Chapter 14
REGULUS AND REMUS CHAT
18:33
hey
remus hey
how are u??
goodgood
James just left so expect him back soon
how are u??
fanks ill let sirius know they're having a bonding movie night cos they're both clingy bitches hfsdcj
and im good finishing up me hw
of course they are
what homework?
charms
finished up all urs?
kinda
dorcas is doing the rest of my arithmacy homework for revision for newts
of course they are
she seems like the type to read non-fiction
THEY DO
OMG
ITS LITERALLY ALL SHE READS
OMG I AM A MASTERMIND HGDKJNFM
HOW THO
NON FICTION SUCKSS
FRFR
I KEEP TRYING TO SAY THAT TO HER
BUT THEY NEVER LISTEN OR ANSWER THE QUESTION
UGHHHH
THAT SUCKSSSS
WHY DOESNT SHE READ LIKE CLASSIC BOOKS OR SUM
FRRR THEY ARE JUST AS EDUCATIONAL
IF NOT MORE
COS IT EXPANDS UR VOCABULARY AND SHIT
E X A C T L Y
IT DOES SO MUCH THAT PPL ARENT EVEN AWARE OF ITS SO GOOD
OMG I FR LOVE U
U ARE MY BESTIE
I LOVE U TOO OMG JAMES WAS RIGHT
WE ARE MEANT TO BE BESTIES
OFCCC
BET IT PAINED U TO SAY JAMES WAS RIGHT THO
YEAH :(
HATE SAYING THE HIMBO WAS RIGHT
OMG HE IS A HIMBO
EBHDSJFNKSD,
MUST BE WHY BARTY AND JAMES ARE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
OR WHTV THE SAYING IS
YESSSSS
THEY ARE BOTH HIMBOS.
THEY J ARE
OH GOD REM HOW DID WE END UP WITH DUMBASSES
WE ARE CLEARLY DESTINES /J
I HAVE NO CLUE
U WERE RIGHT INFRONT OF ME THE WHOLE TIME I J COULDNY SEE U UNTIL NOW
WASTED SO MUCH TIME :(
SO MUCH TIME :(
WE COULDVE HAD OUR OWN LIBRARY RN IN THE SCOTTISH COUNTRYSIDE
OH THE LIFE WE COULDVE HAD
WE WILL HAVE TO RUN AWAY IN THE NIGHT REG
PACK ALL OF OUR STUFF AND NEVER LOOK BACK /J
LETS PACK RN
WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY BY MIDNIGHT
DRIVING THRU SCOTLAND
SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM MY DEAR
BARTY AND JAMES CHAT:
19:00
heyyyy
heyyyy
u with sirius?
out to get our snacks rn ofc
with ev and reg?
yes but also dorks and dora
regs texting ur tree bestie rn
WHAT
are they getting along?
YES
like so well
apparently they're joking abt running away to own a library in the Scottish countryside
HOW DARE MOONY
he better not run away and leave me with his husband ALONE
I-
thats ur biggest issue
yes
not the fact that we are in the Scottish countryside and they could in fact buy a library very easily in hogsmeade
....
I did not think about that
ofc not u dumbass
OI STOP BEING MEAN
I am not being mean
are so
are npt
are so
are not
ARE SO
fineeeee
but only a lil bit
fanks for admitting it babe
anyways
I am back rn so I will talk to u soon x
awww okay
have a good best friend-brother-husband bonding night
will dooo
have fun
you too x
"Prongssss what are we going to watch?" Sirius says with a mouth full of popcorn.
"I don't know, what do you wanna watch?" James grabbed an extra piece of popcorn and threw it at Sirius' mouth, which he managed to catch and chew.
"Okay, right, narrow it down. Horror, rom com or comedy
"Oh fuck you, you know those are my favourites!"
"Horror then rom com?"
James grinned. "Of course. Okay The shining or The conjuring?"
"What? The shining is basically a comedy, Prongs, The conjuring."
"It is not a comedy!"
"Why do I laugh then?" Sirius crosses her arms over their chest jokingly.
"Because you're the product of incest."
"Oh you little shit!"
That started a pillow fight, of course. James didn't realise how much he had missed Sirius until now. They were basically soulmates and as Moony said, shared the same magic. So James was literally filled with happiness getting to be with him properly again. She was one of James' favourite people and they always had fun together no matter what.
The pillow fight finally ended when the two of them headbutted trying to grab the same pillow, both of them groaning in pain. It fucking hurt!
"Oh fuck, Prongs we're so dumb. Please I need rest my head might never regain its prettiness until."
"Your head never had prettiness in the first place, Pads."
"I swear to god I will headbutt you on purpose this time if you keep being a little shit."
"Totally. Anyways, lets put on this godamn movie."
DORCAS AND MARLENE CHAT
19:59
{dorcas}: heyyy <3
{marlene}: heyyyy <3
{dorcas}: just here to say that slytherin is going to DESTROY u lot in the upcoming match
{marlene}: nope.
{marlene}: simply not true
{dorcas}: it definitely is
{dorcas}: I will not be going easy on u nor is reg
{marlene}: oh of course not
{marlene}: nor will I, James, sirius or mary
{dorcas}: good
{marlene}: we will win you know
{dorcas}: ah lies
{dorcas}: well whatever helps u sleep at night darling
{marlene}: uno reverse
{dorcas}: oh god I love u
{dorcas}: only u would say uno reverse to that
{marlene}: ofc I am the fun one after all
{dorcas}: uh no ur not?
{marlene}: u read non fiction babe u are not the fun one
{dorcas}: how dare u
{marlene}: okay im just taking that as my win
{dorcas}: yhyh whatever
{dorcas}: wydddd
{marlene}: w the gang as sirius and James are having a bonding night
{dorcas}: what?
{dorcas}: theres not much need theyre practically inseperable
{marlene}: as much as id agree
{marlene}: James has been busier than usual so sirius has been missing him
{dorcas}: ohhhh
{dorcas}: yh okay thats fair
{malene}: what are you doing then love?
{dorcas}: with the gang
{dorcas}: had to talk pandora out of putting on despicable me
{marlene}: ah ofc
{marlene}: what u watching instead then?
{dorcas}: good omens
{dorcas}: we fucking love it
{marlene}: OH MY GOD
{marlene}: FINALLY
{marlene}: that show is gold
{dorcas}: I agreeeee
{dorcas}: pandoras enthralled with the concept
{marlene}: dont blame them lily was the same
{marlene}: wait
{marlene}: quick question
{dorcas}: yeah?
{marlene}: do u think dora, Mary and lily should/will get together
{dorcas}: oh 100%
{dorcas}: do not tell anyone but dora has a massive crush on them
{marlene}: OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A RELIEF
{marlene}: dont tell anyone either but Mary and lily have a massive crush on them
{dorcas}: FUCKING HELL
{dorcas}: THIS IS BRILLIANT MARLENE
{dorcas}: WE HAVE TO GET THEM TOGETHER
{marlene}: YES YES YES YES YES YES
{marlene}: BUT NOT MAJORLY THIS HAS TO BE SUBTLE
{dorcas}: broom closet locking in?
{marlene}: oh yeah defo
"Hey, Bar?" Evan said, making Barty look up and swivel his head to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"Are you gonna ask James out?"
"What?"
"Are you?"
"Well, yeah in the near future why?"
"Well-"
"Sorry to butt in and not to be a dick, but why not now? I mean you're both clearly head over heels." Dorcas interrupted.
"I don't know, it just hasn't come up yet."
"Really? That's the only reason?" Regulus said.
"Oh fuck off, this is not an interrogation."
"It's not. But you text him all the time, you talk about him half of the time you're not texting him and you and him are both very happy when you're with each other. What's the real reason?"
"Well, I just-" Barty let out a sigh. There was literally no point lying to them and it might make him feel a little better to share. "I just don't want to mess it up. We've both been through shit, what if I fuck it up? I fuck things up so easily, you all know I do. And I have so much fucking love around me it's unreal, I just don't think the universe is going to let me have three people."
Pandora looked very much up for no debate when they turned to him. "Barty, you are not going to fuck it up, I promise you. You have two boyfriends who love you very much and all of you have been through shit and you have never fucked that up and I know for a fact you felt like that before you asked them two out. But you fucking did it anyways and it was worth it. James is sunshine personified and he does not give up, he isn't going to let you go whether you make a mistake or not. You are not going to let him go if he makes a mistake. You fucking take risks, that is who you are. And if it goes to shit that's okay but it'll be fucking amazing while you have it. You two are head over heels and both have brilliant support systems if I do say so myself. Ask him out."
It admittedly took Barty a couple of minutes to respond to that. He was just shocked. Oh god he loves Pandora so much. "But what if he says no?"
"Did you hear anything of what any of us just said? The boy's head over heels. He'll say yes, I promise." Dorcas said. "Now go fucking do it!"
"Okay! Okay! Fuck!"
"Wanna play hide and clap" The voice says on the tv before a person claps behind the mother and the match goes out.
"Fuck! Oh my god, I'm gonna have a heart attack, Sirius!" James said hiding his face in Sirius' hair. Usually she would've laughed but he was recovering from their own little shock too. "Jesus fucking christ!"
"I'm not even going to lie, that scared me, god. I've watched this so many times and it still gets me what the fuck." Sirius admitted, gripping onto James' hand like their life depended on it.
"Oh fuck, pause it please I need a fag."
"Feel ya."
Sirius paused it and James rolled two cigarettes for the two of them before Sirius let them wandlessly. Both of their phones pinged so the two gave eachother a look before going to answer.
BARTY AND JAMES CHAT
20:01
heyyy
hey :)
oi what u doing on ur phone
oh we're having a break
almost had a heart attack /j
what you watching?
the conjuring
ah cool cool
okay
omg
I have smth to ask
okayyyyy 🤨
pls continue
AHH
okay im going to ask
and then run
and throw my phone
whatever works for u babe
AHHHHH
okay
fuck
okay
will u be my bf like officially or whtv
BYE
YES
HOLY FUCK
OFC
JESUS I
OMG???
COME BACK HERE U LITTLE SHIT
"He answered yet?" Barty said, muffled because he was hiding his face in a pillow
"Yes! Several texts, Barty, come on. Look at your fucking phone!" Regulus answered trying to grab the pillow which just resulted in a tug of war.
"Okay, this is ending. Want me to read the texts and tell you?" Dorcas said, the phone in her hand.
"Yup, yes, go for it."
"Oh my god! Barty!" Dorcas screamed, looking at the phone.
"Wait what?" Evan said, before Dorcas thrust it in his face. "Fuck! Barty come look! Stop hiding!"
"What does it say first?" Barty asked, still fighting with Regulus.
"Not telling you."
"How dare you, Dorcas, you said you'd tell me!"
"I lied."
"Oh fine, fine. Fuck you all." Barty admitted defeat and looked at his phone and promptly lost the plot because holy fuck he's James' boyfriend.
JAMES AND BARTY CHAT
20:10
REALLY?!
YES OF FUCKING COURSE
OH MY GOD OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP
OKAY IM SEEING U TMR YES?
YES OFC
OH MY GOD
FUCK
HOLY FUCK
YUP
OKAY IMMA GAY PANIC ILL UH TEXT LATER
ME TOO SPEAK SOON SWEETHEART
STOP IM ALREADY GAY PANICKING JAMES
SPEAK SOON LIEBE
AHHHHHH
"James? What's going on? Why are you screaming, bruv?!"
"Look at my fucking phone, oh my god Sirius I am going to die, this is how I'm going to die."
"What the fuck?! Oh my god this is amazing, Prongs! You're taken, oh my god!"
"I'm his boyfriend! Sirius I'm his boyfriend! He asked me! I am never getting over this what the fuck!"
"Holy shit, Prongs, oh my god!"