Chapter 3
Questions were poised at the tip of your tongue, wonders of his experience in the grips of dementors but you forcefully stopped your inquisitive mind; you spoke as if those twelve years were a fading memory talking of the past, the good bits at least, not trying to bring up either of your experiences alone. At some point your discussion had become desperate leading to you describing little objects in the house, you’d bought them because of how much they’d reminded you of him. Sirius smirked at the small paintings of dogs spotted around the house.
A midst the cups of lukewarm tea and biscuits crumbs, Sirius saw the glare of his wedding ring dangling on a chain seeing his obvious attention to your chest you were confused before nearly choking on a biscuit. You let the ring glide down from the chain into your hand then gave it back to its rightful owner, his finger resembled a thin bone so the ring never sat comfortably nevertheless Sirius kept the ring on as a reminder.
When Sirius wasn’t recounting his journey he was staring, especially at your eyes, to him they only enhanced your ethereal beauty. His eyes would briefly scan the room for any danger, a habit he’d gained since his escape, but his attention would immediately be brought back to you; he’d listen to you ramble about trivial topics like how the recent weather had ruined a patch of vegetables until you audibly yawned.
Expecting Sirius to follow you upstairs you turned around to see him shuffling on his feet, the domestic pattern he once followed felt foreign to him but you assured him he had a choice now; he realised this abundance of options that he now had before deciding to follow you upstairs.
Saying goodnight, you felt the warm prescene of your husband behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist until you were dragged closer to him. For so long you pretended to feel the weight of his hands on your body yet now you could trace the veins of his hand or move upwards to caress his arms. Sirius’s hair grazed your neck, every so often his hand would shift and keep a tight hold whilst whispered words stuttered from his mouth.
You’d fallen asleep by this point but once you could no longer feel his grip nor warm breath against your skin you fumbled out of bed pinching your skin until it caused pain fearing this had all been a dream; your eyes bounced around the room. From downstairs you heard movement and felt a breath of air finally enter your body, calming yourself enough to find him.
Halfway down the stairs you crossed Sirius, who was also returning to bed, his hand was ruffling his hair vigoursly before he acknowledged your prescene, only one step above him.
“ For fucks sake, why aren’t you asleep ?” His voice was startled before lowering to a whisper.
“You know I could say the say thing to you, if you were having trouble sleeping you could of woken me up.” A part of you felt the need to berate him though the frightened look hidden beneath his tousled curls made you reconsider the immoral tone.
Your hands delicately found their place at your hips and Sirius scoffed his eyes avoided your own despite how entranced he was by them only hours ago.
“ It’s difficult adjusting to… trinket-filled walls and a non- leaking roof rather than the prison cell I’ve lived in.”
His confession left him with a grim taste in his mouth, he spoke so much about his cell in Azkaban one might think he wanted to go back but he was far from taking any trips to return. Sirius tried to shake off the depth of his words by plastering a smile on but his attempts to get past you were thwarted. Hands cupped his cheeks and swiped over the skin to offer him comfort but only added to his bubbling desire to speak more.
“ I don’t think I can re-create an Azkaban cell but I can at least try to help Sirius, I don’t expect things to return to how they used to be. This is a sudden change, for both of us.”
Sirius placed his hands on top of your own and pulled them away so he could direct you both back to bed. You searched his face for an answer as he fell back into bed beside you but his furrowed brow told you his answer was brewing like a potion. Eventually he spoke as he traced mindless shapes on your thigh.
“ My dear wife…the problem is I think every time I close my eyes, I’ll be back in that shithole and that you were never here. If this is an illusion I’ll say this has been my best so far.”
You twisted one of his curls around your finger before tugging down resulting in a hiss of pain.
“ Don’t say such things Sirius, I’ve had to check twice already to see if this was a dream if I pinch my skin anymore I’ll bleed. Now sleep my dear, you deserve it.” Sirius huffed accepting the sweet slumber awaiting him, sparing only a moment to give a small tug to your own hair as compensation.
A week had passed since Sirius’ arrival, you nervously left him during that time to deliver your produce; avoiding any entanglements so that you could return to his awaiting arms quicker. He laughed at your work clothes, the gardening overalls and dirtied boots, although soon enough he was put to work sweating as he inspected each vegetable and watered them, the muggle way.
Both of you stood on a lake of ice trying to comfortably reach each other without cracking the thin barrier beneath, the journey to return to once was would be difficult and could never be truly achieved but it allowed for something new to blossom as you both re-learnt interesting stories or facts about one another.
Staring outside, the coolness of a summer morning was slowly fading, the indescribable heat soon to replace; not enough magic could cool you so the muggle powered fans would suffice.
Sirius’ arms came to wrap around your waist as he left kisses dotted around your cheek, descending to your neck to lightly nip. Physically, you and Sirius had yet to cross that border despite the many years before Sirius’ imprisonment which saw you both having sex on every imaginable surface. However that fiery passion was being stoked each time Sirius’ hand lingered on your body.
A loud knock startled you and ripped away whatever intimacy was growing, looking back at Sirius you waited with bated breath hoping it wasn’t someone at the door. Footsteps fluttered around the door and frustrated sighs could be heard beyond.
“ The Ministry would like a word with you, Mrs Black.”
It sent you spiralling as you felt the past repeating itself and you fumbled from Sirius grasp, he too was riddled with fear; neither of you could come to a solution eventually you spewed out a response.
“ Hold on, I’ll be there in a moment.”
Turning to Sirius you pushed him up the stairs, avoiding making a ruckus to stir up suspicions.
“ Fuck, fuck, Sirius. Who the fuck knows I’m here?”
Pushing him to into the bedroom, you looked out the window to confirm your dreaded confrontation and saw three men dressed in dark coloured leather coats their gaze sweeping the front of the house; they were growing impatient and you had yet to hide Sirius. He called out your name.
“ Go downstairs and deal with the Ministry, I’ll find a way to hide.”
“ I can’t lose you again Siri… I won’t.”
“I promise, you won’t dear.”
He pressed his hands against your head to deliver a kiss on your forehead before smoothing the untidy hair. With an unsteady breath, you ran downstairs to pull open the door and meet the fake smile of the Ministry minions.
“ Everything alright ?”
Where there was once three men now only was one, the other two were walking around the house looking into the windows with their wands exposed acting as a warning. Nodding to his question he peered over your shoulder and looked unconvinced.
“ May I come in, I have some questions.”
Opening the door to let him in, the shadows of the men outside circled you like a constant reminder. Not letting the man inside meant you had something to hide and you avoided looking to the stair case hoping Sirius had enough time.
“ Where’s your husband, Mrs Black ?” The blunt accusations were mandatory for any Ministry employee.
“ Why you don’t tell me since the Ministry thinks the situation is under control.”
Your sarcasm which had been unused for so long had been ignited since Sirius’ arrival and surprised even yourself when the words left you; the man merely scoffed.
“ All we need to do is have a little look around if you’re so sure he’s not here.”
“ Fine, I have nothing for you which you haven’t already written in a report.”
He ignored the comment and immediately headed upstairs as if he knew something was up there, following after him he navigated towards the bedroom before entering and you nearly collapsed from shock.
On top of the bed lay an abnormally large black dog his mouth was open as he panted, behind the man you clutched your chest.
“ What kind of dog is that ? It got a name?”
“ His name is Baskerville, I’ve had him for a few years.”
Sirius growled but made no attempt to attack the man his screams would attract the others which would only cause more trouble. As you and Sirius stared at each other trying to hide the sweat the man began to rip apart the room pulling out draws and waving around his wand. Every second of destruction only made him more agitated until his anger overspilled and he pinned you against the wall.
“ We know you’ve got him somewhere you’re nothing but his whore, being his link to the outside world and helping him escape.”
“ I told you then and I’m telling you now, I didn’t know anything.”
His arm pressed against your windpipe reminding you of the Slytherin girl who’d warned you as well but she didn’t press her wand into your cheek; she didn’t have the chance to kill you. Sirius barked at the man but you waved your hand to dismiss him and keep him calm.
“ If only Dumbledore hadn’t intervened, they should of cast the Cruciatus curse when they had the chance, at least then they’d of got some answers and I wouldn’t have to waste my time.”
He spat his words at you it felt like you were back in that room pinned down to the ground as a man waved his wand the unforgivable curse hanging on his lips as the others surrounding him hounded on you for information. Sirius had grown silent his pants stopping as he whimpered.
With his arm pulled away, you nearly slumped to the floor however you couldn’t break when they were so close to leaving.
“ Fine, you worthless now just a broken thing hiding away, if I was Black I wouldn’t come back to you either.” His words meant nothing to you merely just noise to be ignored.
Once outside he gathered his men before apparating, your hurried breath returned as you ran back upstairs to find Sirius back into a human with his body slumped forward, his head held between his legs and hair flung forward to expose the curls. You called out for him to watch his face rise, you met reddened eyes tears falling with free will.
“ What happened when I got arrested ?”
Nervously fiddling with your clothes, the expected conversation was soon to appear. It was a pit inside your mind that couldn’t be filled, begrudgingly taking up space and replacing happier memories.
“ After I found out about your arrest I was pulled in for questioning although it later became an interrogation. The Ministry pulled out every tactic even trying to bring my family into it but they had no clear evidence to prove I was involved so putting me into Azkaban was out of question.”
Sirius was still digesting the information, it felt like a shovel had been forced into your hands tirelessly digging up the past.
“ They didn’t let me go, kept me in some Ministry cell feeding me enough to keep me alive, I thought I’d die without anyone knowing. Eventually some Ministry bastards got pissed off and wanted to use the Cruciatus curse on me to get some sort of confession. They hadn’t told the rest of the Ministry and took it upon themselves to take dire action…. Dumbledore barged in at the right moment with some officers ready to arrest them. I felt my freedom again but I had no where to go, the newspapers had caught wind of me and our address, I didn’t want to burden Remus anymore than I had done but Dumbledore was kind enough to create this job, make this home for me to keep me safe.”
You remembered carrying everything you had in a small briefcase and entering the empty home, Dumbledore gifting a plant and Remus who sent over a stack of books they served as a reminder that people still cared about you.
Presently, Sirius stood up and brushed his tears away as if they’d been a burden to him.
“ Where you ever going to tell me… about any of this ?” His tone had deepened.
“ I didn’t know when, it wasn’t a memory I fondly looked back on plus I never thought I’d have to tell you.”
What once had the potential to be an enjoyable day had no chance to recover, nothing could compensate for the disrupted peace that had been created. Sirius brushed his clothes and began to walk downstairs hardly taking a moment to explain. His voice sounded broken with his words being forced.
“The Ministry is still after me, it was foolish of me to believe I could come back and live a normal life. I think it’s best if l leave.”
Moving to grasp his arm desperately pulling him back you practically begged for him to stay but your tears contorted your voice to become a wailing mess. Sirius didn’t stop, trying to leave his head poised to the door avoiding looking back lest he re-think his decision. You believed his concern was unnecessary and would be disastrous; as a result your teeth clenched together now able to form complete words although the tears still spilled.
“ You- You don’t get to be selfish, I didn’t spend my time in Azkaban but I waited 12 years for you. Just because I have a job and a house doesn’t mean I was happy, that everyday I wasn’t struggling to carry on.”
Sirius need only take a few steps and he could leave, keeping you safe however your words broke his stride. He stopped, turning to look at your face truly and saw how distraught you’d become. He didn’t want to ever be the reason you cried he found his ability to leave more difficult as he imagined you all alone waiting once more for him to return.
“ Please don’t leave me again Sirius. I love you too much to see you suffer anymore.”
Looking between the door and yourself, Sirius gave a weak smile.
“I-I’m not going to leave you princess, I’ve spent a long time away from you and some Ministry wankers aren’t going to keep me running.”
Whereas you were pulling him back he now brought you to him and his arms circled your waist with a tight but safe grip giving a deeper meaning, that he was going to stay for good this time. Your tears stayed fighting but now weren’t as downtrodden but overwhelmed with a sense of familiarity; Sirius tended to your tears with gentle shushes before looking at you, his eyes holding a watery smile.
“ Can I kiss you ?” The shy blush atop of your cheeks resembled that of a schoolgirl but Sirius only chuckled and brought you closer.
“ You’ve never had to ask love.”
His mouth crashed against yours he kissed you deeply trying to make up for those 12 years he hadn’t spent appreciating your lips and kissing them. Your whimper into his mouth startled you both but only sent him spiralling into kissing deeper with rushed praises against your lips.