Scar Tissue

“I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!”

“Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!”

“You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere...”

“Imagination...”

“... I swear to fuck if you make me sing this-”

Regulus was met with booing and heckling as he continued to look forward as he drove the car, unimpressed.

“Well now you fucking ruined it. Well done Reg.” Evan grumbled as Barty leaned forward in his seat to flick the boy on the side of the head. 

Dorcas rolled her eyes in the backseat of the car. With a smirk, she looked over at Regulus. Slowly, without looking at the girl, she said “Pandora, why don’t you do that thing where you hold your breath until someone does what you say?”

Without further encouragement, Pandora took a deep breath with a happy smile. Beside her, Barty mirrored Dorcas’ smugness. The girl would genuinely hold her breath until passing out - they had seen her do it before. 

Regulus rolled his eyes, waiting a few seconds before reluctantly mumbling out “Dress me up, make it tight, I’m your dolly…”

Their cheers were almost deafening. 

“You’re my what, Reg? Dolly, did you say?” Barty teased. Without looking back, Regulus flipped him the finger. 

“God… ‘make it tight’? That’s a little inappropriate.” Dorcas chastised.

“I appreciate your interesting take on the patriarchal structures that only deem women valuable if they are fuckable, though.” Pandora conceded in that calm, whimsical manner of hers, “It’s a really fresh take.”

“Oh, definitely.” Evan agreed, “You have such a way with words.”

“Regulus, how do we solve racism?” Barty asked mock-earnestly. 

“Regulus, what is your advice on taking down the capitalist system?” Dorcas added. 

“Regulus, why-”

“If you don’t shut up I’m going to make this car crash at such an angle that all of you die and I live.” Regulus interrupted, calm but menacingly. “Don’t upset someone when you quite literally have your life in their hands.”

Of course, his little speech had no effect whatsoever. 

Even though they promised Regulus not to blackmail him using Pandora, they continued to try and get him to join in with the songs. Eventually, they realised he wasn’t going to. Instead, they changed tactics and played songs that would progressively make him more and more annoyed. After the third time in a row playing Achy Breaky Heart,their music privileges were confiscated. It was their turn to be tortured, and they had to listen to Regulus’ depressing music for the rest of the car ride. In all honesty, it was probably the best course of action - making him annoyed would only make his driving worse, which was a terrifying prospect considering the fact that he already swerved cars to overtake them constantly and treated speed limits as suggestions.

After a while, the houses around them started getting bigger and bigger and the number of luxury cars sitting in driveways went up exponentially and so Dorcas knew they had reached the Hollywood Hills.

“Thank god we’re close.” she commented, “Any more of this music and I would have jumped in front of a moving vehicle.”

“Well there’s no reason it can’t be this moving vehicle.” Regulus offered placidly. 

They took a left and were greeted by a small, secluded passage with a cobblestone road. At the end of it was a large iron gate and a small side-booth with a security guy sat inside. 

Dorcas obviously had never forgotten the fact that Gryffindor Tower were celebrities - the alarming amount of paparazzi that swarmed them anytime they were spotted outside made it hard to forget - but it was just that over the past few weeks she had come to think of it as much more of an afterthought. Sometimes, she got whiplash when she saw one of their faces on the cover of a magazine. They were always portrayed as much more of a two-dimensional spectacle than they really were. Sure, she had seen Remus Lupin snort a line off of his bass guitar, but she had also seen him curled up next to Sirius on the couch with a mug of tea held up to his chest for warmth. They were real people.

So being reminded of just how wealthy and famous they were was sometimes a bit of a shock. It felt so out of place to have to tell the security guy their names and have him check a list to see if they were expected. It was odd to remember that a lot of people would probably kill to be in as close proximity to Sirius and his friends as Dorcas was. 

Once they were let through the gates, they parked in the driveway. James and Peter’s house was, to put it bluntly, fucking huge. Dorcas swore never to show them the small shoebox apartment they were living in, if this was the type of house they were used to. It had modern touches, with large glass window panes and wood panelling. The whole house was surrounded by foliage and trees, which were lit up by blue and green lights - something Dorcas always took to be the ultimate sign of wealth. As they got out of the car, a light green mini pulled up into the driveway revealing a smiling Lily Evans. 

“How was the ride over?” she asked goodnaturedly as they all made their way to the front door. 

“Good.” Dorcas replied, “Although Regulus wouldn’t let us play anything other than barbie girl. It was so annoying.”

Next to her, the boy in question raised an eyebrow, “Lying is a sin, Meadowes.”

“You’re right.” Dorcas nodded, “I shouldn’t have put you in a situation where you would be forced to not tell the truth in order to protect your reputation. I’m sorry. Truly.”

She smiled at the glare he shot her. 

“I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed. Your singing voice is lovely,” Dorcas carried on.

“Oh, he sang Barbie Girl?” Lily joined in, sharing a look with Dorcas. 

“It was quite the serenade.” she hummed.

Lily laughed into her hand at the look of pure hatred on Regulus’ face. 

“Maybe we can get him to repeat his performance after dinner.” the other girl suggested. 

“I hate you.” Regulus announced before turning around and walking with Pandora instead. 

“Don’t think that the bullying will stop just because you’re with Dora now!” she called out behind her. She shared a look with Pandora, who grinned. 

The front door was tucked away beside a small walkway surrounded on either side by plants. When they reached it, Lily rang the doorbell. 

This was the type of place Dorcas wanted to live - well, not this type of place. She had more style. But something as big as this. Dorcas just needed to play her cards right. She needed to put on a show other people couldn’t ignore. She needed to make sure she was the girl that people left the party thinking about. 

Remus opened the door. 

“Thank god you guys are here.” he sighed in relief, “I was being made fun of for my dancing skills.” 

“Without me?” Lily gasped in mock offence as she pulled the boy in for a hug. 

“Where should I put these?” Pandora asked after they had all finished greeting each other. She lifted up the two bottles of wine they had brought over.

One thing about hanging out with a bunch of rich kids was that they always insisted on bringing a gift whenever they got invited over. Back in high school, Dorcas’ mom had to ask them to stop buying boxes of chocolates whenever they came around because they were starting to run out of room in the cupboards. 

“In the kitchen. It’s to your left.” Remus replied. 

Wordlessly, Pandora nodded, giving the two bottles to Dorcas before heading towards the living room where the rest of the group were filtering off. 

“One day you’ll stop being pretty and then I won’t do things for you anymore!” Dorcas shouted as the other girl walked away. Pandora just threw a smug smile behind her shoulder. 

“I need a drink.” Regulus let out.

They both made their way to the kitchen. Inside, they saw Sirius and Marlene standing stock-still a good few feet away from the stove. They were sort of clinging onto each other, like they were in front of a rabid animal that would turn feral with any sudden movements. They genuinely looked like they had turned into statues. 

“What are you doing?” Regulus asked, unimpressed but definitely amused. 

Both of them jumped in shock. Marlene went tense, holding the spoon with an iron grip. Sirius turned around with a hand on his chest to steady himself.

“Reggie! You scared the shit out of me!” He looked scandalised. Honestly, the Black family flair for the dramatic was creepily strong, “How long have you guys been here?”

“Long enough to have a vivid image of you terrified of a pot of sauce for the rest of my life.” 

“Ha-ha.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “Do you know where James is? I have to return something.”

To anyone other than Dorcas, his tone may have appeared one of sheer indifference. But years of friendship with Regulus never-communicates-his-feelings Black had made her very good at reading his body language. He definitely was not indifferent - and he probably thought he was being so slick. Dorcas decided she wasn’t going to mention it yet. She was going to wait for him to come to her. 

“He’s at the store right now, but you could probably just put it back on his desk.” Sirius replied oh so helpfully, with a blank smile.

“Which is…?”

“In his room.” Sirius clarified. 

Maybe the incest genes came with some sort of stunted brain growth, Dorcas thought. 

“Okay but where is his room, Sirius?” Regulus repeated in the same way you would speak to a child.

“Oh! I’ll show you.” he waved his hand dismissively, as if Regulus should have just asked that the first time and turned back to Marlene, who hadn’t moved an inch from where she was standing before, “Can you hold down the fort alone?”

“I mean sure, but if the sauce gets ruined I’m blaming it on you, okay?” 

Because Dorcas was finding it incredibly funny just how frightened of a pot of sauce Marlene could be, she offered to stay and keep her company. She put down the bottles of wine on the kitchen island in front of her.  

“Thanks, Cas.” Sirius replied as he started walking away. He looked at Dorcas solemnly and carried on in a condescending tone, “Just keep an eye on her - she’s not the best at cooking.”

Without turning around, Marlene flipped him off. Sirius just smiled gleefully and left the kitchen. Regulus followed him, but not without giving Dorcas a smirk and a knowing look. A knowing look of what, Dorcas couldn’t really figure out. But sometimes they both did that to each other just to freak the other person out, so she paid it no mind and turned to look at Marlene. 

She was staring at the pot in concentration, brow furrowed. She looked perfectly fine, despite the slight worry Dorcas had felt after the phone conversation yesterday. Marlene had clearly been drunk.

“So are you ever gonna tell me why you didn’t come yesterday?” Dorcas tried to play it off coolly, but underneath she was curious.

“Hmmm… probably not.” the other girl replied without looking up. 

Great. Were they really back to this whole ‘freezing each other out thing’? It was clear they were never going to be friends, but couldn’t they just be civil? Dorcas thought they had reached a semblance of civility the other day. She was sort of tired of having to put her guard up around the other girl.

Almost as if she was hearing her thoughts and wanted to prove her wrong, Marlene looked up and smirked, “Why, did you sit around all day waiting for me to come?” 

Better. Dorcas leant back on the counter as she locked eyes with the other girl. She hadn’t really realised just how unfairly pretty they were. They looked like they had been cut from a crystal, with light and dark browns speckled throughout. People probably told her that all the time. No wonder Marlene walked around with an ego the size of a fucking castle.

“Not at all. I just think I could have saved myself the trouble of having to prepare myself mentally in order to spend time with you.” Dorcas sighed, “It usually takes a whole day.”

“So you spent the whole day thinking of me?” the other girl fluttered her eyelashes. 

“I know, it’s horrible, isn’t it?”

The other girl laughed in a way that looked completely unintentional. Dorcas liked the sound. It felt like a prize. Like she had just won whatever conversation they were just having. 

Dorcas decided to rub it in, “So, you can’t play the bass guitar or cook. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found flaws in Marlene Mckinnon.”

“Yeah, well, at least one of my flaws isn’t songwriter’s block.” Marlene hit back.

Wow. Dorcas had clearly hit a nerve. 

It made her feel kind of powerful. 

“At least one of my flaws isn’t being a total bitch.” she replied casually.

“I wouldn’t really call it a flaw...” the other girl began in a much more calm manner, like whatever had made her lash out was completely forgotten, “I mean, coming up with insults in such a high-pressure environment really isn’t easy. It’s more like a skill.”

“High-pressure, as in, keeping an eye on a pot of pasta sauce?” she teased.

Dorcas wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of laughing… it was just that not being able to cook at all was just… so Marlene. 

“I don’t think you realise how bad my cooking skills are.” the other girl went back to stirring the sauce, “I mean, Mary literally doesn’t let me cook at home. We have a deal that I water the plants and she cooks.” 

“Why can’t she water the plants?”

“Plants hate her. They seem to wither and die simply by being around her too much.” 

For all her flaws, Marlene always kept a conversation interesting. Talking to her felt different than talking to most people. It was probably the fact that they didn’t like each other - they could say whatever they wanted. Dorcas didn’t have to do anything to make Marlene like her. It was oddly relaxing. 

“Maybe she just has a really bad aura around her.” 

“I said that!” Marlene widened her eyes with such excitement that Dorcas felt a smile come onto her own immediately, “I bought her this aura-cleansing spell thing from the flea market I used to always go to as a child - I still go, sometimes -”

Of course she did.

“-and we did it but it didn’t seem to work very well.”

Of course it didn’t.

“I am shocked.” Dorcas deadpanned. 

A bubble popping caused Marlene to jump back like a startled animal. Dorcas, sort of cruelly, started laughing at the genuine look of distress on the other girl’s face. 

“How’s the sauce doing?”

Peter’s voice seemed to force a wave of relief over Marlene’s face as she mumbled a grateful thanks at him being there and quickly backed away from the pot. Dorcas met Marlene’s eyes. She still looked like she hadn’t recovered. Dorcas couldn’t help the smile that came onto her face. 

“Sorry I took so long,” Peter rambled as he tasted the sauce, “I had to take Evan to the bathroom.”

“You… what?” Marlene asked, confused. 

“He’s unable to follow any type of instructions,” Dorcas explained, “He genuinely wouldn’t have gotten there otherwise.”

“Yeah, that’s what he told me.” Peter nodded.

Their conversation was interrupted by the loud voices of James and Mary coming into the room bringing grocery bags. 

“What the hell?” Mary exclaimed, looking at the wine bottles Dorcas had brought, “The only reason we went to the store was for drinks!”

One minute everything was calm, and the next people were rushing around, setting the table and making sure the food was ready. The movement only stopped when everyone started sitting down. Peter had really outdone himself. The table was set up with lit candlesticks and wild flowers; it looked like a scene out of a movie or a cosy children’s book. The soft glow of the candles made it all look sort of magical and romantic.

Dorcas sat down next to Barty and Pandora. Soon, they all broke down into their separate conversations as Peter went around the table and served the pasta. Dorcas thought it must have been laced with crack or something because it was addictingly good. 

“Now you can put ‘excellent cook’ on your Pettigrew factfile.” Barty smiled cruelly at Regulus, who was sitting in front of him. The other boy glared at him. 

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked. He was sitting opposite Pandora, next to Marlene who was in front of Dorcas. 

“Shut. Up.” Regulus warned. 

Paying it no mind, Barty just smiled and answered Sirius, “Regulus has always been a Pettigrew fanboy.”

“It’s true.” Dorcas nodded. Now it was her turn to receive Regulus’ glare, “Babe, you look at us like that so often that after a while it completely loses its effect.”

“Honestly, join the club.” Marlene shrugged, “We’re all Pettigrew fanboys.”

“I wasn’t a fanboy-” Regulus defended himself.

“Oh please,” the way Dorcas teased the boy was out of love, she promised, “You would scour through all of Gryffindor Tower’s interviews just to find one with him in it.”

Regulus scoffed, “Like that was any different to you ogling Mckinnon every time she came on screen.”

Now it was Dorcas’ turn to glare. She should’ve known Regulus never fought clean. 

“Ogling?” Marlene turned to her, grinning wildly. 

“Ogling is an exaggeration.” Dorcas clarified, shooting an angry look at Regulus, who looked much too smug for her liking, “Was I blind? No.”

Marlene just continued smiling at her, not saying anything. 

“Please, I’m not the first person to tell you that you’re pretty.” Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“Ogling suggests that you thought I was a bit more than pretty…” she took a sip from her glass of water, smirking.

“Yeah, well,” Dorcas carried on, “That was before I met you.”

She pouted, “So you haven’t fallen for my incredible wit, dazzling personality-” 

“- and deeply humble nature? Surprisingly no.”

“Well, what do I have to do to become more your type?” she asked, pretending to be completely invested in the answer. 

“Probably be more charming.” Sirius supplied.

In response, Marlene shoved his shoulder, “What do you mean? I always get told I’m charming.”

“Yeah, by people that want to get in your pants.”

“Okay but what am I supposed to do about that? That’s everyone.”

“Well, for starters,” Barty interjected, “you have to worship the ground that she walks on. Like, you truly have to believe the world revolves around her.”

“So what if I like women to adore me? Is there anything wrong with that?” Dorcas defended herself. So maybe the women in the past that she dated completely pampered her and showered her with love and affection. That was just common sense. Why wouldn’t she want that?

“You also have to be incredibly intimidating to the average person.” Regulus added.

“And also a complete asshole.” Pandora continued.

“Well you’ve got the asshole part down.” Dorcas pointed out to Marlene with a fake smile, “And anyways, why did we start making fun of me? Weren’t we making fun of Regulus?” 

“Sorry. You’re just easier to make fun of.” Regulus shrugged. 

“Says the boy who used to have a picture of Take That secretly taped to his locker.” Dorcas countered. Pandora gasped in shock.

“Says the girl who hooked up with Emilia Talkot in her dorm just so she could steal answers to the biology midterm.”

“You hooked up with her brother for the same reason!”

“It was not for the same reason - he was captain of the ice hockey team and I wanted a spot.”

“Wow, big difference.” Dorcas rolled her eyes. 

Marlene leaned in to Sirius, “I am genuinely so entertained right now.” 

“It’s like watching two wild animals in a cage fight.” Barty agreed.

“Guys, the quicker you eat the quicker we can watch steel magnolias.” James' voice carried from the other end of the table. 

“If you eat slowly James will personally come and shovel the food down your mouth.” Marlene warned Sirius in a low voice, keeping her head looking down at her plate.

The other boy chuckled at that, “I’m actually looking forward to it. James makes excellent aeroplane noises when he feeds you. They’re very accurate.”

After clearing up the table, they all filed out of the kitchen, falling into the nearest couch available. A large screen hung from the ceiling, like the ones in movie theatres, onto which a projector began rolling the opening credits of the movie. Marlene ended up sitting next to her. For someone who always seemed to so eagerly want to avoid her, the other girl was spending an awful lot of time with Dorcas. On the other couch, beside James, the phone rang.

“Yeah?” he said as he picked it up, “Oh, Laurie - hey! Yeah sure, I’ll put her on.”

He handed the phone over to Marlene. Instead of standing up like a normal person, she climbed over Dorcas and sandwiched herself in the small space between Dorcas and the side of the couch. She turned her body so that her legs were lying out on top of Dorcas’ lap.

“Si?”

The other girl’s body was oddly warm, like a furnace. 

“El finde que viene? Donde?”

Dorcas liked the sound of Spanish, especially the way Marlene spoke it. It was lyrical. It flowed like a song. Girls probably went crazy over it. 

“No sé… vas a ir vos, ¿no? Porque si no yo me quedo acá…”

Dorcas was unable to focus on anything else. God, maybe she should move to Argentina if this was how people over there sounded. 

“Vere si les puedo convencer… si, vale…mucho amor. Ciao.”

She stretched back to hang up the phone.

“How did Laurie know you were here?” Remus asked from his spot lying on Sirius. 

“I told him I was gonna be here.” after she had shuffled back to her original place on the couch. Dorcas felt oddly cold without her legs on her lap. Marlene spoke up again, “Hey, are you guys free next weekend? It’s Charlie’s birthday.”

“Which one’s Charlie again? Is he the hot brother?” James asked. 

Marlene didn’t even respond, simply looking at him with disgust. James turned to look at Mary next to him, who simply nodded knowingly.

“Then cool. I’m in.”

The rest of them chorused a similar response.

“Are you free?” Marlene asked her after Dorcas hadn’t responded and everyone had settled down to watch the movie again.

“Sorry, my mom’s coming that weekend.” Dorcas smiled apologetically.

She had been writing down lists of places to visit in LA for a week now. She’d made individual ones for tourist attractions, shopping, food, and really any category she could think of. Just the thought of seeing her mom made her chest warm. Throughout everything, they had always had each other, and the separation was proving to be more difficult than Dorcas thought it would be, even though they called each other practically every day for hours at a time. 

“Bring her.” Marlene suggested.

“... but it’s your brother’s birthday.”

Marlene waved a hand in dismissal, “It’s always an open-invite type thing. Plus, I need all the people I can get.” 

Dorcas looked at the other girl, still not one hundred percent sure.

“Please.” she insisted with wide eyes, “Aren’t you at least a little bit curious to meet my family and find out how I ended up this way?” 

Dorcas actually was curious, now that Marlene mentioned it. Besides, her mother was a sucker for a good party. She would probably never let Dorcas hear the end of it if she found out she turned down their invitation. 

Dorcas raised an eyebrow, “...fine.”

Marlene’s face erupted into a smile immediately. As a reward, she offered her the bowl of popcorn she was holding, which Dorcas took full advantage of for the rest of the movie. She kept taking handfuls, which earnt her a few small slaps on the hand from the other girl. No one stayed quiet during the film, which honestly wasn’t all that shocking to Dorcas. She would have actually been surprised if Gryffindor Tower was able to stay quiet for an hour and a half. Marlene kept a running commentary, which Dorcas had to admit kept her entertained. 

When they were halfway through, James paused the movie and proposed an interval to refill snacks and go to the restroom.

“God forbid anyone go while we’re watching.” Marlene mumbled, which made her laugh. 

Dorcas called for Pandora to get her a refill of the shared popcorn bowl as everyone else got up, leaving Marlene and her by themselves - and Remus, who had fallen asleep. Dorcas looked over to find Marlene throwing popcorn, trying to land it on the other boy’s face without him waking up. Dorcas joined in. 

“Hey, you never told me your fatal flaw.” Dorcas spoke up whilst she tried her best to land a piece of popcorn in Remus’ open mouth.

“Hmmm?” Marlene replied distractedly as she did the same.

“‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ remember?”

“Well, I’ll let you know when I find one.”  

“That wasn’t the deal.” 

If Dorcas had to unleash the can of worms that was her fatal flaw, so did Marlene. 

“Look,” Marlene turned to face her, “I told you to say it so that you could be vulnerable for your songwriting. I already write vulnerable songs. Go listen to them if you really want an answer.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Remus waking up - well, they thought he was waking up. In reality, he just moved his head a little. They continued throwing popcorn at him shortly after. 

“Speaking of,” Marlene carried on before Dorcas could say anything, “How’s the writing going?”

Dorcas remained silent for a few beats, before eventually conceding to the change in topic, “...good - its, well it’s coming out to be a lot different to how I usually write.”

“Yeah?”

Dorcas nodded, “I mean, it still has the same vibe - usually we try to go for more of a surreal style because of Pandora’s voice. But it’s a lot more… emotional than usual.”

“What do you have so far?” Marlene asked, interested.

“Oh, very little.”

Dorcas had come up with fragmented lines and words. She didn’t really have a story running through anything. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to think about it too much. But, if she could talk about it with anyone it was Marlene. 

“I have this idea of like a doll,” Dorcas began, “Sort of like this idea of fakeness - maybe more like the parts of a doll. You know, how you have to assemble all these fabricated parts of yourself in order to create the perfect image.”

Marlene had stopped throwing popcorn and was looking at her intently whilst Dorcas spoke. 

“I like that.” was all she said, with a smile. 

“Well, it’s certainly vulnerable.” Dorcas pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s good, so who cares?” 

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Remus’ snores stopping. 

“Why the fuck do I have popcorn all over me?”

Marlene and Dorcas tried to shrug with wide, innocent eyes, but the effect was dampened by the fact that they couldn’t stop laughing. Remus complained to Sirius when he walked back in, who laughed, but then retaliated by throwing popcorn back at them. 

Dorcas and Marlene spent the rest of the movie behind a pillow fort they specifically designed to defend them against the popcorn attacks.