Chapter 3
xoXOXox
The train arrived at Hogwarts with as little fanfare as possible. The trio waited until everyone else had disembarked before untangling from each other and heading to catch a carriage. Harry stepped off first, his hand on his wand as he looked around at the darkened grounds. He was pretty sure nothing was going to get to them now that they were safely behind the wards of the school, but you could never be too careful.
Ron stepped out right behind him, the same nervous and alert energy vibrating along his taller and thicker frame. Both boys looked around slowly, giving someone a chance to take aim at them before either allowed their heart to step off the safety of the train.
Once it seemed all was as it should be, Ron turned and reached up, carefully helping Hermione step down off the higher train platform and setting her lightly on her feet. Her smile was one of warmth and love and he returned it with one of his own before wrapping his arm around her waist as Harry did the same on the other side of her.
It didn't take the three long to catch up with the crowd and as the carriages filled up, eight to one carriage, they stayed well in the back. Harry couldn't help but grimace as he realized that they were behind the four returning Slytherins that they despised the most. This was going to be one long and annoying ride to the castle doors.
A soft call got his attention and realizing the carriage waiting had two spots left, Harry moved forward and ignoring her arguments hoisted Hermione up, keeping his hands on her hips until Neville had her well in hand. Looking at Ron, he realized his best mate was giving him that no nonsense look of his and not bothering to try to win against the hardheaded red head, he took Neville's hand and let the taller boy pull him up.
"You sure you are going to be okay, Ron? We could wait and ride with you."
Hermione's quiet voice brought everyone's head around to face her. Her cheeks tinted a sweet shade of pink at the attention, but she kept her eyes locked on the third piece of their puzzle.
Ron's grin was carefree as he ran his hand over his spiky hair.
"No worries Mione. I'll be fine. See you both in the Great Hall."
Turning, he sauntered away from their carriage as it started moving forward, hands in his pockets as he stood like a sentinel just on the outside of the group of snakes huddled together waiting.
Harry felt a moment of panic squeeze his chest as Ron started to drift out of view and only Hermione's small hand sliding into his to grip down kept him in his seat. He knew the feeling would not fade until Ron was back in their sights but he turned to keep his eyes on Hermione to stave off the impending attack.
The hush that fell over the Slytherins had Ron frowning. He wasn't worried about being hurt or attacked. Not only were they without wands but none of them wanted a reversal of their pardons or a one-way trip to Azkaban. Not to mention, he was pretty sure at this point, they were no longer the enemy.
As the new carriage pulled to a stop, Ron stepped forward pulling several pieces of raw meat out of the plastic bag Hermione had prepared for him. She knew out of the three of them, his ability to see the Thestrals was more of a comfort than upsetting. He somehow felt like they were the guides for the dead and he needed to believe that one of the majestic and terrifying creatures had helped to usher Fred and Ginny somewhere safe and warm.
Gently letting his hand run down their flanks, he gave each of the four animals a piece of meat as he thanked them all quietly for their help. He turned only to be met with the openly horrified faces of a few of the Slytherins and contemplation on the others. He knew they could all see the thestrals, considering what they had gone through, but he didn't expect anyone else to understand his affinity to them besides Harry and Hermione.
Realizing that no one was going to move until he did, Ron moved to the steps of the carriage, his long legs carrying him in just a few glides. Gripping the sides he hoisted himself up, his back to the others showing them that he did not fear them in the least.
Turning he offered his hand to Pansy, her surprise evident in the way she flinched from him. He knew his eyes were sad and he really could not help that, but he gave her a soft smile to try to soften the moment.
"Contrary to the rest of the school, I have no ill will towards you Parkinson and I would never hurt a lady. Please let me help you into the carriage. It is the least I can do since I am not able or willing to go completely against Harry or Hermione in public. Plus, I'd like to heal your knees if you will let me. I don't like to see wounds or blood on anyone but especially a witch."
The shock that rolled across her face would have made him chuckle any other time but right now he needed her to see his sincerity. Her hesitation only lasted another moment before she carefully raised her hand and placed it in his.
Her palms were smooth and soft, her skin slightly chilled from the nighttime air of Scotland in September but he felt the spark along his skin all the same. Her breath caught even as he wrapped his fingers around her hand to keep her from jerking away. Being as careful as he would with Hermione, he helped steady her ascent as Blaise placed his hands on her hips and lifted her from the ground.
She stumbled as she placed her other foot in the carriage and only his arms coming around her kept her upright. Her body trembled in his hold and the smell of jasmine and night trickled into his nose. Taking a slow, deep breath, he took her into his lungs even as her wide, scared eyes met his.
Keeping his touch light, Ron took a step back and helped settle her on the bench across from him. He vaguely heard the others climbing up into the carriage, but he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her. Kneeling at her feet he managed to break eye contact and let his eyes roam down her body to her scraped knees.
Slowly taking out his wand so that he didn't scare her more, he mumbled the spells Hermione had taught him while on the run, watching as the magic cleaned the wounds and then healed the cuts and scrapes and soothed the pain in the bruises that were forming. Once her knees looked okay, he held out his hand for hers, meeting her eyes again in permission.
Her stunned look only made his heartbeat faster. He had always thought Pansy was pretty but as she looked at him with little guile, her open face and eyes had another part of his broken heart melting. Someone as soft and beautiful as this witch should never have been touched or tainted by war and death. It was the worst of crimes in his opinion, and he wanted nothing more than to wipe the fear out of her eyes and to replace the dull look with one that could shine with happiness and joy.
Mentally shaking his head as she laid her hand palm up in his, Ron healed first one hand and then the other of any marks before gently placing a soft kiss in the middle of her each and sitting back on the bench again. That seemed to be the signal as the carriage rumbled forward.
"Call me oblivious but what the fuck is going on? Your two friends pretty much pull a complete personality switch at the train station and admit they could care less what happens to any of us and you do the ass opposite now. What gives Weasley? What's your endgame here?"
The frustration and annoyance in Theo's tone has him dropping his eyes from Pansy's confused stare as the sorrow wells up inside him at the question to drown out any lingering warmth he had felt while staring into Pansy’s wide stare.
Giving himself a moment to build his own type of wall around his emotions, Ron looks up to meet the other boy's eyes, knowing his gaze was draining of agony and turning empty and hollow.
"There is no end game for me, Nott. Harry and Hermione have their own dementors to slay. As do I. But mine are not as angry or as ugly. I spent too much of my time being angry and stubborn. I refused to listen to any form of reason. I flew off the handle at the slightest provocation and I lashed out constantly at the people I loved the most. I lost two of my siblings in this war. That was more than enough for me to see."
Letting his eyes take in each of them one by one as he talked, Ron couldn't help but notice the dark circles under their eyes, the defeated and bowed shoulders or heads. They looked no different now than Harry or Hermione or he looked when alone and relaxed. There were no walls here anymore, no hidden emotions behind a veil of contempt. Just broken young adults who should have still been innocent of such gore and gruesomeness.
"You and I, Nott, we did not want, nor did we ask for this war. It rolled over us without any desire on our part. And it happened because our parents, and in turn their children, stopped listening. We stopped caring about the thoughts or feelings of everyone but ourselves. We refused to listen, lashed out without any real reason or direction. We left ourselves and our world open for someone like Voldemort to swoop in and do exactly what he did."
Gesturing to them all as he spoke, Ron leaned forward and pulled Pansy's hand from her mouth, her nail bed bleeding from where she had chewed it raw. Using his wand again even as he continued speaking, he let more healing magic wash over her hand and smooth away the blemish.
"I may not be rich like you all, but I am still a pureblood. That doesn't make me any less than one of you or any more than Hermione or Harry. In the end, we all scream under the torture curse, we all cry when we lose a loved one, and we all bleed red when cut down."
Giving Pansy another soft smile, Ron leaned back in his seat and met Theo's eyes again.
"The mind healers will be here, and we all know they are going to force us to face our nightmares, to talk about them and bare ourselves until we are bleeding all over each other. They want us to bond and to heal and they don't care how broken we get before we do. I, for one, refuse to allow them to drag me further into the darkness in order to see the light. I'll take the short cut and just see the light now."
Letting his eyes roam from one to the other, he leaned forward, hand sweeping carelessly over his hair as he spoke.
"I have no desire to hurt any of you. You were all children in a war just like I was. I know now that none of you really had a choice what side you were on any more than I did. If you still believe all that doctrine about being superior to people like Harry or Hermione or me then all I can say is I feel sorry for you. You are going to find life to be very unfulfilling and challenging and I hope you find your way through it."
As the carriage pulled in a circle to stop in front of the doors, Ron looked up to meet his best friend's eyes, a reassuring smile on his face as he read the anxiety and worry they were both harboring.
"Harry and Hermione, they aren't who they used to be. All of you know better than anyone what happens when dark magic touches you, seeps into you too often. I am not saying they are right or wrong. They are just broken. Until they can put the pieces back together in some haphazard version of who they are going to be, all anyone is going to see are the jagged edges that are going to cut anyone and everyone who steps too close. You had no tolerance then. They have none now. And the only thing that is going to change that is time. The one thing we have so little of."
Standing he moved to the edge and jumped down before turning to look at Nott one last time.
"You can't dictate how another person's healing will go or how they should be after such trauma. What you have to decide, Nott, is how you want to handle your own and what you want to offer the world as you do. It takes a cruel man to kick a starving and beaten animal who is already down. It takes a man of integrity and strength to patiently bring that animal back to life, to teach it kindness and trust. We were all made animals by this war. The question is, what man are you going to be now that it is over?"
With those final words, Ron turned and headed over to his friends, letting their arms wrap around him and he reassured them he was just fine and that nothing happened on the ride. Shaking his head at the questioning look Harry kept giving him, the three turned as one and headed into the castle once more with four pairs of eyes watching, all with consideration churning behind their gazes.
xoXOXox