L
There was no measure of time that I could contemplate, seconds turned into months and days into decades. Drip fed the most powerful pain killer known to both muggle and wizard kind whilst my tortured body repaired itself I was lost in a dream world.
There was no sadness where I would float to, only warmth and weightlessness. My sweetest Morphine, I could almost love you as much as I love her; but we shalt have to remain platonic my dear Morphine, your seductive alure is far too elysian for it to be honest or innocent.
In some sort of feverish borderland I heard mother's voice calling to me, a soft and damp cloth being patted across my forehead and cheeks. "Draco darling, wakey wakey, somebody is here to see you sweetheart."
With the numbing drug wearing off I subconsciously searched my body for pain, but it was dwindling now to just aches and strains rather than searing agony. I could move without the need to vomit all over myself and there wasn't an incessant pounding inside of my skull.
A very slight chuckle accompanied my mother's tone, even she knew that I was still higher than a kite sailing the spring winds. "Darling, come on, don't make me have to tickle your feet."
God, now that was always one way to get me up and out of bed when I was younger. I'd hit the fucking ceiling frankly but it surely did work. "Yep, yeah I'm trying give me a second my eyeballs are just rolling behind my eyelids." My hands came up to try and feel exactly where my face actually was, pushing and prodding on my nose and chin. That was when I heard two relieved sort of snorts.
I blinked my eyes repeatedly into vision. First zoning in on the ceiling, which was a task in itself considering how high the ceilings in this place are. I had zero depth perception for a good few seconds. That was until the gentleness of my mother slowly pulled my face to the side.
"Father?!"
There he was, unmistakeable deep blue eyes, although they didn't have a glimmer or sheen to them. Neck and fist weighed in metal and crystal, a stubbled beard beginning to grow itself around his usually clean shaven face.
"Hello boy," he whispered back. He looked awful, even worse than mother and I. But there wasn't an ounce of shame in his expression, he wasn't angry or disappointed in me. "Dad, I'm so sorry."
His large, slightly calloused hand gripped mine steadily as he leant forward. "Don't you apologise boy, you did the best that you could and I'm here now. And I won't be leaving you again so don't you think for one minute that I will or that you have to be sorry. You should never have been dragged into this in the first place."
"I just wanted to keep you safe and make you proud father." My throat was beginning to sting again now, but I'll be damned if I don't get to speak to my own dad who had been locked away from me in Azkaban for almost a year. "I'm safe Draco, and I am proud of you. Look at you, not even an unforgiveable curse could keep my boy down for long. My brave little Malfoy, well not so little but you get the gist.."
"Love you dad.." I managed to stumble through my declaration. We didn't share those often, father and I. There had always been some sort of unspoken wall of honour that meant affection was a sign of weakness; we as Malfoy's must be as hard as stone and as cold as ice. But not right now, not just us three together in this room where no prying eyes or prickling ears could intrude. "You too boy," he mumbled, squeezing my hand tighter. He didn't say the words but he still meant them. "You too."
Without due consideration I sat myself upright against the headboard but winced as soon as I realised I'd moved too fast and scrunched out a face of displeasure. "Careful you silly bugger!"
"How long have I been down for?" I asked, eyes switching between them both. Father didn't seem to know exactly but mother filled in the silence. "About ten days."
"Ten days?!" I coughed, eyes jerking wide open and lips parting. "Well you were pretty hurt darling.. and I had to give the potions a chance to get to work before weaning away the Morphine and sleeping draught."
Uncomfortably shifting in the seat beside my bed, father cast his eyes out to the window as the shadows of trees breezed side to side, signalling the sunset on the horizon. "Go on Lucius, go off to clean yourself up and get comfy. He's only been back a few hours Draco."
A blankness spread across my face, as I seemed to stiffen up. "He's not going far, just to get some fresh clothes and perhaps some dinner etc. No need to worry okay, he's home now darling."
Yes, I nodded, still weary but trusting of my parents. Because frankly, they very well may be the only two people I have left in the whole world anymore. Unless..
"Mum, has school finished for summer yet?"
"Tomorrow I think, why so my love? You know you can't go back anyway right?"
"Well yeah," I humoured her. "It would be a waste of time going back for one day and even then I'd be hobbling around like a wounded donkey. Not even I'm that naΓ―ve and honestly not that eager about school to go back for one day either."
There was a piercing and sharp silence that spread through the air now that we were alone again. And our eyes stayed in a stand-off. She didn't want to have to say it and there was no way I was ready to hear it or fucking believe it. But regardless it arrived.
"Sweetheart, you can't go back now.. ever. Not after what has happened, Dumbledore is dead. There were witnesses. I'm sorry darling but you simply can't return to Hogwarts. We will have to try and find some alternate way for you to finish your schooling but at least you have your OWL's still to fall back on."
"No!" I belted back, dismissing the sting it caused inside of my vocal chords. I had foolishly deceived myself into believing that somehow a miracle will happen and once the task was complete everything would go back to how it used to be for me. "I have to go back, do you understand me mother?! I have to go back there!"
"Can you please stop panicking? You're going to hurt yourself again.."
"Panicking?! I'm not panicking," I waffled. Throwing back the duvets and shuffling to at least try and get myself up off of the bed. Wondering how the hell I had ever managed to use the toilet if I'd been here for ten days but then the obvious answer came to me. The mess would simply be charmed away like the good olden days. "If I was panicking then I'd- the thing is you see mum I just.. Fuck! I just have to go back! Who said that I can't?! Nobody saw me, Snape did it, Snape did it mum and nobody else knows about this.." I pointed at the dark mark. Pleading. "I just, I just can't disappear and leave her and them, I just-"
I was running out of breath through my frantic rambling. Even going as far as to rousing poor Ulysses from his slumber inside of his cage. Even he must of thought I was going mad. For all my staggering it only took my mother to push my shoulders back flush to the bed before my body betrayed me and melded back to the mattress. I was weaker physically than I felt mentally.
"Your friends are fine, alright? So please calm down."
"How do you know if they're fine?! Tell me how you know mother!"
"Draco Lucius Malfoy," she scorned, eyes narrowing and a finger pointed to my face. That in itself had me calm to a stop. "You do not raise your voice to me, and if you would let me speak then I will bloody tell you but not until we have a little more respect here between us. Okay?"
I halted, and waited. Though her sharp brow arched, and head tilted. "Sorry," I mumbled. "Right that's better. Your friends are perfectly fine, I've spoken to Severus."
"Okay so he would agree that I could go ba-"
"Ah!" Mother's wand pointed up and against her lips, a non verbal 'fucking shush and wait.' "He's going to be taking the head master position. So if and when you want to know that your friends are doing well then I'm sure he'll be willing to update you within reason."
"That's just not good enough mum, I miss them."
"Well they can come and see you, in time of course, not for a while but eventually, maybe."
"Not all of them." Mother's frown did twitch into a smirk. Hm, suspicious. "Would them include whoever had sent you a letter with a rather peculiar owl? I must say, I was worried for it's health and I still am truthfully; it hit quite a few trees upon its approach. Even more when it went on its way again."
Even saying that aloud left my mum looking quite disturbed as she replayed whatever image was inside of her head.
Of course it was Kiki she spoke of. There is no other owl more peculiar than that one, and the person that she belonged to was even more peculiar. Beautifully, naturally, peculiar. "The letter itself smelt extraordinary, some sort of perfume. I'll only assume that it is the same lady friend you were cahooting with around Christmas time?"
My cheeks felt flushed and tingly. But I could hardly lie now could I? "Yeah she's my friend, what about it?"
"You do remember what I said about girlfriends and boyfriends? Consider your circumstances carefully."
The last thing I needed was a fucking lecture. I'm screwed if I do and screwed if I don't so I may as well just go ahead and love somebody anyway. "I know," I muttered, head dropping. But the words spilt out like a waterfall. "But I think I love her so.. bit late for that."
Mother herself didn't know whether to be elatedly happy or catastrophically sad. "Is that truly how you feel about her or just how she makes you feel about yourself in a shitty time in life? Because those are two entirely different things son."
"I know the difference. And I'm pretty certain of my affections. That's just about the only thing I am certain of in this 'shitty time of life'."
Rising to stride across the room, her heels making deep thuds into the wooden flooring that reminded me that my hearing was overly sensitive still; she slipped the letter from the burgundy desk and brought it back to settle into my lap.
There was no mistaking it. Addressed to DRaCo MAlfOy.
"Would you tell me a little bit about her?" Mother asked, her crimson lips thinly plastered upwards over her cheek. No, I nodded. "Not yet. Let me have this to myself for a while, especially if you truly believe that I may not get to go back to Hogwarts."
"Well she's not a muggle, mud-blood, or half-blood is she? You could still see her occasionally outside of school?"
Let me say this with confidence, both of my parents were raised with the pureblood mentality as was I. My mother even more-so than anyone else, but I believe deep down that if she truly thought that I really did deeply love anyone but a pureblood, then she would accept me for it, accept us.
And although half-blood was a better option than most others, the other 'half' of the blood secretly being Selwyn, a traitor of the Dark Lord and of the sacred twenty-eight; it was even more dangerous.
It seems I have a proclivity for getting myself into these complex and difficult situations. But she's not a situation, she's y/n, and fuck, now that it's summer.. I'm going to get a whole two months of loving, fucking and being with her unrestricted, every second that I'll get to sneak out of this place. It'll be to go to her.
It'll take a million Crucio's to stop me from doing so.
"I'll let you read your letter then," mother said whilst tenderly kissing my forehead and retreating with a curious yet genuine smile. "And I'm going to go and tend to your father... The one that I love."