Black Family Line

Stood there and watched you walk away

From everything we had

But I still mean every word I said to you

He will try to take away my pain

And he just might make me smile

But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

“Who’s there?!” Regulus cries out, raising his wand, to the empty dark corridor near the dungeons

“The better embryo”

“Ha. Ha.” he lowers his wand with a scowl

“Someone’s in a bad mood” Ursa tsks

“Look, I’m not in the mood to—”

“—to deal with your emotions as anything other than an immature, pestering child? Yes, I can see that”

“Shut up” he hisses and she rolls her eyes

“That’s not gonna happen, so you might as well tell me what it’s about. Why don’t I take a wild guess and say it has to do with Narcissa”

“It doesn’t! We didn’t abandon Narcissa!” round and round they go to the conversation they had when he spotted Alice’s necklace

“I agree”

“You agree?” he turns to her with a surprised scowl “But before— you said—”

“Narcissa isn’t the reason I said that”

“Then why did you?” he gets a shrug in response “No. Ursa, stop it. Stop playing mind games. Why did you?!”

“Alright fine, you’re no fun, I said it so you’d stop being a whiny little wimp about Sirius 'abandoning you’ or whatever it is you keep bitching about; it's both boring and annoying"

"He did abandon me!"

"So?"

"So?! So it fucking hurt!" He chokes the word out "he left! He left us behind! He left! He left us alone, how could he do that?!"

"Yeah, I used to feel that way too" she whispers into the dead of night

"You did?" He rasps, the surprise taking over his pain and anger for a moment

"Yeah, Black Brothers Club? I hated it. Hated you both too. Mostly him. It felt like you were abandoning me for him. But you know what I did?"

“Butchered a bunny?”

“After that”

"What?"

"I fucking grew up." 

"Oh, fuck you"

"No. Are you really so mentally undeveloped that you can't grasp the simple concept that just because you feel something, it doesn't make it a bloody fact? He ran. He ran to save his life. He ran because it was the best thing for him, it was what he needed to do for himself, it was the right thing for him. And yeah, maybe it hurt you, and maybe you felt abandoned but that isn't what he did. He may be our older brother but he was just a child trying to survive, he's still nothing more than just an idiot child!"

"Oh please! You treat him worse than I ever have"

"I'm not the one who said I wanted a good relationship with him, I am more than okay with him hating me for the rest of our lives. In fact, I prefer it. But if you want what you say you want, you're gonna have to bloody grow up and get over it!"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're wasting time and—" she cuts herself off with a deep breath "I care about very few people and you chart above all of them. I want you to be happy, even if you’re determined to let your feelings guide you instead of your head. Might’ve spent a bit too much time with that bloody dumb boyfriend of yours"

“He says we’re entitled to feeling whatever horrible thing we feel so long as we don’t act upon it” he turns his silver rings in his hands

“Won’t you look at that? It sounds like he and I finally agree on something”

“How do you do it? How do you take what you feel and swallow it up and not let it… consume you— and don’t say you don’t feel, I know you do”

“I intellectualize things instead of emoting, so I guess it’s kind of true that I don’t… feel. When it comes to that, you really are better off listening to your boy-toy. It’s kind of disgusting and personally it repulses me, but psychology says his way is healthier”

“Are you really telling me to feel?”

“What I’m telling you is to stop being a grumpy sower-puss and if emoting is what’ll get you there faster, well then, you know I’m all for shortcuts” she says and he chuckles. He wraps his arms around her and she shoves him back with an “Ew” he kisses the top of her head and she lets him hug her “Come on, I’ll walk you to your room”

She goes with him all the way there and lingers by the door frame when she should be leaving. The curtains are open and Evan’s face is peaceful, using Barty’s arm as a pillow, but there’s clear tear-tracks on his cheeks “you can say hello, you know” Regulus whispers and Ursa shakes her mind clear

“No, it’s fine, goodnight”

“Are you intellectualizing your feelings right now?” Regulus nudges with a smug smile

“Just thinking about punching you” she bops his nose and turns round on her heels. She goes without looking back just as Evan stirs

“Mhm? Ursa?”

“Just me, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep”

“Mmmh” is all he says before his mind drifts back into dream land.

Regulus puts his pajamas on slowly but he can’t fall asleep. Not until he tiptoes back to the Gryffindor tower, apologizes to James for being an arse and cuddles into the safety of his arms. “I'm sorry” he tells him.

“It’s fine love”

“No, your psychology books said you have to hold me accountable, that you need to be angry with me until we figure it out”

“It didn’t say I have to be angry, just that we need to talk about it, but it can wait until the morning, yeah? I promise we’ll talk in the morning” Regulus nods. James is always so warm, he feels so perfect against his ice cold hands, like a necessity. He kisses him and falls asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, it sounds like home. Not Grimmauld Place but how home is supposed to feel, what it’s supposed to be. What he wants it to be. James.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Peter's got Ursa figured out. At least that's what he thinks until he comes downstairs to find her dancing on a coffee table with Marlene of all people. She made people-shy Marlene stand on a sodding table and dance like nobody's watching. To ABBA. Oddest thing of all, Marlene seems to be enjoying it. Maybe he doesn't know her as well as she thought she did. He never thought she’d be one to do that. Or Ursa brings out another side of her. A brighter one, like this is what a free Marlene looks like, loud and unrefined.

No, this is her manipulating everything and everyone. Again.

Or just two teenage girls having fun dancing to the song they like

"Is that ABBA I hear?!" James rushes down the stairs shaking his booty on the way calling out for Sirius "Sirius! Dance party!" Sirius comes paddling his way down stairs a second later and zooms past Peter.

There goes everything they talked about last night, in one ear and out the other.

"I think my ears are bleeding" Remus yawns on his way down. James is wiggling his bum and Marlene's pretending to ride it while Sirius whips and slaps it, an interesting dancing technique.

"Peter Pet!" Ursa gleams at the sight of him. She waves him over to them and he does so with a sigh, too early in the morning to fight. She jumps onto his arms seemingly with breeming joy and kisses him sweetly. He can’t help but grimace in response. She stares into his eyes before she cups his jaw ever so tenderly and places a soft and gentle kiss on his lips. "wanna know a secret?" She whispers and he fears it, fears her, he doesn't want to know, doesn't want to find out. Maybe it's better this way, just pretend nothing's wrong and ignore all the clear signs that relaxing around her is a bad idea. But then she pulls back and calls "the floor is lava!" she's out of his arms and back on the table in an instant. Marlene and Mary are squabbling over with James on the couch, trying to topple him over to the ‘lava’.

Sirius and Ursa both end up on the coffee table and their eyes catch before they're chasing after each other, hoping from table to chair to cushion to— Peter? Ursa's wrapped herself around him like an octopus

"Peter doesn't count! He's on the floor, he's a lava-monster!"

"Nah-uh it counts"

"No it doesn't!" They go back and forth for a while, bickering like children, like siblings. And then, right at the same time, even on the same key, they break out a very loud "Regulus!" He figures that's their equivalent for calling out muuuum. It warms his heart to see Sirius so… young? He looks so happy and Peter finally understands. He's had a hard time picturing Ursa as anything other than a monster, but she was this too, maybe a part of her still. To Sirius there were good times too. Peter knew this in theory, but there's a difference between knowing and seeing.

His thoughtful reflection is cut off by Sirius throwing himself at them and all of them tumbling to the ground in a mess of elbows and knees "Aw, bruto, that hurt" She kicks him probably twice as hard. Sirius’ about to punch back when she grips his wrist in an iron fist “Don’t” when has Sirius Black ever heed any warning? He bites her, she punches him on the throat. Then Regulus groans his way down the stairs and stops them from actually murdering one another.

And alright fine, Peter can admit it feels nice. He's not delusional enough to deny it. Having someone to spin around in the common room while everyone breaks up into couples feels nice. Having someone to kiss feels nice. Ursa feels nice. She tastes nice too.

Oh, holding my breath

Won't see you again

Something keeps me holding on to nothing

An arm yanks on Ursa’s on her way to potions. It pins her against the wall with a wand to her neck “Kinky” she winks at Barty and his glaring intensifies. He shoves her back against the wall again but lowers his wand

“Heard you have a boyfriend now”

“Afraid I might still take yours?”

“Stop it.” He hisses and knocks her head back against the wall “You’re gonna talk to Evan. Right. Now.”

“Am I now?”

“Yes” his teeth grind together

“And if I don’t?” she pouts at him sardonically “I’m warning you, I’ve been threatened many times before, so you better get creative”

“He’s your best friend” he argues instead

“Well that’s not creative at all” she reproaches with a careless pout and his jaw twitches, his hand balls into a fist at his side, his nails digging into the flesh of his palm

“This isn’t a game. He’s hurting”

“He’ll get over it” she counters. He glares at her with piercing intensity, begging for something, anything from the person his boyfriend poured so much love onto, she holds it with indifference, she gives him nothing, a blank stare, a bored stare

“Don’t you care? He’s in pain. He’s in pain because of you. You’re hurting him. You’re causing him pain” the knuckles clutching his wand are white “he’s in pain, and I have to watch him suffer and I can’t do anything, even if I know what could take away his sorrow I can’t, because of you” his hand tightens around her throat without even realizing he does it “You’re supposed to care about him the way he cares about you. He would never do this to you and you are making me do this to him”

“Careful,” she smirks with a quick glance at the hand squeezing her neck “Evan might get jealous” she mocks him and his grip constricts around her frail little neck, so easy to break. She thinks she’s indestructible but she’s just so… breakable, just a bit too much force and— “Alright, that’s enough” she sends him tumbling back with a spell “Hmm, Regulus was right”

“Right about what?” Barty clutches his wand

She smirks in the same move, too fast for him to block it, she grits out the spell “veterascet phallus” it hits him straight in the chest, “You should be scared of me” he stumbles back from shock and pats himself up with a sigh of relief when he finds nothing wrong. She’s already gone inside the classroom, where Slughorn is already talking her ear off and she’s smiling like nothing happened. Barty goes to class thinking nothing’s amiss.

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
Something's made your eyes go cold

Sixth years have potions right after fifth years. James is delighted by the extra minutes with Regulus that it gives him. It also means Sirius is busy distracting himself with the first thing he can find. It just so happens that today that thing is his little sister “Whatcha doing?” he leans against Benji and Ursa’s desk as they put away their things

“Leaving” she tells him in her usual unfriendly manner

“Don’t be mean” he pouts at her and she rolls her eyes. She swings her bag over her shoulder and Sirius eyes go comically wide “What the hell happened to your neck?!” She casts a mirror and rolls her eyes at the red bruises from Barty’s hands, she clears them out with a grunt “What the hell happened to you?!” he reaches out to her but she swats his hands away. She shoves past him on her way out. He chases after her but Slughorn calls him back “This isn’t over. We’ll talk” he yells at her retreading figure and she just rolls her eyes again

“I thought those were the… you know, fun kind of bruises” Benji catches up with her and she links her arm with his as she laughs, a laughter that doesn’t quite reach her eyes

“Pads, what’s going on?" James joins Sirius on the desk when Regulus goes in the opposite direction. Sirius grinds his teeth, glaring at the ticking clock.

“I don’t know. She had bruises all over her neck. Fresh. Like someone—” he cuts himself off. If she’d noticed them before he did she would’ve healed them away. He never would’ve even known about them. How much doesn’t he know about? “Meadowes” he hisses “What happened to my sister?”

“You might have to be a tad more specific than that, Black”

“Ursa. She had bruises all over her neck. Like someone strang—” his voice breaks off and he clutches his desk so tight his nails leave a dent “Who. Did. It?” he’s ready for murder, nearly salivating for it

“Oh,” her eyes dart to Snape for a second before they’re back on him “I don’t know” but his gaze followed hers and they narrow on Snape

“Did Snivellous do this?” poison drips off every one of his syllables

“No!” she rushes to say but she’s nowhere near as convincing as the rest of her friends when lying. It’s probably due to being around them so much, no matter how hard she tries they always know when she’s lying, so she just… stopped trying. Now that she’s trying, that skill’s out of use, she’s rusty “I don’t actually know what’s going on, all I know is he’s been chasing her around like a lost puppy since we got here, asking about her and meaning to talk to her, only she keeps ignoring him. But I don’t know why or if he even ended up talking to her after all. Maybe they did, he hasn’t showed up in our dorm looking for her the last couple of weeks”

“He showed up at your room?!” The wood makes a painful sound under his hands “He’s dead” James holds him back before he can actually do it

“We can’t” he reminds him in a hush "not again" the reminder from last year is like a bucket of ice cold water

“Besides, if he hurt Ursa, he’s already a dead man walking. She has a twisted little mind.” Dorcas says proudly “No offense, but I’m sure she’ll do something worse to him than anything you two could even come up with. If she hasn’t already”

“You haven’t seen me mad”

“No, but I’ve seen your sister bored. Look, I’ll ask her and let you two know what she says. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beauty to woo. Mckinnon, ready to fall in love with me already?”

“Definitely not” she huffs

“How about a potion’s partner?” Slughorn gives Marlene her sentence, to be just that, so the class can begin. Dorcas sits down with a beam and Marlene glares at her notes “Aren’t I lucky? Even when you’re mad you’re pretty, a true sight. Wanna go out with me this Friday?”

“No”

“How about Saturday?”

“Would rather die”

“Sunday? I can bring you back to life” Dorcas bites her lip and Marlene can’t help the snort that comes out of her. She covers her mouth with her hands and shrinks down on her seat “Is that a yes?”

“It’s the worst line I’ve ever heard, that’s what it is”

“If they make you laugh I can do worse just to hear that sound” Marlene looks at her, taken aback for a minute before returning her eyes to the front and Dorcas smiles

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

The only thing that could distract Sirius from his vendetta is Remus. His tongue more precisely. “Is this what my life is gonna be from now on?” Peter wrinkles his nose at the two canoodling pairs, one in Remus’ bed and the other on James’. James and Regulus have their tongues down each others’ throats and Remus and Sirius— well they’re not down each others throats because he can see their tongues doing disgusting swirls around each other

“Don’t be homophobic” James says over his shoulder, daring to part his lips away from Regulus who tugs him back in by a fistful of his shirt

“I’m not homophobic!” he squeals

“A prude then” James says before Regulus bites where his neck meets his shoulder and he lets out an illicit sound

“It’s not that I have an issue with” he says and the others hum not really paying him an ounce of attention “Hey! I’m talking to you!” he hurls a pillow at each couple but that doesn’t inhibit them in the slightest

“What is it Pete?” James props himself up on an elbow to look at him and Regulus takes that as a sign to unbutton his shirt for better access as he kisses down his chest and James falls on his back with a hazy smile as he buries his hand in Regulus’ curls

“He’s lonely” Ursa says from the doorway, when did she get here? Maybe they should guard it better, put a specific detection spell for her, he doesn’t trust her in their room when they’re not there. He barely trusts her in it when they are around

“I’m not lonely” he huffs but he doesn’t even sound convincing to himself. That’s enough to break James out of his daze. He coxes Regulus away gently despite the younger’s protests

“I’m sorry Pete, we didn’t realize, why don’t we sneak into Hogsmeade tonight? Hey, Pads!”

“They’re using a silencing spell” Regulus grumbles very dangerously to pouting. James kicks Remus and he startles

“Wha— why did you stop?” Sirius groans “When did you all get here? What are you doing here?” 

“Looking for my brother”

“What do you need me for?”

“Oh please, you know I never mean you” she says with a roll of her eyes “possiamo parlare?” can we talk? Regulus nods but makes no attempt to move from James’ bed “In privato” In private 

“Fine” he gets up with a sigh

“Wait, is this about what happened at potions?” Sirius jolts up on the bed “because Dorcas—”

“No.” she cuts him off “Et même si c'était le cas, je ne te le dirais pas” And even if it were, I wouldn't tell you she strolls out

“Pourquoi doit-elle être si exaspérante tout le temps?!” Why does she have to be so infuriating all the time?!  Sirius snarls, strangling a pillow instead of her

“Say something else in french” Remus rasps and Sirius turns to him with a smug smirk

“mon petit loup, je vais te dévorer tout entier” my little wolf, I'm going to devour you whole

“Why don’t we let the love birds to their little honey moon Pete?” James puts his arm around his shoulder “We could do a prank on the girls, do you have the map with you?”

“James you don’t have to listen to Ursa, I’m not lonely”

“No, but I haven’t been paying you as much attention this year— paying anyone beyond Regulus enough attention really. It’s a blessing Pads’ been too distracted with Moony or he would’ve had my head by now. I don’t want to be the type of person that ignore his friends just because he has a very sexy boyfriend. Even if you don’t mind, I mind”

“Actually… There’s something that’s been on my mind, I’ve been meaning to ask…”

“You can ask me anything” James squeezes his shoulder with his signature warm, welcoming smile

“I was just wondering… you know… because, uh… different languages… you know… train the… uh, tongue… you know… different parts of it…”

“Oh yeah, those rolled Rs,” James hums “I know what you mean”

“Oh thank Godric, I was freaking out over how much I liked making out with Satan” he breathes out and James chuckles

“I’m not even gonna tell you how good that feels inside of you”

“that’s a little more information than I was going for” Peter says and James shrugs 

I know
I know
I just know
You're not gone, you can't be gone, no

“¿Ahora me podes decir que está pasando?” Now can you tell me what’s happening?  Regulus asks Ursa when they reach the astronomy tower

“Nothing’s happening. Solo quería saber como estaban tus compañeros de cuarto” I just wanted to know how your roomates are”

“And by that you mean Evan”

“Con questo intendo— Bene, certo che mi riferisco a lui. Suo padre ha detto qualcosa?” by that I mean— Fine, of course I mean him. Has his father said anything?

“No, nothing new— what did Sirius mean by the Dorcas thing at potions?”

“Se la sigue chamuyando a Marlene tan descaradamente que todos están segurisimos de que la está pelotudeando” she keeps flirting with Marlene so shamelessly they’re all certain that she’s messing with her

“Para vos tiene chances?” Do you think she has a chance? She doesn’t miss the way he dodges the question of how Evan is doing. She knows him well enough to know it’s purposeful

“Si Jaimito te pudo enamorar a vos, por que Dorcas no puede enamorar a Marlene?” If James could make you fall in love with him, why wouldn’t Dorcas be able to make Marlene fall for her?

“I gotta admit, este crush le está durando más de lo que esperaba,” this crush is lasting longer than I expected “más que la mayoría de sus crushes” more than most of her crushes “Although that might have to do with you constantly encouraging it”

“I wouldn’t say constantly. Only when I’m bored”

“You wouldn’t be bored so often if you 

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I'd see it break
Never thought I'd see it