he cant speak.

But the sick and twisted truth is that James doesn't believe he deserves love. He’s done nothing to gain love. He knows love exists, he's seen it with his parents, but he doesn't think he is deserving of love. And it doesn't matter how many times someone tells James that they love him, he will never believe it. He doesn't know why, he wishes he does, but he doesn't. And he wants nothing more than to have someone who loves him. Who holds him first. Who thinks of him the first thing when they wake up and right before they go to sleep. To wait for him in the morning and kiss him. Telling him “I love you, have a great day”. But James, in his mind, isn't deserving of that. Because what has he done to deserve it? What has he gone through to deserve that?