welcome to New York, welcome to New York
“Why are you in my room?” Ursa sighs at the sight of Regulus sprawled out on her bed.
“James said he was busy with ‘official marauder business’”
“A, you’re pathetic, B, get out of my bed before I hex you”
“Can you do my nails?” he asks as he begrudgingly rolls of her bed
“Fine. But only if you walk me through all of tomorrow’s classes. Starting with potions”
“Deal. We really are nerds, aren’t we?”
“Yeah. That’s why we know how to kick ass”
“Okay. We’ll be mixing the Draught of Peace next class." He talks in heavy detail for over an hour, expanding on certain topics that might be useful to know or included in their OWLs. She had to start all over again because he didn’t like having James’ Bitch spelled on his nails but the words fitted just right and it’d been too tempting to pass out on.
He admires the green and blue fire brought to life by Ursa’s skilled hands and wand “The full moon’s coming up” she reminds him sorting out through her books for the following day
“Good”
“I take it your little alchemist's plan to diminish his pain is on hold?”
“Au contraire. Je vais commencer par la théorie la plus douloureuse” On the contrary. I'm gonna start with the most painful theory
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?”
“Maybe you’re just underreacting. Besides, I thought he was my friend—or whatever”
"Awww,” she stops what she’s doing to pout at him “did the mean boy hurt your feelings?"
"Shut up" he flings a pillow at her head and she dodges it
“He was your friend by the way. Until you started treating him like shit”
“You’re defending him now?”
“Nah, I just understand why he’s a whore”
“And why’s that?” he asks with a huff, already too accustomed to Ursa. He’s usually the exception, she tends to restrict herself from actively manipulating him, but he’s seen here enough times in action to know better.
She isn’t though, not actively at least. Now, simply speaking her mind… Now that’s a whole different story. “My guess is it’s the same reason he works out: he wants to feel in control of his own body. He was assaulted at a very young age and he gets reminded of it every single month. He’s stripped off the autonomy over his own body on a monthly basis and he’ll have to for the rest of his life. He has no prospect of it ever getting better, none realistic enough for him to believe it, if only it’ll get worse. He’s doomed for all of his mortal eternity. Of course he would want to feel like he has some sense control over it”
“So you’re saying he’s just a control freak like you?” he rolls his eyes so far back she can only see the whites of them
“I’m saying he’s a sentimental idiot like you. He won’t even consider anyone else now that Sirius finally admitted out loud that he wants him, so stop acting like he did anything wrong. Also, according to Peter the full moon makes him very horny” he looks away from her, refusing to meet her eye, and she knows that means he’ll think about it
Like any great love, it keeps you guessing
Like any real love, it's ever-changing
Like any true love, it drives you crazy
But you know you wouldn't change anything, anything, anything
The marauders are putting all their brains to work on their walk to class. What revenge can they get on Snape without having him divulge to the entire school Remus’ furry little secret? Maybe make it seem like a collective house attack? But then the threat would fall mute.
That’s when the other two Blacks walk up to them. Remus rolls his eyes at the sight of Regulus and says he’ll go find Lily but Regulus doesn’t say anything mean to him, progress. James kisses Regulus hello and Ursa kisses Peter’s cheek
“Ugh,” Ursa grunts at the sight of Sirius “you have your I’m stupid and am planning on proving it face”
“I don’t have such a face and I’m not making it!”
“hello love, did you sleep well?” James beams at a sleepy Regulus entirely ignoring the other two
“Without you” he huffs and James lets out a delighted laugh as he pulls him into his chest
“How about you, sleep alright?” Peter asks Ursa
“I didn’t dream about a cat trying to eat me, if that’s what you mean”
“That was one time!” he cries and she giggles
“Are you two friends now?” Sirius grinds
“Haven’t you heard?” Ursa bats her lashes at him “we’re more than friends” He rolls his eyes.
“Maybe we should remind him” Peter smirks and offers Ursa his lips, which she takes eagerly. His hand travels from her hip to the small of her waist pulling her close. Yes, he doesn’t mind this acting, he doesn’t mind it a bit.
“Ew! Enough! That’s disgusting!” Sirius swats them apart and they’re both chuckling when Peter notices they’ve attracted a greasy set of eyes to them. Sirius and Ursa fall back on their usual bickering. Peter tucks her into his side and whispers to Sirius his discovery. He stiffens instantly and Ursa frowns at the two of them
“I’ll walk you to class doll” he presses a kiss to her temple, her eyes flash with understanding at the nickname, they’re being watched, and she beams at him, always quick to play the part. She wraps her arms around his neck and drags him away with twinkling eyes. She rounds the corner, away from Sirius but still witness to students’ eyes, she pulls him into a dizzying kiss. He forgets all about Snape and just kisses her, enjoying the taste of her lips for a moment. She pulls back, intertwines their fingers together and tugs him along to where prying ears won’t hear them and eyes won’t find them “Is it wrong if I like it?” he licks his lips because he can’t deny he enjoys the feel of her
He can’t tell if her smile is real or fake but he pretends it’s honest “Not at all” she tucks his hair behind his ear
“Well then, you know, someone might come round the corner and see us” she lets out a little laugh and leans in so their lips are a breath apart
“There aren’t here though” she pulls back with a teasing smirk and turns her back on him
“Hold on, I wanted to show you something, over there, where there’s multiple people” she pulls him ahead with a giggle and meets him with a kiss as stares greet them. He pulls back a second later and whispers so only they will hear “is it okay?” despite the joking he needs to know she’s okay with it. She nods and smiles against his lips as she gives him another peck
“Do I need to remind you not to fall in love?” Sirius clears his throat beside them
“I don’t think wanting to shag someone counts as love” he mumbles against her lips, distracted because she tastes of mint and something he can’t name
“You want to shag my little sister?!” Sirius squeals and he takes off running before he can catch him. Ursa smiles to herself as she walks off in the opposite direction.
Walkin' through a crowd, the village is aglow
Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats
Everybody here wanted somethin' more
Searchin' for a sound we hadn't heard before
It’s late into the night and Peter has had too much candy, James had the good sense to stop before giving himself a stomach ache. He unfurls the map to distract himself from the persistent pain. Two lonely feet instantly draw his attention. They’re on the grounds, a naughty kid out of bed. He reads the name, Ursa Black. Of course. He can’t ever seem to escape her. After a few moments of watching her confident stride he notices where they’re headed. The forbidden forest. He glances at Remus’ bed with the curtains drawn, Sirius inside it. Should he tell him? Does it even matter? Ursa vanishes into the woods, her steps fading into the corner of the map. Maybe they should plot the forest.
Peter paces their room. Kingsley throws a jinx his way and Peter shuts himself back in his bed, drumming his hands anxiously and making his stomach worse by adding crackers to the mix. The minutes keep passing and she isn’t back. On the hour mark he decides to wake James. He’s hovering by his bed about to wake him when he notices the two dots appear back on the map. He watches her steps make it back to her common room in the dungeons. There’s another set of feet waiting there, Snape’s. Of all the possible people, it had to be him. Snape’s unmoving feet get on the move as soon as she steps through the door. Peter opens another package of crackers and munches on them in a way very remarkably similar to a rat. Snape’s feet stop behind hers. She changes direction so she’s facing him. She takes a step towards him and he takes a step back a second later. They stay there for two whole crackers and then they each head to their own room. Peter sets down his crackers and tries to sleep
When he tells the rest of the Marauders the next morning, even if he’s clear he isn’t sure what it meant or what really happened, they settle they must make it clear to Snape to stay away from her without him finding out the Marauders are involved, they truly need him to keep Remus’ secret a secret. Dumbledore assured them he talked to Severus and he wouldn’t say a word but Peter and Remus didn’t trust Snape enough to do that despite what the old man with a beard said. They’re not about to recklessly risk it, especially when Peter reminds them Dorcas is right about Ursa’s twisted mind probably coming up with something far more messed up than they can.
“Maybe we should just do nothing and let her handle it, I really don’t think she needs our help for this”
“It isn’t about her needing our help, it’s about her learning that she has it, that she has someone she can rely on, she can depend on us” James, always selfless and caring, tells him
“She can’t depend on me. I mean, no offense Pads, but if she weren’t your sister I’d run away from her as fast as I can”
“If she weren’t his sister you probably wouldn’t know how messed up she is” Remus reminds him “you’d probably fall for her charming fasade like most people in this school”
“I know, it’s actually a bit creepy how many people have a genuine crush on her” James agrees
“That’s because she flirts with them and pretends to be their perfect other half, it’s actually kind of fascinating to watch, she’s like a chameleon”
“Sometimes I think not even she knows what the real her is. Or if that counts as the real her. She can actually be really nice to people when she wants” James tells them
“Right?!” Peter calls “It throws me off, she acts all nice and considerate, it messes with my mind. Probably not as much as if she were genuine though, I prefer fake nice than scarring and traumatizing”
“Can you stop talking about my little sister like— just please stop talking about her”
“Sorry Pads, we didn’t mean it in a bad way”
“I kind of did but I’m sorry, she’s your little sister, I won’t talk about her”
“Thank you.” Sirius nods to his hands and Remus slides him to sit on his lap “sometimes I wonder what our relationship would be like if she were nice to me, even if it were fake” he admits
“We just have to be patient, according to that psytrology book I read, she has an avoidant attachment style like Moony and you have an anxious attachment style, so sometimes it clashes”
“You mean psychology, James” Remus corrects him
“Right, that”
“Wait, you're saying Moony and I aren’t compatible?! James, we just started dating! Do you mean we’re gonna break up?!”
“No! Of course not! It just means Remus constantly neglects his own needs”
“You’re not supposed to go around throwing diagnoses at people James”
“See? He’s avoiding emotional closeness and instead of saying outright that he’s uncomfortable, he hints for a different topic trying to shut down the conversation”
“And what am I?”
“Anxious attachment. It’s your parents fault, you’re terrified of rejection because you think it means you’re not ‘worthy of love’ even when they’re not actually rejecting you”
“You mean like when Moony refuses to kiss me in public?” Sirius fidgets with his hands on his lap
“Pads, what are you talking about?” Remus stares at him with a frown
“You made us hide in a broom closet because you didn’t wanna kiss me in the great hall” he admits with a small voice
“Wait, you thought that was me rejecting you?” he asks and Sirius shrugs, still not meeting his eye “I dragged you to a broom closet because I wanted to do more than kiss you”
“So you don’t mind kissing me in public?” Sirius finally looks up at him with hopeful eyes
“Of course not” Remus tells him
“But…” James nudges him
“But what?” Remus huffs at him, clearly irritated
“Do you really want to kiss someone in the middle of the great hall? Is that something you feel comfortable with?” James presses
“It’s fine James, if Sirius wants to make out in the middle of the bloody great hall or the sodding Quidditch pitch then I will bloody kiss him”
“See? that’s what the book talked about, we’re trying to get emotionally closer to you and it’s annoying you so you’re trying to avoid it”
“Shut up James”
“We don’t have to kiss in front of everyone if it makes you uncomfortable”
“I thought you just said you wanted that” Remus tells Sirius
“Yes, but so long as you’re not… hiding me…”
“Never” Remus kisses his temple “I just don’t—” he glares at James who’s encouraging slash forcing him to go on “I don’t like it when big crowds stare at me.” he sighs with an irritated look at James “It makes me feel self conscious”
“Can I still yell that you’re mine?”
“You can do whatever you want” Remus assures him
“But are you comfortable with it?” James prods and Remus is very close to punching him. Which means James is probably right
“I want everyone to know you’re mine, alright? Happy James?”
“It’s alright for now, but you should think of coming up with clear boundaries, you know, where you draw the line and stuff”
“Fine. That’s actually not a terrible idea”
“Just for that I’m not gonna tell you how proud of you I am even though I am because I know you won’t like it”
“What’s mine?” Sirius asks before Remus can react
“I think you’re mostly secure, like me”
“That’s not fair!”
“It stems from your childhood” James explains to Sirius
“Oh, that makes sense, wait, what’s Reggie’s?”
“I think he’s both, anxious-avoidant. One of the characteristics is they’re ‘unlikely to seek help in stressful situations’”
“Yeah, that sounds like him”
“The books are actually quite useful, like now I know it’s very important that I always try to be as transparent as I can with him and I can make an active effort to do that”
“Weren’t you already transparent about everything?”
“I used to tell him I had prank-planning when I had to take a shit but now I just tell him I have to poop”
“Wait, so you weren’t prank-planning without me?” Sirius lights up like it’d been something that’d been weighing on him
“Of course not” Peter snorts and Sirius preens
“I’ll let you borrow my books if you want”
When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors
Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer