breakfast
that morning i was tired, i managed to get to sleep finally, but that didn’t stop annie having to shake me awake at 7am for breakfast.
“i’m up! i’m up stop shaking me!” i sat up in bed and yawned, stretching. after all that happened the notion of having to go to an exam today felt completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. i got up and showered, all i could think about was how he might ask me, i mean it wasn’t crazy to assume he was, even annie said there was no other reason he’d ask me if i had a date.
I let the warm water wash over my body, it was going to be cold today. stepping out of the shower, i put on uniform as usual, i wasn’t much of a fan of the school jumper but there’s no doubt i’d probably freeze to death without it, so i pulled it over my damp hair.
“when do you think he’ll ask?” annie asked me from the mirror, doing her makeup while i wqs drying my hair with a towel, which i was going to magic dry, but was so used to doing it naturally, the muggle way.
“you think he’ll ask today?”
“not sure, is he much of a romantic?”
“ well he better be, we won’t be settling for anything less”
i laughed at her use of the plural pronoun once again, “you’re really holding on to this we thing aren’t you?”
“i refuse to explain myself again, now hurry up i’m waiting for a coffee and some french toast”
“you’re using the mirror!” i complained and she moved out of the way and sat on her bed to put on her shoes. the castle was warm but we were going to class straight after, and walking through the courtyard would be a wave of cold air, so she put on some black snow boots and gloves.
“hair up or down?” i asked while doing my everyday makeup, nothing special just something to brighten my face that i did every morning.
“oh defo down, and wear my hoop earrings”
i grabbed them from our shared jewellery rack, we practically had one wardrobe that we shared along with makeup and jewellery, so i knew i didn’t even have to ask twice. Drying my hair with a simple spell, i was ready for the day , it didn’t take long now, once we were back in the routine we were ready pretty quickly.
i turned to face where she was still sitting on her bed “okay, thoughts?”
Annie stood up and walked over to me, placing my earmuffs round my neck. “perfect getting asked to the yule ball look!”
my eyes lit up and i smiled at her, moving to put on my robe
“are you sure i’ll need these? we’re just crossing the courtyard not walking a mile” i stood by the door and struggled to put on my boots standing, hopping around on one leg while gripping annie’s shoulder to keep my balance.
“ you never learn bel, and i’m not coming up to get them because your ears are cold in three hours”
“fine fine, let’s go im starving”
we left the room and began our walk to the hall, on our way out we noticed it was snowing hard, but being lovers of the cold weather we walked outside through the yard and snow coated our heads and uniforms, melting when landing on our robes. i had my earmuffs on, because for some reason my ears got especially cold in the winter, and it was unbearable. we walked slowly through the school and finally arrived at the great hall for breakfast, our robes damp and hair coated in snow.
We were joking about how cold the beauxbatons uniforms must be, those silky dresses are gorgeous, but there was no way they were surviving the cold with them, let alone snow.
“it hurts to watch them freeze, the next one i see i’m offering her my scarf” i said while we walked towards the hufflepuff table.
“oh trust me same” she stopped talking mid sentence and suddenly i was walking to the table alone. i only took two steps forward before turning back to face annie.
“what’s up? why’d you stop?” i was confused looking at her face, she wasn’t watching me, her eyes were on something across the hall, her lips pressed into into a line. I followed her line of sight, wondering what could possible catch her attention.
————————————————————————
“what the fuck” the words had left my mouth before i even thought them.
in front of us was Cedric diggory a few tables over asking a beauxbatons girl we had never seen before to the yule ball. we watched it all play out silently just like the rest of the hall, i couldn’t hear the words leaving his mouth, but i sure as hell heard the ‘yes’ that left hers. She had jumped into his arms after he asked, overjoyed that the hogwarts champion had finally popped the big question. People around clapped, and there were a few cheers from the hufflepuff table, but i was still, my eyes stuck on the picture before me.
Was it stupid of me to think he actually liked me? the guy i thought was genuine through and through was just playing one big fucking joke to get my hopes up. The way he kissed me last night, the soft glow in his cheeks, it just seemed so real, so so very real. But suddenly those moments felt different, it all felt fake, humiliating.
“bel come on let’s just go, you don’t wanna see this” annie put her hand on mt shoulder, and tried to pull me back towards the door but i didn’t move, i didn’t want to feel pathetic running away, but she knew how much it would affecting me to see this.
“bel seriously”
i turned to her, and smiled gently. My eyes glossed over with tears, but i wouldn’t cry. not now, not here. “what? no, i’m hungry, you’re hungry, let’s just eat yeah?”
i began to walk to the table, she followed close behind. “are you sure? we can just go and eat later, honestly i wasn’t even that hungry”
I didn’t respond to annie, i was overdoing it,
thinking too much. I always run away, my pathetic boyfriend dumped me last year and i sat in my room for a week and cried, i always did. always doing nothing, and now the boy that i’ve liked for two years, kissed me, and then asked out someone he barely knows to a dance. a proper dance. the dance, most would say, and i was just the idiot who left it too long and got my hopes up, the one who’s stuck two days before the yule ball with no date.
“bel? bella?” we were sitting down and i turned to my best friend, who was looking at me with a worried expression, her plate empty.
“hm? yeah?” i had been too involved in my own thoughts to hear what she had asked me.
“i said are you sure you want to? we can just skip first period, hang out in our room”
“of course i’m sure” i smiled at her. she knew i was upset, that i would probably rather be there right now crying, and that all i could possible do was sit and hold back my tears.
“alright then..” she was unsure, but gave up and began to fill her plate, and putting some on mine.
“you know” i started “i might as well just congratulate him right? he’s here, i’m here, it seems the logical thing” I didn’t know why i wanted to go over to him, maybe internally i wanted to compare the girl he was going with, see why he picked her over me.
“what? bella no don’t do that to yourself let’s just stay and eat”
“honestly, no harm done, i’ll only be a second” i don’t know what i was thinking, but suddenly i was standing up, and looking behind me at cedric, his arm around his new date.
“don’t do this babe, i promise it’s not worth it” i was standing still facing her, my hands crossed over my chest, i looked at my best friend with pleading eyes, i needed this closure.
An arm snaked round my shoulders and before i even felt his presence, fred weasley was standing next to me.
“morning annie” fred looked to me “mary” annie smiled at fred, she was so occupied with making sure i didn’t do this that neither of us noticed that george wasn’t by his twins side, which i guess is something you don’t usually see.
i looked to fred and then back at annie “you wont even notice, i swear i’ll say one word, i’ll be there and then i’ll be gone”
“bella don’t” she pleaded but stayed seated.
“okay i feel ive walked into something, why is she acting weird” fred questionsed annie, but she just shrugged it off.
“it’s nothing fred, please just go and sit down”
something about everything being so casual, like this wasn’t the worst heartbreak i’ve ever felt broke me right there, and it was then that i couldn’t hold in the tears that were building up behind my eyes. fred’s arm was still on me, i hadn’t even bothered to shove it off like i usually did. i felt a tear stream down my face and i just wiped it with the back of my hand, looking at the floor.
“shit” i muttered, but no other tears fell, i wouldn’t sob.
Fred had never seen me cry, nor did he ever think he would, which is why he was so surprised to see it. his arm that was around me moved, and he just held my shoulder, facing me towards him.
“mary are you crying?” i looked up at him and just wiped my damp cheek. I wasn’t sure why, but i didn’t want to seem weak in front of fred.
“no, you’re just seeing things weasley”
he nodded, like he was in on some secret joke, although i didn’t know what the joke was.
“ah i see” he looked into my eyes “you know id be crying too if all i ate for breakfast was plain bread” It’s true that was all that was on my plate, but i just glared back at him. it was more like up at him with that height.
“hey fred, i’m pretty sure that was you i heard crying in the halls last night, but you know i’d be crying too if i was that bad of a quidditch player”
he gasped, but the grin i was so used to seeing was back, it was almost like he was worried for a second, but only a second. “that’s a low blow martin, can’t a guy wake up to kindness at 8am?” i laughed.
annie stood up then, she had been silent but she knew we should leave.
“bella-“
i shouldn’t have, but i interrupted her, i could already predict what she was about to say.
“why don’t you two sit together for a minute, i just need to talk to a friend, i’ll only be a second, like i said” i looked at my best friend and just tried as best as i could to say ‘please’ with my eyes.
Fred responded first, looking between me and her “alright..but when you get back i need to hear about your first fight of the year okay mary?”
i didn’t respond, but i did hear annie drag him to a seat and tell him to shut up.
Now that i was doing it, walking towards the couple, i was very quickly regretting this decision. But as i got closer i became confident, that for once i wasnt running away. Still, i had no idea what i was going to say, but decided i’ll think of that when i got there.
I tapped cedric on the shoulder and he turned to face me mid conversation, his beauxbatons date doing the same. now that i could see her she really was gorgeous, like she was just forever in spring.
“what do you need martin?” Cedric smiled at me, but it wasn’t the same, it didn’t seem real or sweet, it just felt like nothing.
i gave him an identical expression, knowing it was completely insincere.
“i just heard about you two..going to the ball and all, and i wanted to say congratulations”
before cedric could respond, his date did for him.
“oh my thank you you’re so sweet! i’m stella it’s a pleasure to meet you” she gave me a sweet smile,throwing one of her loose curls behind her shoulders, so effortlessly beautiful.
I shook hands with her “i’m bella” i wanted to be kind to her, this girl was innocent, she had done nothing to me. “i’m sure you’re excited”
she nodded, her face still beaming. “i really am, i wouldnt usually leave finding a date this late, but i knew ced was going to ask me, he couldn’t hide his stares any longer” i watched her arm as she pulled his face towards hers, kissing him on the cheek. it was like a punch to the face, and heart. but i kept my composure and just nodded. to any bystander they were a perfect couple, sweet and equally beautiful people, but looking at them i felt it was wrong. but i guess my judgement is clouded.
“so bella”
“hm?”
“are you going to the ball with your redhead friend over there? you too are very cute!”
what? she thought me and fred were a couple? what on earth was she thinking, i mean yeah we were friends, but merlin dating that boy would be a nightmare. maybe it’s how his arm is always around my shoulders or waist, but he only does that as a joke, and i don’t hesitate to push him off. But standing here reminded me that i didn’t have a date, and if i had to look at cedric’s date and tell her i was going with fred weasley just to save me the embarrassment, i would.
“oh you mean fred?” i looked back to see him talking to annie, he looked more serious than usual, but then his face broke out in a laugh and annie slapped his arm, a glare in her eyes. i guess it’s not just me he teases, hes just like that.
“yes, but there are two of them no?” she followed my line of sight and then looked back at me while i spoke. i turned my head away from the hufflepuff table and focused on stella.
“yeah they’re identical twins, but if you’re stuck around them long enough you can tell the difference”
she nodded, cedric was silent next to her, his face cold while he listened. the people around us had gone back to their old conversations.
“ah so you are going with that one, the one who always has his arm round you, even though you’re always arguing?”
it was weird how much she noticed, it made me nervous. my hand rubbed the back of my neck and i just smiled.
“yes, but we’re just friends, and by the way he does that to everyone, it’s nothing special”
she looked as if she didn’t believe me, and her eyes wandered back to the table.
“really? he’s looking at you now though”
i turn to see fred weasleys body faced towards me and we locked eyes, he pretended to tap a watch on his wrist, signalling me to hurry up. i rolled my eyes at his attempt to speed up my conversation and he just winked, pushing his fiery red messy hair out of his eyes. i just turned back to stella and put my middle finger up at fred, ignoring him, my other hand pushing up my glasses that were sliding down my face from looking at the couple
sitting down.
She giggled. and it was one of those french giggles, like an angel was laughing.
“he does it to piss me off trust me” i scoffed
“if you say so bella, we shall see you at the ball, it was lovely talking to you” i nodded. it was so hard to be mad at someone who seemed like such a sweet soul, innocently liking a boy.
“you too, see ya” before i turned to leave my eyes couldn’t help but lock with cedric, and his were already on me. i faltered for a second, my breath caught in my throat. i had been distracted, but now the doubt was back, creeping into my heart. i was only ever a girl that you kissed for fun, not the effortlessly beautiful one that you kissed because you actually liked her.
“bye cedric”
he sent me that same smile from earlier, the one i could see right through
“later martin”
with cedric it was always bel, or bella, never martin. Did i do something wrong? did he rethink what he did last night and realise it was all one big mistake?
I sat back down next to annie and fred, who were now joined by angelina and george, talking.
annie had a piece of toast in her hand while she spoke “decided you wanna bunk yet? i don’t have energy for dark arts, moody is so creepy”
“i second that, i always feel like he’s staring at me” spoke angelina, she looked tired, but still perfect.
what annie really meant was ‘im worried, let’s just go and talk about it’ but if i acted like nothing happened, then maybe it would be like nothing did, like cedric planned to ask me at
lunch in the courtyard and he didn’t just do what ever i saw him just do.
“nono, we’re going to lessons” i stood up and grabbed a piece of buttered toast “punzel let’s go now i want to get there early”
Annie knew what that meant and got up, taking some of her breakfast with her.
“hold on, why are you both leaving before us? i still didn’t get to talk to mary about those bloody knuckles” fred grinned his usual smile laced with mischief
“there’s only one way to talk shit about you fred weasley” i tilted my head at him and smiled
“see now i know you’re lying because theres no shit to talk about when it comes to someone as charming as me”
“don’t lie, you wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother like that would you?” shaking my head disappointingly. i took a bite out of my toast, now i actually thought about it, i was starving.
“okay this could go on for hours let’s just go” annie grabbed my arm and pulled me forward to leave the hall, but fred still had a smirk on his face as i was dragged away.
i started to speak while we walked, a little too fast, but it was like the words were spilling out.
“he’s such a dick! and you know that girl cedric asked out? her names stella. she actually thought we were dating! better yet she assumed that we were going to the ball together! she couldn’t BE so wrong! and now i actually TOLD her that we’re going to the ball together. why did i even say that? oh also did i mention she’s a literal angel? honestly it’s like every morning she flys down from heaven in that silk uniform they all wear” i wasn’t even looking where i was going, but eventually we stopped under an archway, and i was still talking.
“genuinely, i can’t even hate her that’s the worst part! she’s so kind and innocent, but really do you think people think something is happening with me and fred? that’s crazy! i could never fancy that prick, i mean we’re friends, but he’s insufferable! all those jokes and teases, it really drives me up the wall. and she really thought we were together!?”
annie stayed silent, she was listening to every word.
“and did i mention she thinks we’re going to the ball together? i think i did, oh well, i don’t even know why i said that! to hide my embarrassment i guess, but what the hell am i supposed to do now?? i cant just show up with no date after i said i was going with fred can i? and no way i’m asking him to go with me, he’d never let it go! and who knows if he’s even still free!? Cedric, on the other hand is a whole other fucking mess, he called me martin. do you hear that? martin! he never says that, and now we’re on a last name basis? where does that even come from-!”
“okay breath” annie had her hands on my shoulders and i took a deep breath, finally shutting up.
“there’s so much to take in, but i’ll start with saying cedric is a dickhead, and whatever is going on is his problem not yours okay? his biggest mistake was throwing you away” i smiled and nodded, letting her talk after i had almost puked out my feelings.
“second of all, don’t even get my started on fred, you know what i think already”
“can’t you be unbiased for this conversation!”
she grinned “never, pining for you two to get together is etched into my soul, so yes actually i can believe that this stella thought you were dating”
“we’ll i no longer want your opinion on the matter bevause you are not taking a neutral stand” annie had a magical way of distracting me, i already felt better.
we started to walk to the classroom, having calmed down i still wanted the day to go on as usual.
“third of all, we’ll get you a date to the ball, and who knows, maybe not everyone has asked yet?”
i paused and gave her a look, she knew something i didn’t. “okay, tell me now”
Annie couldn’t hold back her smile, giving her away even more “i wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise!”
i glared at her, but at least things felt normal. my mind was off of breakfast events. “you’re sick, you know that?”
“my boyfriend would disagree, so would you when you remember all i do for you”
“you have a boyfriend? i had no idea!”
she laughed at the sarcasm, and we arrived at the lesson just in time, a few people were filing in and most were sitting at their desks.
me and annie were paired up for defence against the dark arts, and we sat at the back, meaning we spent most lessons writing conversations to each other instead of taking notes. something about moody freaked me out, it was like he was always watching with that creepy eye of his.
we sat down and annie got out our textbook, on days with few lessons we tended to bring one bag and rotate carrying it. Moody started the lesson, but we were hardly listening.
angelina and alicia were paired in front of us, fred and george next to them, both pairs clearly not interested in the lesson. angelina was drawing her sketch of her ball dress for alicia, and on their left fred was scribbling some kind of shit on a small piece of paper.
i wrote to annie who had her chin in her hand staring into space
what’s weasley doing?
i tapped her with my quill and she looked down reading the note. she didn’t even look to see, and instead started writing.
what’s it to you? ;)
i rolled my eyes and groaned, moodys voice droning on in the background
you’re useless
she just drew a heart with the letters b+f in it and beamed her smile at me, tucking back her hair behind her ears. i draw a large x over the heart and she pouted.
that was when a small crane made of paper fluttered on my side of the desk, and i caught fred looking at me, moving his head in a way to encourage me to open it. I unfolded the crane, feeling slightly bad destroying the bird. written on the paper were the words
got a date to the ball yet? with a small winky face. this was weird, i was pretty sure there’s no way he could have found out that multiple people probably heard me say that we were going together, which is why my eyes widened as i read it.
to work out this i was willing to risk whispering
“rapunzel?”
“hm?” her eyes didn’t more from the front of the room
“in the time that it took for us to get from that arch to these seats you didn’t happen to tell fred that i accidently told stella we were going to the ball together did you?”
she wasn’t expecting that “um no, why?”
i just shook my head, she wouldnt be able to keep it together if i told her here, also maybe he wasn’t even asking me to go with him, at least i had experience there.
“no reason..” i looked back to fred who was still watching me waiting for my response. i shook my head and mouthed ‘nope’. he just nodded and turned back to his desk, writing on another scrap of paper.
theoretically, would i say yes if fred asked me? i mean i would, i kind of had no choice, and it would be incredibly convenient, and i wouldn’t have to deal with being nervous all night trying to impress my date. it would be nice to go with a friend, fred wouldn’t have been my first pick, but i watched him writing, and from angles he was actually quite attractive, maybe he would look good in a suit. my mind wandered to seeing fred in a suit and tie, when an identical crane flew to my desk.
i opened this one without looking at him this time, and there written was the question i had been expecting to hear, but just from a different boy
wanna go with me?
as friends
i looked up at fred and his eyes were on me, and he winked, that familiar smirk on his face.
i just wrote down my own response underneath his question, before scrunching the piece of paper into a ball. i would have done the crane, if i knew how, unfortunately i’d just have to go with the next best thing.
fred was now facing the front again, his chin in his hand, which seemed fo be the common position for students in this lesson.
“weasley” that was the loudest whisper i had ever attempted, but it got his attention and he turned to face me curls falling over his eyes. Fred’s freckles were lighter in the winter, but still a defining feature on his face, matching the red hair on his head. i imitated some kind of catching motion with my hands and he just nodded, quickly glancing to the front to ensure moodys eyes weren’t on us.
he held out his palms ready to catch and i threw the small paper ball at him, which landed perfectly in the centre of his hand.
Fred turned around and unfolded the piece of paper on his jest, reading over my written words.
don’t be late :)
he just smiled, and we both went back to looking at the lesson, without actually hearing it.