Monster Magic for Idiots
“Monster Magic for Idiots,” a book spine read. It was in the middle of the School Library with no plastic cover to envelop in the back cover for Checking it out like a normal book. Instead it looked like one you’d find in the middle of a Bookshop… except it had some damage on it and what suspiciously looked like damage from a kitchen cleaver.
A young child with hair the color of fresh cherries took the book from the shelf and examined it curiously. Her azure eyes skimmed the cover.
“Monster Magic For Idiots, By Nightmare,” was written in white upon the black cover, the cover seemed to be stained that color since some parts were more a dark brown and she saw a peak of light brown in one corner. The pages were white but had many black stains upon them and it looked like the author had to write over the stains a couple times with different colored pens to make the book more legible. There were cuts taped over and various bits of damage that were patched over. Even what looks like a couple pages that were bitten into by someone.
The first page read, “Since you bone heads seem to be having trouble mastering your magic, I have written this how to so you can hopefully learn some fucking sense and use your magic properly. May the Stars have mercy on my Soul for even attempting to teach you all.”
There were several more books in the library she found like this and the child quietly collected them all while the Librarian wasn’t looking. Best not test her temper after she just yelled Dudley out of the Library. ”How to Crush a Soul, By Dust,” “Best wats to Survive without Resources, by Horror,” “Killer’s guide to surviving idiots, an Autobiography,” “How to Make Friends of Enemies, by Cross,” “Lusts guide to Making Friends,” and “Biding Time, by Error.” The last one looked like a sewing and knitting guide oddly enough. It had the black stains that the first book had, so maybe this Nightmare read it?
She hid them all in her backpack, leaving all the books she checked out yesterday in the turn in bin before running off to her secret hideout. It was a little shack she put together with her own two hands under a bridge a 5 minute run from school. It had all of her precious possessions, from a couple plushies she found in the attic to a blanket with her name stitched onto the edge… Nightshade, stitched with black thread in an elegant cursive onto a soft lavender blanket. Years had stained it and made the colors fade. Yet to this day it was one of her most precious possessions.
She sat down on a couch one of the neighbors threw out and she tended to sleep on when her relatives locked her out. The roof was just barely sturdy enough to keep the rain out and the mattresses on the walls helped insulate the warmth of the tiny shack. Soon she pulled out the books and looked them over… “I wonder what the authors of these are like?” She mused before picking up the book by error and looking through it. Maybe she could make Dudley’s cast offs fit better with the advice in this book?~
Weeks passed before she took the books besides Lust, Error and Horror’s seriously. Lust’s helped her make friends with a couple of her less popular classmates, to the point where she actually got to chat with them when the Bully Gang weren’t looking. Then you had Horror’s that helped her forage for food, and with a little bit of the self help advice in Dust’s book she got the courage up to hunting rabbits and other small game to eat. Then you had Error’s book that helped her sew clothes and tarps for her shack.
The book on magic was the one she was stewing over today though… “Will I really be able to use magic using this thing?” She asked herself as she looked at the book rather seriously.
Earlier that very day she had an… incident…
One of her teachers had been yelling at her for lying about swapping her Homework with her Cousin’s since she got all the answers right… and then suddenly the woman was hanging upside down from a power chord that was wrapped around the fan and her teacher’s ankle. Just like how rabbits looked in her traps!
How could this happen?! But maybe… Magic was the answer?
She opened the book…
And off in another dimension three deities were chatting when the youngest of the three smirked suddenly, “yoooou Looooost~” she sang to her sister.
“What do you mean by that Luck?” The deity replied, sounding rather sick and tired of dealing with luck.
“It means those books really did change the fate of that child you forced into a prophecy of course~” Luck sang, “so you looooose Fate~”
“HOW DARE YOU!” Fate snapped at Luck angrily.
“Now sisters, you really shouldn’t fight like this,” the third deity said placatingly.
“STAY OUT OF THIS DESTINY!” Fate snapped, “NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY can avoid my Prophecies! Not your little Chosen, not my little playthings, and Certainly not this Snot Nosed Little Brat!” She hissed, going off to see what she could do to get her newest plaything back into line.
“Ever since Error got picked up by your little pet she’s been growing a bit unhinged,” Destiny sighed.
“What do you expect? She’s been the reigning champion since Death stepped down after meeting those three brothers?” Lady Luck asked.
“Truuuuue,” Destiny sighed, “I’m wondering how long it’ll be before we can get her under house arrest…”
“Soon my sister~ soon~” Luck purred with a grin that said she had a plan on her face.
“Okay so if I apply my magic like this… I’ll have octopus hair?” An eight year old Nightshade Potter mumbled as she tried out manipulating her magic in a new way. It’s been a good two years since she started using magic and she had been spending those years well. Every day she tries something new just to liven her day up before heading off to school. It’s been almost a year since she came to an agreement with her relatives to stay out of their house, but they still pay for her Schooling so they still seem normal. It was an annoying negotiation with them, but after sharing a room with a glowing Red-Violet cleaver…
Today she was trying tentacles, since it was one of the many examples in the book. The page was heavily stained and written over so it took a good while before she could make heads or tails of what the page said.
Like usual, her hair began to float as she built up magic slowly, letting it hang in the air before directing it to her hair and focusing on the shape she was going for. It took two, three, four and five tries before she even got one tentacle, but progress was progress!~
“Use what you have,” the book always said, “that way your mind can focus and you’ll use less magic as you try something new.” Words to live by.
A week passed before she had the definite shape down, in the form of covering her hair in black magic on the top with her Red-Violet underneath. A nice balance that kept it from floating too much but still have the distinct 10 tentacles she was going for. She even put ear fins on to look more like a squid~ (Namielle Cowl from Monster Hunter World. Primarily Alpha with Beta used in public). The book recommended finding some form of magic you felt comfortable with and maintaining it for long periods of time to strengthen your magic over time… so that’s what she intended to do with her tentacle hair trick~
Lust was going out into an AU for coffee and groceries when he sensed something weird. It was a normal AU like any other, currently in a constant loop of resetting. With a little charm bracelet it was easy to make people not notice he was a Monster and come by to trade in Gold for Human Currency and do some grocery shopping. Gold was worth a ridiculous amount in this world, so it must be rare for the humans to find? Oh well. Not too much to worry about when he had hungry mouths to feed at home~
He was looking around for a Butcher Shop in this tiny town when he saw a young girl running to and fro delivering packages between several different stores. That wouldn’t normally concern him considering all the unusual AUs he popped into constantly, but this girl… she radiated Dark Magic. It flowed off her much the same way Nightmare’s did. He watched her curiously, but she seemed happy and chipper as she ran about.
Was she a Mage maybe?
But this AU didn’t seem to have Mages from what he saw. Probably extinct like usual…
Hmmm…
that’s when something else about her caught his eye. Her hair was floating?
No… not floating…
It was being controlled by the little girl?~
This was interesting~
When he saw her hiding in an alley counting the money she earned by doing odd jobs he approached…
“Fine day today, isn’t it?~” he asked with his usual sing song voice.
Her head hearted up instantly, eyes wide in surprise, “are you talking to me?” She asked softly.
His brow furrowed and he looked around. “Nobody else around for me to be talking to?” He commented offhandedly.
She grinned excitedly, but still guarded as if expecting an attack of some kind. “Ah!~ that’s good! Not many people starttalking to me, it’s rather tiring,” she hummed, rocking on her heels. Trying to stay moving and keeping an eye out for possible escape routes.
“Well I am, so what’s a girl like you doing odd jobs? You look a tad young to be doing that kind of thing,” he asked, knowing all too well what children can get up to at an age like that.
“I’m earning money of course,” she hummed, “what’s a guy like you doing talking to a girl like me?”
“Well I couldn’t help but notice that thing you were doing with your hair,” Lust replied, expecting shock or fear. Not the girl bolting like the Child was hot on her heels with a real knife.
She was swift, he had to give her that, especially with how she applied magic to her legs to run faster. He only barely kept an eye on her path as he teleported after her. She ran through a populated street, hoping to loose him, but when she broke out of the crowd it was shockingly easy to follow her as she ran straight for a bridge near one of the town’s schools. Under the bridge he saw a depressing shack that looked like it was built from trash. Was she living here or hiding here?
Inside the little girl was hiding under the couch, slowing her breathing and not making a sound. It would have worked on most people, since the couch looked like it had a solid bottom. Yet to someone experienced at sensing people by their magic, Lust could tell where she was.
“I know you’re in here,” he started, then bonked his head, “damn it, that sounded too aggressive… stupid Dust and his stupid games of hide and seek…”
That got a reaction out of the child.
“Wait… have you heard that name before?” Lust asked, noticing the jolt at the name dust.
He looked around and spotted a couple distinct books. “You dooo know it. And you must know my name is Lust then,” he hummed, grin growing larger when he noticed her jolting again. “So how about you come out and we can talk? Monster to monster?” He asked.
She slowly crept out and looked at him cautiously, “Monster to monster?” She asked tentatively.
“Well you are a monster, aren’t you?” He asked.
The little girl shook her head, “I’m a Human…”
His brow raised considerably, “then how can you move your hair like that?” He asked.
She looked over to the books and pointed at the book written by Nightmare.
Lust picked it up and skimmed through it quickly. From all of this he still couldn’t believe what the girl was saying. This was a book on Monster Magic… Magic based on Emotions and Intent! Not the simple magic based on Knowledge and Focus of Human magic!
But then the child stood before him… small and frail with vibrant cyan eyes and long inky black hair. Said hair was rolled up and formed into a kind of hood that she was hiding as much as she could with.
“So what you’re saying is you’re a human that used this book to learn magic?” He asked.
The girl nodded shyly.
He sighed… she looked like a kicked puppy like this.. Maybe…
“Will you guide me through town for some money?” He offered.
She perked up, “just lead you through town? For money?” She asked hopefully.
It seems giving her a task at least distracts her from her fear? He nodded in response, “I’ll pay you to help me get groceries for my housemates~” he hummed, smiling softly at her.
“I can do that~ would you prefer the Supermarket or the Market strip?” She offered.
Lust valiantly held back the pun on the tip of his tongue and asked, “how about strip?”
Through the shopping trip, Lust kept a careful eye on the child, watching for how she interacts with people and any use of magic she had.
The distrustful looks from the common people were rather disconcerting, especially since they were all focused on the child. The merchants were wary of her, but still tried to be cordial. The child even pulled him into an alley when she spotted something. She wouldn’t say what it was and he couldn’t get a good look at it to find out… then there was the unusual occurrence where they encountered an old lady with a cat wrapped around her neck and two at her feet. She stopped the little girl and they had a long conversation about how life at the “Dursley’s” was like and how she was doing in school. The little girl pretended to be friendly and like she was living with these Dursley’s, and got a strained smile when School came up. “Terrible like always. You know how horrible I am at school. It’ll be a miracle if I even pass elementary,” the girl said, but she looked like she wanted to say so much different. It was rather odd.
When they finally pulled away the girl offered Lust a candy from the bag the old lady handed her, but one sniff and Lust tossed it. “I wouldn’t recommend accepting candies from that lady. It was laced with some form of bitter potion,” List huffed, dusting off his hands.
The girl sighed, “well that explains a lot…”
“A lot?” Lust asked.
“Somehow i always end up moving back in with the Dursley’s not long after visiting miss Figgs,” she explained.
“Do you not like them?” Lust asked.
Nightshade groaned, “weeeeellllll… they’re family… I know I’m supposed to care about them even a little… to try to gain their approval or whatever?” She began, looking up at the sky, eyes scanning around for the moon, “but… they’re just People I was forced to live with. My aunt, uncle and cousin I think? I know they can’t possibly be my parents. Way too animal looking, you know? And the coloration is all wrong for my natural appearance.”
Lust had a feeling she wanted to say more but stopped herself…
“So do you have family?” She asked as she went back to leading Lust to thee next shop.
“A brother,” he hummed with a fond smile, “the light of my life. He’s my younger brother but he’s super cool and waaaay tall~” he paused, then hummed, “not too long ago my family got bigger though~ I met some amazing people and they really feel like family. A missing part I never knew I needed until I met them. There’s Nightmare who’s the leader… although he acts more like a dad to everyone~ don’t tell him I said that, last time someone brought it up they were flung into a bush,” he snorted, “then you’ve got the always hungry Horror. I’ve been feeding him rather well, but sometimes I wonder if his hunger is too much for me to handle… it’s rather concerning how ravenous he gets and forgets friend from foe in the heat of his starvation…” he sighed, “then you have Killer, a melodramatic asshole that loves to sing my ear off with one of those bar songs he learned at Grillbys,” back to the fond smile, “then you’ve got Dust, the older brother pretty much. He helps keep Horror and Killer in line. He’s rather good at the Piano, but sometimes he starts talking to thin air and it gets rather concerning,” he sighed again,” then youve got the Chocoholic little brother of the gang Cross. He use to have an issue with a soul parasite, then getting taken in by the good guys and getting positivity drunk by Nightmares’ brother… but he came back to us even after everything,” he said with a pained but fond smile, “then you’ve got the uncle of the pack, Error. He comes around when he can, but he’s got a job he hates, but has to do to keep people safe. His job is rather dangerous though and sometimes I need to get Nightmare to help me hold him down while he heals naturally.”
“Can’t you use healing magic?” The girl asked.
“Would if we could. Nobody in our group can use it. Nightmare use to, but after a severe injury in a fight, he’s been unable to. He really changed a lot that day… I try, but my magic is too low and has bad side effects on people it’s used on,” he groaned.
The girl was silent for a while, just leading Lust around for a long while… then when they were leaving the last store she said, “I can use healing magic,” softly.
Lust looked to her in alarm. Her? Use healing magic? Why hadn’t he thought of outsourcing before?!?! “Is that an invitation?” He asked after composing himself.
“I’ve never used it on more than a broken bone, but I’ll try if you don’t mind…” she said softly, “I’m not sure how good I’d be on a Skeleton… but well… I wouldn’t be living on my own without those books… it’s the least I can do…”
Lust gently placed his hand atop her head, “it’s a deal then~ and don’t forget to call one of us when you’re having trouble with something, alright cutie?” He asked, offering her his phone. He replaces them often enough, it’s about time he got rid of that one and used the new one Alphys got him~ the old one was in a better place~ he was planning on replacing it the next time someone decides to throw a tantrum and accidentally break it. Sadly it happens a lot in the castle… Alphys sends over a new one every month just to be on the safe side.
“You’re… giving this to me?” She asked hesitantly.
“Yes indeed~ it’s charged by magic so just keep it close and you’ll always have a full charge~ I’ll tell everyone tonight about our little arrangement and soon I’ll be popping by to give you my new number~” he hummed before showing her how to use the phone. She was an attentive learner and soon had the inventory emptied. She soon put her books in it, hugging the phone excitedly. Finally a safe place for her most prized possessions!~
He soon said goodbye and left to take the groceries home.
Three days later he appeared with a very huffy black skeleton with what looked like blue tear marks on his cheeks. He had a broken leg and was leaning on another skeleton, this one wearing all black and white and carrying a giant cleaver in his back. That big X on the front… Cross perhaps?
“Sorry girly, took too long to convince him to come,” Lust chuckled, walking over to the shack and leading Error and Cross inside. Error grumbled as he was set down on the couch before Cross went to go stand guard.
Nightshade thankfully was waiting for something bad to happen considering her annoying luck. Things went too well today and she knew something was going to happen before bed!!!
She rushed over and took a look at the bone, “what kind of crazy person would hit another with something large and round like this?” She asked as she knelt down and held her hands just above the broken leg. Her hands at first were engulfed in a Red-Violet flame before it slowly shifted to green with a few flickers of red. Soon she was focusing intently on healing the bone. She kept the mental image of the bone whole and healthy in her mind as she let her magic do its thing.
The bone seemed to rewind as it was healed, the bone reconstructing in reverse the order it was broken in. As if time rewound in the space between the child’s hands.
When she was done she let out a sigh of relief as she sat back, “that was eas-” suddenly there was a knife at her throat and Cross was looking at her rather pointedly.
“What Did You Just Do?” He asked coldly as he stared her straight in the eye.
“Healed him,” The girl said as if it were obvious.
“That looked more li-“ lust swatted him on the head before he could continue, much to Cross’s annoyance. “Hey! That looked like you know what!” He huffed, glaring at Lust.
“And I’ve seen and met her. She’s not one of them,” Lust huffed.
“But!” Cross tried to say, but was cut off by Lust forcing him to really look at the child. “Does that little dumpling really look like she could kill a single monster?” Lust asked, “or is it a lost orphan who wants to be accepted and strives to help people?”
Cross looked at Nightshade and grumbled, “I see yer point…”
“Good, now why don’t you go hunt something to eat while Error and I have a little talk with the dumpling?” Lust asked.
Cross huffed and got up, going off to do just that.
When he was gone Lust let out a relieved sigh, “oh thank the Stars you look adorable,” he said.
“Why was he going to hurt me?” Nightshade asked, looking at Lust.
Said skeleton pat her head gently, noting how she flinched when he reached towards her. “He’s just met some really bad kids that hurt him. It’ll be alright sweetie,” he said reassuringly.
She nodded, then looked back to Error, “do you need to be healed anywhere else?” She asked.
The skeleton raised a brow, wondering what kind of messed up this kid had to be to shrug off an almost murder. But she was being helpful at least so he said, “I got hit pretty bad in the back of the skull, and a couple of my fingers were damaged in the last fight.”
She nodded, starting with the fingers before moving onto the skull. As the two skeletons watched, they could see as time seemed to rewind itself between the child’s hands. What damage there was merely undid itself. When she was done, Error pulled out some knitting supplies and some thread from his eyes to make something.
Nightshade looked to Lust with a bright grin on her face. “You did good Sweetheart,” he hummed, patting her head gently again.
“Thank you~” she hummed, smiling at the pets. It was a new sensation, but one she honestly enjoyed. Although Lust had to wipe off his hand on a cloth afterwards. Way too much condensed Magic. ”now then, do you want to stay in this Shack?” Lust asked.
“What do you mean?” Nightshade asked, glancing around the shack. After she got the phone she put all her things in the inventory boxes and the shack became more of a place to sleep than live.
“I mean… would you like to come back with us?” Lust asked, “we live in a nice big castle and you would have a warm bed?”
“What’s the catch?” Nightshade asked warily. Nobody was this kind without reason…
“The catch? Well just have you do your cute little magic trick when people get badly hurt. Some of the skeletons are a little homicidal but you get use to it,” he hummed.
“That’s it?” She asked curiously. It didn’t sound too bad an offer…
“That’s it~” lust confirmed.
Nightshade glanced between her shack and lust several times… “if… I don’t like it there… will you bring me back?” Lust nodded, “and if I want an education still?” She asked.
“Several of us were former scientists, and if that doesn’t work out I’ll see if I can weasel Nightmare into getting you set up for school in another AU,” he hummed.
“Not this one?” She asked.
“Well of course not. A cute little Monster like you deserves to go to school with other monsters~ you’ll even be able to show off that lovely hair trick of yours~” Lust hummed.
“It’s not a trick,” Nightshade huffed, “it’s an application of my magic that helps make it stronger,” she said confidently.
“Ah, I apologize for the confusion,” Lust said softly.
Off on the couch Error was watching out of the corner of his eye, more focused on the sweater dress he was making. Even when they just got there he noticed the little girl… Nightshade as Lust called her, shivering. The thread bare clothing didn’t help much either. He took note of their conversation and couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea of Nightmare taking in a child. It was about time at least. Many of their opposition had been procreating and the Children were getting rather annoying.
After a short while he finished knitting and it looked like the two were done talking. Lust looked to Error, “could you open a portal home when Cross gets back?” He asked.
Error rolled his eyes. Of course he can but will he… hmmm… “well I got y’all here didn’t I?” He asked, tossing the sweater dress at the child. It was a rather simple (by his standards) dress with puffy long sleeves, a Patience blue sash around the waist, and stars stitched along the bottom.
“For… for me?” The child asked, looking between him and the dress.
“Who else is that tiny?” The glitchy skeleton asked.
She smiled softly and hugged it before slipping it on. It fit rather well. But it was Error making it so of course it did! She looked rather excited to be wearing something like that and twirled around to look at herself in it. She walked up to him and said, “thank you very much!~” with the absolute brightest smile.