Chapter 4.
[Harry and Ron walk into the Entrance Hall with their belongings and pets, which they leave with the rest of the students' luggage.]
- Harry: See you, Hedwig! [he and Ron then run up the steps] So a house-elf shows up in my bedroom, we can't get through the barrier to Platform 9¾, we almost get killed by a tree... clearly someone doesn't want me here this year.
James nodded. "Who though?" Andromeda frowned.
"Perhaps Voldemort?" She suggested. Alice pursed her lips.
"Most likely not yet...maybe a follower of him?" She answered. Sirius glanced at Narcissa.
"Probably Lucius."
"Hey, he might not be who it is!"
"You're gonna sit here and tell me that he's not a Death Eater already?!"
"...so perhaps he is?! Lucius knows when to swear defeat! After all, he isn't in Azkaban, now is he?"
"Only caused he kissed ass."
"Sirius, so help me Merlin I'll-"
"'I'm Lucius Malfoy and I kiss ass, mwah mwah mwah.'"
Watching the two bicker, almost everybody was laughing.
[reaching the top of the stairs, they come face-to-face with the caretaker, Argus Filch and his pet cat, Mrs. Norris.]
Remus rolled his eyes. "God, they suck."
Filch: [glaring at them with a malicious smile] Well, take a good look, lads. This night might well be the last you spend in this castle.
"Expulsion really?!" Sirius exploded. "What did they do except 'drive' to school!"
"Sirius, they drove a flying-"
"Shut up Wormtail."
Filch: Oh, dear, we are in trouble. [he smiles more devilishly; moments later, Harry and Ron are standing in Severus Snape's classroom]
Snape: [holding up a newspaper article about their flying car at King's Cross Station] You were seen by no less than seven Muggles! [furiously throws the newspaper aside and glares at them] Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world. Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before you were born!
Remus flinched when the Whomping Willow was mentioned.
"Yeah, the tree has been there since before they were born, but it almost fucking killed them! Snape you're an asshole." Marlene argued. Severus rolled his eyes.
"I agree with my future self. Not only did they get seen by seven muggles, they also inflicted damage on a historic tree." He stated.
"Oh, cheer up a little you greasy git!" Sirius demanded.
"What, shall I play a prank?" Severus drawled. "Why don't you go to the Whomping Willow in five nights-"
Sirius, Remus and James paled.
"-I'm sure it'll be such a good time."
Ron: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
Peter nodded. "He's right." Sirius, Remus and James shifted uncomfortably, they hadn't regained their composure from Snape's comments.
Snape: Silence! [walking around his desk towards them] I assure you... that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight! As it is
Dumbledore: They are not. [Harry, Ron, Snape, and Filch turn towards the doorway to see Dumbledore standing there, accompanied by his associate, Professor McGonagall. Both of them are looking stern.]
Harry: [glancing at Dumbledore and McGonagall] Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall.
Snape: Headmaster, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. As such...
Dumbledore: I'm well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written more than a few myself. However, as Head of Gryffindor House, it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.
Ron: We'll go and get our stuff.
McGonagall: What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?
Ron: Well, you're going to expel us, aren't you?
McGonagall: Not today, Mr. Weasley. But I must impress upon both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight. And you will both receive detention.
Lily pumped her fist into the air. "They're not expelled!"
Severus however, scowled. "Typical Potter." He murmured under his breath. "Breaking the rules and getting no punishment for it."
- [The next day, the second year students are in the Herbology greenhouses as Professor Sprout enters.]
- Professor Sprout: Morning, everyone. [taps the stand to get everyone's attention] Good morning, everyone.
- Students: Good morning, Professor Sprout.
Professor Sprout: Welcome to Greenhouse Three, second years. Now, gather around, everyone. Todaywe're going to re-pot Mandrakes. [She grabs one.] Who here can tell me the properties of the Mandrake root? [Hermione raises her hand.] Yes Miss Granger?
"Wooo!" Lily cheered. "Hermione is back!"
Hermione: Mandrake, or Mandragora, is used to return those who have been petrified to their original state. [Professor Sprout nods, telling her to continue.] It is also quite dangerous. The Mandrake's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.
Professor Sprout: Excellent. 10 points to Gryffindor.
"Know it all." Sirius mumbled.
Professor Sprout: Now, as out Mandrakes are still only seedlings, their cries won't kill you yet, but they could knock you out for several hours, which is why I've given each of you a pair of earmuffs for auditory protection. So could you please put them on right away? [The students all scramble to put on their earmuffs.] Quickly. Flaps tight down, and watch me closely. You grasp your Mandrake firmly...you pull it sharply out of the pot-[the Mandrake starts high-pitched screaming and everyone puts their hands on their earmuffs.] Got it, now you dunk it down into the other pot and pour a little sprinkling of soil to keep him warm. [Neville faints.]
"What?!" Alice squeaked. "He had his earmuffs on...he did everything he was supposed to!" Frank crossed his arms.
"Is this really safe to be doing at Hogwarts? Maybe I need to have a chat with Dumbledore.." He continued.
Professor Sprout: Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs.
Seamus: No ma'am, he's just fainted.
Professor Sprout: Yes, well, just leave him there-
"What?!" Alice squeaked again. "I get my kid isn't as smart as Hermione, hell, even as talented as Harry but he still deserves respect!"
Professor Sprout: Right, on we go. Plenty of pots to go around. Grasp your Mandrake, and pull it up! [All the students do so. Ron's face scrunches up, whilst Hermione's shows signs of discomfort. Draco put his finger near the Mandrake's mouth, which processed to bite him. Draco pulls the finger out, and glares at the Mandrake.]
"What a child." Narcissa murmured, not impressed.
[Some time passed as Nearly Headless Nick was floating through the corridors.]
Boy: There's Nearly Headless Nick!
Nearly Headless Nick: Hello Percy. Miss Clearwater.
Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas.
[Nearly Headless Nick floats into the Grand hall, and the camera pans to Ron taping his wand up.]
"Hah!" Sirius barked. "He thinks-he thinks tape is going to fix his wand?!" Remus frowned.
"What other options does he have?"
[Ron looked sorrowfully at his wand.]
Ron: Say it. I'm doomed.
Harry: You're doomed.
Boy: Hi Harry! [He takes a picture as Harry blinks the light out of his eyes.]
Colin: I'm Colin Creevey. I'm in Gryffindor too.
"Great." Severus drawled. "He has fans now. Like he needs anything more to boost his ego."
Harry: Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you. [An owl shrieks.]
Dean: Ron, is that your owl? [Ron's owl flies in, and runs into a plate of food.]
Ron: Bloody bird's a menace. Oh no.
Seamus: Look everyone! Weasley's gotten himself a howler!
Neville: Go on Ron! I ignored one from my gran once. It was horrible. [Ron stares in horror at it, and finally starts to open it.]
The Howler: Ronald Weasley!
Instantly, everyone broke into laughs.
The Howler: How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted!
James sits up, and puts his hands on his hips. "'Absolutely disgusted!'" He mocked.
The Howler: Your father's now facing and inquiry at work, and it's entirely your fault!
"'En-entirely your fault!'" James wheezed, still mocking her.
The Howler: If you put another toe out of line, we'll bring you straight home!
"S-straight h-home!" James continued,
The Howler: Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud. [The camera pans to Ginny, who looks uncomfortable.]
"Yeah!" The Gryffindors cheered.
"We get Ron's little sister!" Sirius yelled.
[The Howler promptly ripped itself to shreds, leaving all at the table shocked.]