Chapter 2
07:35 the next day
Good morning Barty :)
Good morning James :)
why are you awake so EARLY
ah i actually wake up at 5
and because i do football and have practice very early
I am now at breakfast
jesus fucking christ
one thing i could never do
i need my beauty sleep
and what are you eating anywyas
"beauty sleep"
and porridge
and coffee
yES BEAUTY SLEEP JAMES
oh god ur a porridge eater
how sweets ur coffee
unbearably
not even remus drinks my coffee
snd yes?? porridge is good?
NO ITS NOT IT GETS S COLD LAYERING AND IS JUST GROSS
and i thought so you seem like the type
THATS WHY YOU EAT IT WHEN YOU GET IT?
and is that an insult or a compliment?
yk what im gonna take it as a compliment
but sometimes it's TOO HOT???
and take it however you want love
YOU EAT IT ANYWAYS?? ITS LIKE DRINKING TEA TOO HOT??
and also rq are ur boyfriends okay with flirting i rlly dont wanna be a homewrecker
NO THAT IS NOT THE SAME AT ALL??
and yes i asked earlier and theyre fine with it :) We're kinda open lollll
YES IT IS??? HOW IS IT NOT THE SAME??
Im glad :) Flirt away
BECAUSE TEA IS GOOD AND PORRIDGE ISNT??
THE TEXTURE IS HORRIBLE
and yay :)
NO PORRIDGE IS WONDERFUL??
OH NO ITS NOT WOULD YOU SAY THE SAME ABT WHEETABIX?? OR RAISINS??
NO IT IS NOT
ABD YES I WOULD WHO THE FUCK EATS WHEETABIX AND/OR RAISINS???
YES IT IS.
AND ME ME I WOULD EAT WHEETABIX AND/OR RAISINS THEY FUCKING RULE
LIES ALL LIES
YOU ARE SPOUTING BULLSHIT I SAEAR TO GOD THEY ALL SUCKKK
NO YR SPOUTING BULLSHIT?? THEY SRE FUCKING BRULLAINT RAISNS ARE FUCKING FANTASTIC BEST SNACK EVER
BEST SNACK EVER?????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
HOW IN ANY WORLD ARE THEY THE BEST SNAXK EVER
UR DELUSIONAL THATS FALSE
ITS FAX MATE
IT IS THE BEST SNAXK EEVR, HEALTHY AND JUST ENOUGH AND GOOD FOR ALL AGES
ITS GOOD FOR 6 YR OLDS AND 80 YR OLDS ARE U SURE UR NOT AN 80 YR OLD??
wait how old are u??
LIESSSS AND YES I AM SURE IM NOT AN 80 YR OLD BARTY
17 in my seventh yr :) wbu
HMMMM WELL ONLY OLD PEKPLE LIKE RAISINS AND WHEETABIX AND FUCKING PORRIDGE
17 in my sixth year :)
NO BC I LIKE RAISINS AND WHEETABIX AND FUCKING PORRIDGE THEYRE THE BEST??
and that's rlly fucking cool ngl
OKOK I HWVE CLASS LETS AGREE TO DISAGREE
FINEEEEE
BUT ONLY COS I HAVE CLASS TOO
wnd it is it is
JAMES AND LILY CHAT:
12:34
Who the fuck are you texting??
Finally got a boyfriend?
Nooo he's just a friend
had a wrong number and we've just started speaking
AS FRIENDS
Sooo you haven't flirted at all?
you flirt with everything that moves potter i don't believe you
Hes flirted like ONCE
but that's it
your smiling an awful lot for just a friend
you shush
no? its my duty as ur ex crush and bestie to take the piss out of you
no its nOt
yes it is?? the same goes with remus
we just have to take the piss out of you james
it's very important
i disagree
ugh whatever
anwyays details
please
UGH FINE
i texted pads old number
and a guy responded
and dealt with my amazing drunk texts
and saw a picture of me hugging a toilet
and he flirted with you??
are you sure??
wtf
yhyh whatever
and yeah we had a fun disagreement over raisins, wheetabix and porridge today
serious or not??
not
oh good does he hate them?
yes
oh thank god finally someone with some common sense
excuse me????
THEY SUCK
i am NOT having the same argument twice in one day
fine but i'm right
and he said only 6 yr old and 80yr olds eat raisins or whatever and questioned if i was 80
ofc he did and hES RIGHT
PISS OFF no hes nOT
anyways how old is he?
17 but in sixth year
fairsfairs
how did he sober you up then
got me to give moony the hpone and told him to pour water in shot glasses
oh shit that's so smart
WHY HAVE WE NEVER DONE THAT
bc ur not smart
so fucking rude to me
UR THE EXACT SAME
shove off
no x
anyways hows mary?? together yet??
UGH NO
we kissed at the fucking part james
and then we never spoke about it
AND ITS BEEN TWO DAYS
then you SPEAK TO HER
you cant just make her start the conversation
i cant believe i'm gonna say this
but grow some balls Evans and go get ur girl
I-
DAYUM
okokok yeah okay i'll do it in a minute
yeah i'll make up an excuse for the two of u or smth
ur the best okay have fun texting loverboy
ugh have fun getting with lovergirl
good luck
thanks Potter
JAMES AND BARTY CHAT:
12:40
Helloooooo
helloooo
what have you been doing then
getting a friend to get with her bestie who she has a HUGE crush on
im hoping it goes well
DETAILS OMG
i hope it goes well too
BUT DETAILS
OKAYOKAY
so theyve been best friends since they were fucking 11 yeah
soon as they met it was like a bulb switched on and they couldn't turn it off
just immediate best friends
and my bestie had been saying about her liking her for AGES yeah constantly been hearing her pine
not like i was any better in the past but not rn
and THEY KISSED AT THE PARTY
OMGGGGGG JESUS
PLS SAY THE SPOKE AFTER
nope not a single word
told her to grow some balls and not expect the other girl to start the convo
shes off now
AHHHHH
YOU HAVE TO UPDATE ME
PLEASE OMG
AHHHHH
also u TOLD UR BSF THAT??
we're like that dw
i had an EMBARRASSING crush on her from first year to early fourth
and she's never letting me forget abt it
so we take the piss a lot it's like 99% of our friendship
and taking the piss abt eachothers love life's is about 57% of that
very specific numbers
i need a nickname for you omg
but that's a good friendship im glad u lot moved passed it
it's kinda like me and Dorcas' friendships
NEVER JAD A CRUSH ON HER OMG
but we do take the piss so much
kinda annoys the rest of them but oh well
well i need a nickname for YOU
and dayummm
bet ur rlly loud abt it too
and u seem like a gossip so i suppose that's part of it
i mean true but like rude
and yknow what i'm just gonna call u jay or smth
till i figure out a new one
jay fits
my mates call me prongs if u want that one
why PRONGS?!?!
and nah i want to have my own nickname yk
might use prongs but it sounds STUPID
OKAYOKAY OUCH
well i got rlly drunk christmas 4th year (dont ask we bribed the older yrs to give us vodka anywyas)
put on some antlers and sobbed when ppl tried to take them off
prongs
abd fairs fairs i like jay
i need one for you
i think grumpy will have to work for now
RUDE.
i am nOt grumpy thankyou
and jesus christ
ofc u did
that makes sense especially with the limited knowledge i have
and ofc u do jay is great
U are grumpy?? clearly???
i would say that's rude but uve seen a lot in the past three?? two?? days
ALSO IM VERY MUCH TAKING THAT AS AN INVITATION FOR U TO GET TO KNOW ME HETTER NO TAKE BACKSIES
:))
i am NOT
except i am a little tired so i'm skipping e rest of the day :)
i have i have very traumatic
OFC UR THE TYPE OF PERSON TO SAY NO TAKE BACKSIES
BUT
im not saying no
i wanna get to know u better
:))
u ARE
and jesus christ shshshshs what are u gonna be doing then
and ofc i am??? WHAT LED YOU TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE??
and good
cos i wanna get to know you better too
:))
probably smoking weed with evan im ngl (do not snitch on me i swear to god)
and yeah i really don't know it seems very much like you
im very glad :))
ur making me jealous stop it now i wanna skive off and i HAVE IMPORTANT TESTS VEFORE CHRISTMAS BARTY (ofc i wouldnt darling)
thankyouthankyou im tkaing that as a compliment
:))
DEAL WITH IT JAY
do ur important tests or whtv boring
(hot)
it wasn't meant to be but okayyyy
:))
I DONT WANT TOOO
i feel like im getting goaded into skiving
and it's working me and moons are going up to the dorms rn
(thankyou)
how rude of you
:))
JAMES AND LILY CHAT:
13:10
SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YES SHE SAID YES
OMFG
OMFG
OMFG
OMFG
IM SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU LILS
YHATS FUCKING BRULLIANT
CELEBRATORY SMOKE?
OF FUCKING COURSE
IM ON MY WAY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND
AHHHSWHEHSHSHSHS
JAMES SHES MY GILFRIEND
OLAYLOKAY REMUS IS HERE TOO
ABD DHEJEHENDNDBD
I CANT EVEN THISNIS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT
I LNOW I KNOW I CAN BATELY BELIEVE IT MYSELF
IM SO HAPPY JAMES I SWEAR TO GOD
AFTER ALL THIS I FINALLY HAVE HER
ANF I CAN KISS HER WHEENVER
(with her permission obvs)
AHHH IM SO FUCKING HAPPY DOR YOU TOO
YOU CJA YOU CAN
(ofc bro)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OMG
OMG
OMG
OMG
OMG
IM GONNA BE TALKING ABT THIS FOR THE REST OF THE FUCKING DAY IM WARNING U NOW
I WOULD BE SUPRISED IF YOY DIDNT
AND TOU BETTER
SHES UR GIRLFRIEND FLAUNT HER
SHSBSBSHSHS
DIM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
THAMKYOU THANKYOU
IM SO HAPPY FOR ME TOO IM NGL
ALSO
IM
JERE
bout to let u innnnn
BARTY AND JAMES CHAT:
13:15
SHE SAID YES
MY FRIENDS CRUSH SAID YES
AHAHAHAHSHSBS
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
IM SO HAPPY FOR HER
KUDOS FOR HAVINT THAT CONVERSATION TOO
MUST HAVE BEEN DIFFICULTTT
IT PROBABLY WAS
AND YESSS
ME TOO
SHES OVER HERE WITH HER GIRLFRIEND HAVINT A CELEBRATORY SMOKE
ARENT U GLAD I MADE U SKIP NOW??
I AM I AM THANKYOU SWEETHEART
SHSMSSNETABSHE
OMG
JDJSDHEN
AHHHH
DO U HAVE A LIKE SOFT SPOT FOR SWEETHEART OR SUM HOWVER U WORD IT IDK
YES YES I DO
OF COURSE YOU DO
REG AND BARTY CHAT:
13:22
REGGGGGG
reggg
reg
regulusss
reggie
babyyyy
regggg
what?
Im in class barty
okay you know the guy i've been texting
yhyh whatever
HE CALLED ME SWEETHEART
oh for fucks sake
amazing love now i have CLASS
tell evan this ur with him
i have
he was very clearly bored :(
just because i only started talking to him three days ago does not mean this isn't rlly cool
You don't even know the guys age
yes i do he's 17
in seventh yr
OKAY BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE HIM 17 BARTY
HE COULD BE A CATFISH
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE
JESUS CHEUST IM SURE HIS FRIEND WAS BETTR THAN THIS
ANDDD I GOT APICTURE OF HIM HUGGING A TOILET BUT STILL
omfg u give me a hEADACHE
safe some for me for later and just idk flirt with ur lover boy
ofc :)
give evan attention and stop texting me when im IN CLASS
fine fine and i aM giving him attention
i doubt that.
fuck yourself.
no thanks. x