Chapter 2
The Daily Prophet – Boy-Who-Lived caught performing underage magic
Last night, the Ministry was notified that one Harry Potter had used magic outside of school, and that in the company of muggles! At approximately eight PM yesterday evening, the Ministry recorded the use of underage magic in a muggle residence, performed by no other than our very own Boy-Who-Lived. Reportedly, he used a hover charm to levitate items for the entertainment of his muggle relatives.
Knowing him as we do, we suspect that in his charming wish to show them some of the wonders he learns at Hogwarts, the ban on underage magic slipped his mind for a moment. After all, friends describe him as a spontaneous soul, with a tendency to get swept up in his spur of the moment ideas.
We at The Daily Prophet commend his passion to share the joy of magic with the muggles he lives with but hope he will find a safer way to do so in the future.
Witch Weekly – Harry's humorous hover charm
Hero and fashion icon Harry Potter has gotten into a spot of legal trouble last night!
Yesterday evening, the Ministry noticed the presence of underage magic in a muggle area in Surrey, performed by none other than the Boy-Who-Lived himself. They recorded his use of a hover charm. It has been speculated that he was studying, or that he was merely trying to entertain the muggles he lives with.
Of course, considering his age, this might be the basis for a shift in his image to that of a roguish bad boy. Parents watch out, we all know the magnetic effect bad boys have on teens! We simply cannot wait for his next public appearance, to get an idea if the new behaviour comes with a change in style.
The Quibbler – Music, Muggles and Magic
Looking for new ritual music? Look no further than muggles. Where our collection of musical pieces grows by a dozen per year if we are lucky, theirs grows to the tune of several thousands. After close arithmantic analysis of the most popular muggle and wixen pieces, it further becomes clear that the muggles have mastered musical methods that channel ritual magic in a more controlled and precise way than any known wixen piece of music. The sheer amount of music to choose from may make it hard to find something fitting for your specific goals, so we at The Quibbler have compiled a list of composers for your convenience.
The more traditional reader may look towards Bach for rituals of power, while Mozart is a good choice for rituals requiring elegance and a delicate touch.
The third symphony of Ludwig van Beethoven especially is a great choice if you have been through hardship and wish to manifest joy and celebrate life.
If you are one of the many wixen who enjoy working with pieces that include singing, the band Queen has a broad spectrum of pieces for many occasions. It must be noted, however, that pieces with singing tend to be much shorter than normal ones, so be aware of that before starting your ritual.
For the particularly adventurous wix, we recommend German band BAP, who are noted to for their great music focusing on social and political topics. If your aspirations lay in changing society, BAP may be your band of choice.
The Daily Prophet – Gilderoy Lockhart new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor
It appears that author and adventurer Gilderoy Lockhart has found his newest challenge. At his book signing for his newest work, Magical Me, in Flourish and Blotts yesterday he announced he would join the Hogwarts staff as the new Defence Professor in the upcoming semester. In a sign of his usual philanthropy, he gifted a complete set of his works to Harry Potter, who was attending the book signing and seemed very pleased to meet his future Professor. They posed for photos together and Harry was seen listening with rapt attention to Mr. Lockhart’s words. No doubt he will be a brilliant teacher, capturing the minds of our students the same way he captured the hearts of his many readers.
Their pleasant conversation was disrupted by a scuffle as Mr. Artur Wesley physically and without provocation attacked Lord Lucius Malfoy. Harry was removed from the premises for his own safety. Mr. Lockhart bravely continued the signing, after the problem had been handled. We wish him the best of luck in his new position, and that he may bring some much-needed quality and refinement to the curriculum.
Witch Weekly – Gilderoy Lockhart now Professor at Hogwarts
You read that right, Ladies and Gentlemen, Gilderoy Lockhart, the adventuring author who frequently shows the Most Charming Smile, is going to put aside his career as creature fighter for now, and use his many talents to educate our youth, in hopes that they may eventually become somewhere near as capable as him. The announcement was made during his book signing at Flourish and Blotts yesterday, where he gifted a complete edition of all his works to Harry Potter, who is reported to be a big fan of Lockhart’s work. He had been attending in hopes of speaking to him and gladly posed with the author for several pictures. Lockhart revealed that Harry asked him for some assistance on public relations, and that he unfortunately had to cut their time short so as to not disappoint other attendees. He is “very much looking forward to teaching the young boy, he had a bright mind and clearly a lot of unpolished talent”.
After a physical attack on Lord Lucius Malfoy, Harry was escorted to safety, while Mr. Lockhart continued the signing.
Mr. Lockhart, dashing as always, was sporting a lavender robe with ivory details and ivory trousers, which provided a brilliant contrast to his gold blond hair.
Harry wore his Hogwarts robes on top of an olive-green jumper with brown trousers. This is a curious choice, not only because it is a clear departure from his previous style of oversized clothing, but because it comes so quickly after his warning from the Ministry due to his use of magic outside Hogwarts. Is he trying to remind us of his young age, an appeal for us to forgive his mistake? Is he trying to curtail rumours about him becoming a bad boy? Or was his choice of clothes ironic, to show us that not even school can calm his youthful roguish spirit? As he was not available for comment, we are left to speculate. One thing is sure however, Harry Potter remains a trendsetter, and is clearly looking to develop his style. We are excited to see what journey he will be taking us on.
The Quibbler – Gilderoy Lockhart to teach at Hogwarts
Gilderoy Lockhart, prolific smiler and author of adventure books, is set to be the new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
The Quibbler wants to take this opportunity to talk to a citizen of Bandon who witnessed Mr Lockhart's presence in the town plagued by a horrific Banshee.
"We'd been living in fear of her for months. We had to wear ear protection at all times and had started to communicate in sign language. Mother had been working on brewing the laughing potion for us all, but ingredients were scarce, and the brewing takes time.
The day when it was completed, most of the adults went out to the field where she was to laugh at her until she left. I had gotten sick with dragon pox and was kept in isolation.
They returned with Mister Lockhart, who had convinced them somehow that he, and he alone had saved them. Mother forgot she'd even brewed the potion, and when I showed her the cauldron, she claimed Lockhart had been staying with us the entire time, brewing. All the kids started to believe that, too, and I don't know why.”
If all that didn’t convince you, keep in mind that when asked whether he was prepared to go up against the threat of the Aquavirius Maggots kept in the Ministry, Lockhart did not reply, even when Quibbler reporters asked him in person.
Readers with children at Hogwarts are advised to try and cover the year's Defence curriculum at home.
The Daily Prophet – Boy-Who-Lived feels too good for Hogwarts Express
Harry Potter seems determined to push limits this year. Just weeks after his unauthorised use of magic (in front of muggles, no less), he decided to forgo the mode of transportation all of us have used for over a hundred years, the Hogwarts Express. Instead, he and fellow Gryffindor second year, Rodney Wesley, used a flying car for the trip, and were seen by several dozen muggles. Potter was heard protesting that he had been unable to access the platform, but no evidence of such a situation was found. While the car (property of Arnold Wesley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office) doesn’t break any laws regarding misuse of muggle items, the boys blatantly violated the Statute of Secrecy and several Obliviators had to spend hours carefully erasing all evidence of their stunt.
It appears that the Boy-Who-Lived has been allowed to follow his whims without consequence for too long. Sources report that he faces no punishment outside of several detentions. We at The Daily Prophet urge Mr. Potter to be more conscientious about the use of his fame and hope he will find a mentor in the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, who is famous for his philanthropy and humility outside of his impressive accomplishments.
Witch Weekly – Harry Potter uses flying car to go to school
Readers who were out for a stroll in the Scottish countryside yesterday may have been surprised at the sight of a car flying overhead. What you would not have known is that it was flown by no other than our very own Boy-Who-Lived, twelve-year-old Harry Potter, cementing his image as Wizarding Britain’s most favourite bad boy. Reportedly, he had been unable to make his way onto the platform to board the Hogwarts Express. It is unknown who or what tampered with the barrier to the platform, and for what reasons. As no proof of tampering has been found so far, it clearly had to have been an exceptionally powerful individual.
To our relief, both he and the friend he took along are safe. They arrived at the school nearly on time, and in an undeniably awe-inspiring fashion.
Unfortunately, Harry’s rash actions resulted in several muggles observing the flying car. As muggle cars are unable to fly, Obliviators had to be dispatched to modify their memories. Harry undoubtedly did the best he could think of in the moment, clearly concluding that if one method of transportation was tampered with, others might be as well, and remaining on-site might be dangerous in and of itself. We applaud his ingenuity and worry that he had no escort to protect him. Gilderoy Lockhart, new Professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts, has gone on record saying he would offer his services for such instances in the future. We are all relieved that, with him at the school, Harry Potter has another set of eyes looking out for his safety.
The Quibbler – Assault on Whomping Willow at Hogwarts - Dumbledore remains passive
We who went to Hogwarts less than twenty years ago all keep a special place in our hearts for the lovely Whomping Willow planted on the castle grounds. It is always a pleasure to see rare plants in popular spaces, shining the light on their existence so that they may thrive in the future.
This makes it all the more upsetting that last night, two students crashed an enchanted vehicle into the tree, causing extensive damage. It is unknown if they did so with malintent, though the fact that such hatred is even a possibility is very upsetting on its own. The staff remains largely unconcerned with her wellbeing.
While Potions Professor Severus Snape has been overheard voicing his displeasure at the damage, and Professor Sprout has been seen working to heal the damage, no punishment was meted out to the students for harming the Whomping Willow. Headmaster Dumbledore did not reply to our inquiries about his negligence but has been observed ignoring Professor Snape's and Sprout's complaints. This shows the concerning disregard for the lovely magical flora and fauna that continues to plague this nation.
If you too are outraged, consider writing to the Headmaster or the Ministry to have your voice heard. A fund has been established to protect the Whomping Willow from further attacks.
Donate just ten sickles and get a custom-made Fund for Living Organisms' Wellbeing and Earthly Rights (FLOWER) badge.
The Quibbler – Reckless Lockhart exploits creatures, endangers Hogwarts students
Gilderoy Lockhart, lilac lover and inventor of failed shampoo line has been Hogwarts' DADA professor for less than a week and is already causing discontent among those of us who care about the health of our fellow beings, nonhuman, and human alike.
He was observed keeping a herd of Cornish Pixies in unconscionable conditions to set them on his students so they may practice spells on the irritated beasts. Regular readers of The Quibbler will be aware that this species, native to The Lizard, needs a steady supply of Cornish heath as well as coastal water to ensure proper nutrition. It is widely considered immoral to relocate Pixies for this very reason. Additionally, despite their very active nature, Lockhart appears to have kept the captures Pixies in a tiny cage.
When they, after finally being set free, caused disorder in the classroom to make it more similar to their natural habitat, they were attacked by students on orders of Lockhart, who abandoned the classroom shortly thereafter.
If you, too, object to our youth being taught to attack innocent beasts, The Quibbler encourages you to write to Hogwarts in protest.
The Daily Prophet –Anniversary of the end of the war nearing
Tomorrow, we will celebrate two things, as we have for eleven years now. Not only do we indulge in a feast, but we will be celebrating our ability to do so in the first place - and remembering the one who we might have to thank for it– the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. It has been eleven years since he saved us all by vanquishing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and put an end to the war that ravished Wizarding Britain. So, as we celebrate Halloween, and remember the lives lost in the war, let us join in thanks to our saviour and send our love his way on his special day.
Witch Weekly – Halloween draws near
As Halloween approaches, we must once again thank our hero, twelve-year-old Harry Potter, for defeating You-Know-Who as a baby and saving us all from the terror he and the Death Eaters caused during the war. All our focused love and admiration will be with him tomorrow, as he celebrates his second Halloween at Hogwarts. Do not be discouraged if he does not find the time to reply to your messages, as it has been reported that, in order to be able to keep up with his schoolwork, he is not able to respond to many people, if any at all. Knowing how just and kind he is, he may forgo replying to your missives, to prevent unfair treatment. We at Witch Weekly will still be sending our letters of thanks to him, to make sure he always knows how important he is to us, and we encourage you to do the same.
As the nature of his owl wards is unknown, it may however be wise to refrain from sending any items directly to him. Any non-perishable objects may be sent directly to Gringotts, so the Goblins may place your gifts in his vaults and provide him with a list. Since this will also save him some time otherwise spent sifting through his massive amounts of gifts, this is undoubtedly the most considerate action.
The Quibbler – Tribute to Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington
Fellow Hogwarts alumni will remember the good natured and well-spirited ghost of Sir Nicholas, knight under Henry VII, and Gryffindor house ghost.
Sir Nicholas is celebrating his 500th death day this Halloween and The Quibbler asked you, the Readers, for some of your best anecdotes or well-wishes so we can honour Sir Nicholas on this special day.
"Once in my first year, Sir Nicholas got in a terrible shouting match with Peeves for me because he wouldn't leave me alone and kept singing rude songs.
Sir Nicholas managed to drive him away and helped me find my way back to my dorm" reports Mafalda Hopkirk.
"[Sir Nicholas] helped us hide from teacher’s multiple times when we were out after curfew or somewhere we shouldn't be. He's a really good sport" bring us two anonymous Gryffindors.
"He is a very kind and helpful ghost and assists especially the younger students to find their way around Hogwarts. Gryffindor couldn't ask for a better House Ghost" was Professor McGonagall's reply to a special correspondent for The Quibbler.
Our special correspondent additionally interviewed some of the Hogwarts ghosts for their opinion on Sir Nicholas.
Harold II called Sir Nicholas a "good and proper knight", while Edgar Cloggs remarked he would "love to play a spot of Quidditch with [Sir] Nicholas sometime. I'm sure he'd be great at it."
Myrtle Warren opined that Sir Nicholas was "the nicest ghost in the castle, the only one who is never mean to me".
The Hufflepuff house ghost, nicknamed "Fat Friar", considers Sir Nicholas "a jolly good fellow". The other two House ghosts did not wish to be quoted, but expressed fondness for him.
The Quibbler and its readers wish Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington a pleasant and exciting death day!
The Daily Prophet – Chamber Chaos at Hogwarts’ Halloween Feast
The festive mood at Hogwarts after last night’s Halloween celebrations was interrupted quite decisively by an ominous message written on the wall. It proclaimed "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware". Next to it hang a seemingly dead cat, who was later diagnosed as being merely petrified. The cause of petrification is as of yet unknown.
Harry Potter, who had been found at the scene of the crime, claims ignorance regarding what happened. It appears that, at the moment, no disciplinary measures are being taken.
Students are concerned, but the staff insists that there is no reason for fear, as the matter is being investigated. Professor Sprout is already growing Mandrake’s to be used in the potion required to free creatures from petrification. Professor Lockhart has been quoted as saying that he would “make personally sure the students are perfectly safe”.
Witch Weekly – Hogwarts’ Halloween Horror
Students of Hogwarts were treated to a less than festive fright last night, as after the end of the Halloween Feast, a cat was found hanging on the wall, petrified. Beside it was written a message speaking of the fabled “Chamber of Secrets”, threatening the enemies of an unspecified “heir”.
Reportedly, Harry Potter only barely escaped the clutches of the monster. Luckily, Defence Professor Gilderoy Lockhart already confirmed that he is on the case, so parents may rest easy knowing their children are kept safe.
The Quibbler – The Chamber of Secrets open again?
Older readers may recall a time, fifty years ago, when Hogwarts was being terrorised by a petrifying monster, which claimed the life of Myrtle Warren (a student whose ghost still resides in Hogwarts) as its last victim. At the time, Rubeus Hagrid, then a third-year student, was determined to be guilty of the attacks, as he was in possession of a dangerous beast, specifically an acromantula. He was expelled, and his wand was snapped. Discerning readers will note that acromantulae are not capable of petrifying individuals and leave visible marks on their prey. Perhaps it is thus not altogether shocking, if still deeply unsettling, that it appears the chamber has been opened again. Last night, after the Hogwarts Halloween feast ended, a message written on the wall claimed exactly that.
Next to it hung a seemingly dead cat by the name of Mrs. Norris, belonging to the caretaker and suspected poltergeist Argus Filch. The cat was reported to be alive but petrified. Of course, the fact that Mrs. Norris is not truly a cat, but rather a spy device used by Mr. Filch to keep an eye on unruly students, may have an effect on her current state of being. It is still entirely possible that the magic keeping her illusion working simply malfunctioned or was sabotaged, and that the report of the chamber opening is entirely false.
In any case, The Quibbler wishes to use this occasion to call for justice for Rubeus Hagrid, as the circumstances make it at the very least highly unlikely that he was responsible for the chamber incident in 1943.
The Daily Prophet – Disastrous Quidditch game leaves Harry Potter in the Hospital Wing
Yesterday, the long-awaited Hogwarts Quidditch game between Gryffindor and Slytherin finally took place. Slytherin impressed with their brooms – each player riding a Nimbus 2001, courtesy of Lord Lucius Malfoy, whose son Draco is Slytherin’s new seeker. Unfortunately, young Draco didn’t get the opportunity to show his skills, as Harry Potter, the Gryffindor seeker, was clearly unwilling to share the attention. A few minutes into the game, he began acting as though one of the Bludger’s was chasing him, making sure everyone focused on him. Eventually, this stunt seemed to backfire, as he fell off his broom and gained a fracture so dangerous, the bones in his arms had to be vanished on the spot.
Potter was reportedly exceedingly rude, rebuffing fellow Gryffindor Colin Creevey, who was trying to comfort him. Potter’s frequent disrespect towards the first-year didn’t deter the kind boy, who told his friends he would visit the Boy-Who-Lived in the Hospital Wing with snacks. The next time he was seen, he had been petrified in the same fashion as the caretaker’s cat on Halloween, where Harry Potter was found on the scene.
No disciplinary actions are being taken, and Dumbledore does not appear to doubt the obvious suspects’ claims of innocence.
Witch Weekly – Attack in the Air - Boy-Who-Lived nearly killed by rogue Bludger
Harry Potter cannot catch a break on the Quidditch Pitch!
All of us remember his first game, where his broom had been bewitched by an unknown individual, who was later presumed to be then-Defence Professor Quirinius Quirrell. With Quirrell’s defeat at Harry Potter’s hands, we all expected him to have a nice, fun game this time.
Instead, as soon as the whistle blew, he began being chased by a rogue Bludger. He showed his talent and trademark selflessness as he began leading the Bludger away from his teammates and into the scaffolding underneath the stands. He made his way through the structure unscathed and even managed to catch the snitch after eventually being hit by the Bludger, showing once again his swashbuckling nature and high level of skill. Unfortunately, the hit caused a dangerous fracture in his arm.
For the boy’s immediate safety, Defence Professor Gilderoy Lockhart vanished his bones, later telling Witch Weekly that, quote “I have seen injuries like that before in the field. Had I not acted, our dear Boy-Who-Lived would have started bleeding internally, and things become much more dangerous once that happens”.
Harry was sent to the Hospital Wing to regrow his bones, his reputation as a daring bad boy thoroughly cemented, and has not yet been able to thank him. We are sure however, that Professor Lockhart would be more than happy to hear from our readers how glad we are that he saved our saviour.
The Quibbler – Hogwarts’ Whomping Willow Healing
The team of The Quibbler wishes to thank its loyal readers, whose donations to the Fund for Living Organisms' Wellbeing and Earthly Rights (FLOWER) have allowed us to organise a Wardmaster who will cast further wards to protect the Whomping Willow from any other attacks by unthinking students or individuals with ill-intent.
Despite the Headmasters’ lack of interest, the Whomping Willow is healing well from the harm inflicted on her at the beginning of the year. This progress is largely thanks to the hard work of Herbology Professor and Head of Hufflepuff House, Pomona Sprout.
The Quibbler extends its gratitude to the only member of staff genuinely concerned for the trees’ wellbeing.
The Daily Prophet – Boy-Who-Lived Dark Lord in the making?
We have almost gotten used to Harry Potter acting increasingly rude and insolent, but the events that transpired yesterday in the Hogwarts Duelling Club put a whole different light on the nature of our so-called Saviour. During his duel with Heir Draco Malfoy, Potter broke the rules of the duel by using out-of-bounds spells. After a snake had been summoned, Potter began talking to it – in Parseltongue. The snake began moving towards a Muggleborn student with clear hostile intent, and it was only the teachers’ quick intervention that prevented it from attacking the young Hufflepuff. The Boy-Who-Lived appeared surprised at the horror in his classmates’ eyes at his attempt to harm a fellow student and fled the room.
The fact that our supposed Saviour not only possesses but actively uses such a dark gift casts the events on Halloween 1981 in a new light. It has been widely believed that You-Know-Who had attacked the Potter family because the late James Fleamont Potter and Lily Juniper Potter (née Evans) had been actively fighting against him. Knowing the dark nature of Harry Potter poses the question if he had been the target all along, simply because You-Know-Who couldn’t accept a threat to his reign.
It seems all but confirmed that the boy is, indeed, the Heir of Slytherin, and working to fulfil Salazar Slytherin’s goal of ridding Hogwarts of Muggleborns – keep in mind that the petrification targets have been the cat of the Squib caretaker and a Muggleborn student.
We at The Daily Prophet urge everyone to tread carefully around Harry Potter, who has a history of attacking individuals and reportedly has a very short temper.
Witch Weekly – Harry Potter, Snake Speaker
It will be hard to believe for readers, but our beloved Saviour Harry Potter is, indeed, a Parselmouth. He revealed the talent yesterday during the Duelling Club, where he spoke to a snake that had been summoned. The snake appeared to be intending to attack another student before it was vanished by Professor Lockhart, who was presiding over the Club. Harry himself has been heard claiming that he told the snake to not attack the student.
We are unsure what he told the snake, but the most likely answer appears to be that he wanted to give the boy a bit of a scare for fun. Harry is no stranger to dangerous entertainment after all and may be somewhat desensitised to the effects situations such as the one yesterday can have on others.
We hope Harry will be more careful with his skills in the future.
The Quibbler – In Defence of Parseltongue
Magical Britain is in a frenzy over the reveal that Harry Potter is a Parselmouth. The Quibbler would like to remind its readers that Parseltongue is a noble skill, and in no way inherently dark.
Wixen in India are notorious for a relatively high percentage of Parselmouths, individuals which are cherished greatly in the community, being as they are a necessary bridge to the ubiquitous snakes in the country. Parselmouths were historically known to be prolific healers and showed no higher inclination to utilize dark magic than the general populous.
The Quibbler wishes to reaffirm its status as explicitly against the persecution of Parselmouths and snake mages.
The Daily Prophet – Heir of Slytherin’s Reign of Terror - When will Dumbledore do something?
The Heir of Slytherin shows no signs of stopping his attack on Hogwarts, and there are seemingly no serious steps being taken to protect our youth. Last night, a Muggleborn student and Gryffindor House ghost Nearly Headless Nick joined the number of petrified individuals.
The school is in an uproar at the thought of something that could petrify even the dead.
And yet, Headmaster Dumbledore does not appear to take the situation seriously. Despite the fact that the petrified boy is the very same that Harry Potter threatened with a snake during the Duelling Club, Potter is not even being questioned.
The obvious favouritism of a clearly dangerous student makes us at The Daily Prophet worry for the safety of our children. We demand a full investigation into Mr. Potter and his use of Parseltongue.
Witch Weekly – Petrifications continue at Hogwarts
After several weeks of quiet, some of us may have foolishly believed that the so-called Heir of Slytherin had lain down his mantle and left the students in peace. Unfortunately, it appears that we are not that lucky. Last night, a second student, as well as Gryffindor House Ghost Sir Nicholas (commonly known as Nearly Headless Nick), were petrified as well.
With no hint to the identity of the culprit, the public is growing restless. Defence Professor Gilderoy Lockhart told Witch Weekly “We are working hard on finding the heir, but I can’t tell you any details – we wouldn’t want him to slip through our fingers”. He has promised to “redouble my efforts to convince the Headmaster to take the children’s safety more serious”.
It appears that the student body largely believes the recently revealed Parselmouth Harry Potter to be responsible for the attacks, despite lack of any concrete proof.
We at Witch Weekly urge to be careful with accusations towards the celebrity, as he has a record of trying his best to protect others, albeit using unpolished methods.
The Quibbler – Animals that petrify
As the string of petrifications related to the supposed opening of the Chamber of Secrets continues, The Quibbler has one burning question above all others:
If the beast in the chamber is indeed responsible for the petrifications, who was the real culprit during the chamber's last opening fifty years ago?
Readers may be aware that a student had been expelled at the time and that his juvenile acromantula was believed to be responsible for the death of the student. But no magizoologist has ever found any indication that acromantulae are capable of petrifications. Is it now being suggested that the chamber houses more than one beast?
And why was an acromantula accepted as the creature of the chamber in the first place? Salazar Slytherin had no connection to spiders, and no species of spider lives longer than a century (the sole exception being The Jingling Giant, which is found only in the mountains of Bhutan, and which is not yet recognized as a species by Wizarding Britain). In contrast, there are several snake species’ that are known to cause petrifactions (gorgons, basilisks, spicons, to name but the ones that are found on the British Isles).
The Quibbler's inquiries with the Ministry on its intended proceeding in the case remained unanswered.
The Daily Prophet – Suspected Heir of Slytherin arrested! Dumbledore sacked! Boy-Who-Lived innocent?
Yesterday was eventful for the residents of Hogwarts. Another attack of petrifications claimed Ravenclaw Penelope Clearwater and a Gryffindor Muggleborn girl, the latter reportedly a personal friend of Harry Potter. The Minister of Magic personally visited Hogwarts, accompanied by Lord Lucius Malfoy, to finally make an arrest. The apprehended suspect is the Hogwarts groundskeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, whose creature had been determined to have killed a student when the chamber was last open.
In the light of Dumbledore’s passivity, the Headmaster was sacked from the position following a vote from the Board of Governors.
The fact that one of the last victims of petrifications is a close friend to Harry Potter makes it unlikely that he has anything to do with the attacks, as many people believe, despite his ability to speak Parseltongue.
Witch Weekly – More petrifications at Hogwarts, Suspect arrested, Dumbledore fired
Hogwarts students should be able to sleep soundly now. After two more petrifications yesterday afternoon, an arrest was made. The presumed attacker is the same man who was found guilty of the death of a student fifty years ago, when the Chamber was opened for the first time in living memory, Rubeus Hagrid.
Due to his inability to protect his students, and his sheltering of the suspect, Headmaster Dumbledore was removed from his post effective immediately.
Harry Potter, who had been in low spirits for months following the unjust attacks on his character, is more dejected than ever – one of the students attacked yesterday, Miss Hermione Granger, is a personal friend of his. He has been seen near tears on multiple occasions and was not available for comment. He spends his free time in the Hospital Wing, at the side of his close friend.
We hope that, at least, this event will put a rest to the claims about him being responsible for the attacks on the student body.
The Quibbler – Justice for Hogwarts Groundskeeper!
After the latest petrification attack on Hogwarts, an arrest was made. This may sound like a good thing at first, were it not for the fact that the arrested individual is none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who had been the scapegoat for the true Heir fifty years ago already. Back then, his pet acromantula was identified as being the source of the attacks, despite acromantulae being incapable of petrification. The only petrifying animals that are found in Great Britain are all part of the Snake family, and as Harry Potter was not alive for the first opening of the Chamber of Secrets, there are two possibilities: Either there is an unknown Parselmouth who was residing in or around Hogwarts at the time, or You-Know-Who has found a way to open the Chamber after his supposed death.
In any case, neither of the two only real suspects can be the true heir, and the public should therefore cease their attacks on them.
The Daily Prophet – Harry Potter triumphs over Monster in Slytherin’s Chamber
Things were looking dire at Hogwarts last night. Ginny Weasley, youngest daughter of Molly Weasley (née Prewett) and Arthur Weasley, had been captured by the heir of Slytherin and held in the Chamber. Hogwarts was set to be closed, until the heroic interference by our beloved saviour, Harry Potter. He entered the Chamber with Gilderoy Lockhart at his side and slew the monster within.
Details are being withheld to a large extent, but it is said the monster was a basilisk, which Harry defeated with the long-lost Sword of Gryffindor.
Harry was bitten by the basilisk but saved in time by Dumbledore’s famous phoenix. Miss Weasley is reportedly safe and uninjured.
Unfortunately, it appears that in the fight, Mr. Lockhart lost his memory due to a malfunctioned spell gone awry. He was sent to St. Mungo’s for treatment.
Witch Weekly – Boy-Who-Lived saves Damsel-In-Distress
Harry Potter proves once again that the Hat chose well when it put him in the House of the Brave and Chivalrous. When Ginny Weasley, the little sister of his best friend, was kidnapped last night, he wasted no time in going after her, his only back-up his best friend and Professor Lockhart.
After some unspecified accident inside the chamber, Professor Lockhart lost his memory and Harry was separated from the group, advancing on his own. He defeated the monster inside the chamber – a millennium old basilisk – by use of Godric Gryffindor’s fabled sword. It nearly cost him his life; had he not been saved by a phoenix at the last moment.
The group made their way out of the chamber, injured but alive. After healing up, Harry once again took his place next to his petrified friend. We at Witch Weekly smell a budding romance and wish him the best in this journey. Hopefully in this matter at least, he will have some better luck.
The Quibbler – What happened in the Chamber of Secrets?
After a strenuous battle, the monster inside the Chamber of Secrets was slain yesterday. Despite numerous inquiries from The Quibbler towards both Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic, no further information was given. There are rumours of the monster having been a basilisk, as The Quibbler has suspected for months, but no official confirmation was given.
Despite the fact that the only two suspects have been ruled out, there is no verified information on who actually opened the Chamber of Secrets.
A special correspondent for The Quibbler managed to get close to the involved individuals and learned that the true culprit was named Tom Riddle.
While no such person appears to currently reside in Wixen Britain, the arithmantic analysis confirms the statement. The most likely explanation is that the person does not entirely identify with the name.
The Quibbler demands answers from both Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic, as well as a public apology and a replacement wand for Rubeus Hagrid, who has been falsely accused of opening the Chamber of Secrets twice now.