Chapter 2
His ring was securely held on a chain you never took off, the golden scuffed band was untouched and had been for twelve years since you’d first arrived at this house and you could imagine it would stay with you for some time and yet its presence haunted you; a reminder of what once was and never to be seen again.
The morning fog swept through the area and you woke up, again, to the desolate silence of the house. You got dressed and tried to put on makeup on to add colour and drive away attention from your lifeless face; the bubbling sound of the kettle as it boiled and the steaming cup of tea in front of your face. Today was a day you both dreaded and felt excitement for because it was a reason to get out of the house and get lost in the overwhelming structure of Hogwarts, for a short time anyway. The muggle radio played upbeat music to wake up its listeners and you imagined your husband taking your hand to dance with him even if he’d just woken up… it was fun to imagine but it hurt more each time when you realised he wasn’t there, he was far away in an unreachable prison for a crime you still didn’t understand.
The Ministry knew, the papers knew, the gossipers knew that Sirius Black was guilty and a madman but you just couldn’t believe it, that they were talking about your husband; he was sometimes stubborn and quick to disagree but never so far as to help kill his best friends but no one listened. When his picture first appeared in the Daily Prophet, people crowded around to stare at the eyes of a murderer, it made you sick and you tried to tell the truth but still no one listened.
Looking back at the clock, you swore at yourself at how long you’d been standing stirring at old memories. Rushing out the door, you trodded through the mud; near the patches of vegetables with a quick inspection for quality you took out your wand and gathered them all to be guided gently onto your carriage.
At the beginning of the week you routinely delivered vegetables and fruits to Hogwarts’s kitchen which would last them all week due to your skilled care and a bit of magic. You worked for the school although didn’t quite have the privilege to sit amongst the teachers during meals, you never liked eating in the Great Hall anyway even as a student, too many eyes. Hogwarts never needed an official supplier of produce but Dumbledore insisted to yourself and his staff that it was better and safer especially for student although some challenged his decision like Professor Snape.
The House-Elves who prepared the food sent long lists and awkward demands but as a result your land grew and so could accommodate any fruit or vegetable no matter the time of year, if they needed pumpkins in February you could provide.
With all the produce packed away, ready for use, with a spell and your wand the carriage began its journey not too fast as to avoid losing any precious cargo. Within the hour you’d left the quiet forest and was halting the carriage in front of the entrance hall, morning lessons had yet to begin so you struggled to carry the produce in the air using your wand whilst avoid being tousled in the crowds of students. They gawked at the lady with her wand in the air with produce steadily gliding above their heads, some teachers helped briefly by directing students to their lessons but eventually you reached the stair case with a breath of relief.
Going down the staircase and praying for no students to come rushing in the opposite direction, you found yourself outside of the Hufflepuff common room and next to it the painting which required you to tickle the painted pear to reveal the kitchen door. From there you waltzed inside to see numerous House Elves working to prepare the next dinner in the Great Hall simultaneously the plates were being washed themselves and created high stacks ready to fall with the slightest push.
“ Morning, got your delivery.”
Nobody spoke, everything stopped for a moment to regard you, even the self-washing dishes, before the elves continued their tasks.
“ You know where to put them.”
No conversation, every attempt ended with a deafening silence so you gave up after awhile. You were walking to leave before an elf came running over, he had recently joined the kitchens and wasn’t quite the grumpy type like the others.
“ Mrs Black, wait a moment please.”
That name stung each time you heard it or saw it on your letters, the elf had no ill intention so you adjusted your outfit and looked back at him, it took a moment for him to catch his breath.
“ Would you mind taking these oranges to Professor Lupin’s room, he’s requested them promptly.”
“ Can’t you use magic to deliver them ?”
“ Well I’ll be busy now preparing the vegetables you’ve just delivered and I don’t…”
You didn’t know Lupin was coming to Hogwarts, he often wrote letters to you in order to check in with your safety as well as maintain your friendship; how could something as big as that slip his mind. Nevertheless you would like to see Lupin so you could poke fun at him for his job, he’d likely do the same to you. Plucking the plate of oranges from the elf you dismissed his long reasoning and reminded him it was a small task which you didn’t mind, he felt relieved as you walked back up the staircase and followed the elf’s directions to the Defence against the Dark Arts room.
Once you reached the third floor, you knocked on the door with a distant and fading ‘come in’ from the other side. The classroom was empty, you expected a room full of children since lessons had started but it seemed no one was coming. You saw a figure enter from the room above the classroom and a surprised smirk fell upon Remus’s face.
“ Thought you could keep your little secret away from me, Lupin ? Why didn’t you tell you’d got a job, let alone at Hogwarts.”
“ Well, if you must know, I was going to surprise you at your house after teaching today but guess I was too late so thank you for ruining my plan.”
“ Your welcome, if you want to blame anyone blame yourself since you asked for bloody oranges. I miss a lot about Hogwarts but not those fuckin’ stairs.”
Remus was slowly making his way down to you ,whilst you exaggerated your shortness of breath, before standing in front of you his figure slightly loomed over you but he never frightened you, not his scars, not even his little wolf secret which Sirius accidentally blurted out whilst drunk one night.
“ Come, we can chat for a little bit before I have a class.”
He began to lead you through the desks and up the staircase to his office where his suitcase was hastily unpacked but it looked semi-professional. He sat at his own desk, you sitting in front like a student being scolded by their teacher.
“ So Remus, are you excited to be teaching students or are you gonna crack under pressure and start crying in the first few minutes.”
Your sarcasm had been non- existent for many years, especially with no one around to receive it, Sirius had loved it because he could reply just as sarcastically. Now with a few words with Remus it felt like the old days when you knew you were happy unlike now where you often go days without interaction. Remus laughed before his smile dropped and the room became smaller.
“ Lily’s and James’ son will be in one of my classes, have you seen him at all ?”
When you first saw Harry three years ago you stumbled, bundles of apples and pears crashing to the floor to be squashed under the feet of students; you nearly spoke his fathers name at the similarity before students began to whisper, prompting you to scurry away. You’d only held him once as a baby making silly noises with Sirius in order to hear his joyful laugh Lily and James snickered at the lengths you two had gone to see Harry’s smile.
“ Briefly, he’ll pass me in the corridors when I’m leaving but won’t notice. I feel like I want to tell him everything, take on the responsibility Sirius should of had as his Godfather but I can’t.. can barely take care of myself some days.”
You’d muttered the last part but with the silence in the room Remus heard it clearly and his hands fidgeted, his grim look deepening further.
“ I assume you don’t read the Daily Prophet anymore ?”
“ Why should I ? Not after what they did to Sirius.”
“ That’s what I thought, you aren’t going to like this but you need to see it.”
His hand plucked a newspaper from his desk before sliding it across, the picture of your husband stood out immediately. With bold letters across the top,
Escape from Azkaban !
That same deranged, almost insane look on Sirius face haunted you and now it was in front of you, that wasn’t Sirius, not the man you love. You skimmed over the article but threw it to the floor once it began to recount the past and your name started to appear as a potential aid for Black’s escape.
“ You think this is a joke Remus, this is some sick prank ?”
“ I wish it was, Sirius has escaped and I don’t know where he is.”
It was silent, Remus blindly expected you to blurt out the whereabouts of Sirius, instead tears started to form and slide down your cheeks.
“ Why would you think I’d know, Sirius doesn’t know I moved away and if I know him, which is questionable right now, he’d finished whatever he started twelve years ago before coming back to me.”
Sirius would have spent enough time plotting exactly what he’d do and say when he got out, he’d never bring to you what he so carefully tried to keep you away from. You remember it all, the last kiss, the last expression on his face and his last words to you,
“I’ll come back, I promise.”
Remus believed you and only hoped you’d know so he could keep his friend safe and find out the truth. He stood from his chair before wrapping his arms around you, comforting you like he had when you originally heard the news Sirius was arrested. Gripping onto his arms you could imagine him now, alone and cold without anyone to keep him warm. After some time, you’d calmed down and left Remus as his class was soon to begin; you both promised to keep better in touch.
Remus was the only friend you had left from the Order, Dumbledore spoke to you sometimes but never to re-live the past only for special requests of certain plants. That wasn’t to say you disliked the man, you were grateful for Dumbledore, keeping you from the Ministry’s clutches and giving you a job and routine to keep you sane.
Leaving Hogwarts and making the dreadful journey back to your house, your nerves were scattered and you feared that through every door would be Sirius waiting for you. You’d look out your window some mornings and see a dog watching you from the woods or perhaps it was disillusion since you’d blink and it’d disappeared; perhaps the dementors knew something you didn’t, they swarmed above the produce weekly turning the land to ice and ruining your vegetables.
Time passed although it felt draining as you relied on Remus for news, it seemed Sirius kept coming closer being sighted in Dufftown which wasn’t far from Hogwarts and even closer to your home. Remus feared for your safety, the Ministry may make an unesscary connection and assume you were helping Sirius but you’d reassured Remus, you’ve dealt with the Ministry long enough to know what they’re up to.
On the somewhat positive side, Harry and his friends seemed to take notice of you when you made deliveries although it was only an interrogation since they’d figured out your last name, you passed it off as a coincidence and internally hoped you’d one day be able to tell the truth.
With another uneventful night you pondered the future, Remus had written the day before with grave news, he was quitting his job but with no clear excuse, you’d tried to catch him but he’d already left his office now merely a space to collect dust.
The book in your hand began to weigh heavily the words losing your attention as the fire roared ferociously like the numerous Gryffindor’s you’d encountered. Then, curiously, you heard a knock at the door it wasn’t loud and sounded unsure but it caused dread to run through your blood; you sat still, the book tumbling from your grip to the floor and the knock came again now more rushed
Fear had once kept you isolated in this house but now it was fear which made your body move towards the door, your wand clutched by your side as the knocking didn’t stop, the mumblings of a deep voice beyond the door.
Opening the door just enough to poke your head out, you were finally after years of waiting and grieving staring at Sirius Black his hands held in front of him as he stared attentively mirroring your own expression.
Neither said anything, Sirius kept staring at your eyes something he’d watched from afar but now could memorise all the small details he’d forgotten in Azkaban. When he looked at you completely he could tell you’d aged, well so had he, but you looked so beautiful just as he’d imagined during those cold and agonising nights.
Sirius on the other hand was dishevelled, you’d expected him in prison rags but instead he wore a dark shirt with its matching waistcoat and a long jacket; it reminded you of what he once wore but now it looked loose-fitting. Sirius’s hair still held its untameable curls you remembered the times your fingers played graciously with each strand. His body however looked frail and the bags under his eyes were dark, making him look even more like the murderer the Ministry wanted him to be but you still knew it was Sirius and after all this time despite the many barriers Sirius had came back to keep his promise.
“ I’m not sure what the general greeting is after not seeing your wife for twelve years.”
Straight to a joke, his voice still carried the same charm which had made you fall for him.
“ I would say you’re late for dinner but it looks like you actually need food.”
“ Wasn’t exactly being fed the five star meal the Ministry promised me.”
Your grip on the door loosened and hesitatingly you reached out to cup his slender cheek finally to feel his skin against yours, your fingers grazed the long messy curls and Sirius quickly grabbed your other hand to bring you closer and keep his arms tight around you. The hug was desperate and needed like the first ray of sunshine after a storm and those tears once again resurfaced; Sirius eventually joined you but he cried because of his relief and he enjoyed hearing you repeat his name to confirm this was real.
He wanted to kiss you but could see how overwhelmed you already were and didn’t want to ruin the reunion he’d been planning since he first entered Azkaban. Guiding you inside, Sirius placed you on your sofa whilst he frantically checked your home. New surroundings were a luxury currently for Sirius and he found a kettle which he began to boil and prepare two cups of tea.
On the other side, your sniffles had died down once you no longer felt Sirius’s body and through cloudy eyes could see Sirius open and rummage through cupboards before finding teabags and biscuits. He was soon returning to your side on the sofa with two cups of tea and a pile of biscuits covering the table. Sirius sat next to you with your legs touching and finally he’d realised what he’d done.
“ Sorry, dear, for plundering your house… I come back and the first thing I do is make us some tea. Little too domestic don’t you think ?”
“ I don’t mind Sirius, you were always the expert at making tea anyway.”
At your declaration, Sirius stopped and put his cup down his hand falling to find yours as his fingers grazed the back of your hand.
“ I need you to know something, everything was a lie. That rat bastard Pettigrew was the spy, not me, I left you that night to find him but I ended up taking the blame.”
You cupped his cheeks running your fingers across his course and untrimmed beard calming him down, his brows furrowing at the person you thought to be dead. Sirius had been through enough himself, he didn’t need to know what the Ministry had done to you, he couldn’t know of the torture you were close to enduring.