XIII
The morning after our egomaniacal, weed and booze fuelled rage fuck I awoke to her still beside me. We had fallen asleep, but nobody else was here in the beds besides us. Normally Blaise and Goyle would be there but they were still empty.
I'm just going to assume that they heard what was happening and had the sense to crash on the couches or top and tail with some of the others. I've had to do it more than once so it's about time I got my turn to take over the dorm for 'activities.'
The most surprising thing to me though was that I wasn't angry that she was still sleeping here. Obviously I was still in my shirt and just my boxer shorts, her with her underwear back on somehow; but she laid out like a little doll in a position one might make a sculpture of. Her temple rested upon her wrist and when she laid on her side like that her body shaped out in to a beautifully curved horizon.
Legs delicately pressed together down to the knees, with one calf kicked out backwards; her toes had been painted a sparkly red colour. And her hair had fallen around her face so softly, the makeup around her eyes smudged in to a smoky hue.
A few feathers were still scattered around the room where we had blown out one of my pillows, some rested on her and maybe that's why she looked like such an angel.
I found myself mindlessly picking stray hairs away from her face and placing them back in to her hair as I laid on my side to just study her face properly whilst it wasn't hurling abuse at me.
She has a beautiful cupids bow on her top lip, and the actual skin of her lips are littered with tiny little lines and crevasses. It completely contradicts the absolutely awful and crude words that come out of them.
Her nose has a tiny little bump on the ridge, only a little one, not at all crooked but it adds so much character to her face. And all across her chest she has patches of skin that are different to others, some of them flush red sometimes when she drinks or gets flustered, and one boob is a little bigger than the other but they're still beautiful. Her hips are wide, and her knees have dimples...
Wait what the actual fuck am I doing? I'm literally lying here staring at her and making mental notes of all the fine little details about her. Merlin's fucking fuck! Get up!
I shot upwards as quickly and as quietly as I could, hunting all over for my trousers that had gotten launched across the room without a care. And stepping in to them I turned away from her just so I couldn't look at her anymore. And I shook myself down to go out in to the common room and face everyone, we had long missed breakfast although I doubt many turned up after last night.
But the very second I stepped out and closed the door behind me I felt a punch connect with the side of my face that sent me several steps to the side and across a stool that broke the fall.
Terence Higgs. "You complete fucking wanker! Thinking you're so fucking brilliant, just walking along and taking my date away. My girl, that I brought. The one I was supposed to be getting lucky with but no Draco fucking Malfoy, spoilt daddy's boy always gets what he wants. Fuck you mate!"
Blaise got to his feet in my defence. "Woah, woah now chill the fuck out yeah it's not even that deep?!"
"No but it is though. He's always fucking skulking around acting shady as fuck and now he's prowling on other peoples bitches too!"
"Bitches?!" Snapped Blaise. That piqued everyone's attention because we had all only ever seen Blaise lose his temper like twice, ever.
"Is that what women are to you bitches?! Try and remember a woman brought you in to this world, and if karma does work properly then with a bit of luck it'll be a woman who takes you back out of it if you want to behave like a fucking pig like that for the rest of your life."
As aforementioned, Mrs Zabini is a single mum and Blaise is fiercely protective of her. Of any woman actually, he's pretty much a borderline feminist.
"It's alright Blaise, I've got this mate. Just chill out and go sit down yeah?" I assured him, straightening myself out and readying myself for the final stinging blow that was about to cut this prick's confidence in half, then quarters, and then down in to dust.
And I walked up slowly, face to face with him, looked him up and down before landing my stare back on to his scrawny, little, screwed up face.
"Shit punch, I've had harder boners."
"Yeah well, she asked me to kiss her down in that party. So she can't be that in to you."
Oh man, okay well he basically asked for this.
"She asked you to kiss her.. She begged me to fuck her. We're not the same. Not even in the same league mate.-- And I can pretty much guarantee that if we both walked in to that room right now, it's me who'd get to eat her cunt. Well again, anyhow..."
The corners of his mouth started to twitch in frustration, short bursts of air leaving his nose in an angry rhythm.
"... But since you'll never get to, here's a little something to keep you going whilst you come to terms with the fact that you lose."
I leant next to his ear to whisper, but loud enough that everyone else could hear me too.
"She tastes.... So. Fucking. Good."
Then I leant back to come face to face with him again, his twitching mouth had turned downward now in to a scowl. His pride was shattered and I loved every single second of it.
"Yeah.. you just remember that when you look at her and see my finger marks at the back of her knees. And I'll be right there waiting every time that you do, to appear out of thin air to terrorise you with with that thick, smug grin I'm so good at. Because I won. Me."
"Well she's an easy little fucking druggy anyway, everyone knows it. So maybe you did me a favour," Terence replied, which was weird. Quite the change in tune. Nevertheless, I'm still going to have the last word.
"Yeah well.. that easy little druggy still creamed all over my dick whilst screaming my name. Not yours, so do with that information what you will. I'm putting my money on crying in the showers about it later."
He walked away with a smirk that left me feeling uneasy and when I looked out everyone's eyes were no longer on me. My own scanned around until they fell back to the dormitory door to see y/n stood there, wrapped tightly in my jacket to cover her decency; she was silent but her eyes told me everything I needed to know.
I just fucked up really bad.
"Y/n.. I was just-"
She began to storm out and past me to leave, so I tried to follow, ignoring the prying eyes and tumbling over stacks of books and whatnot. "Y/n you can't walk around like that barefoot just go back to my room and we can figure something out! Come on!"
I caught up with her just as she was about to walk out of the common room door, landing a firm hand on her shoulder. So y/n span so fucking fast and stuck her knee right between my legs sending me over in to a painful, coughing hunch. But I was brought back up straight by her wand stabbing in to my throat.
Her whole face was narrowed now and she heaved in anger. "When you have authority to tell me what I can and cannot do then rest assure you will be notified. Otherwise don't ever talk to me again, don't come near me, don't look at me.. if you so much as breathe in my direction I'll take your head off and stick it on a pike. After all, we wouldn't want the likes of you associating with an easy little druggy would we?"
"I didn't say it Ter-"
She cut me off again. "Oh yes you did, after saying many other fucking things too. Don't think you're special, I was drunk and you were available. The only easy little druggy in this circumstance was you darling. And I know your type all too well.. act the big man but inside you're just an insecure little boy looking for validation. Well, whatever has been troubling you.. I hope it ruins your entire life, fucks your head up and does send you off the edge of the astronomy tower. But in the meantime, if you want your jacket back later, you'll find it a pile of ashes behind the greenhouse. Now get the fuck out of my face you useless, boring, shit shag."
Wow.
I mean it was well deserved, and she never gives any more or any less than she takes. So that was both of us feeling like utter shit, embarrassed and hurt by the other.
And I definitely know that I didn't mean what I said, but I have no way of being sure that she didn't mean what she said. Fittingly, if I was ever going to experience an ego death, then it just happened.
I'd never anticipated that a girl would be able to hurt me because I don't do feelings, but she did, and that's when I was certain about it.. it was because I had feelings. Hurt ones, but they surely did exist.
I felt like vomiting everywhere from the amount of adrenaline mixed with incomprehensible emotion.
And the others knew damn well to not even bother to try and follow me to talk about it or comfort me as I hung my head, with my tail between my legs back to my dorm and slammed the door. Diving face down in to a pillow to just scream in to it.
My life just got ten times more complicated, and the cabinet wasn't even the worst of it anymore.
So that was the first time I hurt y/n, but not the last, no the last time I did that was when I died.
And that was the first time she hurt me, nor the last either, but we'll get around to that later on.