Marlene
Marlene sighs as she wakes up in the morning, not wanting to leave her bed. She doesn’t want to think about Dorcas, or even think about all the things she likes about her. She doesn’t want to think about how she has to eventually tell her friends that she’s a lesbian. Marlene absolutely does not want to keep pretending that she’s someone she’s not, pretending that she is interested in conversation about boys or sex with them.
To be very clear, Marlene doesn’t feel unhappy with herself or her life. She wishes things in her life weren’t so complicated, yes. But, she doesn’t wish that she was any different. She isn’t ashamed of herself or her sexuality, and she does recognize that mentality as something to be thankful for. Marlene just wishes other people were different, that she didn’t have to be afraid to love girls, or that boys could love other boys, or really just wishing that people could freely love whoever, however they want.
“Marls,” Lily whispers from outside her bed, interrupting her thoughts, “Come walk with us to breakfast.”
Marlene groans, “Go without me.”
Lily laughs, “No way. I’ll wait for you, take your time.”
Marlene slowly sits up in bed, and can’t help but smile at Lily’s ability to be so considerate. Even though Lily and Mary have been friends since childhood, Lily was always able to make sure Marlene was never excluded. Because of Lily, Marlene wasn’t scared to talk too loud, or to share her opinions on things that mattered to her. And because of Mary, she wasn’t afraid to compliment herself, or to think highly of her own accomplishments. For the first time in her life, Marlene felt like she had a place with people her age.
Really, all her friends were able to help her in their own ways. Christ, Marlene really just loves them all.
“Chop, chop!” Mary jokingly claps her hands quickly as Marlene finally goes into the bathroom to get ready. And they’re still waiting there when she’s done, no matter how long it takes. To breakfast, the three of them walk, making light conversation and laughing all the way to their table.
It’s not long before they’re joined by Remus, Srius, and Peter. Remus and Sirius force apart Lily and Mary, sitting between the two of them. Meanwhile, Peter takes his seat by Marlene, politely saying good morning to everyone. If anybody is surprised with Mary and Lily being there, they don’t ask, but they do seem way more excited.
“Where’s James?” Marlene asks Peter distractedly, looking between the Slytherin tables and the Great Hall entrance.
Sirius laughs, “Merlin, you two really aren’t as slick as you think you are.”
Mary widens her eyes and playfully slaps his arm, “That’s what I’ve been saying! Lily, haven’t I been saying the same thing!”
Sirius gasps, “I talk to Remus all the time about it!”
Both Lily and Remus sigh and roll their eyes, ignoring them and continuing on with their own conversation. Marlene snickers at the realization that they're all basically mirrors of each other, “They’re the same person, Pete. Same person, just different genders.”
Peter grins, “You’re not excluded in that sentiment either. You and James are literally the same person.”
Marlene looks at him skeptically, “I refuse to believe that.”
Peter shakes his head, “You both have an unhealthy obsession with Quidditch, both have an exceptional love for your parents, Gryffindors, both of you love to talk, both of you love to solve every issue, both-”
Both are infatuated with a Slytherin that seems to hate their guts. Oh, shit. They are the same person, aren’t they?
“Okay, Peter,” Marlene interrupts, nodding her head. “I definitely do see it now.”
Peter laughs with her, “How did you not see it before?”
James suddenly joins them, squeezing his way between her and Peter - who says something to him that Marlene isn’t able to catch. Either way, Peter gets asked a question by Remus, so that’s where his attention is held.
James suddenly looks at Marlene, and she can see the excitement dancing in his eyes. “I am extremely confident in today.”
Marlene raises her eyebrows, “Today?”
“Yes,” he says simply. “Wish me luck.”
“As if you need it.” Marlene grins and shoves him slightly. “Tell me how it goes.”
Maybe it’s the way James is practically dripping with confidence, but Marlene also has high hopes for her day ahead. As she watches Dorcas from across the Great Hall, she drops her gaze to her hands. Very lovely hands, and honestly Marlene wasn’t even sure hands - of all things - were even remotely lovely before Dorcas came into the picture. But they’re there, slender and decorated with several silver rings. The kinds of rings vary every single day, except for the one ring on her right pinky, the one that’s a snitch.
A Snitch. It’s not the typical golden snitch, it’s silver instead to match the other rings, but it’s undeniably one. She smiles slightly just thinking of her having a special attachment to a ring, one that she wears every single day.
Marlene puts two and two together just a few hours later. It’s a sinking feeling that hits her in the middle of her Transfiguration lesson. It’s simple, and Marlene wants to hit her head on the desk when she realizes how obvious it is.
Regulus Black and Dorcas Meadowes are fucking dating. It makes her heart feel so heavy that it practically falls into the pit of her stomach. Regulus is a seeker, who’s main purpose in Quidditch is to catch the bloody Snitch. And it just so happens that the only ring Dorcas constantly keeps on is the one with the silver snitch.
There’s a slight chance that it’s all just a coincidence, but they are pretty close. Hanging off each other, the person that they each always choose to sit by. They’re always walking together, Marlene has also noticed.
Poor James.
Marlene finds that it’s actually perfect, whenever Marlene begins to really think about it. This is what they needed, the confirmation before they got in too deep. No heavy conversations were made between her and Dorcas, so that’s fine. Peachy. She can move on again, just like she did with Mary, just like she did with every other pointless crush.
Why does it already seem so much more different than the others? Something in Marlene is already finding this extremely difficult, some kind of pulling force that she never felt with any other girl.
“You okay?” Mary nudges her shoulder softly, as they walk together toward their dorm.
Marlene bites her cheek, “Yeah. Just doing some thinking.”
“You know we’re just messing around with you and James, right?” Mary’s eyebrows are drawn in genuine concern.
Marlene smiles, “Yes, Mary, I know. Don’t fret.”
Mary nods, “Just wanted to make sure. If you don’t like it, then let me know, and we’ll stop.”
“Good luck getting Sirius to agree to that,” Marlene replies lightheartedly. To be honest, it doesn’t really bother Marlene all that much. She loves James - obviously platonically - and maybe it’s for the best if people think it's a different kind of love. A cover of sorts, just until Marlene feels ready enough to tell them all that she’s a lesbian.
Mary scoffs, “Oh, he’ll listen to me, alright.”
“Oh?” Marlene nudges Mary repeatedly, her eyebrows rising questioningly. “Is that so?”
Mary glares at her, “God, no. Not like that. We learned our lesson.”
Marlene laughs, then shakes her head. “Well, no. It doesn’t bother me.”
That evening, Marlene sits in the common room, once again waiting for James. Well, hoping that he’ll somehow hear her telepathically screaming at him to come downstairs. She’s about five seconds away from running upstairs to his dorm when finally, Peter and Remus walk in, many books in their hands.
“Hello, Marlene!” Peter grins at her as he moves the books from his arms, onto the table in front of her.
“Hello, hello.” Marlene quickly nods at both of them, “Can one of you do me a huge favor? Please?”
Remus grins brightly, “Anything for you, Marls.”
Marlene puts on the sweetest grin she can muster, maybe just possibly exaggerating it a bit. “Could one of you please go upstairs and get James for me? Pretty please?”
Peter grins as he jogs upstairs to fulfill her request. Neither of them asks any questions, or prod too much into her business, which Marlene highly appreciates. It’s not like she’d tell them either way, more than likely she’d probably just flip them off and ignore all of their questions. But, the fact that they don’t tease them, or try to be nosy really does mean a lot.
James suddenly comes running down the stairs, slightly tripping over his feet when he gets close to the bottom. “Miss me already, Mars?”
Marlene rolls her eyes, and watches as Remus excuses himself to go upstairs. She waits until the door closes before beckoning James to sit on the couch with her. “I think I’ve made a realization.”
James nods, “Alright, let me hear it.”
Marlene sighs, not wanting to break any bad news to James. She and James really are alike, fueled and driven by their heart and emotions. So, she knows that there’s a chance he’ll take it hard, just a bit hurt by his bad luck with love. “I think… I think Dorcas and Regulus might be dating.”
James’ eyebrows furrow, “What? Sorry, repeat that.”
“Dorcas and Regulus might be dating.” Marlene tells him all the details supporting her theory, scrambling a bit, because it does seem a bit far stretched the more she attempts to explain it. And for a moment, she thinks she may have this all wrong.
That is, until James groans, throwing his head back. “That actually makes so much sense. You see, the only piece of jewelry Regulus wears is, apparently, a matching ring. A little Snitch, right on his pinky finger.”
Marlene groans, resting her forehead on James’ shoulder. “You’re kidding.”
“Wish I was,” James grumbles angrily.
Marlene thinks for a moment, “Well, maybe you could just ask him.”
James scoffs, “No way. We just had our first conversation, by the way, and I totally blew it.”
“Impossible,” Marlene counters. “I honestly highly doubt that.”
James grimaces, “Let’s see, I laughed too hard at something he said that apparently wasn’t a joke, then I called him pretty, then called him not pretty at all, then said he was extremely pretty, and then he called me an idiot. All within, like, one minute of speaking with him.”
Marlene tries to stifle her laughter in James’ shoulder, but she just can’t hold it back. “I take it back, that sounds more like something you would do.”
“Oi!” James lightly slaps the side of Marlene’s head. “I’ll have you know, I am incredibly smooth. I just panicked at that moment. He is insanely pretty, you know.”
“Smooth?” Marlene scoffs, ever so skeptical. “You know, I just wish that I could at least talk to Dorcas, learn something about her. You two at least sit next to each other, but I just have to wait for the fucking stars to align.”
James hums, “I have a solution to that, actually.”
“Really? How?”
James sighs dreamily, “Because I’m just absolutely amazing.”
Marlene rolls her eyes, even if he can’t even see it with her forehead still out of his view. “What exactly is this solution?”
“What would you think,” James whispers, “if I told you I had a map that displayed everyone’s location at Hogwarts?”
Marlene lifts her head to look at James, her eyes narrowing. “I’d think you were full of shit.”
James grins, some kind of mischievous glimmer in his eye - which is never a good sign to see when it comes to James. “Well, I’ll show you tomorrow.”
Marlene opens her mouth in protest, “Oh, so you are full of shit!”
“I am a man of honor, Marlene.” James genuinely looks very offended at being accused of lying about this. “I have absolutely no reason to lie.”
“You so are! If you weren’t bullshitting me, then you’d immediately show me this map.”
James scoffs, “I can’t go get it now, Mars. They’d kill me if they knew I was showing you. All three of them. They’d throw me out to the wolves.” James gets a kick out of this for whatever reason, trying his hardest to conceal his threatening laughter.
“Well, I still believe you're lying.” Marlene crosses her arms over her chest. “Plus, there’s no way a bunch of sixteen year olds made something so magically advanced.”
“You are so right. We were actually around twelve.” James laughs some more. Marlene loves James’ laugh, it’s always full of so much joy, and his laugh never fails to make Marlene laugh right along with him.
Marlene shoves his arm slightly, “Show me.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“Later.”
“Pretty please?”
“Later.”
Marlene groans, already over the continuous back and forth. “James. Just show me. I promise I’m not going to tell anyone.”
James thinks it over, and Marlene can see him balancing all of his different decisions in his mind. She can tell the moment he finalizes it in his mind, but that’s easy to notice when he dramatically sighs and looks up to the sky. “ Fine, I’ll go grab it. But if they kill me, I’m bringing you down with me.”
“So dramatic,” Marlene mutters under her breath as James disappears upstairs.
He comes down holding an open piece of parchment, “I was given permission to show you, so long as I didn’t give you the password.” James sits next to her, and Marlene can hardly believe what she’s seeing. This truly is extraordinary, and she’s sure that James knows how good of a wizard you have to be to do something like this.
But it never hurts to feed someone’s ego, just a little bit. Especially with something as extraordinary like this. “Twelve?!”
“Twelve.” James repeats. Marlene watches as people move around, she sees the prefects roaming around the corridors, trying to catch first-years who are outside after curfew. She sees Filch walking by the Great Hall, Mrs. Norris is obviously shown right by his side.
“Wow,” Marlene breathes. “This is… wow.”
“I know,” he says proudly. He looks down at the map like it's his child, and honestly Marlene doesn’t even blame him. “Took forever too, but all four of us helped out with different things. All Moony’s idea though, he gets all the credit.”
Marlene nods along, looking for Dorcas’ name, just a tad disappointed to see it’s in the dungeons, even if that’s the most obvious place she’d be this late at night. But still, if James lets Marlene use it on occasion, she can find an opportunity to just talk to Dorcas.
“Regulus is alone,” Marlene points out, still looking at everything displayed all over the map. Such a wonderful, advanced piece of magic.
James does peer over to look at his location, but doesn’t do anything. “Think I’ll just let him be.”
Marlene looks up at him, “Really? That’s a first.”
James rolls his eyes, but not exactly unkindly, “Exactly why I’m doing it. Plus, if they are dating, I don’t want to get my hopes up with him.”
Marlene studies him for a moment, “Aw,” she coos. “James Potter, all grown up.”
James glares at her, but eventually cracks a small grin. “Hardly.”
“Honestly, James, you have matured quite a bit.”
“I really didn’t.” he sighs. “I was just that childish back then, so now my basic decency is seen as something more. I don’t like that.”
Marlene nods, “You’re right. It is basic shit. But it’s the bare minimum that some boys still don’t have. So, no, you don’t get a big prize for being a good person. But, you do get a little bit of credit for not being a total arse as a teenaged boy. You still grew, and learned from past mistakes. That says something, James.”
James shakes his head, “Maybe.”
“Lily forgave you,” Marlene points out. “I think it’s about time that you forgive yourself.”
James bites the side of his cheek, before nodding slightly. “I think I’m going to sleep on that. Night, Mars.”
“Night, James.” She hands him the map, and they both walk to their separate rooms.
“Lovee you, Marlss,” he sing-songs as he walks up the stairs.