VII
Now I'm going to take us to the part of our story where it starts to get good, so you can really see the difference in who we were before I died and who we, well she, is now.
So a couple weeks passed again after the lake incident, I'd not noticed much of y/n. I mean not like I was keeping an eye out for her anything.. but anyway she definitely got quite a few detentions for pulling the stunt in potions so I'm guessing her weekends had been spent doing nothing but chores and writing up stuff instead of her usual debauchery.
I'd skipped dinner times in the evening a lot recently to catch up on the cabinet. I was having trouble with the incantations not activating the runes that run through the frame. Some are still pretty damaged and beyond what I can achieve with a wand. It was turning out to be quite a lot of manual reparations and DIY is not in my forte.
Like yeah, rich, pureblood who was forced to take ballroom dancing lessons and learn Mandarin, doing fucking DIY. I'll let you try to picture that.
Surely it would of been more pro-active to have elves do this sort of business but in the same breath no sane elf working here at Hogwarts is going to be willing nor quiet about it.
It's winter half term now, a lot of people went home for the week; not everyone though. Most don't see the point since it'll be Christmas break again in another six weeks. Usually I'd be jumping at the chance to get the fuck out of here but home isn't so homely anymore and I have other obligations here now on top of it all.
The common room was mostly in silence. Pansy and Theo had gone back to hers because the Parkinson's wanted to meet Theo properly, but they're going to have a fucking field day when they finally realise both Theo and Pansy are the queerest people on the planet and use each other as cover stories.
Blaise always goes home at every opportunity, Mrs Zabini is a single mum and he's fiercely protective of her and doesn't want her getting lonely when he's gone most of the year. He's quiet, but also a massive mummy's boy.
Same.
No fucking clue where Crabbe and Goyle are nor do I care. Pucey got suspended for four months for up-skirting like the weird fucking toad he is; and the younger Slytherins just don't come to this side of the dorms.
So considering the dorms and common room are underwater, it's quieter than usual. The odd shuffle and scuttle of things moving about by themselves, maybe even the odd drip of water coming from a tap but aside from that it was just white noise.
And the fact that my mind is so loud right now is just making it ten times worse.
I'm not going to look for her again, if I do then that'll be twice I've done it and the fourth time I'm going to get roped in to some dodgy shit no doubt.
I don't know how I've got the nerve to even say that when I'm literally a death eater that's trying to form a passage between here and the dodgiest shop on Knockturn alley, so that we can murder anyone and everyone. Even her too if she happens to stand in the way.
It would be like a bear playing with a squirrel before tearing it to shreds, utterly sadistic.
And to top it all off I've just spilt an entire bottle of pumpkin juice right across the common room sofa and the book I was 'pretending' to read.
It's as if she's in the back of my head, nagging with her stupid little voice and smooth thighs. Whispering over my shoulder with the smell of cherry gum crawling over my face, that if I close my eyes I can almost taste.
I've completed my essays, I've eaten all the snacks I had stashed from Theo, I have single handedly rearranged every book, piece of clothing, jewellery and pairs of shoes I own here.
I don't know what else I can do to occupy my mind. When classes are active I don't even have to consider her being in close proximity, besides she might not even be here.
Nah, she would of had that privilege taken away.
I hate myself, I do, I fucking hate me. I threw my head back whilst also launching the book over to the other couch. I'm just gonna go and tell her how much she repulses me and maybe start an argument to pass the time.
The sun had indeed set. Why is it always first thing in the morning or late at night when she enters my world like a hurricane? Like, can you not be a dick mid-afternoon instead so I've got time to calculate a satisfactory response you stupid girl?
It was easy to find her dorm since I'd not asked her house, because that would be innately dumb considering we all walk around in our house colours all day. Her dorms weren't guarded by a portrait though but a statue. "Entry Please?"
The statue just stayed inanimate and wholly unbothered about my existence. "Entry--- now?"
Nope.
"Fucking.. Alohamora you ugly stoney cunt!"
Nah.
"Shove it up your fucking arse, troll dick sucker."
To my surprise the statue creaked as it wrenched its stone arm upwards, half-drawing some sort of sheathed sword before a door slowly cracked open. Except another student was the other side with their hand on the door knob as if they opened it from the inside.
"Honestly I'm only opening the door because the insult toward a literal brick was quite amusing. What do you want Malfoy? Run out of people to bully so looking for some fresh meat?"
This random knows me better than I do, go figure. Because yes I was out and about looking for trouble. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.."
The female student rolled her eyes and began shutting the door again. "Ay wait- fucking wait a minute!"
She stopped and stared at me, blinking, why are people always doing that to me? Like I know I'm an occulemens but christ at least use a bit of directive. "Is y/n in or has she gone home?"
"Oh." She nervously scratched her head. Oh fuck, is she dead? Hurt? Has she miraculously turned normal? "She's having one of her moments, and when I say moment I mean whole entire fucking day non-stop."
"Look I don't speak female, I am a man so just get straight to the point."
"Do you know what.. If you think you're brave by all means go forth."
"Oh I know I'm brave so get out of my way moron."
She puckered her lips with a slight expression that suggested she knew I was going to be walking back out of here a different person to who I am now. In a way she was right, too. But fortune favours the brave, and victory spoils the fearless.
I shoved past arrogantly, straight in to a common room that was shabby and not at all well kept. Of course she'd be living with a group of scruff bags, why would I expect anything less?
"Which dorm is hers?"
"Up there," Pointed the girl. "Good luck."
Hastily I tread up a set of circular steps, reaching another level. Music was pumping from behind a closed door so that's how I knew where she was and when I crept up close enough I could hear shallow sighs and hums.
Oh shit I hope she's not in there doing someone. So I knocked, usually I'd barge right in but I was far too weary this time.
"Come in Mi Amor, welcome to Mi Casa or Tu Casa, depending on how you look at it.. where dreams come true and! OOP-"
There was a bang as if somebody had fallen over, and when the door opened y/n was just picking herself up cackling. The room was a state, her things were littered around in a disorderly fashion, y/n had stuck glitter gems under her eyes for no reason and was clutching at a bottle of fire whiskey like it might grow legs and run away.
"Oh hello you," she smiled, tilting her head. "Do step inside the abode I'm having quite the event in here."
I softly closed and locked the door behind me to save her any unnecessary embarrassment should someone decide they have the balls to actually come in. "Y/n are you literally always drinking?"
"Do you want the truth or the lie?"
"Truth."
"No, not always but I enjoy some mindless self indulgence. Anyway what's brought you here? Are you not 'sick of me' yet like you professed so adamantly?"
"Just bored, wanted to see if you were alright. Everyone's gone home for a bit and I knew it as fact that you'd be somewhere causing trouble."
"Clever boy!" She smiled, pouring out fire whiskey for us both that I took eagerly because matter of fact was I needed it right now. And then another, and then another until again I'd wound up drunk with y/n. "Draco, why are you closed off from everything?"
Y/n, always just asking straight up with no messing about.
"It's just the way it is," I said taking a seat in front of her as she stayed twirling and swaying. "You've just got to get on with it sometimes."
"Even if it drags you down?" She asked.
"Even if it drags you down.." I muttered back reluctantly, drinking more and more. So she flounced down beside me. "I know nothing about you, and I can sense you like to keep it that way but.. I just really need to know something important."
I became nervous and fidgety, what if she knows. The cabinet, the mark, my families involvement with the dark army, that I fancy her.
Fuck, yeah I do don't I.
"Okay what do you wanna know?"
"Have you ever done acid before?"
"Can't say I have y/n, doesn't it make you hallucinate weird shit though?"
No, she nodded her head. "It just makes everything you perceive slightly distorted. Gorgeous patterns and colours, it makes you feel connected spiritually."
I saw the deviance in her face and heard the unlawfulness in her voice. "Why anyways?"
"Wanna try some?"
I mulled on it for a bit, as she waited and watched on hopefully. Fussing her fingers and tugging her socks back up toward her knees. Then I blurted out a question that struck me. "What is your surname y/n? Where are you even from?"
"Selwyn... and I'm from my mothers pussy."
I dribbled fire whiskey all over my chin, she never misses a shot, ever. And she shoots to kill with her responses to pedantic questions as if it's an insult to ask such boring nonsense. "I mean- fair answer. But like who are your friends and who do you spend your spare time with?"
"I don't really keep 'friends' per se, they slow you down and distract you from ruining your life."
Fuck. Because I totally get it, I felt that one in the core of my being.
"Yeah same here, I get on with my housemates don't get me wrong but I can't see them serving me any purpose once school is- hang on.. Selwyn? Like the sacred 28 Selwyn?"
"Not anymore. Dad married a muggle, he's dead dead brown bread now though but they disowned him before that."
So she has pure-ish blood. Nice.
"So, shall we get astronomically fucked up and pretend to be friends that aren't friends?" She smirked up at me.
It doesn't matter if I think I'm ahead, she's always three more steps in front.
"Yeah, let's ruin our fucking lives.." I replied holding out my hand waiting for a pill or something. But instead she just rifled through her things and returned with a very small glass bottle that had a pipet inside. "Open wide!"
She squeezed about roughly two or three drops in to my mouth that I had to wash down with whiskey because it tasted like crap as I buckled in for the ride. It didn't take long at all for it all to catch up with us.
Y/n had taken to her bed, standing up and dancing. Every now and then her skirt would ride up and I was able to see the edges of her underwear, the fabric rubbing and biting briskly at the skin of her hips.
I'd not had sex for fucking weeks so I wasn't surprised that it stirred something inside of me. I mean, she's a girl, she's not ugly. And I'm a man with weaknesses and desires.
Ying and yang, tit for tat.
It went on that way for a while, me sat manspreading my legs and watching y/n in all her glory as she succumbed to the music and substances burning hot in her veins; just as they did mine. Pretty little kaleidoscope shapes whirled and morphed my vision in intervals and I felt so carefree.
I was warned sternly and relentlessly about drugs growing up, but fuck, they are incredibly fun.
I knew that it was a bad, bad idea to come to her dorm in the first place because we'd wind up doing shit we're not supposed to again. She had already began tossing things mindlessly around and fuck, I hated things being out of place.
So I got up and walked to her slowly just so she'd slow down for two minutes, even though I was unsure of where this was going to go. But I felt so unattached from disdain and regret that I continued until I was almost pressed body to body with her.
Y/n just stalled a little, turning to meet my stance, music still playing in the background but a weird sense of attraction between us.
When she turned her head to look up at me her smile curled slightly and the edge of her teeth buried in to the rosy flesh.
"I don't know if it's the drugs making me all emotional right now but I just feel like I really want to kiss you and I don't know why. Maybe it's because your eyes are huge, it's like I can see a galaxy inside them."
"Better not then hm? Especially if it's just the drugs talking." Her eyes burned with an essence I'd not observed before, like if I looked in to them deep enough all of my troubles would sink away in to them.
"But in theory.. Even if we weren't on drugs right now I think I'd probably like to still kiss you anyway.." y/n counter argued herself, unsure of her own urges right now.
Her breath hovered over my mouth, my head had dropped down and forward slowly without me even realising. Her voice had me on an invisible leash and was pulling at my neck even though her hands were beside her.
"Well in theory.. If I wasn't on drugs I don't think I'd kiss you at all. And not because I'm not sure I'd want to, but because then I'd know for sure that I definitely did."
Her whisper dropped with her eyes as they locked on to my lips, hers slightly moistened by the nervous lick she just gave them in anticipation. "I suppose it's a good thing you're on drugs then?"
"Yeah," I whispered back, my hand landing around her voice box softly. "I think it is."
Β
Y/n was right, the acid had heightened my senses. I could not only taste the cherry flavour of her mouth but it was like I could feel it too.
Her hair seemed softer as my unoccupied fingertips burrowed gently in to her hair line. "I'm slightly scared of you," I admitted as our lips separated.
"Oh," her whiskey husked voice answered. "You ought be."