XXIX
If I tried to explain what was unfolding to anyone who wasn't there I'd of been called mental.
Never in all my years had I witnessed something so breathtakingly insane. The lanterns hung from anywhere they could be hung from. Strings and rows of lights bunted from the wooden beams above our heads. Jars of fireflies set up in stacks, dotted across flat surfaces.
There were people sat in the docked boats, others huddled in groups in corners. Some were actually in the water, terrorising those who chose to sit and just dangle their legs in by flicking the water at them. It was still a struggle to register how this much noise was more or less untraceable just a few kilometres away.
"For the first time ever, I really don't know what to say.."
"Same, honestly.."
Whilst Blaise and I tried to come to terms with our surroundings it was apparent that Theo and Pans had no problems with getting fully involved. Theo cannonballed into the water from the docking ledge and Pansy was already egging someone on to chug. I turned to alert Zabini to what I was seeing, but noticed that he had disappeared too.
Great. Get stuck in, don't mind me.
The Weasley girl was the funniest, I watch her completely beast someone out in a playful dual. Said person did not get back up off the floor for a while. Strangely enough, that prompted several cheers and people having to drink something for losing the bet.
"Hello, Mr-- Malfoy." Just by the teasing tone and mockery of Snape's inflection, I already knew it was y/n. So when the fingers curled around my waist and dug themselves snugly in to the front of my shirt, the obscenely bright painted nails were not a shock either. "Yes, darling?"
"Ooh I love it when you talk dirty." I span to be greeted with a mane of curled hair, little plaits with beads showing from underneath. Whatever she had pressed on to her eyelids glittered, and her lipstick was a deep, dark, wine red. It made her lips look more delicious then ever. "Do it again."
"Darling."
"So, what do you think? Wondering why you've been so sheltered up until now?"
I mean, respectfully, fucking yes. "I don't have a clue what you mean. This is like a light brunch for us lot."
"Okay, darling. If you say so. I see you did bring friends. Although whoever the curly brown haired one is, is absolutely feral. He's just rammed a whole fistful of mushrooms in his mouth. He's gonna be tripping pretty fucking hard soon."
"Pansy's problem, not mine."
"Oh are they like a thing?"
How do I find the right words to express just how gay they really are, and most certainly not an item. It's more so Pansy having to run around after Theo, trying to control his manic episodes and getting pulled in to it and ending up even worse than him. "Yeah they've been together for years, they're basically a married couple now."
"They're kind of cute."
"Yeah, lovely couple. Truly."
My face was telling a completely different story to my mouth. Just trying to hold in the urge to break down had me pursing my lips until they ached. "You lying toad!"
Too late, I'd cracked up and pulled a few onlookers attention from whatever they were doing. It was kind of strange that I felt completely out of place. Because I wanted to be here, and I wanted to enjoy it but I still had tension weighing on my shoulders. So y/n stood on her tippy toes and leant in to my ear.
"You don't need to impress anyone here love, just be yourself.. come on, lets go sit somewhere."
Just the feel of her breath on my neck made me flare in to goosebumps.
The group we joined were already several drinks deep in to a game of truth or dare. This was only just the beginning if intuition served me correctly. So I took several shots just to take the edge off, before anyone even tried to say hello, which wasn't many people.
You realise just how many people you've pissed off when you're forced to fraternise with them. In any other situation I would of viewed them as the enemy.
But then it hit me suddenly, like a gunshot straight between the eyes.
At least half of the people may be killed or exiled under Voldemort's rule. People with families and friends, people my age or younger. People who may or may not of been very good friends to me had I given them half the chance, all blissfully unaware and celebrating their youth. Right next to the person who helped it be stolen from them.
"Y/n.."
"Yeah?" She mumbled, turning back with big, wide eyes. Never looking more beautiful to me than she does now. "Have you got a smoke? I need like five minutes, I'm a bit stuffy a sec."
"Yeah, okay, here you go. Are you alright or do you want me to come with you?"
"No. I'll be five minutes." Y/n bought my smile, handing a cigarette over without question and turning back to her friends, whilst I struggled through a mirage of people. And instantly I noticed an empty, un-tampered with boat just floating in the corner, harnessed to a hook.
It rocked a little as I climbed in and sat down, and did absolutely nothing to help my feelings of guilt or unease. Then the nicotine rushed my veins, and I felt slightly light headed for a minute or so. But it soon subsided and took the tension away with it, yet the ache in my arm remained; the one that had been bugging me all day.
As if something was coming, on it's way, getting stronger.
A lot like the weird, wishy washy feeling that was starting to build in my stomach. For some reason my skin felt extremely cold, like intense blasts of cool air were rushing over me continually. I began to have an overwhelming urge to just get up and move. And I'd gotten to the point I felt so happy I could cry before I even thought about going back and when I did, I was pretty wobbly.
"Oh you're back, you better now?"
I scooped my arms around y/n, pulling her flush against me. "I feel fucking brilliant. How do you feel? Do you feel good, because I feel so brilliant. So brilliant. Absolutely fantastic."
Her response wasn't as hyper and upbeat. "What's gotten in to you suddenly?"
"That cigarette you gave me, totally relaxed me. In fact, I'm feeling better than relaxed. I don't know how I ever let myself be anxious in the first place."
Y/n squinted, narrowing her eyes to get closer to mine. "Holy fuck, you're pupils are huge. Have you taken some-- oh no." She furiously burrowed through her bra, retrieving another cigarette and gave it a once over. "Oh god. I might have given you the.. wrong cigarette by accident."
Sweat was starting to jewel on my forehead slightly now, as I just continued to feel more and more elated. "So what I don't care? I feel beautiful, amazing, perfection. I don't know about you y/n but I need to fucking move or something. Wow, I fucking fancy you."
"Ginny?" Y/n called, leaning herself back from my embrace. "Ginny I made a booboo!!"
Weasley came walking over, throwing a glare at me before it turned in to confusion. Y/n spoke to her through grit teeth to try and hinder my understanding of what she was saying but I understood perfectly.
"I accidently gave him the special cigarette."
"You did not?!"
"I did, what do I do?! Is he going to die?!"
Woah now a fucking minute!
"No he'll be, er- okay-ish. I think. Might trip a little bit, and almost everyone whiteys on their first time."
"What do I do?! We weren't supposed to take it yet.."
"Well there's really only one solution," said Ginny. Guiding us to a safe place to sit momentarily before announcing herself to the rest of the party. "Okay guys, we've had a breach!! Someone has accidentally taken their Copelandia Mushrooms early.. So, in true team spirit fashion. We're all going to take ours too and get off our fucking faces!"
Why in the name of Merlin everyone cheered and clapped was beyond me.
"Y/n? The fuck have I just put in my body? And why is the Weasley girl encouraging this type of thing isn't she supposed to be all loved up with Potter? I can't see him approving of this shit?" Y/n sucked her cheeks in before releasing them with a pop. "It's just a plant, herbal, like weed. Just really fucking strong and totally different. And you're right, he doesn't approve of this shit. Ronald does though, look, he's fast asleep in the corner with half a sandwich smeared across his chin."
"Okay weird, but what is the Weasley girl talking about team spirit? We're not about to have a game of fucking quidditch y/n.."
She shoved a handful of god knows what in to her mouth and chased it down with liquor. "Okay, you don't need to whisper. I'm right here. And you're going to be fine. In a couple minutes we're all going to be on the same wavelength alright? Just stay calm and ride it out, that's the only thing you can do now."
Ride it out? Ride it out? I don't wanna fucking ride anything out.
I could of sworn on everything that I own that her eyes just changed colour, and then changed back again. "Woah, do that again.."
"Do what Malfoy?"
"That spooky thing right there." Y/n descended in to a wheezing fit, probably not helped by the fact I had gotten right up nose to nose, to study her face as it began to morph and change slightly. "You tripping balls already? Well at least we know that they work."
"You're so beautiful I just wanna get balls deep inside of you twenty four seven."
Everyone within hearing range seemed to have a grin emerge on their faces that suggested they were trying not to laugh at what I said and the sincere energy and enthusiasm I said it with.
"I'd love to just give it to you raw. You can completely ruin my life if you want to, I'm not gonna stop you! I mean better that you do it instead of me doing it myself right?!"
I was so unnecessarily loud, and I didn't even notice. Until Pansy's own slurring and jovial voice broke the fucking sound barrier. "Dracooo, are you being emo again?!"
"Pans, I think that's a slur!" Theo spread himself in to a semi-arch over her lap, letting his head hang freely. "That's not a slur, mudbl-- Never mind. Gaylord."
"Lemon licker."
"Cock sniffer."
"Woah, woah, woah, someone turn the fucking music up for Merlin's sake!!"
The whole collective jumped up and cheered at the admission before every single person merged in to one singular, dancing, wave of sorts.
Ron Weasley didn't even flinch, if I had to peg a bet on it I'd say the boy must of easily smoked his body weight, times four in weed. Good on him honestly.
After a while dancing, most people seemed to break in to giggles. Including y/n who was now tripping too as she danced in front of me. Every person was sticky and warm, we were no exception. And her hand fit perfectly in to the crook of my neck, holding my head still so that she could press her mouth on to my own.
I'd never done mushrooms before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. But the trip had her tongue feel like it was melting in to my own, almost like it had become one. And the skin of her back, beneath her top felt like it was velvet, hot and wet velvet. "I don't believe in love, at all. Or fate. But, if I could go back to that same night on the upper floors and do it all over again I would."
"Love is shit. So don't call it that. Call it living in the moment."
Our teeth bumped a little bit as we both tried to smile at the same time, although when I pulled back I started to freak out. People's faces all around us looked like they were melting. And when y/n spoke again her voice was all deep and distorted.
"You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost?"
"Yeah, fine." I wasn't fine. Y/n's eyes slowly turned in to angry, red snake eyes. Along with everyone else, and they all looked and stared at me at the exact same time. I felt like throwing up on the spot and I could see my heartbeat. It made my surroundings zone in and out in time with it. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Actually, why is everyone looking at me?"
"Everyone's dancing Draco, and they want to kill you."
"What?!"
"I said they're going to kill you, we all are. We know what you did."
Managing to pull myself away, I just bumped in to more people and they were all doing exactly the same thing. "What do you mean you know what I did there's no way that you could possibly know."
It was as if the entire boathouse was going to collapse in on me. I felt so small. Just surrounded by these ill intentioned beings that no longer resembled anyone I knew anymore. "You've set me up. You've all set me up."
"You need to calm down, you're giving yourself a bad trip." I looked aside to see that y/n's face had changed back to her and now she looked as worried as I was. "Look at them all y/n, they're shape shifters. You've brought us to danger, you fucking idiot!"
"Draco, look at me. Look at me. It's all in your mind okay everyone's dancing and having fun. It's the mushrooms. Nobody's even looking. Breathe slowly. You haven't done anything wrong, nobody wants to hurt you."
"I have. I have done something wrong and they all know. They all know, and they're all looking at me. I need to get to safety before they kill me for what I've done. I said I didn't want to do it, but I wasn't given a choice so we need to go..."
She took my face and pulled it downwards, keeping my eyes on hers. "Just breathe through it. I've done it enough times to know that it will pass soon. You just have to remember that it's not real. I'm right here, just keep looking at me."
But the panic attack was already at a fever pitch, and overwhelmed, I broke free of her grip and aggressively pushed through everyone. Leaving y/n in the crowd, shouting after me but drowning between the moving bodies. "Gins, Gins I need the counter-potion!!"
I could hear her behind me, scrambling around for something, but it just faded away until I finally hit cool and fresh air again. Falling to the grass with my hands and knees, I steadied myself as it rocked and moved beneath me.
And then I was sick. An ungodly amount.
It did nothing to release the bad feeling from my gut though, and all I was able to do was drop to my side and curl up in to a trembling ball, and hope that I wasn't about to be consumed by the floor never to be found again.
This didn't even feel remotely like fun to me. I wanted out, big time.. Sharpish.