The chestnut tree
I woke up the next day feeling a little guilty. It could be because I dreamed about arguing with my brother practically all night and even hit him a few times in my dreams, which I never did and didn't want to do. Another reason could be, that it was already seven o'clock in the morning again, and I felt like I was getting up too late - and as I woke up, going over the previous day's events in my head, I realized one more thing that made me jump up out of bed immediately - I promised to that Bathilda's boy I'd help him research the Deathly Hallows.
Within a quarter of an hour, I was bathed, dressed loosely, and sat with sweetened black coffee at my table by the open window. The tree that grew in front of my window was already starting to come in, and when I opened the window, several wet rotten leaves fell on my desk. I tossed them down from the table and fetched all the books, documents, prints, and manuscripts that I could think of that could lead me to a single mention of the Deathly Hallows.
It took me half an hour to put everything necessary on the table, after which I began to find and highlight texts, pages and prints. I brought a blank nondescript map and noted the locations with dates where the Deathly Hallows were encountered. I tried to make everything as clear as possible - I needed to make up for last night somehow, and if Gellert is interested in the Deathly Hallows in detail, something figurative and simple will definitely not be enough for him and won't help him at all. Plus I was glad I had a reason not to go down and meet Abe - I was not ready for a conversation with him, and I knew it would just turn into another fight, which I could not afford now because I had to focus.
Around twelve o'clock, while I was deeply buried in the research, there was a knock on the door - light one, but repetitive, and I said with a slight grunt: "Come in."
It was Ariana, she asked me if I was hungry. I grunted again and sent her away with a smile. I did not want to be mean to her - she did nothing wrong. It was not her fault at all, that Aberfoth was causing fights all the time. I have tried to be as polite as possible and explained to her I am working on something right now. Ariana firstly asked about some details, but I just simply said it is a top secret. She returned the book she borrowed from me yesterday, smiled kindly, left the room and I locked the door. Now I really needed to concentrate. I turned on the record player lying on the coffee table next to the fireplace and listened to instrumental music. I was at once better at work, and before two o'clock I had, I should say a well-put-together history of the Deathly Hallows, all arranged by date.
I allowed myself to leave to get something to eat, heating up some pumpkin soup on the stove and eating it while listening to the music in the dining room. It was empty, I sat on my favourite chair and looked around.
The dining room no longer looked as gloomy as I remembered from last night. The curtains were drawn, allowing plenty of natural sunlight to stream into the room. I smiled when I noticed the roses outside the windows - they had been well watered from yesterday and were now blooming in the afternoon sun. The record player in the dining room played a little better than the one in my room, so after a late lunch, I just sat and enjoyed the sun reflecting right off the rose window. I closed my eyes, deeply focusing just on all tones and instruments, trying to catch every single meaning that the music could hide inside. Maybe it was a loss, the same loss as I was experiencing right now. Maybe it was rage, or a wave of anger, the same emotion that was so well-known to me nowadays. Before that accident, I believed I am a very gentle and non-erratic person. But I guess some shocking accidents can change a person very much.
There was no one sitting here to argue with me, not even Bathilda, who would be sick of the argument, and not even Ariana, who the argument was about. Neither mother nor father was here, and neither was the blond boy from yesterday. I was the only one here.
I got up from the chair a little before half past two and went to get ready for the visit - I went through all the materials I had collected once more and then changed - today it was a light blue damask shirt with long sleeves and a buttoned collar. Not a bad piece for the anticipation of the visit. I took a book, something simple and light, a novel, and sat in the living room. There I opened the door to the garden, so a lot of fresh air flowed in and the house was suddenly warmer. I stared at our orchard for a moment, my back turned to the entrance from the corridor. I let the book fall on my lap and just stared blankly in front of me, carried away by the music from the gramophone in the dining room and completely carefree. I imagined all my worries disappearing and never appearing again. I put them in envelopes in my head that I mentally sealed and burned. Suddenly everything was gone, my head was clear. Another breeze hit me, I closed my eyes. I imagined just me existing, on a padded leather couch, with my book in my lap and the large French window opened to the garden. I was in the mood to open all our french windows and build a conservatory here instead of a living room. And I could handle that. I felt the wand in my sleeve and tried to turn a few useless things into roses - I succeeded. I closed my eyes, visualized my final work - I want roses the length of the three French windows - and then waved my wand.
***
Gellert left the house just in time to arrive at Dumbledore's at three o'clock. He knocked and waited a moment, but no one came to open up the door for him. He tried the knocker - still nothing. What about the nice boy who would have been making fun of him last night and wanted to shoot him? No, he was in too much of a mood for that. So Gellert knocked again, his cold fingers lightly running over the golden knocker. He looked around and took a step back.
The roses in their garden were beautiful, blooming and the vast majority of them were a mix of pink and red, sometimes even orange in colour. The pale boy plucked one, let it rest in his palm for a moment, and then closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the rose was completely white. He tossed it next to the flower bed and knocked again with a frown. Can't even Albus' brother or sister hear it?
After a long half minute, Aberforth opened the door for him - all angry, most likely Gellert had interrupted him from his work. He slipped in uninvited and looked at the shorter boy.
"Where can I find-"
"He's over there," Aberforth snapped, pointing to the entrance to the living room. Then he slammed the dining room door behind him and the music that was playing throughout the house suddenly stopped. Gellert looked around, looking at himself in the gold-framed mirror, and made his way into the living room.
At first, he blinked and turned back—he might have mistaken the entrance and accidentally walked into the conservatory—but then he caught sight of a rosy face surrounded by auburn hair, belonging to a boy whose head lay limply thrown back against the corner of the sofa. Gellert furrowed his brows, and then took a few steps closer. The floor creaked, but the boy did not wake up. His innocent face was relaxed, his short curls flowed around his cheeks and ended below them. He had a book open on his lap, a weak romance novel with yellowing pages. The blonde boy chuckled, taking the book from the boy's hands and tossing it onto the table in front of him. Such a romantic.
"Albus?" he addressed the boy softly and kindly, sitting down in the chair in front of him. The boy wiggled, his auburn hair falling into his eyes. Gellert smiled and leaned closer.
“Um, Albus… you have invited me.”
The boy on the sofa blinked and looked around.
When he saw the blond boy, he swallowed and took a sharp breath.
"I'm sorry... I guess I had to... Fall asleep," he finished and looked around again. Gellert shrugged.
"Nothing's wrong though. Was that you?" he asked with a smile, pointing to the roses around the French windows. Albus rose from his chair, his rosy cheeks turning a little red, and he turned away from Gellert.
"I have some research prepared in my room-"
"How about some tea first? And have you made these?" Gellert asked once again, getting up from his chair as well, sitting on the sofa and glaring at Albus. He shrugged.
“When you think…” He pointed his wand at the tea set, cast a simple spell, and before long, green tea with honey was brewed. The auburn hair boy looked around the room, looking at his roses and smiling gently. It was very visible he was still pretty tired. He got to one rose garland and smiled, picking up one bloom and turning to the other boy, before Gellert got up and went towards him, grabbing the rose from Albus’ palm. He closed his eyes and again made it white, then handed it back to Albus.
***
“Excellent…” I breathed out, taking carefully the white bloom as the blonde boy turned away from me, now grabbing the prepared tea. I obediently sat down on the couch across from him, staring into his face, waiting to see what he would do next - did he want me to say anything more? Should I have been quiet? I recognized that one of my siblings had opened the door to the dining room again as the soft notes of instrumental music drifted toward me. At least it was not so awfully quiet.
Gellert smiled, setting the teacup down, only a few feet of honey left at the bottom. I smiled back, also put my mug down and looked into his eyes. I could not read much.
"About that research..."
"You're eager," he remarked, grinning at me. I blinked and tried to lighten the mood by pouring more tea.
"And that's good," he added after a moment, placing his hand over his mug, indicating that he did not want any more tea. Shrugging, I put the kettle down and poured myself a bit, immediately drinking it.
"I just wanted to help you. You know, a little compensation for yesterday's rude behaviour." Do I ever admit that I just enjoy things sometimes? Gellert frowned, cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.
"Just as compensation? Didn't you enjoy it one bit?" I must have seen it because he nodded his head and laughed. "I thought so. Already yesterday, when I told you what my research consisted of, your eyes turned a completely different colour. You were suddenly full of life as if you forgot about your brother and sister and even ignored poor Batty, who sat in the same room as us. But that's good again."
I shrugged again. "I'm bored here. I was supposed to be on a trip around the world with my friend Elphias, we already had everything ready and packed when I had to take the train back from the Leaky Cauldron to here. It pissed me off, so I'm really glad for any fun here." I lamented our never realized but long-planned adventure. Oh, what I would give to have the chance…
"Your friend isn't coming to visit you?" Gellert asked, leaning back on the couch with a curious look, his right leg draped gracefully over his knee. I shook my head.
"He would. But I don't think he wants to see my brother. Maybe I'll go to London to see Elphias, one day he wouldn't mind..."
"Why did you take the train? You could have used the portkey from the Leaky Cauldron here. You wouldn't be so tired of the journey..."
"I needed to think, to be alone. Moreover, to cry, too. To get my thoughts together. I was looking for any excuse just to be alone for a while. That is what I am looking for now too, anyway. Aberforth cannot blame his parents, so he blames me. The fate of an older sibling, " I chuckled sadly, took the teacup in my hand again, and when I found that it was already empty, I looked at its bottom and turned it over several times in my hand. At the bottom, I saw something like half a heart; it could have been a small shard or a drop. Instead of the second half, however, there was not another drop, but only a confusing pile of tea leaves. I put the cup back with a sigh, deciding not to take the tealeaf readings seriously at the moment. Gellert must have noticed.
"You believe that?" he asked handing me his cup. "So what, am I going to die?" he laughed and I took the cup. I also turned it around a few times before I was sure I was holding it in the right direction.
Then I freaked out a bit and turned the cup clockwise a few times. The leaves still remained in the same place and I shook the cup in confusion. At the bottom was the exact same symbol as the one in my cup. I swallowed hard and looked at the boy in front of me.
"Is something wrong? Is there something wrong with me?" he asked, still smiling. I shook my head and quickly set both cups down on the tray hovering over my shoulder, ready to carry the dirty dishes to the kitchen.
"Nothing. I just couldn't tell anything about it," I lied and smiled. I then took a breath, but Gellert managed to finish my sentence before I even started it.
"Yes, I'll take a look at your part of the research. Would you please bring it down here for me? I don't want to be rude and bother you in your bedroom . . ."
I went upstairs, collected all the books, papers, newspapers and maps and brought my whole collage down to him. I laid it out on the coffee table in the living room exactly as I had it set up upstairs. He watched my work with interest the whole time, walked around the table from right to left, looked over my shoulder, and let me explain all the sequences. At one point, when I attached the map casually to the wall to have more space on the table, I had the impression that he was staring at me from behind. I nervously turned around to see him standing with his hands behind his back and a slight smile on his face. His blond, slightly wavy curls outlined his face perfectly, and the black collar that was fastened around his neck only emphasized his... Special aura. I blinked.
"All right?" I asked, stepping down from the wooden stool from which I hung the map on the wall and nervously turning around the room. He nodded.
"All right," he confirmed.
"Okay, so...that's about all I was able to find and put together today. Is it...at least useful?"
At first, he just tilted his head and widened his eyes and I panicked that he was going to tell me that he already knew all this and it was useless. However, without a word he approached the map on the wall, caressed it several times with his thin spidery fingers, and then stopped them at a specific place. Looking at it, he jabbed a finger into it and inspected the area in detail.
"Albus, come here…,“ he said quietly and I willingly walked over, looking first at that place, then at him.
"Is something wrong? If you know anything else about this place, I can remake it, I-"
"No no no... No, quite the opposite... I'm absolutely sure your information is correct, something just kept coming up, but with this date and place and circumstances surrounding it, it makes everything that much bigger sense, look..." he circled another place with a thin white finger, handed me a copy of the newspaper and then pointed to a book, read me a few lines and looked at the map with a bright and passionate look, then laughed, turned around several times and took by my shoulders
"Albus, you're a genius! I have been trying to figure this out for months, going through so many books and not paying attention to the weather… Or the latitude… By the Merlin, you've got it…!"
At first, I looked around confused, but when he explained everything to me afterwards, I smiled modestly and looked down.
"I'm glad it helped you. It is an interesting topic in general, isn't it? I just… Can I ask you something?" I spoke carefully and sat back down on the sofa. Gellert nodded.
"Of course, what are you interested in?" However, he didn't look at me as he spoke, he was attaching a few more prints to the wall next to the fireplace, and as we talked, a sort of map of the plan began to emerge from it.
"Even though I've read a lot about the Deathly Hallows, and I already know quite a bit, I don't understand what the goal of your plan is - the one who has them all should become immortal - practically the master of death, can you then bypass. But I want to ask, is that your goal? Why? Life is beautiful, yes, but isn't it everyone's fate to die one day?" I asked cautiously. If it was his passion and he had personal reasons for it that I didn't know, I didn't want to hurt him.
He did, however, shake his head, but only gently and almost imperceptibly - I could tell mainly by the way his blond locks curled around his face.
"No, no, it's probably not because of that. But I'm just interested in such things, and I think it can bring a lot more than just...immortality. Can I explain it to you later? I have already spent four hours on your research, it's a little late and I'd like to take a walk around the neighbourhood. Do you want to come with me? You could show me many things here, some nice places you like to go to... Who do you go there with, perhaps…" He winked at me and laughed again. I smiled desperately.
"With no one, I don't have anyone around here. But I'll be happy to show you here. I know a nice place where I go to read or just think. I think it will be good for you too," I explained and casually cleaned the living room with my wand. Then I took the boy out through our orchard, climbed through a hole in the fence, and he followed me.
“It's not so far away,” I remarked as we waded through a meadow of tall grass.
"I don't mind," he shrugged, "I said I wanted to walk. Maybe it can be far away."
I nodded, deciding not to take my favourite shortcut. He followed me all the way through the forest and meadow, even though there was room for five people walking side by side. I kept turning around nervously until he laughed once.
"I'm still here. I did not disappear. I really want to get there," he explained, reassuring me. "This is it?" he asked as we found ourselves in front of a half-dried lake with a chestnut tree nearby. I nodded.
"Yes."
"And you're just standing here like this? Always?" he poked me and went to the dead tree. I smiled and shook my head, catching up with his long strides.
"No, not at all. Come here..." I walked around the chestnut tree, went around it twice and then slowed, turned to see if he was following me - he looked confused, I had just walked him around the tree twice. I smiled, took his hand carefully, and then walked with him through the tree.
I did not let him go. We walked through a dark underground passage, but after a few seconds, I led us upstairs.
"Be careful, it's slippery," I warned before climbing back up and waiting for him. He then looked around and whistled.
"Your secret entrance to the wizarding world?" he asked, blinking as hoof beats sounded behind us near the forest and a white blur disappeared behind the trees.
"Unicorns. I have only managed to catch a good glimpse of them once, they are too shy. In addition, yes, it is one of the entrances. I discovered it at thirteen; I do not think anyone knows about it. But you can't get to the cross street if you continue walking across the meadow, it will take you to a hill above a muggle town."
"It looks nice here though. Why is your favourite place so...empty?" he asked, still looking around. I looked at him uncomprehendingly.
"Empty? What about..."
"Can I make it better for you?" he asked, pulling out his wand. "If you don't like it, you can remove it."
I nodded and shrugged, stepping back a little and giving him space. He waved his wand several times, whispered something softly, and before long, several twinkling magical lights, fireflies and flowers appeared on the so far gloomy and withered chestnut tree. Gellert stood motionless, his wand now in front of his chest and his eyes still closed. I stepped back again as the heat-dried grass around me began to spring to life, bursting with red and orange blossoms. Garlands of roses flowed around the chestnut tree and dug into the ground. I gasped in disbelief, looked around and then smiled at him as he opened his eyes and inspected his handiwork.
But his eyes remained fixed on me - I couldn't tell if he was really looking at me or through me into the background. He waved his wand again, towards me - I staggered, about to panic, and grabbed the wand as well, then gently fell into the white blanket that had just been conjured. I watched with relief as he walked toward me and laid down next to me.
We stared at the clouds for good ten minutes before he said something. More like, before anything else happened.
“Albus?”
"Yes?" I blinked and turned my head in his direction. He had his blond curls supported by his hand, so he was looking at me a bit from above. I smiled as the sun stung my eyes.
"I'm sorry if this sounds rude... I do not mean to be blunt or anything, but... you're very handsome. I mean, you look like a work of art - I think you'd be a good model for a painting."
At first, I did not manage to say anything - sure, many girls complimented me on my appearance at Christmas balls, or when I invited my former classmate for chocolate - but no one said it like this, in this style and with such a reason. I blinked, again, and also rested my head on my hand and looked at him.
"Really? I thought my blue eyes didn't go with my hair. See, you have blue eyes and blonde hair, and you're fair-skinned too - it goes well - but me? I think I'd-"
"You're very handsome. I told you before. Don't try to ruin it for me."
I nodded silently, feeling a little guilty, so I did not say anything more. I thought about what my siblings were probably doing and suddenly panicked - what if my sister had a seizure and Abertforth would...
"I have to go home." I got up with such speed that I hit the poor boy with my elbow. "By Merlin, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I-"
However, Gellert just shook his head. "Albus, what happened? Did I do something?" He stood up, took my elbow and turned me towards him. I looked into his eyes confused, not wanting to cry. No, I won't do that. My parents just aren't here, and I'm seventeen, not five.
"You didn't do anything, Gellert. Nothing, it's all good. It's just... What if my sister had a seizure and my brother probably couldn't handle her—maybe he wouldn't even notice. Then it's on me. I'm not in a relationship with him intending to guess again, and-"
"I see," he cut in, "the thought upset you. But Albus, you can't be home all the time. Besides, you went out with me and didn't even realise-"
"Oh right! I didn't even realise! By the Merlin's, Aberforth-"
Gellert sighed and retook my elbow. "Albus! Can you listen to me please?"
I took an agitated breath, but the tone of his voice made me look up into his eyes. After a moment, I nodded.
"Yes, I can," I said obediently. Gellert nodded.
"Thank you. I wanted to tell you that you have a right to all of this. You have a right to be mad at your brother and worry about your sister. You have a right to feel upset and uneasy when you're away from home and you don't know what going on there. As well as grieving your mother's death. And the situation that happened to your father - whatever it is. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but the way you react is completely normal. How about this turn your sorrow into something more… useful?”
He looked at me with wide eyes and held both of my shoulders. I still did not have the courage to cry in front of him. What happened yesterday was enough. I bit my lip and looked down at our boots buried in the grass. However, Gellert lifted my head by my chin with his index finger and forced me to look into his eyes again. I pulled myself together, took a breath and nodded.
"I guess so. That is for the best. I am glad I could at least help you - it helped me this morning, and I was able to focus on something else. I'll be happy to help you with anything else if you want..." I let the rest of the words trail off. in the air. The blue-eyed blonde boy was still looking at me, his hand still under my chin. I gently pushed her away with my hand, but he grabbed my hand and held it for a short while.
"I want you to know that I'm here. That we can talk if you need to. Also, I don't have anyone else here but you. I like spending time with you, at least today was really nice. I was not bored either, and besides, it helped with the research. Today was not wasted, Albus. So please don't ruin it with thoughts of things that may or may not happen. You wanted to go on a trip around the world, and unfortunately, that is not possible now - but I am offering you to help me all summer - you can join my plan, no one but me - and now you - understand it anyway. It can be our plan, not just mine. It can be the beginning of something new. Something that will not make you sad like everything until now. Moreover, I will be more than happy to have someone with whom I can practically share the point of my life. In addition, you seem to understand it very well. So please, do not just throw it out of a window now. We can still try to make your summer holiday better, and who knows, maybe later you will be able to have your tour around a whole world.”
I was speechless. What Gellert told me was absolutely true. I tried to do all this just for the sake of my siblings, to keep them at bay at least now, a few days after my mother's death. However, I could not go on like this until Aberforth was seventeen. I also had the right to live. In addition, not just survive, but enjoy your life. He was indeed right.
"Thank you," I said after a long, agonizing silence. "Thank you for everything. But I really have to go home," I added, letting go of his hand, trying for a light smile. Only now did I realize how cold I felt when he let go of my hand and shoulder and took another step away. He nodded.
"I'm sorry," I added after another moment of silence as he stared at me and let go of my hand. He looked nervous. I took a step back, tried to give him another apologetic look, and then quickly turned and walked away towards the tree.
"Albus!" he called to me, I stopped and then slowly turned around.
"Yes?" I replied quietly, sighing. "I really have to go. It's late, it's going to be dark, and I don't want to be out here in the dark. Besides, the siblings might be scared, though I doubt it." I smiled sadly, gave him another apologetic look and walked up to the tree where I climbed back up. I could see him walking quietly behind me the whole time, but I did not turn around. No, no, I could not be out any longer. I needed to be responsible. When we climbed out by the lake, he stopped me again by grabbing my hand.
"At least let me walk you home. It's on the way, but still... I don't want you to go alone, and I want to know that you really got home."
I nodded with a sigh.
"Okay. Aberforth won't be happy, but okay. Come with me, we'll say goodbye and you'll go home. I can't tomorrow, I'm at home-"
"And you'll be bored," he finished for me. I shook my head.
"That's not the point. I need to focus on my brother and sister tomorrow. What if something throws her off? I know, I know…" I cut him off before he could lecture me about how I can't worry all the time, "but the more I'm at home, the better it will be... At least I think..." I turned around uncertainly, I wanted to leave, but he was still holding my wrist and standing in one place.
"No, this won't help her or you. And it won't convince you that everything will be better or okay either. You don't believe it yourself, Albus, and-"
"I believe! I believe it!" I tried to stand up for myself, but I understood that it was not possible forever.
"See? You don't believe," he said again, calmly, and took my other hand as well. I tried not to get flustered and to stay calm.
"No, I don't believe it," I admitted after a moment. Gellert smiled at me and stepped a little closer.
"Is there something so beautiful about that land, Albus, which you keep looking at?" he asked with a laugh, lifting my chin again with his index finger. I laughed a little, but most of all I wanted to go to my room and be alone. I shrugged.
"I don't even know? I guess so? Can I go home, please? I want to go to sleep."
He nodded, I gave him a sign of thanks and then he walked me home.
We said our goodbyes and I immediately went to the bathroom and then straight to bed. I closed my eyes, too comfortable in the cold covers to stay awake a little longer.
It was not until I was on the verge of sleep that the events of the day crept into my head again - but it was his actions, words, expressions and behaviour towards me that caught my attention so much that it snapped me out of my half-sleep. I frowned in confusion and tried not to think about it, but the same thing kept popping into my head - he smiled and took my hand. He took a step closer. He touched my shoulder, then ran his hand down my arm and grabbed both of my hands. He looked into my eyes, he was so close at one point that...
His blue eyes looked into mine and back again. His short blond locks framed his face, looking so soft, so innocent, to Merlin, if only I could find out what their texture really was...
He had previously taken my hand with his spidery white fingers, clasped it and held it for a moment; even so, his hands were cold. I unconsciously squeezed his hand back, looking into his eyes too as he lifted my head by the chin with his index finger.
His fingers under my chin, almost touching the skin on my neck as well. I felt a kind of jolt of craziness, and exhilaration, but in a good way. At Merlin's, I snuggled into the covers, smiling stupidly, then fell asleep with a dazed expression.