XVII
Y/n,
Thanks for the bitchy letter, my Christmas was in fact actual shit. But I did appreciate your little gift, so much so in fact my own mother decided she was entitled to half. Apparently it was a thing when she was our age too. Fucking weird honestly. Also what the hell is wrong with your owl? I know you said that she's a bit 'special,' but Merlin.. I thought the thing had died at one point. Where did you even find the owl? Surely they'd not just sell you an animal that, I guess disabled, it's eyes were completely crossed?
Either way, I suppose she got the job done. I hope you are doing well and that your Christmas was much more lively than mine. I hate to admit it but the aftershave did smell half decent.
Hope to hear from you again soon I suppose, my owl should be a little more proficient in delivering this to you. I know he's scary looking but he is also a little lacking in the intelligence department.
DrAcO MAlFoy.
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DrAcO MAlFoy,
Good I'm glad it was shit, no less than you deserve. Mine was fine, just me and my mum as per.
She works a muggle job caring for the elderly and disabled though so I don't really see much of her when I'm home as a lot of her shifts are through the night and then she sleeps all day.
I got this cool fucking cauldron type thingy though so I can mix my perfumes together better, I've just been fucking around with that most of the time honestly. And a Eurasian Eagle-Owl? Really? It's fucking terrifying I thought it was going to peck my eyes out you creepy bitch. How could you have thought for one second that was a cute pet? It's a literal bird of prey.
Literally enormous, I had to shove my arm out of my little cottage window to actually take the letter because it wouldn't fit on the ledge.
Is your aesthetic just pure creepy all the time or is it coincidence?
How was the joint anyway? Did mummy enjoy? Word in the school is she's a milf. And you know I swing both ways, let her know if she's ever in need of a regular plug then I'm available.
Also here is another scent of aftershave I've made, give it another scratch and sniff and let me know again, sort of like you would do with your balls you absolute cretin.
Y/n
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Y/n,
Literally shut your fucking mouth I don't scratch and sniff my crotch thank you, I don't know what kind of disgusting people you spend your time around that do that but they sound horrific. And yes I'm aware the bird is rather intimidating looking but honestly, he's harmless. He's called Ulysses. He wouldn't cause anyone harm despite his appearance.
The joint was actually pretty good, according to mother anyway she said the rolling was great. I'm not sure what kind of weed it was but it made me so relaxed. Some times it gives me anxiety but for the first time in ages I actually slept through the night so thanks I suppose.
So.. does that mean you're on your own all night, every night? That must be a bit crap and lonely?
Perhaps it should be you jumping off the astronomy tower doing back flips and stuff because that must be depressing. Then again it's you and you're weird you'd probably like it.
Also when were you going to tell me that you live so close by? I could probably get there in under an hour and crucio you or something for the laughs?
And yes, the aftershave is nice. There. Happy now? Fool.
Suck my big, fat, dick.
Draco Malfoy.
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I had just finished writing out my response when my mother briskly tapped at my door, so I folded up the parchment and stuffed it away from curious eyes.
"What are you doing then? Not more drugs I hope," mother nudged me sarcastically with a grin. "Just writing to some people that's all.."
"Anyone I know?"
"Okay nosy, back off," I grinned. "And no."
She gasped lightly, leaning over so that we were both looking at each other through the mirror above my desk. "A lady friend? Or even a boy I mean, if that's your thing?"
"Yep, a lady friend. But literally just a friend mother no need to get over excited."
Her grin dropped down to a thin, flat smile. "Yes, well as much as I'd love to see you having girlfriends or boyfriends; I don't think right now would be the right time to do it."
"Yes mother, I'm more than aware." I dropped my quill back in to it's ink pot with a huff. I mean, she's completely right. Not only would it be dangerous but I quite simply wouldn't have the time or tenacity to hold down any sort of relationship at this point in my life. "Like I said, just a friend mum."
"Okay darling," she whispered, kissing the top of my head and lightly rubbing my shoulders. She does that every few hours, check in on me. I don't know if it's more for me or for her though.
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Dracorini Bikini Tortellini,
No because I literally bet you do, and then make your friends do a sniff test on your finger. You Slytherin bunch seem kind of fucked up in that way.
And Ulysses, really? Could you have not just called him Dave or Nigel? How do you even pronounce such a name, it's so posh and pompous you need to get a life. Then again I'm saying this to the guy who likes to sit and headbutt brick walls when he's stressed.
And I didn't think it was any of your business knowing where I lived, besides I'm much more skilled than you in dualling. I've seen you go in dual class and you're prone to the odd concussion from what I've observed. Gimp.
And no it's not shit or lonely because I can do what I want when I want when the house is empty. Also thank you for your feedback on my perfumes, I'll take your opinion in to consideration even if It's wrong 99% of the time and no I shall not be sucking your dick.
Not until you suck mine first. I'm sure I could get hold of one, might taste like plastic at first but I'm sure you'd adjust to it pretty quickly.
Y/n
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The letters started becoming less formal as time went on and become more like a back and fore of notes rather than letters. And we were only a day away from New Years eve now.
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Whatever, if you're looking for someone to be sucking on a fake dick I'm sure my friend Pansy could assist... Also Dracorini Bikini Tortellini? You high right now?
Nice, I'll take her. Wouldn't mind would you? And no I'm not Dracorita Bonita Tortilla.
YOU WOULDN'T DARE.
Try me, what's her address??
As if I'd tell you.
Jealous much? Don't be insecure Malfoy, I'm sure you could suck much better but I'd need to get a standard to set you up against first..
Shut your fucking mouth. No. Do not accost my best friend in to sucking your fake dick.
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This shouldn't of been half as amusing as it was, but it just was. And our poor owls were getting beyond tired now with the constant back and fore journeys. But we were so caught up in our weird banter, bicker I don't think we truly noticed until they really started to lag.
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My owl is getting really tired now y/n.. so this will probably be my last one or two notes. But any plans for new years eve to see the year in?
Nope. Mum's working so just me, myself and I. And same, Kiki is being more of a moron than usual so I agree. Didn't even wanna write you in the first place anyway so whatever loser. Bye.
Fair enough y/n, I would say it's been a pleasure conversing with you but we both know that would be a lie wouldn't we. Enjoy your boring new year. Idiot.
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And that was that, we had spent the whole week trying to pretend that we hated each other in amongst the clearly obvious flirting, that I don't think either of us noticed was going on until it was too late and our words had already been sent out.
I kept all of her letters and parchment in a separate, empty draw that smelt gorgeous every time I opened it from all of the perfume and aftershave laced paper. To be honest sometimes I opened it just for the smell every now and then.
Deep down though I felt awful that she'd be by herself on New Years, traditionally we don't really celebrate it here at home. My dad had some weird aversion to it that he would never really tell anyone about. So I've no doubt that just out of habit alone this year would remain the same.
So the answer is quite simple isn't it?
I'm gonna go there, just turn up and hope she doesn't either punch me or blow my skull off. But I think I'm gonna go, just so that she isn't by herself. Even if we just sit outside for a bit. And you don't need to give me an excuse to get the fuck out of this house for a bit anyway.
Maybe a new year can bring some luck with it for once. If not, then at least neither of us will be alone when the clock strikes 12.