Relief

"Harry my boy!" Sirius cheered, his kind, warm eyes crinkling, "We have much to catch up on!"

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed trying to produce some sad excuse for a smile as he was pulled into a tight hug. He pushed back the urge to sob into his godfathers soft robes.

"Where's Lupin?" Harry asked trying to distract himself.

"He's home setting up your room." Sirius spoke proudly. He could not wait to have Harry home with him. He knew things at the Dursleys were not ideal, and he wanted to show Harry just how much he was cared for. Harry seemed to have lost his twinkle, but Sirius figured it was just those bloody muggles, and after a few days with him, he would cheer up.

As they walked back to Sirius' childhood home Harry couldn't help but realize how awkward it had become between the two of them. Sirius seemed nervous to talk to Harry, and well the same when for Harry himself. The sky lit with broadening pinks and purples, swirled together like a Fred and George Honeydukes concoction.

***

As soon as they entered, Harry opted to take a shower. He let out a sigh of relief as the door shut and locked behind him. Turning on the shower to escape suspicion, he rummaged through his packed toiletry bag to find what he had waited for all day. Simply the cold razor in Harry's hand made him feel at ease, but it was the exile of crimson control that he truly craved. He took out a roll of plasters, to prepare for a quick clean-up. Removing the glamor Harry got down to business.

He drug his feet up against the wall and let the blade caress his skin. It dug through his pale, ghostly skin, blood beginning to pool in the crease of his elbows, all of his self loathing dripping down, for at least a moment. He gasped at the sight of himself in the mirror next to him. He hadn't even realized he was crying. How fucking pathetic.

"Harry! I have to use the loo, no rush, but well rush." Lupin spoke while knocking. Lupin did not have to use the bathroom, but while reading he had suddenly been overcome with the scent of blood, and his curiosity had gotten the best of him. He had many theories, all of which he hoped was just himself being paranoid.

"'No worries! I'll be out in a minute!" Harry yelped, hoping it wasn't obvious that he was sobbing. He cleaned up very carefully, making sure not a single drop of blood was anywhere in the bathroom. He had to make it look like he didn't even touch anything but the shower.

Cling. His blade dropped.

"Harry you alright?" Lupin asked, suspicion rising in his throat. A large lump began to form in Lupin's throat. No, not harry.

"Sorry just dropped my bag," Harry yelled. Shit. Shit. Shit. That was a little close. Harry was almost out the door when he realized maybe he should keep a blade somewhere in the bathroom. Somewhere no one would look. He was sure Lupin and Sirius certainly wouldn't be on their knees searching every crack and crevice of the bathroom. They had no reason to. Harry was fine. Just dandy actually. Harry slipped his precious blade in between a crack in the grout by the cabinet and floor.

"Sorry Lupin!" Harry spoke, walking calmly out as if nothing had happened. He did not put the glamor back on, but his cuts were safely hidden by his jumper. They stung ever so slightly as his bag repeatedly hit his side.

"No problem!" Lupin smiled, but concern etched his face as Harry's hair was dry as a bone.

***

"Sirius, I think something may be wrong with Harry." Remus muttered before the two went to bed. Sirius reached out for Remus' hand.

"What gives you that impression? He seemed all smiley before." Sirius responded. The wolf was dumbfounded by the dog's ignorance. Remus had a difficult time in his middle years at Hogwarts. Harry acted like a mirror image of him back then.

"Well," Sirius spoke, awakening him from his little trip. down memory lane, "If it makes you feel better we'll talk to him tomorrow." Sirius light cupped the wolf's cheek and guided him to his shoulder.

Remus still felt uneasy but gave in to the warmth. He fell asleep on Sirius' shoulder, the dog soundly stroking his hair.

***

They both awoke jerkingly when we heard a loud bang from down the hall.

The remaining marauders quickly ran out of their room and down the hall to Harry's room. It had actually been Sirirus' room as a child. Nothing could have prepared them for the sight they would soon see. Harry sat upright in bed, mouth open, inaudibly screaming. The boy seemed to have casted a silencing spell around his bed, but due to his distress, his accidental magic had sent his trunk flying against the far wall.

Harry's forehead was drenched in a layer of sweat, as was the bed beneath him.His all too fragile chest rising and falling rapidly. With each breath Harry's ribs prominently were shown through his baggy shirt. Upon waking up, Harry's eyes widened in fear.

"Sorry, I'm so so sorry, did I wake you guys?" Harry mumbled worriedly.

"Harry, there is no reason for you to apologize, we are just happy you are okay!" Remus spoke, and Sirius nodded dumbly behind him.

"i-I understand if you wish to punish me, I-"

"My boy, are you mad? Punish you? No Harry, we would never. Did the Dursley's hurt you? Sirius continued to interrogate the shaken boy. "Those bloody bastards, I'll kill them!" he added when he noticed a small nod from Harry.

"Sirius not now-," Remus started but was interuppted.

"Padfoot it's okay, I deserved it, just like I deserved the nightmare. My actions continue to kill people and-"

"Harry! Stop! This is complete nonsense," Sirius pleaded, "Harry what did those bloody muggles do to you!" Sirius reached out to rub small soothing circles on Harry's back but was taken aback when the boy yelped in pain.

"Harry, Are you hurt?" Remus spoke almost angrily, but a hint of compassion was prevalent in his voice. Of course the anger was not directed at Harry, but rather the idea that anyone could ever lay a hand on him.

"Harry would you please remove your shirt?" Remus spoke again, nervously. He was not necessarily expecting Harry to start happily stripping, but the young boy shuttered in fear, looking up pleadingly.

"i-I can't," Harry knew very well that his glamor charms were not on. From now on he wouldn't make that mistake again. Why wasn't he more careful?

"Harry, please. We are not going to judge, or beriddle you. Just show us." Sirius added.

It wasn't that Harry didn't want to talk to Remus and Sirius about the abuse, he knew they could be trusted, he knew they would help him. In fact it was a conversation he had been rehearsing in his head for weeks leading up to this visit.

However, his arms. Never had they looked so mangled, so destroyed. Fresh gashes lay right in the center of both his forearms. He was not ready to have that conversation.