Remember the loneliness
Trying not to trip over any stones on the road, James drunkenly flirted with Lily who was muttering how annoyed she was by her boyfriend's childish behavior. Sirius laughed, thinking of the thousand and one heavy comments he could make to him the next day, even though he himself was not in his right mind. Lupin was dragging him along with difficulty, with the incipient fear of Sirius' possible vomit, which he could release at any moment. Peter caught up with them as they crossed the corner, he had just paid for all the booze and, from the look on his face, it seemed that it hadn't gone as cheaply as planned.
Lupin didn't drink regularly, much less before or after a full moon. He felt anxious, because it was only a couple of hours before he had to lock himself in and survive the night alone. It had been a while since he had spent it alone, since with his friends turned into animagus he could behave more human, but in those conditions, the best thing for everyone's safety was to leave James and Sirius; to rest.
“Relax, Moony, we're going to moderate ourselves” Sirius promised, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror before leaving, “Right Prongs? We're Quidditch players, do you have so little faith in us?! We won't go down that easy.”
He laughed to himself, because he didn't keep his promise and suffered the risks of excessive overestimation.
They arrived at Peter's house, where they were staying for New Year's Eve. He lived in a magical house, which looked, to Muggles, like a one-story home, but in reality, the staircase went all the way up to the third floor.
“Li… Lily” James whimpered, hitting the nearest wall.” Let's have a child, shall we?”
James latched onto Lily, using all the seductive powers he could muster at the moment. He grinned at her, gawking
“I like Harry if it's a boy…. Did you know that was my grandfather's name? He was a very stubborn old man!”
“But what nonsense are you talking, James? We're still too young to be having children,” Lily objected, helping her boyfriend. “You're too drunk.”
“I’m not, look, I'm in my senses… Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo” he muttered, flicking his wand at Lily, uselessly “Aah… Why doesn't it work? In the Muggle box, the girl becomes a princess.”
Lily wanted to say something about it, but Sirius' insult came first.
“Potter, you idiot. Didn't I teach you the move? It's smoother… Like this, look” Sirius waved his wand subtly, James mimicked him badly. At this point Lupin wondered which of the two was more drunk “You're a hopeless idiot!”
Remus, Lily, and Peter, managed to get the boys into the first room with two available beds. They put them on top and fell asleep the moment their heads hit the pillows. Satisfied, the three left the room already tired.
Lupin yawned, aware that he was in for an exhausting night.
“It's an hour to the full moon, Lupin” Lily said. “I'm sorry I can't help you with this transformation.”
“Don't worry, I'll be fine.”
Peter didn't dare spend the full moon alone (even in rat form) with Lupin. Excusing himself as being rather tired, he went to sleep. Lily stayed up for a while chatting about the day the five of them had just had.
“You have to lock me in the bathroom, Lily.”
“But I don't want to put the silver chains on you, I think it's too cruel!”
“Yeah, there's no other option, though. Without the boys to keep an eye on me, it's the only sane solution” he said. “Don't worry, I've been through worse moons. One more won't be relevant.”
“I have a bad feeling.”
Lupin didn't dare ask her what her doubts were about. For fear of what she might answer him. Lily poured him a full jug of ice water, while she drank some herbal tea.
During the wintry time of year. Not only were the transformations much more painful— Because his bones were deformed, as if they were breaking, sensing that was the feeling of a person with arthritis, only multiplied by a thousand— And his hungry wolf was looking for prey to make him feel better. At least his fur was strong, so he didn't suffer the ill effects of the cold.
He wouldn't tell Lily that, because he didn't need to either. He wondered, sometimes if their relationship would become close enough to stop keeping things like that from her.
He felt the usual tickle. It would be soon, really soon.
They climbed the stairs to the top floor. To the uninhabited attic bathroom. Lupin had a terrible migraine and just smelling the silver made him weaker.
“I'm sorry…”
With a key he locked the lock that fastened the chains to his ankles and wrists. That area burned, but it was tolerable. Lupin gave her a pained smile and Lily hugged him, unable to take her eyes off him. After hearing some painful screams, Lily came out of the bathroom.
He howled in despair as he caught a glimpse of the full moon. Her inner wolf materialized outside. He tore his clothes—A shame because it was his favorite shirt— and thrashed nervously against the floor tiles. The chains held him steady, so he couldn't escape. He broke the mirror and the shards of glass fell to the floor. He stepped on them, staining the floor with the blood from the cuts on his feet and hands.
He was hungry.
His animal instinct made him scratch himself. Howling for someone to find him, so he could be fed. The chains were firm, but something inside him knew he could do something to cut them.
The human Lupin no longer existed.
With a cracking sound. He threw off the annoying restraints, which held his ankles, with a loud slap against the shower rod. The ones on his hands were beyond saving. Now free, he ripped the door off with a loud jerk and slammed it against the old roof, shattering it and leaving him a large gap with which he could appreciate the coveted moon above him.
He howled for her.
He smelled magic in the house, taking a step, he exited the residence and left the city illuminated with artificial light. He wanted darkness and subtle prey. Tasty.
Lupin escaped, in the full moon. Hungry.
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