XXXIX
A few more weeks passed without incident, and spring had fully blossomed. The weather was warmer, life was more colourful in general and now we only had about four months left of the sixth school year.
I was able to push the cabinet to the back of my mind for a while, I'd completed it way earlier than I was expected to. Giving me a little time to just be as normal as I was able to pretend to be.
Surprisingly I had taken to Herbology really well, in fact I started enjoying it; even though I still hate the smell of soil more than anything. Somehow y/n made it seem fun, even the most menial of projects. Her passion for the subject was rivalled only by Longbottom, and I have no doubt that she will likely become one of the greatest witches in that field without barely trying.
Some people are just born to do things, and her talent was off the charts. It came naturally to her, and she respected magical plants as if they had their own thoughts and feelings. I was shocked to learn that some actually do, but I still have no regrets about flinging that mandrake that bit me though.
We were happy, whatever that means. Her smile in the mornings would wash away all of my tiredness and make me eager to start the day, and above all, her vibrance that shone through when she was doing something as simple as explaining how something works to a first year.
She is colour, vivid and bright.
"What are you thinking about?" She whispered to me, in our third Herbology lesson that week and our last. "About how... I still don't have a clue how to cross pollenate a fanged geranium and an asphodel. But also that I don't care, because I get to look at you for a whole hour anyway."
Y/n blushed in to her book, taking notes with her free hand. "Keep going.."
One of the best feelings ever is when I'll lose track of myself staring every now and then, and she'll catch my gaze, smile softly and ask "what?" And I just respond with "nothing," because I have no good reason to be staring at her except for the fact that I don't ever want her face to leave my memory. I'd never felt like that before, it was new to me, and it was perfect.
"I also think about what to have for dinner, how many points ahead we are in the house cup, if Ulysses is okay up in the owlery, many things... but mostly, I think of absolutely nothing; except how beautiful you are to me."
"I don't like it when you're overly nice, it doesn't suit you.." She mumbled, barely looking up from her parchment. "And Ulysses is fine, him and Kiki have been grooming each others feathers, I think they're hooking up too."
"So our children are also together, bit incesty?"
"It's alright you should be used to it by now anyway, your family have been fucking each other for generations have they not? Keep it pure and all that.."
I gasped so loudly that I called everyone's attention straight on to us. "No, they have not!"
"Mr Malfoy and Miss Selwyn, last chance or you will need to leave the lesson. Your first set of mock NEWT's are coming up soon so now really isn't the time to be dallying and chatting during class hours!"
Professor Sprout is normally very placid and away with the fairies so to speak, but as time went on I think we started to wear her down. It was more or less every lesson we were told off for something or another. We both knew it, and y/n just had to push the boundaries again, it's like she can't help herself.
Her hand went up and patiently waited. "Yes y/n?"
"I hope you don't mind me asking Professor.. but, how is the menopause treating you? It's just.. you're a little grouchy lately and I just want you to know it's perfectly normal and all a part of the circle of life."
"Get out of my classroom right now!!! Out!!"
This is where I find her frustrating, she has so much potential but she keeps pushing and pushing as if she wants to get expelled; but somehow they just don't. She's punished accordingly but never sent away, if I didn't know any better I'd say she has some sort of hold on the Professor's, like a guilt thing or maybe even a bribery thing.
Somehow she wriggles her way out of trouble every single time.
I watched her dance out of the class with not a care in the world, leaving the rest of us wide eyed and eager to keep our heads down and get on with the rest of our work. Poor Pamona Sprout was quietly seething.
Once we were excused she caught up with me again in the courtyard, creeping up behind me before leaping in to my back. "Hellooooo again!"
"What the fuck was that all about?! You are in so much deep shit you're practically swimming in it!"
"Nah it'll be fine, it always is," she replied. "Seriously, I'm worried about you. If you get expelled I'll literally be so upset I don't think you understand."
"I will not get expelled Draco. If it was going to happen it would of done years ago.."
"How though? They were going to kick Potter out for fighting a whole fucking dementor. Yet you swan about like Lady muck and nobody so much as bats an eyelid?"
"It doesn't matter. Just get over it blondie. You coming to the get together tonight? I think we're going to take over the secret room on the fifth floor again.."
Her grip coiled around my neck as she swayed, sarcastically pouting. I took a swiping glance at the people all scampering off in different directions to get to their last class that day. "I can't, I told you that I'm staying in this weekend with the other Slytherins, they're all still head fucked over what happened to Goyle. It's like a house solidarity thing."
"Yeah," she sighed, a sympathetic look on her face. "It's pretty sad what happened. Have you heard any updates of how he's doing??"
"Well he's awake apparently but in an obscene amount of pain, he hasn't been able to talk yet and that's all we know so far. He's probably going to be at St. Mungo's for a while."
"Okay babe, I understand. Buuuuut..." she smirked, and lightly bit her lip. "Can I sneak in later? Sleeping in my own bed on the weekend just doesn't feel right anymore. If you know what I mean."
Unconsciously my hands had began to wander, down her back, down her thighs and back up under her skirt; bringing her on to her tippy toes. "I don't know, will it be worth my while?"
"Isn't it always?" Y/n whispered back, arching in to me and blowing her hot breath on to my ear. "I'll speak to Blaise, if he's funny about it we can just take my blankets and sleep on the common room sofa."
"Mhm, okay, I'll just have to be extra quiet.."
"Uh excuse me!! Don't you two have somewhere more important to be?!" McGonagall announced herself like a bomb going off, instantly we jumped back releasing each other from our perverse grip. Her posture shifted and she upturned her nose in disapproval. What a fucking killjoy. "Sorry- we're going."
Although, we took our opportunity for a little more kissing and fumbling the very second we were out of eyeline again. And later on that evening was quite a different affair.
The common room was quiet, us older Slytherins had taken our place in a group around the fire and on the couches. It's just the hierarchy, the older ones get first dibs. The younger ones just deal with it. To say it wasn't a little awkward would be a downright lie.
Greengrass and Bullstrode were curled up on one couch with Pans, just sort of staring in to the void. Whilst Crabbe, Theo and I sat stiff on the other; Blaise sat on the floor below us. There was no alcohol and drugs tonight, just warm tea and a dreary atmosphere.
This is what people don't see, when we all come together for comfort. Because we are a family, we're just very selective about who we let in to that family. We would die, kill, starve, steal, give our last for each other and Goyle was no exception.
"He is going to be alright, he has to be. It's non-negotiable."
"I don't know Daph, he was pretty fucked up when I saw him.."
"Draco! That's not helping!"
"Well what do you want me to say? A lie?"
"No, just be a bit more gentle. It's fucking frightening."
I'd rather attend a funeral at this point, because this was just as depressing. At least with a funeral, there's a wake afterwards. This was just misery on top of misery. And I don't think bringing up the letter I received from my mother, who had been in touch with Goyle's own mother was going to be the best move.
And especially not saying that half of his face had melted out loud.
"Does anyone want a biscuit?" Theo offered out. "Nobody wants a fucking biscuit Theodore!"
"Alright Pans I was just trying to lighten the mood.."
You know it's bad if Theo and Pansy are arguing. Although Crabbe held out his hand to take some but that goes without saying. "We're all just wasting our time sitting here in silence, it isn't going to achieve anything except make us feel worse."
"Well what else should we do? Just carry on and pretend like nothing's happened? That might be how you deal with things Malfoy but not the rest of us."
"That's how I deal with things.."
"Theo I just told you to fucking shut up, so shut up."
"God, I think someone's on the rag."
Parkinson launched a goblet at his head, narrowly missing by an inch as he ducked. It would be impossible for tensions to rise any higher than they were now. But we were all glued to our seats, nobody wanted to dare to move; nobody wanted to be the first to break the vigil.
Of course it crossed my mind, wondering what y/n and everyone else was up to right now. Enjoying themselves. But I was about to find out regardless, because a younger Slytherin wandered in to our space looking pale and shaken.
"What?" Pansy spat, her tone intimidating and spiteful. "Uh- you're with the Selwyn girl right?"
The little kid turned to me, followed by everyone else. I was on the spot, because I hadn't told everyone yet. It hadn't been the right time, and I wanted to wait until things were a bit better. But now I didn't really have a choice.
"Yeah? I am?"
"Someone's outside losing their absolute shit, I think something's wrong and she needs you."
I glanced around, trying to gage everyone's reaction. Will they be angry if I leave now?
"Yeah okay, if she needs you then go to her," Pansy nodded. "Okay, I'm coming. Who's waiting for me?"
"I think her name is Luna, she had blonde hair and blue ey-"
"I know what she looks like idiot."
"Well.. she's crying."
That sent the fear of Merlin through me and my heart sank. Luna doesn't just cry, most of the time she's completely oblivious so whatever was going on had to be serious. When I got beyond the common room I was met with her shaking like a leaf. "What's the matter Lovegood?"
My heart was in my mouth, thumping and racing. "I didn't know where else to go," Luna sniffled. "No you came to the right place. But I need you to tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me."
"I think she took something or someone gave her something, or put it in her drink and she's falling everywhere and her eyes are rolling back. She can't speak properly. And her hands are really cold. I don't know what's wrong.."
She began to cry again, looking hopeless and beside herself with guilt. "Luna, you have to take me to her now okay? And breathe for god sake or you're going to have a panic attack!"
I took her by the arms and steadied her in front of me, calling her attention solely on to me. "Take me to her Luna, you're alright. Everything will be alright if you just pull it together and show me where she is."
Eventually she nodded and took off, me following immediately behind her. I had to loosen my tie, it felt like it was choking me all of a sudden; my entire chest filled with dread.
Merlin forbid anyone tries to stop us from where we're going, be it teacher or student, is going to fucking regret it if they try to get in my way right now.