The Second Time Around- Rose Weil
You know that feeling, the one where you know something in your life is just... missing, but you can't seem to pinpoint exactly what said thing is? Why is it that it's so difficult to figure out? I have just about everything I could possibly want in life, well, except money. Wait, no. That's not entirely true either. I don't have love, or at least the kind of love that makes your heart skip a beat, the type of love that makes your palms all sweaty while you blush uncontrollably. I have a love, but nothing like that. At this point, I don't even know if I can call it that. Maybe that feeling isn't too difficult to pinpoint after all.
My girlfriend and I have been together since we were both 17 years old, making the both of us 22 now. Our relationship used to be perfect. We were so unbelievably in love, but the past year, well the same can't be said. It' noticeable to just about anyone that knows us that we are falling out of love, and have been for a while. At this point, for me at least, I stay more so for that sense of familiarity. We've known each other forever, and at one point, we were each others' safe space, and even though I don't romantically love her anymore, I will always love her as a friend. I worry that if I were to break things off between us, we would lose that friendship. But then again, the longer we stay in this relationship, the more we will come to dislike each other. God this is complicated, I need a drink.
Getting up off the couch after my sulking, I walk through our small apartment into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, and a glass. actually, fuck it, no glass tonight. Deciding I also need some fresh air, I grab the bottle and my phone, and head out to our little balcony that looks out over the city. This was a view I always wanted to have, even if it wasn't the best view of the city, it's better that none. As I lean on the balcony edge, getting ready to open the bottle of wine, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. When I go to grab it, I already knew it was going to be my girlfriend, but what I didn't expect was what was said in the text.
"Hey, uhm so I know this is shitty to do but we both knew this was coming. It's time to end things. Neither of us have been happy for a while, and it's for the best. I came home a little before you and packed a bag, so I'll be staying at a friends for a little while. Since I am the one who's name is on the apartment lease, it's only fair that I keep it, but I'll give you a month to find a place. Sorry."
Well fuck...don't think one bottle of wine will be enough after this one. Putting my phone down, I take a minute and just space out while looking up to the few visible stars. I knew this was coming, but like this??? I thought we could be a whole hell of a lot more civil than this. And she's kicking me out? I pay most of the bills here, how is that even fair. Did I mean so little to her at this point that she really just doesn't care? Snapping out of my thought and staring at the unopened bottle of wine, I decide I need to just go out to a bar at this point and drown whatever feeling this is. Deciding it's best that I probably don't wear my waitress uniform to the bar I go into our, no, her room and pick out a matching black pant suit with a white lace corset like top, and a pair of back heals.
Small time skip to the bar~
Getting out of the cab, I step out onto the sidewalk in front of a bar that I have never been to before, but hey, lessens the chances of getting recognized by a friend, right? Walking into the bar, I immediately smell the alcohol, and the music is blaring. It isn't what I expected but over all it seems like a nice place. I walk over to the bar, and take a seat away from most people and immediately order a shot. Will I regret my decisions later? Oh hell yeah. Do I care? absolutely not.
After my second shot, a group of very attractive women come in, all middle aged, but one stands out the most, and not just because of the way she is dressed. She is absolutely beautiful with her long, messy curly hair, and her very...unique yet somehow fitting fashion choices, not to mention her beautiful brown eyes. Is that an Irish accent I hear? I realize I've been staring a little to long, and instead order another shot before I embarrass myself further. They all come up and take the reaming seats next to me, and the bartender already knows what they want, and begins to make it. Seems like their regulars I suppose.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the curly haired blond looking at me, and her friends begin to catch on and tease her. They keep doing so until the tall blond walks over to me. "well shit" I think to myself as she begins to introduce herself, "Hi." Holy shit her voice. "Im Lou, whats your name?" It takes me a second before the question processes in my mind. "Oh, uh, I'm y/n." Fuck why does she make me nervous. Once again I can see the curly blond looking over at us, but she begins to blush and looks away. "Well y/n, how would you like to join my friends and I over there. It surly can't be fun sitting over here all alone, now can it?" An excuse to be next to the other blond woman? Oh fuck yeah. Wait, I just ended a relationship, well I didn't end it but...why not. "Sure, why not." I say with a smile.
We walk over and she introduces me to all of the woman. "And this would be Rose" "H-hi y/n, it's nice to meet you." She says. It's then that I figure out that she does have an Irish accent. "Well, it's lovely to meet you too Rose. Lovely to meet all of you." "well," Debbie begins "what are you doing drinking all alone tonight." Just as im about to respond I see the last person I actually wanted to see here tonight. Except she isn't alone. I zone out, forgetting that Debbie asked me a question and watch my now ex kiss someone who she said was just a coworker. Instead of crying I don't feel anything. Maybe it's the drinks.
"Hey" Rose says as she lightly touches my shoulder. "You okay, you spaced out." They all begin to follow my line of sight and see what I see. They look back and give me questioning glances. "Oh uh, sorry thats um...my girlfriend just broke up with me so I decided to come her, but I guess she had the same idea." I say as I look away and into Roses eyes. "Is that her?" Lou says gently, yet somehow...still aggressive? "Yeah, that her and a coworker, or so I thought." Constance jumps in this time "Who gave that bitch the audacity." I chuckle a little before taking a deep breathe. "God I need another shot."
After that we all just drink and talk, I layed off the shots a bit because I didn't want to get too drunk at this point. Just as Tammy had walked off to talk to someone else, Rose came up next to me and sat down. At first we were making small talk, just getting to know each other better, which is how I came to find out about her being a fashion designer. "Your joking! Now that is awesome. Maybe I'll check out some of your work later." after I said that Rose stuttered out a thank you while blushing. A strand of hair fell in front of her face, but before she could touch it, I reached over and tucked it behind her ear. The two of us made eye contact, and after a moment she began to blush again and look away, but when she did, I notice her expression change.
Looking in the same direction as her, I see my ex staring at us. Of course she has to ruin the moment. actually, no, I wont let her. I reach over and hook my fingers under Rose's chin to make her face me. "You're beautiful Rose." I say almost in a whisper. "As are you darling." Once again our eyes connect, but this time instead of looking away, her eyes dart back and forth from my eyes to my lips. Taking a chance, I begin to lean in slowly, and stop when our lips are but a centimetre apart. I half expected her to pull away, but instead she closes the gap, and our lips dance in a slow and passionate kiss. At that exact moment, everything in the world just fades away. It's only her and I. Once the need for air becomes apparent we pull away, and rest our foreheads together softly giggling."Well, I definitely did not expect that to happen tonight." I say once our laughter dies down a little.
We both sit back up, but when my eyes meet hers she seems nervous. "Y-you don't regret it do you? I am so sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomf-" In the middle of her rambling I get up and stand between her legs and pull her in for another kiss. This one much shorter, but just as passionate. "I wouldn't have kissed back if I didn't want to, now I would I" I say once I pull away. "I suppose not." Rose says softly, barely above a whisper.I look over Rose's shoulder when I feel someones eyes on me, only to once again be met with my ex watching me, but this time with watery eyes. I look back at Rose and smile, kissing her one more time. "It's getting late, I should go back home." Only then I remember, it's not my home anymore. Well shit. Rose notices my change in mood and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me to be closer to her. Without any thought I wrap my arms around her waist, and softly run my hands up and down her back. "Whats wrong sweetheart?" I debate on whether or not I should tell her but ultimately decide I had no reason to lie. "I just realized that it's not really my home anymore. It's my ex's, and she's kicking me out at the end of the month." At the end of my sentence I rest my head on Rose's shoulder and she starts to softly play with my hair making me smile.
After a moment of silence Rose speaks up. "Well...the group is staying with Lou at her place, i'm sure she wouldn't mind another addition. You just might have to well...share a room with me. But if that makes you uncomfortable you can totally say no and I'll understan-" Once again I cut Rose off with a short kiss. "I have a feeling you could never make me uncomfortable Rose, but I don't want to impose. I can find a place." She smiles a small smile, before it turns into a smirk. "Oh god, what is going on in that beautiful mind of yours. I can see the mischief in your eyes." Suddenly she calls over Lou and explains the whole thing while I constantly say that they don't have to, but they too are stubborn, and wont take no as an answer, leading me to eventually give in.
"How about the two of us head back to Lou's and then tomorrow we'll go by and pack up your stuff?" Rose says while pulling me back into her embrace. "Yeah" I say softly "That sounds like a plan." Once again the two of us meet each other in the middle and share a long, soft kiss. Once we pull apart we all say goodbye to the girls, and begin to walk out. Before we reach the doors, im pulled back by a firm grip on my left wrist. I turn around only to be met with my ex's regretful expression. I harshly yank my hand back and continue to leave with Rose.
"Are you okay sweetheart? Did she hurt your wrist?" Rose says once we get into the taxi as she begins to inspect the wrist that was grabbed. I chuckle softly and lean my head on her shoulder. "Im okay, she didn't hurt me." She wraps her arm around my waist and pulls my body closer to hers while resting her head on top of mine. The rest of the ride is filled with a comfortable silence, but my mind is racing. "Am I really going to a random woman's place and staying there? Did I really just agree to go home with a woman I just met and kissed a few times? Where the hell did my common sense go? Oh yeah, alcohol. Fun thing, isn't it? Holy shit, possibly one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen kissed me. Oh my god oh my god" In the middle of my inner dialog, Im pulled out of my thoughts once Rose tells me that we're at Lou's. As we're trying to talk to the door and inside we can't stop laughing while trying to walk when we lean against each other.
Once we finally make it inside we head to the kitchen and each drink some water before heading into Rose's room. "Would you like something more comfortable to wear? I have some extra clothes that'll fit you?" She says as I sit at the end of the bed. "Yes please, while this outfit may be cute, it is becoming increasingly difficult to breathe." I say in a laugh. Rose walks into her closet and hand me a pair of satin pajamas showing me where the bathroom is so I can change. During this time, my mind begins to wander again. "God I don't think I've ever felt like this around someone, especially not this fast...wait, tell me I am not falling for someone I just met."
I walk back into the bedroom and am met with Rose already laying in bed while reading a poetry book. When she hears me enter she looks up over her glasses and smiles. Heart=melted. "Come on love, I can read to you if you'd like." She says while opening her arms. "I'd love that" I say softly while crawling on the bed and snuggling into her side. Once again she wraps her arm around my waist and begins rubbing imaginary shapes on my side. She begins reading poetry, and after a while I slowly begin to nod off. She seems to notice and says "It's alright love, go to sleep." I kiss the exposed part of her chest and whisper a goodnight in return. The last thought before I fall asleep being "Maybe love is lovelier the second time around."
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Sorry for how many times I used the damn word softly, my brain isn't working and that is quite literally the only word I could think of. Also sorry for any mistakes