Marlene
When Marlene McKinnon was growing up, her parents were her best friends, her only friends actually. The kids in her neighborhood loved to pick on Marlene, always seeming to find flaws that Marlene herself never even noticed.
Because of this, Marlene’s wonderful mum decided to school her at home, the two of them growing closer each day. Marlene remembers her dad would come home from work, and the three of them would sometimes listen to music and cook dinner together. Sometimes when her mum was making dinner alone, her dad would go to the kitchen and just watch her. After a few minutes of admiration, he’d walk behind her and ask her to dance. She’d giggle like a teenager, and together they’d twirl and kiss. No music, no technique to it.
Just dancing.
Just two people deeply in love, dancing to a song that only they could hear.
Marlene knew that was what she was going to miss the most at Hogwarts. And she was petrified when she boarded the train, she hardly knew what to expect.
She expected that she’d get bullied just like she did at home. That she’d have no friends, or that she’d have a sad, lonely life at Hogwarts.
What she didn’t expect was for none of that to happen. Not even in the slightest.
Instead she immediately made two best friends, Mary Macdonald and Lily Evans. Those two were everything that she needed in a friend, they always made it clear that they weren't going anywhere, even when they’d just met. They didn’t see any of the flaws that Marlene was certain that she had, instead they complimented everything about her. They listened to every story of her childhood, all the good things that she had to tell. She never told them the bad, she never wanted them to think that she was ever having troubles.
Along with those two, she made four other close friends, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and James.
James was extremely special to Marlene, from the moment they started sharing secrets at eleven years old.
Marlene was obviously extremely upset with James for making Lily upset, and always told him to back off. Every single time James did a stupid, humiliating show of love, Marlene always made a point to tell him that one day it would blow up in his face
And one day it definitely did.
Even though Mary and Lily literally despised him for his acts, Marlene never could bring herself to do it. She felt so bad for him, losing two friends that he had, just because of his desperate longing for love.
It seemed like something Marlene would do.
It was something that she almost did do.
Sometime in her first year, Marlene came to the realization that couldn’t stop staring at her best friend, Mary MacDonald.
How could you not? She was gorgeous , Marlene knew this even at their young age of eleven. With her deep bronze skin, caramel eyes, and the beautiful curls on her head. She talked about everything as if they had meaning, and she was never afraid to stick up for Lily and Marlene. However, Marlene convinced herself that she was just in awe, or that she was surprised that she had a friend who was as beautiful as Mary.
Sometime in her second year, Marlene found that she was starting to get jealous. At the time, she was certain that she was just jealous of Mary. Envious of her ability to easily go out with boys, of her simplistic beauty, of the way people wouldn’t stop staring at her. She envied her ability to be the girl that was desired by many, something that Marlene was never able to master.
Sometime in her third year, Marlene somehow convinced herself that she was in love with Sirius Black. She just had to be. Because she’d get so angry , every single time she saw him and Mary all over each other, clinging to each other as if they were each other’s source of energy. The only reasonable answer for anger just had to be longing. But it was not Sirius that she wanted.
In the beginning of her fourth year, she’d finally realized that it wasn’t Mary that she was jealous of. She was horrifically jealous of Sirius, and his ability to kiss Mary all the time, whenever he pleased. She was horribly upset that it was him kissing Mary, and never Marlene.
She liked Mary as more than just a friend.
Marlene knew how pointless it was to like a girl like Mary, who would never like Marlene, or girls in general.
So, by winter holidays she was absolutely determined to get over her silly crush.
It was bloody difficult, but it was necessary. Godric, it took a lot for Marlene to finally get over it.
Who knows? The more Marlene thinks back on it, she doesn’t know if her crush on Mary was anything super serious. Maybe she was more upset that she could never be as public with her relationship like Sirius and MAry were, just because she was a girl who liked another girl.
But either way by summer, she only saw Mary as a friend, and was happy that she’d pushed anything other than platonic feelings behind her.
Also during that summer, Marlene was hesitant to admit it, but she was struggling. She felt like she was keeping this enormous secret regarding her liking girls, and she felt like it was eating her up inside. So, Marlene sat her parents down, and told them that she was a lesbian. Despite the amount of time her parents said they’d love her no matter what, she somehow expected them to hate her. She was terrified that they would never see her as their daughter.
That was certainly not the case. They hugged Marlene while she cried, they educated themselves on everything to know, and most important of all, they made sure that she was alright.
They loved her deeply, and that was the moment that Marlene realized just how lucky she was.
Never would she doubt that fact, ever again. She’d always make sure to recognize just how lucky she is to have parents who support her.
As of now, she’s in the middle of the Quidditch pitch of the first week of fifth year, telling James her biggest secret.
Telling a friend was terrifying to Marlene, and she never thought that she’d ever find the courage to actually do it.
Except that it’s James. He was such a good person, though he denied it and never wanted to admit it. He was always there for Marlene, never judging anything she had to say, and plus his parents are wonderful human beings.
So she told him, cried a little bit, and sat with him in his arms, holding on to every word that he was saying. He was saying he was there for her, promising that he’d never leave or judge her. He promised she’d be alright, and Marlene would hold onto that forever.
Now, she’s staring at the most gorgeous face that she thinks she’s ever seen in her entire life.
What a turn of events.
She’s perfection in every form. The way that she’s talking to her friend, using her hands to get her point across, shaking her head, as if the other person was saying the completely wrong thing. She’s maybe a few centimeters taller than Marlene, with beautiful, deep brown eyes that Marlene wants to see more of. She has long, dark brown locs with gold clips throughout.
Marlene realizes that she’s staring intently, but the girl doesn’t even notice her. That thought alone nearly kills her, she desperately wants to be seen by her, even if it’d be embarrassing to be caught in her state - post crying and in the middle of gawking.
Marlene has no clue where time goes, or what anybody else around her is saying or doing.At least not until James nudges her shoulder, souring her mood immediately at being pulled out of her daydream.
“We’re going.” James says, nudging her shoulder again. Marlene nods and has to force her eyes down towards the grass.
“Yeah,” Marlene clears her throat. “We’re going.”
As they walk away, Marlene can’t focus on anything other than the wonderful girl that she just saw. Marlene’s mind is full of her, and she doesn’t want to stop her image from leaving. She wants to see her constantly, and she just doesn’t understand how she never saw her before.
Marlene looks at James, just to notice he’s just as deep in thought as Marlene. ”I think I just fell in love.”
James sighs dreamily. “Me too, Mars.”
Marlene snaps her head towards James, suddenly defensive. “Better not be the girl that I am in love with.”
“No.” James grins, before his smile slowly falls and his eyebrows furrow. “It’s a bloke.”
Marlene raises her eyebrows, not what she expected to hear in the slightest, “Is that so?
“Yeah,” James whispers, and Marlene can practically feel the fear radiating off of him.
“If you don’t mind me asking, is it just boys?”
James shrugs, “I don’t know yet.”
Marlene thinks about it, trying to find the right thing to say. She understands that James must be fearful, probably just as Marlene was for so long before she felt content in her sexuality. “I reckon you don’t have to know, you have so much time in your life to figure it out. There’s no pressure, it’s your life either way.”
James nods thoughtfully, “Thank you, Marlene. For always being here for me.”
Marlene gives him a soft smile, knowing James hardly knows the impact that he had on her. “Thank you , James. For everything.”
“I’m proud of you, Mars.” James tells her after a few minutes of silence, instantly warming her heart.
Marlene smiles, “I’m proud of the both of us.”
When Marlene frantically runs into her dorm, Lily is sitting at a desk, already doing assigned work not due for weeks. “You okay?” Lily glances at Marlene, obviously amused at her state. She can’t stop smiling or sighing dreamily, just thinking about the past thirty minutes.
Marlene collapses on her bed, “I am perfectly fine. Better than fine, actually.”
“Where were you?” Lily asks, closing her books and swiveling her chair so she’s facing Marlene’s bed.
“Just talking to James.” Marlene answers, she gives another distracted sigh.
Mary peeks out from inside her bed, “So, are you and James… a thing?”
Marlene immediately rolls her eyes at the suggestion. It’s all she’d ever been asked ever since she and James started hanging out. “Absolutely not. I swear I’ve said that just about a million times.”
“You two are awfully close,” Mary prompts, seeing a million signs that aren’t there.
Lily groans, “Mary. Stop.”
Mary immediately quiets, but not completely. “Well, I was just saying what everyone was thinking.”
Lily glares at her, “Leave her be.”
Mary swallows any words that she was going to say, “Fine.”
“Talk about anything interesting, Marls?” Lily asks Marlene with a much happier tone than a few seconds prior, and Marlene can easily tell that she’s trying to change the subject, or rather move it away from Mary.
Marlene clears her throat, attempting to sound casual. “No, just pointless things.”
It’s not like Marlene doesn’t trust the girls, she absolutely does. But she doesn’t want to change anything right now, and she doesn’t want them to look at her any differently. It’s as if their comfort depends on her, even if it’s not necessarily her responsibility. So many things could change once they find out, and all Marlene wants is for things to stay the same. So for now, it’ll stay between her and James.
Mary hums, “I don’t see what you see in James. He’s such a prick.”
“He is not.” Marlene immediately defends. “He’s a great guy, and I think it’s about time for some forgiveness from you two.” All Marlene wants is for her best friends to be on good terms. She wishes Mary and Lily would see how much James has changed, and if only they knew how good of a person he is.
Mary snorts thinking Marlene is joking, as she shakes her head adamantly. “Absolutely not. No fucking way.”
“Well,” Lily begins, not looking as skeptical as Mary. “Remus has been saying the same thing.”
Mary immediately rolls her eyes, “Of course you’d listen to fucking Lupin.” she mutters under her breath.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Lily asks, venom in her words. Lily would go to fucking war for Remus Lupin, there’s no denying that, and nobody would dare criticize him in her presence.
Except for, apparently, Mary.
“Lils, you can’t seriously be considering this.”
“We’re going to be sixteen soon, Mary. There’s no use in holding a little mistake over him forever.”
Mary furrows her eyebrows, “A little mistake? He ruined your first years here!”
“No, he didn’t. God, I’d never let a boy ruin anything for me. Besides, it's not like I’m into him, Mary, I just think it’s a good idea for us to be on good terms.”
Marlene watches the two of them go back and forth, and she doesn’t know what exactly to do. Ever since the term started, they two have been going at it constantly. Mary and Lily are neighbors so they grew up together, all the way since they were about four years old. They’re a lot closer than Marlene is with them, but she doesn’t hold it against them. They see each other constantly during summer, but apparently something must have happened over the break to cause some ripples in their friendship.
Nothing that Marlene really feels like sorting out at the moment.
“He hasn’t even apologized!” Mary says exasperated.
“I have hardly given him the chance to.”
“Christ, whatever! Do what you please.”
Lily scoffs, “I was already planning on it.”
Mary glares at her. “I’m going to bed.”
“Good night, Mary.” Marlene tells her tentatively.
“Night, Marls.” Mary responds, a bit calmer than before.
“Night Mary.” Lily adds.
She only gets a frustrated huff as a response.
Lily stares at Mary’s bed for a moment longer before heading off to her own bed as well.
“Night Lils,” Marlene whispers.
“Night, sleep well Marlene.” she whispers back softly.
As Marlene tries to sleep, she’s brought back to the Quidditch pitch staring at the beautiful face that she saw. She savors every moment, looking at her soft eyes, and wishes that she could see them up close. She’s looking at her lips, wishing she would have paid more attention to them while she was there.
She feels dizzy just thinking about everything on the outside, what happens when she gets to know everything about her in general? If that even gets to happen.
Merlin, what has she gotten herself into this time?