MTV, baby
The problem with Marlene was that one day she heard the phrase ‘do what makes you happy’ at a job prospects lecture in high school and decided to apply it to every aspect of her life. She didn’t believe in any of that bullshit people tried to sell about suffering being good for the soul or necessary or something. Marlene knew what it was like to suffer, and she would honestly go to embarrassing lengths to make sure it never happened again if she could help it. So in her mind, there were two categories of actions: things that made you happy and things that didn’t. She always chose the first option.
Some people in her life had attempted to label it as ‘trigger happy’, but Marlene didn’t really like the sound of that. It was true, however, that sometimes it felt like there was a little buzzer in her brain that lit up everytime she came across anything that would give her joy.
It had taken her to many difficult situations, the most obvious as of late being the one she currently found herself in, taking a drag of her cigarette on the balcony outside her rehearsal room.
“I’ve always wanted a fish but a small part of me is scared that fish tanks are animal abuse.”
From beside her, Dorcas laughed - a low, breathy sound. Rich, like caramel or honey. Marlene wanted to bathe in it. From the depths of her brain, the buzzer dinged like a reward.
So Marlene carried on, “I mean it just can’t be a life, right? I know that fish have small brains but like, doesn’t it just seem cruel to put one in a tiny tank for them to swim around for days and days on end? I’d go crazy if it were me.”
“You definitely would.” the other girl agreed.
She said it with such conviction that Marlene couldn’t help but be a little bit offended, “What, like you’d do much better.”
“I totally would.” Dorcas turned to look at the other girl, an eyebrow raised as if daring Marlene to test her.
“Oh really?” Marlene smirked, instinctively pulling a bit closer.
Dorcas hummed in response, taking her cigarette up to her lips. Marlene couldn’t help but follow the sight with her eyes. Dorcas held the cigarette elegantly, her fingers long and delicate. Watching her take a drag was like watching a still from a movie, everything deliberately placed, everything rendered to look the most beautiful it could. The warm glow of the cigarette end stood out against the steely, cold blue of the evening sky and the buildings behind her. Marlene almost wanted to pull away and sit as far away from Dorcas as possible, as if she was some work of art, something that should not be interfered with.
“You nervous? About the show?”
Marlene blinked in surprise, realising how lost in her own thoughts she had become. She really had to stop doing that.
She pulled back and shook her head, “MTV isn’t worth my nerves.”
“What, because they’re all posers?” Dorcas teased, putting an extra California emphasis on the last word.
Marlene huffed out a laugh, “No, it’s more about the people going and the vibe of the whole thing.” she stayed silent for a bit, trying to find the words to formulate what she wanted to say, “It’s just all so constricting, you know? People don’t just say what they want to say, they wrap it up in all this fancy language. You’re not supposed to say certain things or act in a certain way, and if someone’s being a dick you can’t just punch them and be done with it.”
“Really? You can’t just resort to physical violence?” Dorcas deadpanned.
“Apparently it’s not ladylike.” Marlene shrugged. She had to pull her eyes away from the way Dorcas’ shone with laughter. For someone who tried so hard to control her emotions, they spilled through any opportunity they could. It was sort of addictive, the little amount she revealed, always making Marlene want more, “I get it, it sounds all melodramatic, but it just bugs me.”
“Oh please, don’t start apologising for your melodrama now,” Dorcas smiled through cigarette smoke, “besides, feeling that way is a good thing.”
“Really?” Marlene replied disbelievingly.
“It means they haven’t turned you into one of them. It means they haven’t won.”
She stated it so simply that Marlene couldn’t look away from the other girl’s steady gaze, her eyes like two pools Marlene was ready to drown herself in. It happened at Charlie’s birthday, too, where Dorcas ignored Tony’s comment about her dramatics. But it was bound to come out eventually. Dorcas was bound to realise that Marlene wasn’t charming or bold, but attention-seeking and flighty. The cracks were already showing - hell, with Marlene they were always on full display - but she couldn’t let the other girl see past that, not when their friendship already meant a lot to her. Marlene couldn’t let the positives Dorcas saw in her reveal their true, ugly forms. Marlene thought that if she did, she didn’t know what she would do.
So she looked away and lit another cigarette.
That was their last session before the awards show, which kept Marlene and the band busy for the next couple of days with rehearsals, sound checks, and Frank’s gruelling media training - apparently, history had shown that they weren’t to be trusted at live events and Frank had gotten a personal warning to keep Gryffindor Tower in line.
Laurie had also called to let Marlene know that he couldn’t come as his plus one. His obsessive-compulsive had gotten particularly bad recently, and he didn’t think he would be able to stomach being in a room with hundreds of people. Marlene tried to push all her worries about that to the back of her mind, just as Laurie told her to do over the phone - she knew that it would just make him feel worse if she fussed over him.
The morning of the awards show, Marlene crept out of bed at eight o’clock and made her way downstairs. The morning sunlight filtered through the large windows of the house, illuminating everything in a serene glow. She dialled Lily’s number and held the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she snuck around the kitchen, trying not to make too much noise. Mary had gone out last night with Sirius for some model event for Gaultier or something and it was vital she be quiet for fear of incurring the wrath of one hungover Mary Macdonald.
Marlene heard the familiar click of the phone being picked up on the other end as she put bread in the toaster - just about the only kitchen-related activity she was allowed to do.
“You guys on your way?”
Lily’s voice came through the other end of the line, “Yep, and we bought breakfast with us.”
“You know me so well.”
“Unfortunately.”
After the call had ended, Marlene took the opportunity to dispose of the toast she had begun making, happy to be unburdened. She switched on the radio, putting it on low volume, and started setting the table. She liked these little pockets of domesticity her life offered her every once in a while.
The front door opened just as a Kinks song came on the radio - Sunny Afternoon - and four of the people Marlene loved most in the world tumbled through, giving her a distracted hug or smile on their way to drop their breakfast goods at the dining table.
“Is Mary still asleep?” Remus asked as he sat down on one of the chairs and began sifting through the brown paper bag of warm baked goods.
“Yep.”
“Sirius is the same. An Earthquake could’ve happened and he would have stayed sleeping.”
Lily had made her way to the coffee machine and was making everyone a batch.
“Is everything on for the performance tonight?” Peter asked, “I hate to be that guy, I’ve been told by the higher ups to gently remind you that this is a serious event. No pranks.”
He said all of this with a completely straight face. From his expression, you would have had no idea that Pete was the brains behind a lot of the operations, almost always goading them on to take everything to the next level - the Rita Skeeter prank was his idea.
“You have nothing to worry about, Petey,” James swung in, clapping him on the back, “We have moved past our childish ways.”
“Have you really?” Peter questioned slyly with a coffee cup halfway to his mouth.
“Uh-huh,” James smiled innocently, “Sirius and I spent last weekend shopping for kitchenware,”
“I have started crocheting and I have been thinking about death a lot.” Lily added as she went around the table filling up everyone else’s cup with coffee.
“I have sincerely used the phrase ‘back in my day’ at least once in the last twenty-four hours,” Remus pointed out.
Marlene joined in, “I actually pay my taxes now.”
Peter looked at them for a beat and then sighed, “Forget I asked.”
“Okay now onto the second order of business,” Lily took over, sitting down in front of Marlene and picking out a cherry danish for herself, “We need to call Alice - something about the performance tonight.”
Marlene got up and dialled their agent, bringing the dark green phone to the table with her as she walked back. They all sat around in comfortable silence as they ate their breakfast, listening to the phone ringing as they waited for Alice to pick up.
Alice Fortescue was honestly a godsend, as was Frank. Marlene trusted them both wholeheartedly, which was not something that could be said of most agents and publicists - or really anyone who worked in the industry.
“Hello?” Alice’s voice rang out with its usual cheer.
“Hey, Alice.” Lily spoke up, “I’m with the band now, plus Pete. You wanted to talk to us?”
“Oh, yep! Hang on a sec, let me get Minnie on the line.”
Marlene smiled despite herself; only Alice was able to call her that and come out unscathed. There was a small click on the other end of the line.
“Okay, I got her here.” Alice carried on, “So, I got a call from the MTV people this morning to let me know that another band pulled out last minute and so they thought it best to rearrange the schedule and have a pre-existing band play two songs instead of going through the hassle of finding a new band and drawing up another contract and so on. They asked if you guys were up for it. I told them I’d let them know by midday.”
All of them looked around to one another, trying to telepathically communicate. It would be a rush, but Marlene thought that they knew each other well enough by this point to pull something off with little rehearsal, especially with the amount of improvisations they did during concerts. James looked up for it, and so did Remus although to a lesser degree, but Lily didn’t look all that convinced.
“What would we play?” she asked Alice.
“Whatever you guys wanted to, although it would probably be best to either play something off the new album or one of the oldies, from the first few albums. Better not to play something they’ve heard too recently.”
Lily looked up to Marlene with a look of vague concern.
“If I have to play Under The Bridge one more time I will genuinely jump off the stage…” Remus grumbled.
Marlene hadn’t really thought of that, but a small lump formed in her throat. None of the new songs were ready, and all of the early songs brought back old memories that she found it hard to be reminded of.
“Yeah, I think it’s better not to deviate too much from the plan.” Lily agreed.
Minerva spoke up for the first time in the call, her voice quiet and yet stern, confident, “A word of warning, however, this does mean that MTV will give the opportunity to someone else, someone who will most likely be your competition. You’ve never been on their good side so it’s a miracle they even asked you in the first place.”
James beamed a proud smile at Marlene, which she mirrored, agreeing with the sentiment - their pranks were funny, even if it did make them a few enemies. However, Minerva’s advice wasn’t completely redundant. The truth was that even with their popularity, they needed to maintain good connections with other people in the industry.
From his corner of the table, Peter piped up, “Well, what if we take the spot but let another band play, one that we aren’t in competition with.”
“We’re in competition with everyone.” Marlene quipped back immediately.
“Not with Salazar.”
They all turned to look at him, cogs working simultaneously in their brains. It was true that they weren’t in direct competition with their band.
“Could they play on such short notice?” Alice asked over the phone.
“Definitely.” James assured them, suspiciously confident. Marlene didn’t know how, though. They would only have a few hours to rehearse.
Minerva spoke up again, “Alice, can we get Frank on the line?”
“Of course.” the girl replied sweetly, abruptly changing her tone, “Frank! Get the fuck over here!”
A few seconds later, Frank’s voice came through the speakerphone, “What’s up?”
“The band were thinking of giving the extra MTV slot to Salazar,” Minerva informed him, “Any thoughts on that from the publicity side of things?”
Sometimes Marlene forgot that there was a whole business that surrounded them and the band - that they themselves were a business, instead of just four kids fucking about on instruments.
“Ummm, nothing negative. In fact, it would probably look quite nice on your end, and it would boost their band a lot. Plus, everyone likes the whole Sirius and Regulus dynamic between your bands, so it will be sure to generate press.”
Marlene scrunched her nose.
“I can hear your disdain from here, but it’s true. Never underestimate the media.”
“We know, Frank, and we’re nothing but grateful,” Lily smiled, “We’re just pretentious. Can’t help it.”
Remus held up his mug of coffee to cheer with Marlene at that.
Minerva and Alice kept discussing the business side of things with Frank, but soon the five of them in the kitchen were distracted by the sound of angry whispering coming from the entrance hall.
“You just have to press the red buzzer to make sure that the gate will be open by the time you want to get out - no, not that one. The red one. Well that one’s not red, is it? It’s fucking blue. Wow, I don’t usually believe the dumb model stereotype but this is impressive. Yes, that’s the red one. You just press it and-”
Mary was cut short as she stepped forward into view from the kitchen, wearing nothing but a light pink silk dressing gown and a matching bonnet. When she realised she could be seen she turned around and threw a dazzling smile, trying her hardest to seem composed and like she hadn’t just been caught out.
“What’s up guys?” She tried to lean casually on the kitchen island.
“We should say the same thing, Macdonald.” James grinned, “Who was that?”
“Oh, you know…” she tried to act coy, mumbling some name under her breath, sneaking a glance at Lily whose face was completely unreadable.
Marlene probably would have had more patience in her system if she hadn’t had to deal with this type of thing for around five years now. There was also the added problem that she wasn’t naturally a patient person either.
“Sorry, what was that?” Marlene insisted, “I couldn’t hear you.”
From under the table, Remus kicked her in the shin.
With a small glare shot Marlene’s way, Mary repeated the name but this time a lot more clearly, “… Benjy Fenwick.”
“Benjy Fenwick?” James repeated, astonished, “Like the super hot Calvin Klein model?”
James’ obliviousness almost made Marlene burst out laughing as three pairs of eyes turned to glare at him.
“You say that as if you’re not in the presence of a super hot model every day.” Mary tried to play it off, grabbing a pastry from the table casually.
“I’m not with Sirius every day.”
“I meant me.” Mary poked him in retaliation.
“Well,” Marlene joined in, “You’ve got to admit that the awe of living with a supermodel sort of wears off after a while.”
“I resent that.”
“Don’t. It will give you wrinkles.”
“Sorry, did I hear the name Benjy Fenwick?” Alice’s voice interrupted them.
“Yes and as nice as it has been to be a fly on the wall to your conversation,” Minerva took over, voice dripping with sarcasm, “I have other things to do so let’s end this call now.”
“Wait, but I need to hear about Benjy-“
Before poor Alice could go on, the line went dead.
“That was harsh.” Remus commented.
“It’s okay. I’ll call her later and fill her in.” Lily responded, voice unusually sharp.
Whilst Marlene was a floodgate perpetually waiting to burst, the engineers that had built Mary and Lily’s defences had clearly known what they were doing. They were good at packaging up their emotions and hiding them away - at least, in comparison to Marlene, which wasn’t saying much. Maybe they were all just a highly emotional group. Maybe Marlene had no objective view of the whole thing.
Remus got up to pour himself another cup of coffee and Mary took his place, occasionally sneaking glances at Lily who was eating her food, deep in thought. James volunteered to call Regulus to ask the band if they would be up for playing tonight. Marlene really hoped that they would. It would mean that Dorcas would be able to see the live performance that she had worked so hard helping Marlene with.
Lily, James, Peter, and Remus left a little while after that, each having to go to their own houses to get ready. The makeup and hair team came around midday, resulting in Mary and Marlene sitting in a chair in the living room for hours. Mary kept asking assistants to make her all types of hangover concoctions, chugging them down in the hopes that she would instantly feel better. All they did was talk for hours and hours - their speciality - probably giving the hair and makeup stylists enough gossip about Hollywood to last a lifetime.
The stylists had put Marlene in a lilac strappy dress covered in lace mesh that deconstructed it’s way down her arms and was cut just above her knee at an angle. Mary’s dress was a lot less messy, much more clean. It was light pink with small strips of glitter winding its way around the dress like pieces of string.
After the hair and makeup team left, Mary decided that a pregame was necessary because “there is just something so special about drinking wine from the bottle in a thousand dollar dress.” and Marlene agreed. They pretended they were jilted lovers, drinking to drown their sorrows away.
That was the state in which the rest of the guys found them when they came, James, Sirius and Peter immediately joining in whilst Lily and Remus commentated from afar. Lily’s dress was similarly cut at an angle like Marlene’s, except it was light blue and embroidered with sequins. The boys all wore various suits inspired by rock stars from the 70s, so that they looked like a forgotten boy band from the past. James went shirtless under his suit, which Marlene had to admit was a bit obnoxious even for him. Marlene really liked her dress, so she refrained from asking Sirius to switch clothes as they had done multiple times in the past. A few glasses of wine later, they spilled into the black limo that was waiting for them outside.
When they arrived at the red carpet, the sound of cameras flashing was deafening. Any humble celebrity would probably tell you that they hated red carpets and that it made them all nervous, but Marlene wasn’t a humble celebrity. She loved red carpets. She loved the way in which every head turned to look at her as soon as she stepped out. It was intoxicating, the way in which they could control a crowd.
As they walked down the carpet, the steady stream of photographs got louder and louder as more photographers looked their way. There were already a few celebrities on the red carpet, but everything sort of stopped as soon as they walked in, the cameras focusing on them instead. Marlene tried not to let it get to her head and failed spectacularly.
“Marlene!” someone shouted from the indistinguishable mass of paparazzi, “Are you seeing anyone new?”
“Any comment on the relationship rumours surrounding you and your bandmate Lily Evans?”
“Is it true that you dated one of the Kennedys?”
“Well, ‘date’ is a bit of a formal term…” Marlene answered with a smirk, walking away.
It caught Marlene’s attention that a lot of the paparazzi had started pointing at another spot on the carpet and she assumed it was another celebrity that had arrived. That was until Mary brushed past her.
“Just don’t go all brain dead in front of the cameras.” she whispered, clearly trying to hide a smile.
Before Marlene had time to respond, she looked past Mary to see Dorcas and promptly understood what the other girl was talking about.
Dorcas was posing with the rest of the band in a sleek and simple white dress. It was floor-length and trailed behind her in a small train as she walked. She looked poised, elegant, as she placed a hand on her hip for the cameras. The other girl turned around for an over-the-shoulder shot, revealing the back of her dress which had been cut to look like a spider web. Marlene thought she might have been malfunctioning, that her eyes were never supposed to see someone this beautiful in person.
A sharp tug on her arm brought her out of her state of hypnosis, right into a group interview.
A small, elvish looking girl was grinning at them with a microphone, “So how do you guys feel about your chances tonight - you’re up for best group, right?”
With all the performance rehearsals, Marlene had almost forgotten that they were actually there to compete for an award, not just to play their new song. Her mind was still preoccupied with Dorcas, so she found it hard to respond.
Lily - the best with interviews, generally, unless she was in a really awful mood in which case none of them were safe - gave the standard media-friendly answer, “We’re just here to have fun and see a bunch of great artists perform. If we end up winning an award, that’s a plus, but we’re not here for just that.”
Remus gave a low whistle in reply as James gave her a thumbs up, teasing her for the media-trained answer.
With a hand on James’ shoulder, Marlene leant over to speak into the microphone, “Make sure to remind them that we’re all for world peace, too.”
James nodded sagely.
Clearly unsure what to do with the band’s particular strain of humour, the reporter just smiled blankly, pushing through, “And I hear you guys have an album coming out in the near future, would you guys like to tell us anymore about that?”
“Over a round of drinks, sure.” Lily smiled - that smile that often made women’s pants dropped almost instantly - as she leaned closer to the other girl flirtatiously. The interviewer blushed.
Since she wasn’t paying attention, Marlene stole the microphone and instead placed it in front of her, signalling to the cameraman to follow her lead.
“So guys,” she began as Remus and James huddled on either side of her, faces completely serious, “Let’s each go around in a circle and tell our favourite embarrassing story of Lily Evans-”
A hand suddenly appeared in front of her, grabbing the microphone and giving it back to the interviewer.
“Can’t trust you guys with anything…” a frustrated Frank grumbled as he smiled at the camera people and pushed the band along the carpet, towards the entrance of the awards ceremony hall.
“Aw, you love us really, Frank.” James beamed. The other boy rolled his eyes, but didn’t say no.
“There you guys are!” Sirius greeted as he joined them with Mary, “Where have you been?”
“Terrorising interviewers.” Frank replied flatly.
“Cool!” Sirius grinned.
Frank tried to hide his smile by rolling his eyes, telling them all to continue through the double doors that led inside. The hall was a huge sort of amphitheatre that had been hollowed out and replaced with round dining tables covered in white tablecloths and silverware. The room was dark, the electric blue lighting from the spotlights on the stage being the only thing to illuminate their way. They had come relatively late, so the hall was already filled with people milling about and getting to their tables.
Alice directed them towards a table at the front. Marlene made her way over there, throwing polite smiles at all her previous one-night-stands or short, failed relationships. That was another reason she didn’t like award shows like this - although she didn’t tell Dorcas for obvious reasons - because it was essentially a reunion of all the exes Marlene had wronged.
“Wow, it’s like a journey to the past.” Sirius marvelled teasingly at Marlene.
“It’s uncanny.” she replied with not much humour as they all sat down at the table.
It’s all fine, she thought, as long as Dorcas and those guys don’t sit next to us.
She turned around just as Dorcas slipped into the seat next to her.
Well, shit.
“How’s it going?” Marlene tried for casual, but ended up sounding cold instead.
“Fucking stressful.” Dorcas sighed, monotone, “We have spent the last six hours rehearsing, I barely had time to get ready.”
“Really? Well you look great.” Marlene blurted out, “Ummm - I mean, like, I wouldn’t have noticed.” she tried to shrug it off.
“Thanks.” was all Dorcas said, a small smile in her voice. Marlene hoped that was a good thing.
As the award show started, Marlene began commentating to Dorcas, giving opinions on the acts and telling her behind-the-scenes gossip. It was mostly an excuse for Marlene to get closer to the other girl, leaning to whisper to her, but it was also a way to let Dorcas into her life in a sense. It was easy to forget, being holed up in the recording studio for weeks on end, but this had essentially been Marlene’s life for the past six years. She had grown up with these people, going to the same award shows and parties for years on end.
Every time she spoke, Dorcas looked at her, giving Marlene her full attention. Even when Marlene signalled towards the band or started using her hands animatedly, she didn’t look away. It made it hard for Marlene to focus and not be distracted. Dorcas was all sharp angles and high cheekbones except for her eyes. Those were soft and large, like a doe’s.
It was then that Marlene noticed everyone else’s eyes on them - or rather, the girl in front of her. A warm glow filled her chest. Here Dorcas was, in a room full of people who were practically tripping over themselves to talk to her and get her attention, and she was looking at her.
Their little bubble was abruptly broken by Alice, who signalled to them to get up and start getting ready. They said goodbye to Mary and Sirius, the latter of whom threw a wink to Remus, who smiled and almost tripped on a chair.
“You’re not on for half an hour,” Alice began once they had passed the door that led backstage, “But you have to get into the clothing and make sure everything is in order. You guys will take the first slot,” she pointed at Lily and then turned around to Regulus and the band behind them, “And you guys will be taking the second slot.”
All of them nodded as they were herded into various stage rooms. Gryffindor Tower were pushed through a grey door, revealing a small room with four makeup stands for them to sit in, each adorned with a bright ring of vanity lights around the mirrors. All of the available surface area was covered in stacks of various makeup palettes and brushes, so that Marlene made sure to sit very still so that she didn’t knock any of them over.
Their head stylist, Sybil Trelawney, fluttered into the room. Marlene smiled at her and the other girl blushed.
“For shame!” James chastised with a smile at Marlene, who turned and looked at him with innocent eyes.
She and Sybil had been a thing a while ago, before Sybil ended up breaking things off so that she could focus on her career as their stylist. Marlene hadn’t been particularly heartbroken about it and so the split had been amicable. Still, flirting with Sybil was always fun, so Marlene couldn’t resist.
Sybil signalled towards a rack at the back of the room which contained each of the band’s outfits for her assistants to hand out to the corresponding member. She had decided very early on that she would take inspiration from the British Victorian era for their outfits no matter the song they played and whether it had anything to do with the theme. As a result, Marlene’s dress ended up being some sort of sexy take on a Victorian wedding dress. It was white and made out of silk, with white gloves that stretched high above the elbows - Sybil had to assure her multiple times that she could still play the bass with them on. It had a tight, corset-shape around the top half, which Marlene had to squeeze to fit into. The skirt was cut short, so that the silk and tulle was scrunched high on her thighs.
“Your boobs look great.” Lily commented after Marlene had put the dress on. It was true, the corset-fit really did wonders for them.
Lily was wearing a black waistcoat and a pair of off-white boxers. Her hair, like Marlene’s, was completely messy. In short, she looked hot. Well, they all did. Remus was wearing a dark black suit with an off-white shirt, also sporting a black waistcoat like Lily, but in a more 70s style than Sybil probably intended. Next to him, James was wearing a similar off-white shirt, as well as matching boxers. They all looked dishevelled, like they had left their houses in perfect condition but had gotten trampled in a stampede on the way there, with smokey black eyeshadow.
“Perfect!” Sybil grinned as she looked at them all.
They were ushered backstage, where they were told they had ten minutes until their performance by the backstage manager.
James clapped his hands and turned to all of them, “Okay, you guys know the drill: one thing you’re excited about and one thing you’re nervous about.”
They all nodded, coming up with their answers. It had become their pre-show tradition ever since Emmeline suggested it six years ago. It was just a small thing, but it made Marlene happy to think that they were taking a small bit of her with them every time they went on stage, that she didn’t miss out on anything.
Lily began, “I’m excited to be playing our new song and I’m nervous about us hitting the tempo change in unison.”
It was Remus who went next, “I’m excited about watching Marlene play the bass,” he looked at her with a sly smile which she returned by flipping him off, “And I am nervous about playing the guitar.”
It was Marlene’s turn so she spoke up, “I am excited to just fucking perform, and I’m nervous about how I’m going to fend off all the ladies that throw themselves at me after they’ve seen me perform.”
“That doesn’t count!” James refuted.
“What do you mean? Of course it does,” Marlene defended herself with a serious expression, “It genuinely fills my stomach with dread to think of how I’m going to let down all those women who are just begging to-”
“Okay, we get it.”
“Just because you can’t relate, James, doesn’t make it less of a very real struggle for the rest of us.”
James rolled his eyes, but carried on, “I’m excited to see how sick the tempo change is going to be and I’m nervous about whether Marls will make an idiot of herself on the bass.”
Marlene just stuck her tongue out at him.
She was soon distracted by a familiar voice that sounded behind her, “Any advice for my first time on an LA stage?”
Marlene thought back to the first time she set foot on an LA stage, “Uh, drugs?”
Marlene turned around to see Dorcas. Despite her words, she could find not an inch of nerves on her face. She had changed into a dark green lacey top and ruffled bloomers, with cross necklaces and ribbons tied haphazardly to her locs. Marlene couldn’t focus too long on her body without entering a state of hypnosis, so she decided to keep her eye level above the other girl’s shoulders. The same could not be said for Dorcas.
“You look… ummm…” Dorcas’ words faltered.
“Yeah?” Marlene grinned, feeling way too good about herself. It was definitely all because of the dress, but at least it caused a reaction - not an easy thing with Dorcas.
“Yeah.”
“My advice is honestly just to take everything in your stride. No one wants to watch someone who is shy, they want to watch someone who puts on a show. Fake it ‘till you make it.” Marlene answered sincerely.
Dorcas smiled at the other girl - a sincere, warm smile.
“Good luck Mckinnon.”
“Won’t need it, Meadowes.” Marlene smirked back, turning to make her way to the stage as the presenter called their name.
When she walked out, the spotlights prevented her from seeing anyone in the crowd, but Marlene didn’t have to see them in order to know how excited they were - she could hear them. The screams from the crowd were almost deafening. Despite this, they were like music to Marlene’s ears; a wall of sound that let her know that they were all paying attention.
Marlene looked over to James, who was grinning from ear to ear from his spot behind the drums, a true adrenaline junkie. Not that Marlene was any better, or really any of the band, because being on stage was genuinely addictive, like a rush to the system. ‘Do what makes you happy’ they had said, and Marlene took it to heart. For a moment, she lost herself in the sound of hundreds of people shouting her name.
Then she looked down at her guitar and some scrawly words on its neck caught her attention.
‘Marlene Mckinnon unfortunately couldn’t give less of a fuck about what Dorcas Meadowes thinks’
It wasn’t true then and it wasn’t true now.
She looked towards Dorcas backstage, who was looking at her from the wings with a condescending smirk as if she knew how much Marlene was enjoying the attention. She caught her gaze and, emboldened by the praise from the crowd, Marlene threw her a wink, before turning back and strumming down the first note of the song.